by Taylor Hart
When they got on the ski lift up the mountain, the weather was perfect: there was no wind, and the temperature hovered in the mid-seventies. “I love this,” Jewel said, breathing in deeply. “I haven’t been up to the mountains for so long.” She threw her head back and closed her eyes. She’d put her red hair in a ponytail.
Kent admired how pretty she was, then felt guilty about it.
“What’s wrong?” she asked suddenly.
He hadn’t realized that he’d been staring like a stalker. “Sorry.” He looked away and put on a fake smile, trying to cover his awkwardness about feeling so attracted to her. “Nothing.”
“It’s okay for you to not be okay. You know that, right?”
It unnerved him that she noticed it. “I’m fine.”
She sat up straighter. “Of course you are. Because you’re a Hardman, and Hardmans do hard things.” She put her hand into a fist and lightly punched the rail.
He smiled. She used to tease him about this all the time. “That’s right.”
Their eyes locked and she slowly put her hand on top of his. “I know you’ve gone through crap. It’s okay. And I’m so sorry.” She shook her head. “Death is so hard.”
He nodded. “I’m so sorry about your mom.” He took her hand more fully and squeezed it.
“Thank you.” Then she pulled her hand back. “I probably shouldn’t just take your hand like that. Sorry.”
What could he say? There was no right answer as to how to do all this. But, he thought about what she’d said to him lat night. “Last night, you asked me if it was real between us.”
She froze, and he regretted bringing it up. “I shouldn’t have asked that,” she said.
“Jewel, I can’t explain what’s happening right now.” He let out a long breath. “But I can tell you it was real. Everything between you and I was so real to me and it hurt a lot when it ended.”
“I’m so sorry.” She faced him again, looking at his lips, and then she turned away. “I was so stupid, and I had all this self-doubt and—”
Did she want to kiss him?
Did he want to kiss her? Yes. Clear as day, he knew the answer to that question, and it surprised him. He’d thought about the past a lot these last weeks, but he hadn’t caught up to the present.
“You mentioned yesterday that you still weren’t sure it was the right thing to come see me,” she said after a minute. Her voice was small.
He met her gaze. “I just have all this guilt, ya know? That somehow coming to see you means I’m not being faithful to Addy. Beau tells me I don’t need to feel this way, but …” Why was he talking about this right now?
She hesitated. “I know you loved Addy. I hope you know that I don’t doubt that.”
“I’m just diving in too deep. I’m sorry.”
“No,” she said, her hand moving to the locket on her neck. “My father recently reminded me that sometimes the end is actually the beginning.”
Kent felt a chill as he thought about everything her father had been through. “He’s a good man.”
“Yes, he is.” She let out an embarrassed laugh. “He really wants to know if you’ll come and play charades at the house one night. He even started a text thread with Molly and McKay, partly because he wants to have a shot at beating you. And Molly and McKay are just my besties and won’t be left out, either.”
He was glad that all of them wanted to see him, though it also made him a bit nervous. He forced himself to relax. “Sure, I’m up for charades.”
“Really?” She looked worried. “You really don’t have to.”
“Tell the old man that he’s going down tomorrow night. And I’m not going easy on him.”
She laughed and then texted her father.
The top of the mountain loomed before them, getting closer and closer.
She nodded and scooted to her side, preparing to exit the lift. “Here we go.”
Kent laughed, unable to believe they were really going to do this. “You ready for this?”
Her grin widened. “I was born ready.”
Kent walked with her up the mountain. For right or for wrong, he still liked this woman. A lot.
Chapter 19
Jewel listened as the instructor told them how to hold the hang glider. She practiced maneuvering the hand pulls, but her mind was elsewhere, stewing in her angst about Kent. The man was ripped. Yeah. She’d only seen his arms, but he looked good. He still hadn’t shaved, and his facial hair was just long enough to be sexy.
Kip stood in front of her. “Don’t be nervous. It’ll be fun.” He fixed her strap. “Especially once we get you guys up in the air. You’re going to love it.”
She nodded. There was no point in telling him that her nerves had nothing to do with hang gliding. She was intensely aware that Kent stood not far off, going through this same procedure with Hank.
“Okay,” Kip said, pointing to the handholds. “If you pull that one, we go to the right. If you pull that one, we go to the left. It’s simple.”
She took the holds and imagined herself maneuvering this baby.
“And don’t worry. If you do it wrong, I’ll fix it.”
“Great.”
Kent nodded. “Let’s do this.”
They lined up, and the instructors went behind them. “Remember,” Kip said, “we’ll start with a motor helping us take off and get some air. Then I’ll cut the motor, and it’ll be up to the wind and us.”
“Okay.”
Kent gave her a thumbs-up and laughed.
It was exhilarating, standing at the top of the mountain, getting ready to hang glide. The motors started, and they lifted into the air. Then they took off, and the rush of flight was absolutely amazing. The cool wind whipped at her face. The smell of pine hit her hard, followed by other smells. It felt like she was a balloon that had slipped from a child’s hand. “Woohoo!” she yelled.
Kent turned toward her, putting his hands in the air and yelling, “Freedom, baby!”
She laughed, and both of them whooped and hollered.
“Okay, take the controls. I’m cutting the engine,” Kip said.
Jewel took the controls, feeling so alive in this moment.
He cut the engine, and her stomach pitched as the wind caught them, but they stayed where they were.
From his hang glider, Kent shouted, “Woohoo!” Then he cut to the right.
She held for a second, overwhelmed by the view they had up here in the sky. There were a million trees, and she saw the ski slopes that had been carved out of the mountain. Lake Dillon sparkled in the distance.
“You can maneuver if you want,” Kip called out.
She tugged on the right lever, and they veered to the right. She let out a little giggle. “Oh my gosh.”
Kip laughed behind her.
She pulled on the other lever, and they went to the left. “I’m an eagle!” She loved it. She adjusted the levers back and forth.
After a bit, Kip put his hands over hers. “Okay, we’ll need to straighten out and make sure we’re headed toward the landing strip.” He turned them 180 degrees.
She held her feet up as they slowed way down. Then they swooped in for the landing, and she put her feet down when they came to a complete stop.
“Woohoo!” Kip called behind her, helping her unstrap. “That was awesome.”
“Yes!” she said.
Kent rushed toward her, his face alight with enthusiasm, and held open his arms.
She ran into them.
He picked her up and spun her.
They both laughed and shouted.
It was then that the truth really hit her: she’d never stopped loving this man.
Chapter 20
The sun was setting as they left the ski resort.
“You hungry?” Kent asked.
“Yeah, I’m starving.”
He pulled off into a little half bar, half restaurant. As they got out, he noted the Western feel of the place. The music wasn’t too loud, but he cou
ld see people in there dancing. He opened the door for her.
A rather small woman with hair that looked straight out of the eighties gestured to a table. “Seat yourself and I’ll be right there.”
They took the seat and picked up the menus on the table. Chips and salsa were delivered minutes later, along with waters. Kent decided quickly what to get and put his menu down, reaching for the chips and salsa.
Jewel studied the menu closely, just as she used to when they were in college.
Kent dunked his chips and ate them with a small smile of remembrance.
The server came, and they both ordered.
Jewel dove into the chips and looked around. “I like it.”
“Of course you do. You’ve always liked Mexican food.”
She grinned. “Yes, I always have.”
Her eyes held his and he felt all this chemistry between them.
His phone buzzed. He pulled it out and saw a message from Charles. We need you back. I have a doctor in another village down. Can you leave the day after tomorrow?
“Is everything okay?”
Disappointment filled him. “Shoot. My boss is asking me to come home day after tomorrow. I guess something is wrong with another doctor in another village, and they need me.”
“Really?” She sounded as disappointed as he felt.
“Guess so.” He texted Charles he would change his flight.
Jewel dunked a chip and stared at him. “I wish you could stay longer,” she said, taking a sip of water.
Their food came and they ate, talking about the food and how good it was. When his brain finally registered that he could slow down, he sipped his water and let the memories of college seep in.
Did she really wish he could stay longer? He wanted to be that direct with her, but how?
“What are you thinking?” she asked.
Reluctantly, he admitted it. “We have had a lot of history between us.” History that hadn’t been dealt with.
She lifted her eyebrows and took a sip of water. “Yes, we do.”
“Did you know Addy and I only really started dating after you …” he trailed, then decided to just say it. “After you broke things off.”
Jewel shook her head. “I didn’t know when you started dating.”
He nodded.
“Kent, I am really sorry. When I showed up and saw you and Addy kissing, I kinda had a freak-out.” She swallowed and looked down at her hands. Then she reached for her locket. “And when you came to Boston and tried to explain it all, I …” She trailed off, and her eyes met his. “I had convinced myself that what we had couldn’t have been real. And I convinced myself that it was better anyway, not to be with you because then I could focus on Harvard.” Tears misted into her eyes.
All the old feelings of anger and frustration surfaced. It surprised him how quickly all of these feelings were revived.
A tear streaked down her face, and her brow creased. “Letting you go was one of my biggest regrets.”
For a few moments neither of them spoke, then he sucked in a breath and made a decision. He reached across the table and took her hand. “I told you I forgave you. And I did.” He swallowed. “But it was hard, Jewel. It was really hard.”
She nodded.
He squeezed her hand. “But if losing my wife the way I did taught me anything, it’s that all we can do is forgive.” He grunted and took a sip of water. “I don’t know why this is all hitting me right now. Probably because I’ve realized …”
She squeezed his hand. “What?”
The music changed to an old Montana Crew song—the song he had first danced to with Jewel.
“I can’t believe this song is on,” she whispered.
On impulse, he stood. “Let’s dance.”
She followed him to the dance floor, and a smile played at her lips. “There’s only one other couple out here.”
He easily them into a two-step. His heart rate kicked up a notch as he searched her eyes. “All we need is each other.”
Her lip trembled. “That’s true. Especially for a non-relationship.”
He laughed, thinking about how they had denied over and over that they were dating in those early weeks of their relationship.
Now, all time and space were forgotten as he twirled her in and out. So many memories of dancing with Jewel rushed through him. They would go out dancing with their groups of friends in college every Monday night. It’d been something he’d missed a lot.
Another song came on, and they continued dancing. He found himself pulling her closer. Their breath mixed, and he wanted to kiss her.
Her eyes held his. “Kent…”
“Yeah.”
She blinked. “Are you going to kiss me?”
The song ended, but he just stood there, staring into her eyes. For the past year, he’d missed Addy so much. The whole reason he’d left the States was to get away from any memory of her, and he hadn’t wanted any kind of relationship. But all of this—standing here, holding Jewel, finally healing from the past and remembering all the love they’d once had between them—made him certain of one thing: he wanted a second chance with this woman. Carefully, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.
Her arms went around his waist, and his hands held her face as he slowly and tenderly kissed her.
Fireworks exploded inside of him, and he realized that even though part of him hated himself for it, he’d never stopped loving her.
“Wait.” She pulled back.
Guilt burned through him. He let her go. “You’re right. We should wait. I shouldn’t have done that.” He turned away from her, feeling unsteady. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Wait, Kent. It’s okay,” she said, following him and reaching for his hand. “Let’s just slow down and talk.”
Addy’s face flashed into his mind. “No, let’s go. This was a bad idea.”
Chapter 21
Jewel didn’t know what to say as they drove the hour to her father’s home.
As they pulled up to her dad’s house, Kent turned off the car. “I’m sorry.”
Unease and doubt crept into her thoughts. She didn’t know what to do, so she opted for the easy out. “Kent, don’t worry about it. That didn’t mean anything. It’s fine and—”
“But it did mean something,” he said, cutting her off. He covered her hand with his.
This hadn’t been what she’d expected after the long drive home. She met his gaze, and she could sense the heaviness weighing him down. It was the same heaviness she felt in herself.
He pulled his hand back. “I don’t know how to do this with you.”
“I know.”
He tapped the steering wheel and let out a curse word. “But I want to.”
“You do?” Her mouth felt dry, and the pit of her stomach fluttered.
“Look, I know I’m not going to do things right. Frankly, I don’t know what that is anymore, but I can’t get around the fact that maybe this is our second chance.”
Warmth filled her, and she put her hand to her mouth, trying not to cry. “Or a new beginning.”
A smile played at his lips. “Exactly.”
So many emotions rushed through her. “So what do we do now?”
Both of them jumped a little when the porch light flickered on and off.
“My father,” Jewel said with a laugh.
Kent squeezed her hand. “We just begin. Right where we are.”
Happiness surged inside of her, and she knew she would take this chance. “Okay.”
He got out and rushed to her side of the car to open the door. Being with Kent still felt surreal, and she marveled at it as he walked her to the door.
She was surprised when he pressed the doorbell. “What are you doing?” she asked.
Instantly, her father answered.
“Hey, Frank,” Kent said. “I wanted to say hi.”
Her father hugged him and pulled him inside. He started showing off the luggage he just bought for his tri
p to Africa, and Jewel got to just sit back and wonder what life could have been like if she’d actually married Kent when he’d asked ten years ago. She pushed away the regret and decided to be happy. This was awesome.
As Kent was leaving, he kissed the back of her hand. “Night, Jewels. I guess we finally checked hang gliding off the list.”
She smiled. “Yes, we did.”
He winked at her. “Maybe we’ll put new things on that list, too.”
“I’d like that.”
Chapter 22
Kent focused on the audience, hoping he could relate how he felt about his experience over the last year.
His eyes met Jewel’s. When he’d started speaking, he hadn’t seen her and he’d wondered if she’d gotten hung up at work. Now, she gave him a thumbs-up and a wide grin. His heart raced and he smiled back, unable to believe that she was here.
He focused on the reason he was here, on what had helped him heal. “There is a boy named Hoppy. He’s fourteen. He’s taken it upon himself to be my assistant, and he’s bright and fun and constantly learning. But the thing that is so interesting is the faith the boy has.” He cleared his throat. “Recently, there was a woman who lost a child. Part of the problem with Africa is that women rarely get prenatal care, they rarely even get to a hospital or have a doctor when they have the baby.”
As he spoke, his mind went back to the darkness of that night. “I was woken in the night, and I ran to the woman’s home. She was in the middle of labor, and the baby was born breech with the cord wrapped around the neck.” He clutched the podium tightly. “I was so angry. I was so angry that I was too late. I was so angry at the whole lack of care for these people. And truthfully, I was angry at God. I’d gone outside and I was cursing a bit when Hoppy came out and asked me why God allowed death.”
He blinked again and focused on Jewel. She had tears running down her cheeks.
“A year ago, I lost my wife in a car crash.” He hadn’t planned to mention this, but it felt right. “And part of the reason I went to Africa was to get away from it all. The sad looks. The confusion. The anger. The pain. But when I told Hoppy I didn’t know why God allowed those things, he took …” He broke off, thinking of the boy’s rough, callused hands. Those hands carried water and firewood and anything else his family needed. “He took my hand and told me that he’d lost his mother when he was young, and that his grandma told him that sometimes God is putting us on a different path, a path that we don’t understand—but if we have faith, we will see the path for our life.” A tear trickled down his cheek. “Africa has taught me to have more faith in God’s ways even when I don’t understand so many things. I stand here today and I encourage you all to go to Africa. To serve. To give. To love. It’s the cure to everything and it will help you more than you could ever help someone else.”
