A few months earlier they'd been operating out of a temporary location shoehorned into a strip mall. They had planned to move into a permanent home, a place known as the Chief Building, to be purchased from the city. At the last minute, the city had killed the deal and wouldn't disclose why.
Meanwhile, the lease at the strip mall expired and they'd moved into this even less useful space at the community college. Ester and her three co-workers worked together in one room. The only thing worse would have been to close the center and have no job at all.
Rayanne, her friend and co-worker, came in the door with her boyfriend, Henry, close behind. Ester was still too unnerved by her close encounter with Theo to tease them about the obvious nooner. She could tell by the giddy lunatic glow in their eyes. Henry had his hands on her waist and she was smoothing the front of his shirt.
"How was lunch?" was the best she could come up with.
"Lunch was great," Henry said. He hadn't taken his eyes off Rayanne since they'd entered the room. What was that feeling when you were happy your friend had found someone but witnessing her endless bliss made your own life feel hopeless?
Rayanne kissed Henry goodbye and then unwound a long flannel scarf from her neck. "Give me some heat," she said, coming to stand by the heater. "How about you? What did you do?"
"Nothing," Ester said. She adjusted the heat to blow on Rayanne. She rubbed her hands together and opened the spreadsheets she needed to go over with Linda by the end of the day.
"What happened to getting a new coat?" Rayanne said. "Yours is so worn you can see through it."
"Haven't gotten around to it yet." Ester didn't want to explain that she'd misplaced the gift card from the Big Stop Outdoor Store that her parents had given her specifically to buy a new coat. She thought she had put it in her dresser drawer but it wasn't there last time she checked. She hadn't had time for a thorough search yet.
"Let's go after work. I can drive you over there and then take you home."
"Not today," Ester said in a tone intended to end the conversation.
"Sure," Rayanne said as the coffee finished brewing. She poured two fresh cups and handed Ester one, then she slid her chair over to Ester's desk and took a sip. "What a nice hot drink after that cold air outside."
"You're not kidding. My hands froze into claws out there." Ester wrapped her hands around the cup. Rayanne gave her a look—a look that Ester herself had perfected. A suggestive, questioning look.
Uh oh.
Ester took a big sip of coffee. "I'm feeling warmer already." She returned her attention to her desk, rearranging her documents and files. "Does anyone else use this room?"
Rayanne stayed where she was. "Who were you talking to?" she asked in a casual tone.
"Seriously," Ester said, waving her hands over her things, "someone comes in here and disturbs my files and leaves empty cups behind. They could be stealing our supplies or—“
"—or our grant research?" Rayanne asked.
"Yes," Ester agreed. "People could be after our valuable paperwork."
Rayanne shook her head.
"I'm setting up a spy cam so I can find out," Ester said. She opened a desk drawer as if searching for the camera that she already knew was in a box at home.
"The guy?"
"What guy?" Ester said, her voice going up a half octave. She shifted her attention to her computer screen and the spreadsheet she'd made to map out how much coffee they drank.
"Outside the computer lab? I recognized your crummy coat."
"No one."
Rayanne leaned forward and in a knowing voice said, "No one?"
"Correct. I have no idea who you are talking about," Ester said. She busied herself formatting cells in fancy patterns.
"Big guy. The kind of big that could inspire fear, except cheekbones for miles. His hair was hidden under a hat but he's built like a Maori rugby player. Super-hero muscles, big hands—"
"Okay, okay. I was talking to that guy. I left my drive in the lab and he gave it to me. It's no big deal."
"Are you sure? Your face is bright pink." Rayanne sat back again, a sly smile on her face.
"It's working. I'm embarrassed. Are you happy now?"
"Embarrassing you isn't what makes me happy. Who is he?"
"Theo. Jicarilla Apache. That's all the intel I have. He worked in the computer lab and I've been crushing on him. That's the first time we spoke. He asked me a bunch of questions and I froze up and then ran away. I like his chest muscles, too, if you must know. That's it, you know it all. Will you leave me alone now?"
"Look at you, all grown up. When are you seeing him again?"
"Did that count as seeing him once?"
"It does," Rayanne said.
"I don't know. He doesn't work in the lab anymore."
"What did you guys talk about?"
"I'm not sure. I was staring at his face, and my ears stopped working."
"We can track him down. Theo, the studly Jicarilla Apache from the computer lab."
Ester chilled all over. "I don't know his last name. Do we have to keep talking about this?"
"Come on, girl, you talk a big life. You whine about never meeting dudes. You talk about going home alone. Make a plan about this guy."
"We're not all born confident like you are," Ester said.
"It's not confidence. I just don't let doubt control me."
"People with confidence are always saying they aren't confident and then ordering the rest of us to get over it. It's not easy for me."
"It's not easy for anyone. What's the alternative? Either you take the risk or you wait until some imaginary perfect person finds you and does all the work to turn you into a couple. So you get nervous when you talk to him. Think of three things to say next time you see him. If he doesn't want to talk, he'll duck out of the conversation and you move on."
"Do you think he would let me touch his abs?" Ester said.
Rayanne laughed. "That can be one of your three things."
"I never imagined myself with someone built like a linebacker. I would need a stepladder to hop on him."
Rayanne leaned forward. "That would be the fun part. Think of three things. You can practice on me later."
Their coworker Tommy came in. He shook his coat off and hung it over his chair.
"Fresh coffee, hooray," he said.
"If you like fresh coffee, I can show you how to make it," Ester said, "for next time."
"I don't need to make any, a fresh pot is right here," Tommy said with a smile. He dragged his chair over to join the conversation.
"Did Henry recruit you?" Ester asked.
"He did," Tommy said. "The bus is booked and I am your trusty driver."
"For the birthday celebration?" Rayanne asked. "Where did you guys decide on?"
"Frenzy's." Ester mimicked the radio ad and sang, "Everyone is going to Frenzy's." She jumped to her feet and circled her hips while tilting her head side-to-side like a pop star.
Rayanne sang with her, "All your dreams come true at Frenzy's. Make new friends at Frenzy's."
Tommy made an unhappy grunting sound. "Henry did not make that part clear."
"I love Frenzy's," Ester said. "Not the drunky, meat-market part. But the two levels of loud pounding music and flashing lights so I can dance my feet off part I like a lot. The first time I heard the ad I thought it was Friendsies, like a cute plural of friends."
"It isn't a place you want to be stone sober," Tommy said. He'd given up drinking before they knew him but this was the first time they'd recruited him for designated driver duties.
"Are you changing your mind?" Rayanne asked.
"Nope," Tommy said. "I'll get through it."
"What are you wearing?" Rayanne asked.
Tommy glanced down at his outfit. "Pants, shirt, shoes. That okay?"
"Not you." Rayanne shot Ester a pointed look.
"Pants, shirt, shoes. That okay?"
"No. It is not okay. Wear the cute little black dress you
wore for the festival. You were radiant that night."
Ester was mostly shaped like a boy except for her breasts. Her body was all limbs and no shape except for the two that poked out in front. Nothing looked good on her. "It's winter. I'll freeze to death getting from the bus to the club. Plus I spent that entire night pulling it down. While I was in the midst of my best dance moves, that skirt rode up like it was trying to escape. I don't want my butt dangling out for all to see."
"That's the whole point," Rayanne said. "Show a little skin."
"My entire butt skin?"
"Let's shop for something new. It would be fun."
"Did I tell you the one about how I'm dead broke?" Ester said. She normally didn't complain about it because she didn't want anyone to guess how tight things were for her.
"Cody and Sam are attending," Rayanne said.
"Cody and Sam? Cody of the huge biceps has never set an eyeball on me and paused to think about it. Sam is an awkward tech nerd who is too sweaty and nervous. Our combined poor social skills would create a black hole to end the world. Besides, I thought you were trying to set me up with the computer center guy." She pointed at Tommy. "Why don't you pick on him?"
"Whose side are you on?" Tommy said, with humor in his voice. "What computer center guy?"
"Whose side are YOU on?" Ester said, but she was laughing, too.
Tommy pulled his chair back to his own desk.
Rayanne put her hands up in surrender. "I'll drop it. But it would be fun to dress up. Especially since we hardly ever go out like this anymore."
"I'll think about it," Ester said. She already knew she was wearing the little black dress; she had no other going-out clothes to choose from.
4
After his last class, Theo headed to the parking lot to warm up his car. With the lab job gone, the pressure was on to drive more. He signed into the ridesharing app and then cracked open a book to study while he waited. If he could travel back in time and tell the younger Theo—the version who skipped school and drove around getting high—that he would voluntarily return to school, what would that kid say to him? He didn't skip class now, and the time after school was for study and for work. He'd traded in his pickup for this dumb car so he had a more appealing ride.
As expected, within a few minutes of logging in he had a ride request from on campus. A short ride, too. He drove around to the Student Services building to pick her up. This was his favorite type of job. He could fit in more than one before going home to get ready for his night job.
A light rain had started up, the kind Theo referred to as a driving mist. He drove as close to the entrance as he could and waved. Two women in fancy white coats hurried to the car, their heads down. The first one hesitated when she saw Theo through the window. He offered a reassuring smile and motioned her into the car but by that time the other one had the door open, tossed in her book bag, and crawled in after it. The first followed and, once settled, they pushed back their fur-trimmed hoods and dipped their heads down to their phones.
"Hey," Theo said, glancing back via the rear-view mirror. Neither woman looked up. "Warm enough for you back there?"
"Sure," one of them said. Her eyes never left her phone, one finger sweeping across the screen. "Can you pick up one of our friends?"
"Where is she?" Theo asked. He waited for a full minute but neither one answered. He put the car in drive and headed for their destination.
"Never mind," one of them said. They tilted their heads together and kept their voices low. A lot of rides didn't start a conversation and, strange as it was to sit in his car with another person in silence, he rarely made the effort himself. The car hadn't even come to a full stop in front of their apartment building before they had the doors open to get out. They both wore high-heeled white boots, an extravagance he tried to find humor in. If he compared other students' situations with his own, he would never get out of bed in the morning.
They left one of the car doors ajar and he had to get out to shut it. "You're welcome," he muttered.
He drove to the local mini-mart to pick up an energy drink. The driving mist had ramped up into a steady cold drizzle. He checked the time. He could squeeze in one more ride.
Instead of reading, he worked on a journal entry for Professor Stone. She had told her students they needed to practice writing well and completing pieces quickly. The assignment was five short articles every week; the topic wasn't important. She didn't ask for a bunch of research or interview sources, but she wanted to see a variety of stories about real issues, not lazy work like interviewing friends about student loans or covering sports.
All of his ideas circled back to finances: students finding jobs that worked with an academic schedule, on-campus jobs run by nerds who want to meet cute girls, students with no family resources trying to support themselves, the foolishness of taking on a car loan to get a better car for ride sharing.
His phone rang and he checked the display.
Jess from the moving company. Finally, good news. Jess paid better than the muscle-for-hire app and he paid cash. Any time Jess had work, it took some pressure off.
"What's going on?" Theo said.
"I got two jobs tomorrow. Four hours total. One hundred bucks."
When Jess said four hours, it meant more like six.
"That's my whole day," Theo said. "I have the chance for a bigger job but don't have the details yet. Yours sound better if you can come up with more money." This wasn't true but if Jess was calling at the last minute, it gave him some leverage.
Jess sighed. "One fifty."
"Hm," Theo said, pretending to mull it over.
"I know other people if you don't want the work."
"Okay, okay," Theo said. Jess was playing him right back, but that was okay. They needed each other and Jess knew Theo was reliable. "Text me a time and address. See you in the morning."
Thanks, Theo."
The ride-sharing app chimed again and he headed back to campus.
This time a friendly stoner guy hopped in the front seat. "What's up? You're Theo? I'm Theo, too." He shook Theo's hand and gave him a wide smile.
"Theodore?" Theo asked. He liked stoners. They always seemed so content with whatever the world offered. He wished he could get into that headspace.
"That's me. When I was a kid, I was Teddy. You don't seem like a Teddy."
"I'm not," Theo agreed.
"I get you," Teddy said. Theo had already pulled away but his ride announced, "We're going to Big Barn to pick up booze for the weekend."
"Sounds good," Theo said. "You have your own ID?"
"No worries," Teddy said. He laughed. "All legal and on the up-and-up. People ask you to buy for them?"
"Not often," Theo said. "I say no."
"I hear you," Teddy said. "There are so many ways that can go wrong."
Theo thought the guy seemed familiar. "You in Professor Stone's class?"
"Vis-comm. You too?" Teddy gave Theo the once-over. "I didn't think you were a student. That's a good class. How are you doing in it?"
"She's busting my ass over the final project," Theo said.
"Yeah, she is an ass-buster, but a good teacher."
Theo pulled into the Big Barn parking lot.
"You come in, help me out and take me back, I'll give you another twenty bucks," Teddy said. Even the hippie kids had money to throw around.
Theo checked the time. "Why not," he said.
Throughout the store Teddy kept up a steady stream of conversation. He mentioned another digital reporting class that Theo hadn't gotten into yet, the latest snow report, and the two dogs he had brought back to his folks because it was a pain to take care of them while in school. Theo watched in fascination as the guy loaded the cart with boxes of beer and big jugs of hard alcohol, trying to fathom having the money to pay for all this.
At one point Teddy smiled. "Typical college weekend."
Theo nodded like he understood even though he'd yet to experience such a typica
l college weekend.
They checked out and Theo drove Teddy to a rundown older house. The neighborhood was filled with similar homes that had been remodeled with student housing in mind. He helped carry in the booze. The house smelled like stale beer and wet dog. They stacked the drinks on a scuffed table in what would have been the dining room.
"Thanks, dude," Teddy said, using his phone to transfer the promised twenty. "You should come back later. Good crowd, not the usual types. Hang out."
"Thanks," Theo said. "Night job."
"Doesn't matter," Teddy said. "We'll be up late."
"I'll keep it in mind," Theo said, wishing it were true. He couldn't imagine having anything in common with Teddy and his friends.
He headed home for a power nap and quick shower before he had to get to work.
His mind drifted back to his new favorite Shoshone. Something about those brown eyes and the way her brows knit together before she said something. Her closed-mouth smile, as if she knew something she wasn't going to share. She had shown zero sign of interest and he was in no position to start something even if she had. But his thoughts kept going back her anyway. Maybe the attraction came from a deeper place. She reminded him of home. Plus she was smart. He always had a thing for the smart ones. But the smart ones knew well enough to stay away from him.
5
Ester boarded the bus last. She strutted down the aisle, slapping everyone's hands. "This bus smells like elders, basketballs, and hope."
"That's a song title," Jack, the guest of honor, said. She gave him a birthday hug before she sat down. Jack was like a Labrador, loyal and even-tempered. He was Henry's childhood friend and the lead singer of a band called the Beat Braves.
Sam, the band's bass player, gave her a nervous wave before typing into his phone. "I'm making a note of it." He was more techie than she, and great at television trivia. He was always wanting to tell her about some computer problem he'd solved.
She sat down next to Cody. He was their guitar player and a mechanic. He was the one who helped Tommy get the center's bus running when they first purchased it. Cody looked like a rock star yet acted surprised when women surrounded him.
Lovesick Braves Page 2
