"When our people are away from home, they feel like a piece of them is missing. This is a place for them to fill the empty spot. The programs enable us to stay together."
Ester tucked her phone away and gave Margie a hug. "We thank you for it every day." Margie smiled and patted her arms. Theo's heart opened up at the easy affection that passed between them.
"Thanks, Margie," Professor Stone said. To Theo, she said, "I'm ready to pack up."
"Got it," he said. "Nice to meet you, Margie."
"I'll see you again," she said with a flirty smile.
Theo traded a grin with Ester before going off to put the gear away.
Professor Stone worked with him, winding up cables and stowing them away. "What about you?" she said. "Do you feel less lost?"
She'd been so pissy with him since he’d arrived, he misunderstood her question for sarcasm, but when he looked at her, she was sincere. Theo thought about it. The first time he'd seen Ester with her friends at the club, he’d admired their camaraderie. Then there was the day with Arnie's family and again here in the longhouse. He was surrounded by Indian people and there was a sense of something he couldn't articulate. With Ester, he thought of it as peacefulness. Here, with the group, an unfamiliar sense of belonging expanded in his heart. Out in his everyday life, on campus or his endless jobs, a part of him stayed wary. That part turned off when he was here.
"It sounds goofy but yeah, I do."
"It doesn't sound goofy," Professor Stone said.
Out at her car, they loaded up the equipment. She slammed the back door shut. "I need to talk to you," she said.
"Sounds ominous," he said, but he knew what was coming.
"I've given you so many chances. So many last chances…" She glanced up at the sky, searching for words. "Do you care about this?"
"I'm doing the best I can," Theo said.
"I know you're in a tough position," Professor Stone said, "but I can't reward someone because he means well. You missed most of the day."
He wanted to speak, but her look made him stay quiet.
"I want my students to succeed but I'm feeling taken advantage of."
Theo stared into the distance. Making up for missed schoolwork by working on her film had always been a fragile proposition, but he thought he could balance the time. "Honestly, I want to pass this class."
"You have to pass the class, otherwise you have no financial aid. You haven't done the work. Your final project was lazy, thrown-together work."
That was like a cold punch in the gut because it wasn't true. He'd put a lot of work into his final project. He'd spent time with Fran's knitting friends in the yarn shop and at their get-togethers. He’d researched other yarn art projects around town. He didn't have a lot to work with due to his time constraints but he'd put together a story, as the assignment called for.
"Sorry, Theo, being smart but lazy can only get you so far."
"Am I failing your class?"
"I don't see what choice I have," Professor Stone said.
Any number of arguments came to mind, but the set look on her face made clear the time for negotiation had passed. He'd done his best and failed.
"Thanks for giving me a chance," Theo said. He looked her in the eye and shook her hand and then returned to the longhouse. Everything was about to change quickly and there was no way to stop it.
"You're pooped," Ester said as she dragged Theo into the kitchen. She slid an extra paper plate under the soggy one heaped with the lunch she'd saved for him and pushed the food into his hands. She guided him to an empty sliver of counter space and handed him a plastic fork. "Sorry, the meatballs are kinda stingy." She turned to Rayanne. "No ball jokes, please."
"Thanks, Ester," Theo said, gloomier than she'd ever seen him. She guessed Professor Stone was on his case. She wanted to be the one to make the troubles go away.
"This is delicious," Theo said. "Thanks, guys."
"Anytime," Henry said. "Join us for beer after this?"
Theo shook his head. "I'm driving tonight."
Off of Henry's questioning look, he explained, "Rideshare. That's one of my side gigs. Another time, for sure."
Ester sprinted around the cramped kitchen with the rest of the staff, anxious to finish the clean up. Even Arnie had his sleeves rolled up and wrestled with the sink nozzle and a big metal dish.
Theo sat hunched over his plate, shoving forkful after forkful into his mouth as if he were in a contest for joyless eating.
Ester's heart sank. She found a pitcher of punch that hadn't been dumped yet and poured him a glass.
"Something happen with Professor Stone?"
Theo shook his head and stabbed another forkful of spaghetti. "Let me enjoy being here with your friends."
"They're your friends, too," Ester said. She gave him a quick squeeze. "More hugs later."
Theo nodded, something like defeat in his eyes.
"Looked like the filming went well," Arnie said, oblivious to their quiet moment. "Did she get what she wanted?"
"If you like clips of elders getting interrupted while they're eating, then yes—today was a win," Ester said.
Arnie’s expression turned to annoyance. He dropped the clean dish on the counter with a clatter.
"What do you think, Theo?" Arnie asked.
"I missed most of it, which is why I'm in big trouble with the professor." He offered a regretful smile. "She has a specific idea of what images of Indian people will convey a message. Whether those images will help with what you're trying to do, I don't know."
"I'm sure it's better than you think," Arnie said. He dried his hands and rolled his sleeves back down. "I'm driving back to the rez tonight, so I'm out of here."
Rayanne and Linda traded a knowing glance. Henry and Tommy started trading dumb jokes, so Ester took her phone out to get a few last shots of the gang cleaning up. Theo laughed along with them a few times, but mostly he kept quiet, his eyes on his plate. Ester pushed back the creeping uneasiness.
They finished mopping up and carried out the trash. Linda locked up the longhouse while Henry urged them to go to the bar one more time.
"You should join them," Theo said. "I'm not good company right now. Don't sit out on my account." His face remained blank, his voice emotionless. Whatever was going on, he was keeping it to himself.
"I'd rather hang out with you," she said, reaching for his hand.
"Not tonight," he said, pulling back.
The words froze in her heart. "Will you drive me home?" She didn't know what she would do if he said no.
"If you want."
Ester waved goodbye to the others. She unlocked her bike and wheeled it beside her as they walked to his car. The campus was quiet. The only sound was the soft click from her bike.
"Did I do something?" Ester asked.
"This isn't about you." Theo rubbed the back of his neck. "Professor Stone is failing me."
The heavy knot in Ester's stomach loosened. She suppressed a huge sigh of relief. "Because you were late?"
Theo chuckled. "More than that. This isn't the first time I was late. She gave me many chances."
"But you caught up on all your work. You turned in your final project."
"She said it was lazy work."
Theo's gait grew faster. Ester struggled to keep up with him. "That can't be the end of it. Can you do it over?"
"No," Theo said. "Even if she would accept it, which is unlikely, she thinks I've been disrespectful, and maybe I have although not intentionally. I don't have time to do it over."
He was ahead of her now. His car sat in the middle of the parking lot. She waited for him to open it so she could load her bike but instead he turned around and leaned against it. He radiated a dangerous mixture of frustration and anger.
"You can finish the other classes. Try to do better next quarter," Ester said. She wanted to hug him but his body was not inviting.
"Remember, if I fail, no more financial aid."
If Theo lost
financial aid, he was out of school. If he left school, he would go back home. The heaviness returned along with an odd sensation of falling.
"What happens now?" she asked.
Theo rubbed his face with his hands and heaved a weary sigh. "I don't know what choice I have."
"You're going home now, just like that?" Ester said. He was smart and worked hard. There had to be another chance, plus they had this thing between them.
Theo's eyes went dark. "Not just like that. I've busted my ass trying to make this thing work. I've done everything I can."
"You said school was the most important thing."
"It is. It was. Not every story ends with everyone getting what they want."
"Maybe this is one of those decisions you're not thinking through." Ester tried to keep her voice calm.
"I tried my best. I wasn't good enough. What's the matter, you don't want me if I don't finish school?" Theo's voice rose louder.
If she wasn't so sure of him, she might be afraid. "I don't want you if you're going to give up so easily on something you said was important to you," Ester said, the words coming out in a sob. He wasn't just giving up on school, he was giving up on them. She cleared her throat and met his gaze so he wouldn't think she was crying.
Theo's face was dark with outrage. "Who are you to get on my case about giving up easily? At least I showed up and tried. You hide in your sad little room with your stuff piled in boxes and let your roommate's girlfriend push you around. You could kick her ass. And your film work is a million times better than Katie's, but instead of doing something about it you bury yourself in a job you don't like because you're terrified of putting yourself out there. Oh no, what if I end up living in a car? You survived."
Luckily she had her bike to hang on to because her knees went watery. His words stung not just because they were true but because of the cold delivery. "Why are you picking on me?" she said, her own voice rising with outrage. "You finally have a...a tribe here and people rooting for you and you're ditching us."
He shook his head. "I have to get out of here. I told you from the start this was never going to work. No point in dragging it out."
Ester opened and closed her mouth, not sure what to say. She didn't want him to leave, but she didn't want them to keep yelling either. It couldn't be ending like this.
On the inside she was still falling, only faster now. He got out his car keys and opened the door. She waited for him to say something, or for the right words to come to her, but there was nothing.
The world moved in slow motion. He didn't say goodbye. He got in the car and drove away.
28
Ester parked the bike in the garage and entered the house. MacKenzie called to her but Ester headed straight for her room and closed the door. She curled up on the bed and replayed the conversation in a dark loop in her head, trying to pinpoint the moment when the conversation shifted from this is what happened to this is over. Where might she have said something different to change the outcome? She shouldn't have yelled at him.
They were finished, and he was packing up his tiny apartment. Then he would be gone. She closed her eyes. A painful surge of desperation flooded through her. She should have told him she didn't want him to leave. Don't leave. Those are the words she should have repeated over and over until he changed his mind. She pressed her hand to the aching spot in her chest. They couldn't be finished. They were barely started. And he had to finish school.
She opened her eyes. The door to the closet stood ajar, and a sweater had fallen into a heap on the floor. She sat up and studied her room. Her laptop was on the dresser along with a stack of library books. The metal tin that once held chocolates and now held loose change sat next to them.
The shower caddy with her toiletries hung off the back of a chair. But something was missing. Her eyes flicked around the room several times until she realized what it was: the condom treasure chest was gone. Linda had let her take it home and she kept it next to her bed.
Ester grabbed the laptop. The spy camera was supposed to reassure her that nothing was going on. Dennis wouldn't let his girlfriend steal from her. But when she pulled up the footage, MacKenzie wandered through her room, methodically opening and closing drawers. Ester's blood boiled watching her poke around her closet before opening the funny little box and leaving the room with it.
Her body knotted up in a mixture of fury and betrayal. She grabbed her wallet and rode her bike to the hardware store. When she returned, Dennis was back, his car parked in the driveway.
She grabbed a screwdriver from the toolbox Dennis kept in the garage and stomped into the house. MacKenzie read a recipe off of her phone while Dennis stirred something on the stove.
"Hey, Ester," Dennis said. "How did the lunch thing go?"
"It sucked and I have a problem with your girlfriend," Ester said. She went back to her room to replace the doorknob.
Dennis and MacKenzie carried on a muffled conversation in the kitchen, most likely Dennis wondering what the hell was going on and MacKenzie telling him that she would deal with it. MacKenzie came to the hallway to watch her.
Ester had a hard time getting the screws out with her hands so shaky. She took a deep breath and kept at it.
"I don't think that's legal," MacKenzie said.
"You know what's not legal? Stealing," Ester said.
"We might have to charge your damage deposit when you move out," MacKenzie said.
"I didn't make a damage deposit and I don't rent from you," Ester said, her voice rising. She took the old parts and dropped them into the bag from the hardware store.
Dennis came from the kitchen in time to see her fasten the new doorknob to the door.
"What's going on, E?"
"Your girlfriend steals my stuff," Ester said, closer to tears than she would have preferred.
"Oh come on," Dennis said, his tone light. "There has to be a mistake."
"Is there? Have you seen any frizzy-hair products in your bathroom? Because I can't find mine. Have you enjoyed any Aunt Barbara's soup? Because four cans disappeared from the kitchen. How about that bag from Big Stop Outdoor Store? I had a hundred-and-fifty-dollar gift card from my parents for that store because I need a new coat. The card vanished."
"Those are all common items. If you lost them, it doesn't mean I took them," MacKenzie said.
"Mac, could you let us talk alone for a sec?" Dennis said. He and MacKenzie spoke in low voices before MacKenzie left them alone.
Dennis shrugged. "I don't know what to say. She says she hasn't stolen anything. She has her own money. There's no reason for her to take your stuff."
"Did she recently come up with a yellow cardboard box shaped like a treasure chest with condoms in it?" Ester asked.
A strange look passed over Dennis's face. "Mac?"
"It isn't even full,” MacKenzie said, returning to the hallway. “I've had it forever." She'd been eavesdropping the entire time.
Dennis looked more uncertain.
Ester finished tightening all the screws and then shut the door and tested the key. She shut the bedroom door and handed Dennis the bag with the old parts.
"I have video of her snooping around my room," Ester told him, every word precise. "The video shows her walking out with my condom treasure chest, which was a gift from my friend Rayanne who won it at a bachelorette party. I would show you the clip now but I want to set it to a moody song first."
"She's never liked me," MacKenzie said. "She's making trouble between us so we don't kick her out."
Ester pushed down a fresh burst of rage. An argument with that woman wouldn't accomplish anything.
Dennis stared at MacKenzie with dismay and confusion. Ester didn't envy him. He really liked his girlfriend but the spy cam didn't lie.
Ester unlocked her door and packed a backpack. She had no place to go, but she'd figure it out later. When she went back through the house, MacKenzie sat on the couch, sniffling into a tissue. Dennis wasn't around.
"
Are you getting your boyfriend to beat me up?" MacKenzie folded her trembling hands in her lap.
"Wow, you're sure invested in being the victim," Ester said.
MacKenzie wiped her sleeve across her eyes.
"Let me guess, you're afraid of him because he's brown. Theo doesn't beat-up women. And he's not my boyfriend."
She found Dennis in the backyard, scraping the barbecue grill with a cheap, long-handled tool.
"Sorry," she said.
"Don't be sorry," he said, chipping at the crust. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I had no idea that was going on. She's good to me. I wish—" The scraper's plastic handle snapped, and he threw both pieces across the yard. His shoulders slumped forward and he hung his head. There was nothing to say.
"I'm leaving. I'll be back tomorrow." She walked on the outside of the house so she wouldn't have to see MacKenzie again. She got on her bike and rode away.
29
Theo took the stairs to his apartment two at a time. Since the day he moved in, he told himself he could be out in half a day. The clock was ticking. Once inside, he was distracted by the sight of the unmade bed. It had been a long day and he'd only gotten a few hours of sleep between the time he got home from Frenzy's and the time he had to take off for the moving job. He'd been fighting off a bone-crushing weariness all afternoon.
He needed to rest, except the minute he stopped moving he would think about Ester and the ache in his chest. The boxes from the move-in were broken down and stored behind the dresser. He got them out, then searched for the packing tape.
The words he'd said to her replayed in his head. He couldn't shut them out. He'd run himself into the ground and, when it went wrong, had taken it out on the best thing that ever happened to him. He was alone again.
The meal she saved for him sat heavy in his gut and left a sour taste in his throat. This reminded him of all the worst things he'd done in his life, like dropping out of school or wrecking his mother's car or taking money from her wallet when money was tight. It made him sick to remember how bad he'd been to his mother.
Lovesick Braves Page 19
