by Linde, K. A.
“Wha . . .”
“I don’t know how I can make this clearer to you, Lizzie,” he said, brushing her hair off of her face. “What is going on with you matters to me. What you are feeling—happy, sad, exhausted, emotional, frustrated—it matters to me. I know you’ve been kind of out of it recently, and I know that you know that I’ve noticed. But I’ve let you have your space, because it seemed like that was what you wanted. The very last thing I want is for you to try to tell me that something you are feeling doesn’t matter, that it isn’t important. Because it’s important to me.”
“You’re too good to me, Hayden,” she said.
He smiled at that and kissed the tip of her nose. “Well, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You know that, right?”
She bit her lip and then nodded. She didn’t feel like the best thing that had ever happened to anyone, but she couldn’t argue with him.
“So, what happened?”
Liz shrugged and glanced away. She couldn’t meet his eyes. “Calleigh.”
Hayden blew out his breath quickly. “What did she say?”
“I’d just forgotten that she worked here.”
“Lizzie,” he said, turning her face toward him, “what did she say?”
“She still wants you, Hayden.”
His eyebrows rose. “She said that?”
“Not directly, but she didn’t have to. She started talking to me about your relationship and saying that you just broke up because of the distance.”
“That’s not true!”
“I know,” she said conciliatorily. “She just . . . I don’t know. I worry that she’s going to try something with you . . .”
Hayden laughed and shook his head. “She can try, but she’s not getting anywhere. Not with me. That’s for sure.”
“I know that. I do. She just gets under my skin. It’s like this weird girl competition challenge thing,” Liz said with a shrug.
“Well, I got the job and I’ll be working here. But it’s you I’ll be thinking about every day. It’s you I’m going to be traveling back to Chapel Hill to see. It’s you who makes working this hard worth it.” His lips found hers once more. “Just you.”
She smiled and leaned into the kiss. She wanted to believe him. She did believe him. If he wanted to be with Calleigh, he could. Calleigh was just trying to get to her.
“I was going to do this over dinner,” Hayden said softly, reaching into his coat pocket.
“Do what?” she asked, eyeing him cautiously.
He extracted a small black pouch from his pocket and handed it to her. “Happy birthday, gorgeous.”
Liz tilted her head to the side and eyed him curiously. What the hell had he gotten her? “You didn’t have to get me anything.”
“I wanted to.”
She took the pouch and weighed it in her hand. It was really light. It didn’t actually feel like there was anything in it.
She pulled open the small pouch and tipped it upside down into her cupped hand. A small clear packet dropped out. Liz just stared at what rested inside with a numb realization settling over her.
Charms.
Four tiny charms. A snowflake, tennis racket, the letter L, and a diamond.
She could determine the meaning behind each charm clearly. The snowflake for the first time they had been together during their snow day. The tennis racket and L were all too obvious. And then a diamond for her April birthstone.
“I didn’t get the locket part, because I knew you already had one. You used to wear it all the time. I thought you would start wearing it again if you had new charms,” he said with a big cheesy smile. “It looked good on you.”
She swallowed. Shit. No. This was . . . she couldn’t even . . . she didn’t know what to do. This was too much. Too soon. Brady. No, she didn’t want to think about him, but of course she couldn’t stop. She couldn’t wear Hayden’s charms. He was so thoughtful, but no.
Liz cleared her throat and tried to remember what she was supposed to say when she received gifts. “Thank you,” she managed to get out.
“Lizzie,” he whispered, staring into her unfocused eyes, “I love you.”
Her mind froze on those three words. The three words she had wanted Brady to say to her so badly. The three words that she had told Brady that she knew about in the car a couple weeks ago. Words she had spoken to Brady.
But Hayden?
Clay’s words rang in her ear from the art gallery. But you don’t love him. It hurt to think about. Brady. Clay. Hayden. They all clouded in her vision and she had to remember to speak . . . to say anything in that moment. She just couldn’t say what Hayden wanted to hear.
“I know,” she whispered back.
Chapter 12
TWENTY-FIRST
Liz placed another bobby pin in her uncooperative honey-blond hair. She had been putting her hair up and pulling it down for the last thirty minutes, trying to make it look good enough to go out for her twenty-first birthday. Victoria had told her that a ton of people were meeting them. Liz was already tipsy from the Jell-O shots Victoria had made to pregame with, and she was kind of worried about her liver making it through the night.
The weekend with Hayden had gone by so fast, despite the mess-ups. It was as if every time he did something good and cute and wonderful . . . it reminded her of Brady. And then there was Calleigh. Still, Hayden had tried to end their time in Charlotte as best he could. He had taken them to a little Italian restaurant called Villa Antonio’s that had spectacular food and a warm, inviting atmosphere. Then they had retreated back to the hotel for another night of fun.
What Liz couldn’t understand was how Hayden wasn’t upset at all that she hadn’t told him that she loved him. She just couldn’t seem to get the words out. And as with everything else, he hadn’t pressured her or made her feel bad. He had just smiled and kissed her.
She wondered how long that would be good enough.
With Hayden she just didn’t know. He always surprised her with the depth of his understanding.
At least for now he wasn’t pushing her. In fact, he was playing the designated driver for her and Victoria for the night. He had been planning to go out with them, but Victoria had put her foot down.
“You stole her all weekend!” Victoria said, shaking her head. “I didn’t even get a shot with her at midnight.”
Hayden shrugged and kissed Liz’s forehead. “She’s my girlfriend. I can’t help that I want to spoil her.”
“Spoil her. Steal her. Same thing,” Victoria said. “I’m going to spoil her tonight. And by spoil her . . . I mean steal her.”
Hayden raised his eyebrows. “You’re saying I can’t be with my girlfriend on her birthday?”
Liz rolled her eyes. Oh brother . . . this was going to go downhill quickly.
“I’m saying that you already spent time with you girlfriend for three whole days. I want to spend time with my best friend, and I don’t need some uptight guy cramping my style. This is about Liz and needing some quality girl time. With me! Don’t worry, Lane,” Victoria said, patting his shoulder. “I’ll take real good care of your girl. I’m super responsible.”
“Oh dear Lord, you’re going to end up in jail!”
Liz laughed and shook her head. “Ye of little faith! Vickie doesn’t get caught.”
“Stop calling me that!” she snapped.
They laughed then, but Hayden had eventually agreed to sit this one out. As much as they bantered, Liz didn’t think Hayden actually wanted Victoria to dislike him.
“Are you ready, bitch?” Victoria called from the end of the hall. Liz blew her hair out of her face and shrugged. It wasn’t getting any better than this.
“I love when you dress like a slut,” Liz said when she walked out to see Victoria in a red dress that sheathed her voluptuous frame and mile-high s
piked heels. She was busting out of her top and her already thick makeup was darkened and heavy, with bright red lipstick to match.
“What? This is like every day,” Victoria said with a wink.
“Uh-huh.”
“At least you look fabulous on your birthday.”
“Is that a compliment?” Liz asked, glancing down at her outfit. She had chosen a short lace dress in white with skinny straps that cut down into an eye-catching square neck courtesy of her balconet bra. She knew she had a nice rack, but she didn’t normally show it off. Tonight was not one of those nights. Vibrant blue heels gave her an additional four and a half inches on her frame and accentuated her already toned legs.
“Don’t get used to it.”
Liz laughed just as they heard a knock on the front door. Hayden walked in without waiting for someone to answer, and Liz smiled brighter when she caught a glimpse of him. Clay had told her Hayden loved her over New Year’s, but it was different hearing him say it and knowing that he meant it. Whatever she was feeling . . . while it might not be love . . . it was definitely something strong.
“Ready to go, gorgeous?” he asked, pulling her into his arms and kissing her on the lips.
“All ready.”
“I’m not sure I should let you go out like this alone. You’re going to have people fighting for your attention.”
“You’re ridiculous. No one is going to be fighting for anything except Victoria and the shots she’s going to be buying,” Liz said with a bemused look in Victoria’s direction.
“Yeah, shots. Let’s go so we can have some,” Victoria said, shouldering past Hayden. “And I already told you, Lane. She’ll be fine in my capable hands.”
Hayden glanced over at Liz as Victoria sauntered out the door. “Are you sure I can’t convince you to let me stay?”
“You don’t have to convince me. You have to convince her,” Liz said, pointing at Victoria’s retreating back.
He groaned and nodded. “Come on. There’s no hope for her.”
They all piled into Hayden’s Audi and he drove them the short distance to Franklin Street. They lived only about three streets from where the bar was, but in heels it wasn’t a super fun walk.
Victoria jumped out of the car as soon as Hayden pulled over to let them out. Liz leaned over and kissed Hayden softly on the lips.
“Have a fun time,” he said.
“We will.”
“Call me if you need me.”
“I will.”
“I’ll come pick you up at bar close, all right?” Hayden said, his voice earnest. She could see the worry line forming between his eyebrows; the war going on in his head was written all over his face: he was clearly not comfortable letting her go off with Victoria, but he trusted Liz.
“Sure. Try not to worry,” she whispered, dropping a hand on his sleeve. “We’ll be fine.”
Hayden grabbed the back of her head and pulled her in for one last kiss. “I know you will, but I’ll be here in case you aren’t.”
“Thanks,” she said softly, before popping her door open and moving to leave. “I’ll see you later.”
“About time,” Victoria said, tapping her foot. “Let’s get drunk.”
Liz laughed and followed her friend into the first bar. She couldn’t even remember the last time it had just been the two of them out. Hayden was usually with them, and she didn’t usually drink much when he was around. Before she had started dating Hayden she hadn’t gone out at all. She just hadn’t been into it. The last time might have been when Victoria came back from London last summer. Brady had picked her up that night and they had met his best friend, Chris. That felt so long ago.
It was so long ago.
Victoria strutted straight up to the bar. “Kyle! It’s my best friend’s twenty-first birthday and she needs to get so fucked up that she doesn’t remember anything!” she announced to the bartender loudly enough for anyone else to hear.
Liz groaned. This was going to be a long night.
Kyle looked up at Liz, who took a place next to Victoria. His eyes lowered to her chest and then back up to her face. Liz felt the color rushing to her cheeks, but he just smiled and winked at her. “Shots coming right up.”
That was the beginning of the end.
Liz wasn’t exactly a lightweight. But by the time Massey showed up at the bar, Liz had had enough drinks in that short time frame that whatever concoction she was drinking tasted like fruit punch.
Victoria just laughed at her. “It’s not Kool-Aid, I swear.”
“What is she even drinking?” Massey asked with a giggle as she fluttered her fingers in Kyle’s direction.
“I don’t know.” Victoria shrugged. “Kyle, what is she drinking?”
“Kool-Aid,” Liz answered immediately.
“It’s a 3AM and vodka mixture with cranberry,” he called back to Victoria.
“See, not Kool-Aid.”
Liz thought she shrugged, but her eyes felt heavy and she wasn’t sure what her body actually did. “What’s 3AM?”
“Oh my God, who let you drink this much?” Massey said, covering her mouth and almost shaking with laughter.
“3AM is caffeinated vodka,” Victoria explained.
“Yeah, it’s what the bartenders drink to stay awake,” Massey followed up.
“It tastes like Kool-Aid.”
“No it doesn’t! It tastes like shit!” Massey cried.
“Here, try it. It’s so good,” Liz said, shoving it into Massey’s hand.
“Um no . . . I’m more of a Maker’s Mark kind of girl. You should probably slow down if you want to be coherent. Where is Lane? Shouldn’t he be taking care of you?”
Liz rolled her eyes. “I don’t need anyone to take care of me. I’m totally fine,” she slurred, and hugged the glass back to her chest.
“And the point is that she shouldn’t be coherent on her twenty-first,” Victoria corrected her.
“You know he would freak if he found you like this.”
“He’ll get over it. I’m barely even drunk,” Liz said.
Massey snorted and laughed. “Yeah. Okayyy.”
Liz moved forward and put her drink on the bar. “I’m going to the bathroom. Watch that.”
“One, don’t put your drink down. Someone could roofie it. Two, you shouldn’t go anywhere alone. Hello, have you heard of rape?” Massey asked, rolling her eyes. “I’ll come with.”
“Oh my God, you baby her,” Victoria said, rolling her eyes.
“I’m fine, Massey. Just stay here and keep someone from fucking Victoria!”
Victoria burst out laughing. “Why are we keeping someone from doing that?”
“Because you’re drunk,” Liz said as she started laughing for no reason at all.
“What the fuck have I gotten myself into?” Victoria groaned.
“Come on. Bathroom,” Massey said, directing Liz in the opposite direction. “Watch her drink!”
“Fine!” Victoria said.
Liz stumbled to the back of the bar with Massey assisting her. The more she walked the sicker she felt. She really needed to sit down. Maybe she was a little drunk.
“Please do not throw up,” Massey grumbled when they walked into the bathroom.
“I’m not going to!” Liz replied defensively.
Well . . . she wasn’t going to now.
She fumbled with the door and walked into the bathroom stall. Once she locked the door, she pulled out her cell phone. She had three texts from Hayden.
Liz shrugged and scrolled through them. Be safe. Blah, blah, blah. Same stuff. She would answer him later. Maybe.
That made her giggle.
She clicked over to Facebook and scrolled through her newsfeed, commenting randomly on different statuses. Not anyone she really wanted to talk to. No. The person she
wanted to talk to probably didn’t even have a Facebook. Or at least, he probably only had an official page.
That made Liz laugh again. She had never checked whether Brady had an official page. She had always gone to his website instead. But he had to have one. Only made sense.
She typed his name incorrectly three times into the box before getting it right. There it was. Yep. Nothing interesting. Same as his website. It’s not like he was going to be posting pictures of him and his girlfriend. She rolled her eyes.
Whatever. Girlfriend.
Stupid word.
She could probably still get ahold of him if she wanted. Girlfriend be damned.
Liz searched her phone for the various numbers programmed into it. She didn’t know if the line he had used on campaign for his office was still active, and he changed his work number frequently enough because of people tapping into his line that there was no way that one still worked. Plus, he didn’t take work calls this late.
That left his personal number. The one he reserved strictly for family.
It was amazing that even through her addled mind the details of his personal schedule from the summer came back to her clear as day. She didn’t think she would ever forget that time of her life. Even if it only hit her in moments now.
Liz bit her lip and clicked the number. She started typing out a message before she even had a chance to think about it.
It’s my birthday and I want to cash in my congressional favor.
She giggled and placed her phone back into her purse. After relieving herself she hurried out of the stall.
“Jesus, what took you so long?” Massey asked, typing away on her own phone.
“I think I’m drunk,” Liz said while washing her hands.
“Um . . . yeah.”
The girls walked out of the restroom and back to Victoria, who was standing and talking to Savannah.
“Savannah!” Liz cried, giving her a big hug.
Savannah raised her eyebrows at her. “Um . . . hey. Happy birthday.”
