by Judi Curtin
Mrs Bailey narrowed her eyes. ‘Is this the truth you are telling me, Lily?’
I know lying is wrong, but if I really told the truth, Johanna would be out on the street, and Nellie would likely die of loneliness.
‘Yes, Mrs Bailey,’ I said. ‘That is the honest truth.’
‘I am very, very disappointed in you, Lily,’ she said. ‘I had you down as a good, kind person, and now I see how wrong I was. Doing such a cruel thing to an innocent girl is a terrible thing.’
I blinked hard at how unfair all of this was. I tried not to think of what my life was going to be like from now on. I tried not to wonder how I’d ever manage to get any kind of job without a reference. I held my head high as she continued to speak.
‘I shall have to talk to Mr Kilgallon about this,’ she said. ‘All of you wait here until I return.’
Then she marched from the room.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I turned to Nellie and Johanna, ready for all the bad things they would say, but instead, Johanna came over and put her arms around me.
‘What you are doing is wrong, Lily,’ she said. ‘You can’t leave Lissadell. I know you didn’t steal those things.’
Nellie didn’t say a word as she ran to hug me too. I tried not to cry as those two, beautiful red-haired girls held me close.
‘You didn’t steal either, Johanna,’ I said, pulling away from them. ‘I agree that this is wrong, but if one of us has to leave, it should be me. I’ll go and pack my things now, so I’ll be ready when Mrs Bailey comes back. The walk home is long, and I might as well get started as soon as I can.’
I tried not to cry as I thought of Maeve’s beautiful bicycle. Never again would the village children clap and cheer and treat me like a queen as I cycled to see my mam. From now on I’d be a shame to my family – the girl who was sent home for stealing from the Gore-Booths.
‘You can’t do this,’ said Johanna. ‘I won’t let you.’
‘It’s already done,’ I said. ‘I was always good at making up stories, and Mrs Bailey believes me. Nothing you say will make any difference now.’
‘But––’ Nellie and Johanna said the word together, as I pushed past them.
‘Lily, wait!’ said Isabelle, but I ignored her too and ran from the room.
* * *
I took my schoolbag from under my bed, and filled it with my few clothes, my prayer book and my hairbrush. I looked at my gorgeous doll, Julianne, a Christmas present from Lady Mary. Should I leave that behind me? But then I decided I had done nothing wrong, and I deserved the doll as much as I ever had. So I put her into the bag, along with the half-made velvet dresses for my sisters – now I’d never have a chance to enter them in the home industries show. I looked around. When I first arrived at Lissadell I had cried many tears in that room, but now, in a strange way it almost felt like home. I had made many friends in this place, and had some very happy times. I loved Nellie and Johanna as if they were my very own sisters. I loved spending time with Maeve. I loved seeing Countess Markievicz, and listening to her interesting conversations. My time working in the needlework school had been so special, and now …
I pushed the thoughts away as I tied the strap on the bag and took my coat from the hook behind the door.
‘Goodbye,’ I whispered as I stood in the doorway, saying farewell to the room, and the life I’d had there.
I heard footsteps, and Isabelle appeared.
‘You’re the kindest girl in the world, Lily,’ she said. ‘But you can’t do this. You can’t ruin your own life to save Johanna.’
‘I can and I will. Don’t you see, Isabelle? I have a family to take care of me, and Johanna has only got Nellie. I can’t let them be torn apart again.’
‘But what will happen to you? No one can get a good job without a letter of recommendation.’
‘That’s exactly why I should be the one to leave. I can go home to Mam and live with her again.’
‘But the only reason you left home in the first place was because your family needed the extra money.’
This was true. I wasn’t quite sure how my family would manage without my wages and the food Cook gave me to bring home every Saturday. Maybe I could grow more vegetables in our little garden, or take in washing? Maybe Molly Carty would pay me to clean out her henhouse every now and then?
But I knew it wouldn’t be as easy as that. Now Denis and Jimmy would have to leave school early, just as I did, and the thought of that broke my heart. Mam would go hungry again, sparing the best food for her children. Winnie and Anne would never have any more dresses made from the finest fabric in the land. All my lovely family was going to suffer, because of what I’d just done.
But still I knew I was doing the right thing. Nellie and Johanna had never had any luck until now. All they had was each other, and their jobs at Lissadell, and I wasn’t going to let that be taken away from them.
‘Mam will work something out,’ I said. ‘She brought me up to help others, so she will understand why I’ve done this.’
‘And what about your dream of being a teacher?’
I could feel tears coming to my eyes. This was the hardest thing of all – after being dismissed for stealing, I had no chance of ever becoming a teacher. Who would ever believe in me? Who would ever trust me?
‘That was never going to happen,’ I said. ‘That was only a stupid dream.’
But everyone needs dreams, and I was trampling all over mine.
Dear Isabelle didn’t want to give up. ‘What if something goes missing again?’ she said. ‘What if another stolen treasure ends up in Johanna’s room? Whoever did this hasn’t gone away, and in a few weeks or months time, this could begin all over again – and you’ll have given up your job for nothing.’
‘I’m sure whoever did this will get such a fright, it will never happen again. I think it’s over, Isabelle. When Mrs Bailey tells me to leave, that’s what I’ll do, and you can all get on with your lives. Now step out of my way and go back to the nursery, or you’ll be in trouble too.’
‘Who cares about the nursery,’ she said. ‘I’m staying with you until … oh, Lily, you are so sweet and kind and funny, and I’m going to miss you very much.’
‘Thank you,’ I whispered. ‘I’ll miss you too.’
* * *
Nellie and Johanna were sitting in the dining hall holding hands. Nellie’s eyes were red and puffy, and when she saw me, she began to cry again. Before anyone could say anything, Mrs Bailey came back into the room. She looked at my bag, and the coat over my arm.
‘Are you sticking to the story you told me earlier, Lily?’ she asked.
‘It’s not a story,’ I said quietly. ‘It’s the truth.’
‘Then you know I have no choice but to let you go. You must leave Lissadell immediately.’
I tried to be brave as I took a step towards the door.
‘None of this is fair, Mrs Bailey!’ cried Nellie. ‘Don’t make Lily leave. Please let her stay.’
‘Are you saying Lily wasn’t telling the truth?’ I could see that Mrs Bailey was losing patience. ‘Are you saying she isn’t the thief?’
Nellie looked from me to Johanna with a pained look on her face. She couldn’t save both of us, but how could she possibly choose?
And then the door opened once more and little Bridget ran in, with Maeve a few steps behind her.
Bridget toddled over to Johanna with a huge smile on her face. ‘JoJo,’ she said. ‘JoJo, I look for you. I look all the places for you.’
Johanna knelt down and hugged the child. ‘I’m here, Bridget,’ she said. ‘You’ve found me now.’
Miss Bailey didn’t look happy at this turn of events. ‘What are you thinking, Miss Maeve?’ she said. ‘The child has no place down here. Please take her back to the nursery – or perhaps Isabelle, you could––’
But Maeve interrupted. ‘What’s going on, Lily?’ she said. ‘I know this isn’t your day off, so why have you got your coat? Why a
re you carrying that bag? Where are you going?’
For one beautiful moment I thought Maeve could save me, but then I realised that saving me would ruin Johanna. If Maeve said I wasn’t a thief, Mrs Bailey would believe her, but then …
‘I … I …’ I began a few times, but couldn’t finish.
‘None of this need concern you, Miss Maeve,’ said Mrs Bailey. ‘This is a matter for me and the servants. Please do as I asked and take little Bridget with you and go back upstairs.’
Now Maeve gave a huge smile, which made no sense to me at all. ‘Of course, I’ll take Bridget upstairs,’ she said. ‘But first, there’s something I think you should see. There’s something …’
‘Come, JoJo, come,’ said Bridget loudly, trying to pull Johanna towards the door.
‘This is turning into a circus,’ said Mrs Bailey. ‘And I won’t have it. Please, Maeve!’
‘Go with her, Johanna,’ said Maeve, ignoring Mrs Bailey. ‘And maybe everyone should see where they are going.’
So Johanna let Bridget pull her out of the room and along the corridor, with everyone else following along in a strange procession. At the door to Johanna’s bedroom, Bridget stood on tippy-toes and turned the door-knob. Then she pulled Johanna inside, with the rest of us squashing in behind them. Bridget knelt down and pulled Johanna’s biscuit tin from under the bed. She held it towards Johanna, with a huge smile on her face.
‘Surprise!’ she sang. ‘Bridget get surprise for JoJo.’
Johanna took the box from the child’s hands, and held it away from her body, as if it were a bomb that could explode at any second. Then she lay it on the bed and opened the lid. Everyone leaned forward and for a long minute the room was silent. Inside the box was a bible, an old pipe … and Lady Mary’s pearls.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Bridget’s smile slowly faded as she looked at all the faces gathered around her. She must have been disappointed with our reaction.
She took the pearls from the box and held them towards Johanna.
‘Surprise!’ she said again, but a little uncertainly this time. ‘Bridget get present for JoJo.’
Now everyone spoke at once.
‘Does that mean …?’
‘Who would have thought …?’
‘So none of the servants …’
‘Silence,’ said Mrs Bailey. Her voice was quiet, but still everyone managed to hear her. She stooped down so her face was level with Bridget’s.
‘Did you put these pearls here?’
Bridget nodded happily.
‘And where did you get them?’
‘Mama’s bedroom.’
‘And why did you take Mama’s pearls and give them to Johanna?’
The child looked around, as if the answer was easy. ‘Mama has all nice things and JoJo has none,’ she said.
I looked around the room, with its plain walls and bare floorboards and faded cotton curtains and wondered again at how unfair the world was. Even a tiny child like Bridget could see the difference between this simple place, and her mother’s room, with its rugs and paintings and ornaments and satin cushions and velvet curtains.
‘Bridget,’ said Mrs Bailey. ‘Did you get more surprises for Johanna before this?’
‘Yes,’ said Bridget, wrinkling her little face as she thought. ‘I got her … I got her a pretty locket … and a shiny comb from Dada’s room.’
Johanna picked her up and hugged her tight. ‘You sweet little girl,’ she said. ‘You were trying to be kind to me. How could you understand all the trouble you have caused?’
‘Trouble?’ said Bridget, looking worried.
‘No,’ said Mrs Bailey. ‘You’re not in trouble, but from now on, no more bringing surprises for Johanna, all right?’
The little girl nodded.
‘Will I tell you what happened?’ said Maeve, and without waiting for us to answer, she continued. ‘I was coming downstairs to say goodbye to Johanna, and to say sorry that I couldn’t … well you all know about that, and I saw Bridget on the back stairs, and I couldn’t quite see what was in her hand, but she looked very secretive, so I decided to follow her, and I watched as she went into Johanna’s room, and put something into the biscuit box, and suddenly I knew for sure how the other things got there, so I told Bridget that Johanna was in the dining hall … and you know the rest.’
‘Isabelle, Isabelle! Where are you? Nurse is fit to kill you. The boys won’t stop fighting and we can’t find Bridget!’
It was the other children’s maid, and she stopped suddenly when she saw the gathering in Johanna’s bedroom.
‘What’s going on?’ she asked. ‘Why are you all here?’
‘This has nothing to do with you,’ said Mrs Bailey sharply. ‘Isabelle, take the child and go upstairs at once. Maeve, please return the pearls to Lady Mary’s room. Nellie, get a move on – do you think the bedrooms are going to clean themselves?’
Everyone hurried off. Mrs Bailey sat on the bed and put her head in her hands. Johanna and I looked at each other. What did this mean? Mrs Bailey was always strong, and in charge, so why did she now seem so old and so weak?
When Mrs Bailey finally looked up, I could see tears in her eyes. ‘Girls,’ she said. ‘I hardly know what to say. I was doing my best to be a good, loyal housekeeper to the Gore-Booths, and I made a mistake. I nearly did a terrible, terrible thing. I am deeply ashamed. Could I ask you both to accept my humblest apologies?’
I didn’t know how to answer her. She was right. She had made a very big mistake. She didn’t believe Johanna when she was telling the truth, but she did believe me when I was telling a lie.
But was it fair to blame Mrs Bailey?
What would I have done in her place?
If I hadn’t known Johanna so well, I might have suspected her too.
While I was still working it all out in my head, Johanna spoke.
‘That’s all right, Mrs Bailey,’ she said. ‘I understand how this all happened, and I am grateful for your apology.’
‘Thank you, dear,’ said Mrs Bailey. ‘How can I make it up to you both?’
My head filled with possibilities. Could we ask for a present? Extra pay? How wonderful it would be to have a few days off to spend with my family.
But then Johanna showed that she was a much better person than me.
‘There is no need for anything,’ she said. ‘Everyone makes mistakes.’
Now Mrs Bailey looked as if she wanted to hug her. ‘That is very gracious of you, Johanna,’ she said. ‘But at the very least, I insist that you both join me in my sitting room for hot milk and a cake.’
* * *
I had only ever been in Mrs Bailey’s sitting room when it needed cleaning, so it was very strange to sit on one of her armchairs with Johanna. It was very strange to be served by Mrs Bailey, watching as she stirred sugar into our milk, and handed us a plate of Cook’s finest rhubarb tart with thick cream on top. It was very strange trying to make small talk about the weather, and how unusually cold it had been lately. It was very, very awkward.
In the end, I was happy when Johanna drank the last of her milk, and got to her feet.
‘That was nice, Mrs Bailey,’ she said. ‘But now I need to get back to work on Lady Mary’s wardrobes.’
I jumped up too. Suddenly cleaning bedrooms with Nellie seemed like a wonderful thing to do.
‘Thank you girls,’ said Mrs Bailey. ‘Thank you both very much.’
* * *
After that, Mrs Bailey was extra-kind to Johanna and me. Sometimes when I made a stupid mistake she was cross with me, but it was a gentle kind of crossness, as if she were giving out to a little child, or a puppy.
But in all the time I knew her, she never mentioned the incident again.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
When Saturday came around, I cycled home as usual. It was early when I got there, and the street was quiet. In our little front garden, Mam was on her knees, planting flowers.
‘Growing ve
getables is important,’ she always said. ‘But having something pretty to look at is good for the soul.’
I wanted to ring the bicycle bell, announcing my arrival, but I hesitated for a moment. I watched Mam’s reddened fingers making holes in the damp soil, and settling each plant in carefully. When she finished her work, she sat back on her heels, and gave a big happy sigh, and I was filled with love for her. Mam’s skin was rough, and her hair was messy. Her dress was so faded and patched it was hard to tell what colour it used to be. Still, to me, that woman kneeling in the dirt was worth a million of those fine ladies in Lissadell.
As I watched her, I dreamed of being a little girl again, living in that house where life was simple and Mam could make everything right.
‘Mam,’ I said. ‘I’m here. I’m home.’
‘Darling girl,’ she said, as she stood up and wiped her muddy hands on her apron.
‘I’ve missed you,’ I said, throwing myself into her arms.
‘And I’ve missed your smiling face too,’ she said. ‘How I wish I could see it every single day.’
‘Oh, Mam,’ I said. ‘That nearly happened. Something very bad …’
And then I started to cry.
‘Sweet child,’ said Mam. ‘Sit down here on the bench with me and tell me everything.’
* * *
Mam didn’t interrupt while I told my story, though a few times I saw the wrinkle on her forehead become deeper, and she twisted her hands together the way she always did when something made her worry. After a while, I saw that her eyes were watery, though I couldn’t tell if that was from the cold wind. When I was finished talking, there was a long silence, and I began to worry. Had I been wrong in thinking she would understand?
