by H. Dacanay
So over the next few days, I had to come up with different alibis to evade lunch with Leo. But I also kind of knew that he’s not dumb to not sense that I was avoiding him. Which was why he also stopped trying to bother me.
Funny thing was that made me kind of miserable. Perhaps because even if I have decided to stay away from him, I held on to this tiny shimmer of hope that maybe I was wrong to think that he was the same three guys that I dated in the past. That he will prove me wrong.
But then I guess I was right.
He was the same after all.
And now there goes the tiny shimmer of hope, fluttering away into space, blinking slowly to its death until it’s all gone.
The sound of my phone suddenly reverberated in my office, and for a moment, I got an escape from all the exhausting Leo thoughts.
“Hello?”
Next thing I knew, I was rushing out of my office and heading to St. Francis Hospital.
***
I was thinking all sorts of dreadful things what my mom’s older sister could be doing at the hospital. And as much as I wanted to stay positive, I couldn’t help but get anxious.
I lost mom years ago, and I don’t think I could lose another mother figure especially that I have only spent such a short time with Aunt Celine.
When I reached her room, however, and found what her state really was, I was relieved.
Not that having a fracture is any good either, but that’s way better than the horrible thoughts I had earlier before arriving at the hospital.
“What happened?” I asked as soon as the young male nurse left, who Aunt Celine shamelessly tried to flirt with.
She gave me a foxy smile. “What did you think just happened? I was trying to get his number.”
“You dirty old slut, I wasn’t talking about that.” I settled on the side of her bed. “How did you get a fracture?”
“Dance class.”
My eyes went big at this revelation. “What? You’re in a dance class?”
How could I not know this? And how exactly do you get a fracture from dancing?
“Yeah, today was my first day actually. And this happened,” she gestured to her left leg which was currently supported by two pieces of wood on each side and held together by a bandage.
She didn’t seem distraught though. But I guess that’s her personality. She’s a happy camper and optimistic. She likes adventure. For her probably, getting injured is an adventure. I don’t know how that might be, but that’s Aunt Celine for y’all.
“What did the doctor say?”
“Well, they’re keeping me for another day,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I insisted though on going home already, but after seeing my nurse,” she fanned herself like she was hot, smiling in an impish way, “I agreed to stay. Should I ask the doctor to let me stay for a week, maybe? You know, just to make sure I’m really alright?”
I turned up a disgusted look. But I decided not to make any comments about it.
I pulled up my phone. “I’m going to call the office and tell I won’t be able to come in tomorrow.”
“No, no, no. I’m fine, I swear.”
I stared at Aunt Celine in disbelief.
“No,” I said. Then I went back to my phone, sending my boss’s secretary a message. “I want to stay with you. If you need to pee, who will bring you to the toilet? Do you want to pee on one of those potty pans that the other patients had already used?”
Aunt Celine’s nose scrunched, clearly grossed out. “Well, at least go home first and change into more comfortable clothing.”
“Right.” I slid my cell phone back in my bag. “Okay. I’ll see you later, okay?”
I kissed her on the forehead before walking to the door. But prior to ultimately leaving, I said, “Can you try to behave around the nurse?”
She only smiled like a devil, and that’s when I knew that I must return as soon as possible.
Chapter 6
Going back to the hospital quickly turned out to be a little complicated than I thought.
Because just when I finished eating and changing from my work clothes to something casual and cozy, I happened to get a visitor. Leo was the last thing in my mind at the moment, so imagine my surprise when I found it was him.
It was like in the movies. When they exaggerate a scene where the girl sees the guy and realizes for the first time her attraction to him.
And it was like that for me tonight with Leo. He was enveloped in this ethereal glow and everything about him was on point. Something so hard hit my chest I couldn’t breathe.
“Can we talk?” he begged, and I smelled a stench of alcohol in his breath.
He didn’t appear to be drunk though. But maybe he did have a beer. Maybe in preparation for this. To muster some courage to talk about whatever he needed to talk with me.
“Sure,” I said, letting him in.
I didn’t mention Aunt Celine being in the hospital. Knowing that her case wasn’t serious, there wasn’t any need to rush anything, and no need to bother Leo about it.
Neither of us sat down. And neither of us started to speak yet. But my own silence was reasonable given that he was the one who came up here and wanted to talk.
In a way though, I was glad that he made an appearance. Every day I longed for him. And seeing him now just made it stronger. I wanted to wrap him in my arms. To feel him.
But with everything I can, I held myself off.
Off course it wasn’t easy. Especially with the sadness and hurt bursting from his eyes, I felt the urge to run to him. To ease those out. To make him happy.
Finally, he broke his silence. “I stopped bothering you because I thought you needed space. From what, I don’t know. But I can’t take it anymore. What did I do wrong?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but Leo interrupted me.
“Coz from what I remembered last time we saw each other, you hugged me. You said you missed me. And I felt something.” He took a deep breath, almost in the brink of breaking down. “I felt something, Amber, and it was the happiest moment of my life. I would literally give anything just to have that again. So now I wanna know what happened after that made you feel like you needed to avoid me.”
I crossed my arms on my chest, keeping my feet pinned on the floor. “Because I got scared.”
“From what?” He walked closer, but not near enough to reach me with his hand.
“From liking you.” I hugged myself tighter. “Because I don’t know if you’re worth it. I don’t know if I’m making the same mistake all over again. And you can’t blame me. You’ve hurt me before. You’ve made me this person who’s so scared to love and trust and be happy because I don’t know if I deserve it or not. And I always think that I don’t.”
Two things I didn’t realize from that speech was that I was already crying and Leo was now standing in front of me.
His hands found their way to my face, wiping my tears away. His eyes were glassy. It’s as if he was also about to crash into tears.
“I didn’t mean to turn you into that person, Amber,” he said. “I’m so sorry. I hope you know that why I’m here, it is not my intention to hurt you. It had never been my intention even back then. And I know you don’t believe me when I say that, but it’s the truth.” He paused to bring his hands down, slotting them in the pocket of his jeans. “After high school and realized that my lousy effort to win you is not going anywhere, I thought I’d just forget you. And I did. Or at least I thought I did. When I accidentally met your aunt and she showed me your picture, everything came back to me. The way you looked at me that night I got beat up…Your effort to stay with me and protect me…The way I felt about you…It was as if I didn’t forget them at all. It was like I just repressed them, maybe hoping one day that I meet you again…and then try to win you all over again.”
He brought one hand out and took mine. “I’m not the jerk that you knew in high school anymore, Amber. And if you’d give me a chance, I’d like to prove that. A
s well as that I’m not any of your ex-boyfriends.”
I sniffed, and then coughed, losing the cobwebs that formed in my throat.
And then something I found weird happened—I smiled. I didn’t know exactly why, but at that moment, I guess it was the combination of the things he said, that I actually already believed him, and that everything that took place just made me all in all happy.
Leo’s face broke into a smile as well. “What does that mean?”
He was pertaining to my happy face.
“It means you have to let go of my hand because you don’t have the right.”
Of course I was just joking. Leo’s hand felt immeasurably good against mine.
Good thing he didn’t listen and he didn’t let go. Moreover, he pulled me to his chest and wrapped his arms around my waist, his face way too close for a kiss.
I was surprised but I didn’t fight to get away from his hold either. The feel of his body brought comfort and I liked that.
“Are you really giving me a chance?” he asked in a seductive whisper, smile wider. It’s like he already knew the answer but had to be sure.
“Do I really have a choice?”
His shoulders shrugged. “Well, no. Coz I’m not giving up anyway.” Then he slowly brought his mouth closer to mine. “So can I kiss you now?”
“Do I have a choice?”
He didn’t reply. The jerk went ahead and kissed me. And I couldn’t say I wasn’t happy that he did.
Chapter 7
“I cannot believe this is really happening.”
It was Aunt Celine, voicing that statement out for what seemed to be like the 97th time.
Clearly, I was exaggerating, but it did feel that many.
After I told her at the hospital last night about Leo and I, she was incredulous, absolutely skeptical. I couldn’t blame her. But now that I brought her home, and Leo coming over a few hours later, seeing proof from the way he longingly kissed me, she had simply become a believer.
And she was extremely happy and thrilled she started to mention a wedding. My face instantly turned beet red at that and before she got further into it, I forcefully led Leo out of the house.
For a moment I debated on whether I should apologize. It’s embarrassing for Aunt Celine to blurt out ‘wedding’ like that when this relationship was only a day old. Not that I don’t see the prospect of it happening, but it’s just way too soon.
In the end I decided not to. It would be like opening that subject up for discussion and it’s the last thing I wanted to talk about at the moment.
“But I just got here,” Leo suddenly complained.
Realizing that as well, I smiled like an idiot. “Right.”
“I haven’t even been here for like 5 minutes.”
“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just that with Aunt Celine injured and acting loony from the pain killers, I can’t deal with you right now.”
Leo was sweet enough to take my reasoning. “You know you will have to make up for this, right?”
I grew nervous. “Uhm…yeah.”
Then he cupped my face and rained tender kisses on my mouth. It was an enchanting experience I almost cried when he was done.
“I can’t believe I have so much freedom to do that now,” he said, awfully pleased. “The fact that I can even stand this close to you still amazes me.”
I playfully hit him on his chest. “Oh, stop. You know you’re too good-looking for someone like me.”
His pleased expression vanished. At first it baffled me, and then I replayed what I said in my head, realizing soon after the impression that it left on him.
“It’s the truth though,” I followed up defensively.
“It doesn’t matter. I want you to stop thinking that you don’t deserve me. You have no idea how happy you made me when you gave me a chance to prove you wrong. And how happy I am right now just being able to be this near to you…and call you mine.”
I didn’t fight the blush that consumed my cheeks, as well as the smile on my lips. No point in hiding my feelings now. He should, at least in the way I react to him physically, know that as early as tonight, he was already proving me wrong. And making me happy the same way he claimed I was with him.
“Okay, I promise.”
And then he released me and took a step back, snatching my hand. “I’m leaving or I’m not going to. You take care of your aunt well, okay?”
“I will.”
“Will you think of me when you go to sleep?”
“I will.”
“Me too.” He smiled devilishly. “Both in sweet and dirty ways.”
The way he emphasized ‘dirty’ was palpable, and I wished he didn’t do that. Now, I regret having him leave.
He kissed me one last time and let my hand go before he started his march to his car.
“Leo,” I called when he made it halfway. He quickly turned around. “Will you call me later? I’m curious about these sweet and dirty thoughts you will have of me.”
There was no missing the expression that emerged on his face. There was shock and delight and excitement.
But he warned, “If you’re fooling me, I will not forgive you for it.”
I laughed. “I’m not. I’m really curious.”
“Then you make sure your phone is fully charged because the sweet and dirty thoughts are already starting right now, and they might keep you up later.”
It was my turn to be shocked and delighted and excited.
“If you’re fooling me, I will not forgive you for it,” I said.
“I don’t fool around, angel. When I say I’m having dirty thoughts of you right now, I am.”
I noticed he didn’t include the word ‘sweet’ anymore. He meant serious business.
“Oh, for goodness’ sake, just get back here and stay!”
~*~
