Blaze flew off his tattoo and perched next to the vase. What?
"It's a shrine to the goddess of all magical people." When he cocked his head at me, I thought he didn't understand. "A goddess is…" I paused. This was too complicated. "The bell reminds us how beautiful magic is, how lucky we are to have this power."
You have me.
"The bell belongs to the Mother of Mercy. She blesses those who ask for help. I don't believe in her. Yet."
Ask.
I should take time to figure out how Xara and Zeke measured up as suspects. And what was the significance of Cullen's demands to see Hailey? Get my thoughts focused by using the power of the Mother of Mercy. Nobody except Carlotta and Blaze observed, so I didn't feel too self-conscious as I held out my hands to the bell and asked for help to center myself. Warmth inched up along my arms, which was pleasant, but I didn't know if it came from the Mother of Mercy or if I'd activated a spell myself. I believed in magic. That was all I could be sure of right now.
* * *
Hailey sent a message to meet with her for my next session. Good, a chance to investigate what was behind Cullen's insistence on seeing her.
I found Hailey in an unoccupied corner at the rear of the women's sleeping room. Red sleeping bags, rolled up and stacked, had replaced the antique cots. Piles of clothes and personal care items spilled out onto the shelves under the wall of windows. The room exuded a faint sweet smell, like the face powder my mother used to dab onto her shiny nose.
In the front of the room, Kai led a session that included Ira and Adrian. I felt relieved that Adrian seemed to have recovered from the Cullen invasion since she was practicing an illumine spell on a candle. Also, I would've been nervous about getting together with Hailey alone. Kai's class, plus the ghosts observing from the pictures, meant I had some protection.
Hailey's blonde hair fell in graceful curves, and her makeup delicately accented her features. Up close I did notice fine lines radiating from her eyes and lips. Her gaze fixed on me gently. "First tell me how you feel about possibly having a healing talent?"
I'd let Blaze come off his tattoo since I might want him to partner up with me on healing spells. Blaze was pretty observant and could alert me to danger if he sensed something wrong coming from Hailey. He perched on my shoulder and cocked his head, awaiting my reply. "I have mixed feelings. I'd like to help people, but healer training might make my stay at the ranch longer. I'm eager to get back to my job as a lawyer."
She patted my hand. "Here's the good news. How much healer training you get is up to you. The basic spell is one that sends warmth and comfort. Most young wizards and witches master it easily in their apprentice training. It won't drag out your stay at the ranch."
I was already informally doing a similar spell, so that sounded like an easy path. "And the bad news?"
"Not so much bad news as something to think about. If you at any time want more training, you just have to find a Master Wizard willing to take you on. Advanced Healers all have individual specialties. Mine is to give someone peace by drawing out their anger, their fear, their inner demon."
"My gut reaction is to go with the basic training and consider specialized lessons later." Disappointed in you, Blaze interjected in my head. "I know it's the easy way out, but I have to start making progress here."
Hailey reached into her leather purse and withdrew a wand of blond wood about one foot long. Its end widened to form a human hand, clenched into a claw.
My jaw dropped at the weird sight. "I've never seen a wand like that before." The thought that Hailey could use it against me made me nervous. I wished I could send a mental message to Blaze to watch it. As if he had heard me, Blaze fixed his gaze on the wand.
Frown lines creased Hailey's forehead. "The end of my wand is normally very traditional, a star. But lately I've been working with residents and staff traumatized by events here at the ranch. The pouring out of their emotions has been so intense that my wand and I have been affected."
"Oh." I didn't see how she could last as a counselor if she let her clients' problems get to her. "You mean their bad emotions infected you?"
"Their emotions aren't bad. It's me. My objectivity has faltered. I've let myself be wounded."
"I appreciate your sharing." Actually, I wasn't used to a counselor showing me her vulnerable side. "But what are we doing today?"
"I'll work with you on the basic healer spell and assess your talent."
If Hailey was wounded, I doubted her ability to do much for me. The good part was that in a weakened state she'd have trouble doing a spell against me. I'd go ahead and start working with her so that I could weave in some questions to draw her out about Cullen. "Good. Do we start with meditation to focus our thoughts?"
Hailey sat cross-legged on the floor with the wand at her side. "Tell me when you feel centered and ready."
I settled down opposite her with Blaze perched on my knee. Favorite place, he suggested. I pictured the high plains of New Mexico, the setting sun sending out long shadows and turning the cliffs red. Chili, adobe churches, turquoise jewelry, Cullen screaming—
"I can't concentrate." Hailey's mellow voice sharpened.
"I can't either," I admitted. "The scene I just finished with Cullen is bothering me."
"Marco hasn't given me a detailed report yet. I know he enmeshed Cullen."
Didn't she care? Why had she dumped the responsibility on Jake and Wyatt? I'd give her a chance to justify her behavior. "Why didn't you handle the Cullen problem?"
"Jake and Wyatt understood. I was drained, especially from my work with Dawn."
It was her job to deal with trauma. "You were drained?" At the sound of my higher-pitched tone, Blaze hopped up and down on my knee. "Okay, I was right there with you when Linc shot himself. I had to watch Cullen be enmeshed. You're supposed to be the director. And now you want to teach me healing when you can't fix yourself."
She bit her lip, probably vexed I dared to criticize her. "Petra, I'm sorry we haven't dealt with your issues. You do need a healing spell—"
"Who doesn't? More than a healing spell, I need some answers. Why did Cullen call out for you so insistently just now?"
Hailey looked at me in dismay. "What exactly did Cullen say?"
"He said he needed you. That you would fulfill him perfectly. Marco, Loki, and I heard. So soon everyone will know Cullen has strong feelings about you."
She slumped, her hair veiling her face. "I always knew my relationship with Cullen would come out."
What relationship? "Cullen is eager to talk about you," I told her. "So far, he hasn't revealed any details. It's not like he said you were sleeping together." That was crude, but she surprised me with her admission.
"Cullen and I agreed to keep our relationship secret."
"I'd say death cancels that contract." I had to ask Cullen about his secrecy fixation.
She went on as if I hadn't spoken. "I'd never before had a romantic relationship with a REM attendee. As soon as I realized how I felt, I didn't go any further with him. I had to decide what to do."
"And what did you decide?"
"I was going to break it off with Cullen. My relationship with him was a mistake."
A mistake? I saw it as a disaster. "What made you see it was a mistake?"
"Someone," she said, "urged me to do the right thing."
"Somebody guessed what was going on between you and Cullen?"
"Yes." She pressed her hand to her breast, keeping in her secret. "I'm not ready to tell you who guessed. I want to let him know before I bring his name in."
This mystery adviser sounded like an important player. His motive for butting in could be significant if he were jealous of Cullen. What if he and Hailey had been plotting together against Cullen? I checked out Kai's class to see if anyone was keeping an eye on me. Ira watched me while his hands created paper flowers. I wanted this session with Hailey to finish because I didn't feel at ease with her, but I need more information. "Okay,
we need to know what was going in Cullen's life before he died. Your relationship with him is important. Don't you see you ought to make a full disclosure?"
"Of course I do." She nodded, as if reassuring herself. "I will talk to that person right away." She took a deep breath and steadied herself. "I give you permission to tell everybody about Cullen and me, that I was very attracted to him, but we weren't actually lovers. I need to face up to the mess I got into with him."
I doubted that I knew the whole truth, except that Cullen seemed to be the Typhoid Mary of relationships, leaving disaster behind him. Cynically, I speculated she feared that Cullen's recent remarks about her would lead to gossip about their relationship. She wanted to get in her side of the story first. "As I see it, you were attracted to Cullen, you didn't want anyone to know, and you were about to break up with him?"
"Cullen was ten years younger than me." She picked up her wand and rubbed the claw end. "I don't think the star will return until I repair this mess. This deformity comes out of the turmoil of my emotions, not other persons'."
I could just hear the gossip once Hailey's relationship with Cullen came out. She'd be criticized for a romantic involvement with a REM participant. I wasn't familiar with the ethical rules governing counselors, but I was pretty sure they weren't supposed to date their clients.
It was hard to reconcile the Cullen affair muddle with the high opinion Wyatt, Dawn, and Adrian held of Hailey. As a healer, I'd expected her to have a warm, comforting aura. Instead, the misshapen wand made me wary of her, for it expressed ugly emotions. It was good that she realized her relationship with Cullen was a mistake, but what an ill-starred romance. "I want to clear one thing up. Did Cullen know you wanted to break up?"
She shifted uneasily. "I tried to bring it up with him, but he got very upset. I backed off when he escalated and talked about getting back at me. He died before I could approach him again."
"What was Cullen going to do to get back at you?"
She bit her lip and looked away, thinking what to say. "I don't know for sure."
"Can you guess?" I wanted to know if he'd threatened her. When she tightened her jaw and shook her head, I thought she was holding something back. "It's important to know his mental state before he died. What did he say he'd do?"
"Nothing, nothing," she insisted.
"So when you tried to talk to him about breaking up, that was the last time you talked to him?"
Fat tears trickled down her cheek. "I never had a chance to work things out with him."
I wondered how really sorry she was that he'd died. She'd been trying to break up with him. She wouldn't want to admit it, but his death released her from a mess. However, she might regret that he'd died before they processed their issues. "Talk about a difficult situation."
She straightened and wiped at her tears. "I was supposed to be helping you with your healing talent. We've gone off course."
"Right," I agreed. "Continuing with a healing spell doesn't seem right."
She looked at me intently. "Do you suspect me of harming Cullen?"
I'd be honest with her. Even though she was holding that deformed wand, I didn't think she'd whack me with it in full view of Kai's class. And, Kai was walking over to us carrying her bright blue staff, so she could defend me. I looked into Hailey's violet eyes. "Yes, you are a suspect. You were involved in a tricky relationship with Cullen and trying to break it off. Who knows what happened?"
As Kai reached us, Hailey blurted, "I knew I'd have to defend myself from suspicion, but hearing you accuse me so bluntly hurts."
Kai patted Hailey on the shoulder. "I'm sending my class off to lunch."
Hailey nodded. "Petra, you go to lunch. I have some business to take care of."
I bolted and caught up with the last of Kai's class heading out. Hailey's talk about her relationship with Cullen made me realize I had things pretty good with Ira. I wondered if I should've been evasive when Hailey asked if she was a suspect. I'd definitely put her on the defensive. No, she was expecting to be accused.
I was glad to see Ira waited for me in the hallway. I took his hand. "I need to work on subtlety."
* * *
I studied with appreciation the taco bar set up by the caterers. It was loaded with chicken, beef, and bean fillings, plus lettuce, tomatoes, cheeses, olives, onions, and red and green salsas. Food didn't accuse me of being a murderer, talk back, or lie. Spicy, savory Mexican cuisine would clear my senses and brain and help me put the morning in perspective. After I loaded my plate with hamburger and chicken tacos and fruit salad, I joined Adrian, who'd been waving vigorously at me.
"Staff told us what happened to Cullen." Adrian had the filling for a bean taco but no tortilla. She looked her normal robust self.
"It got very intense," I admitted. Recalling the scene with Cullen made me feel guilty. I'd let it happen too fast and hadn't done enough to help him.
"You should've prevented him from being enmeshed in the mask," Adrian said. "I was his victim. Nobody asked me what I wanted. He should've been given another chance. I know what it is to lose control and act impulsively."
The salsa made my eyes water and my nose run, but I enjoyed the burn. Adrian's criticism also burned me, but not in a pleasurable way. "Enmeshing was the alternative to them obliterating him. I wish I'd thought of asking Marco for your input. My goal was to save Cullen's presence as a ghost. At least I accomplished that."
Adrian mashed her mix of beans, cheese, tomatoes, and lettuce to a pulp. "I suppose you did your best. From my own experience I know Master Wizards act with lightning speed."
Ira and Trevor joined us. Trevor had stacked tortillas and filling four inches high. Ira's four tacos were neatly rolled.
"What lightning speed?" Ira squeezed my thigh, which made me smile.
"Adrian," I said, "had questions about Cullen's enmeshing."
Ira spread sour cream and salsa onto his tacos. "If Cullen had been allowed his freedom, he likely would've done something dumb and earned instant annihilation."
"You don't know that," Adrian retorted.
Trevor swallowed a big bite of his stack. "You're very forgiving, considering what he did to you."
"Wyatt helped me calm down," explained Adrian. "And Kai showed me that those who wrong us need compassion. Anyway, it's done." She pointed her fork at me. "What happened with you and Hailey? Where is she?"
"She had something to do." Now for the big reveal. "Hailey is disclosing she had a romantic relationship with Cullen."
"That can't be true." Adrian white-knuckled her water glass. "Hailey would never be so unprofessional as to get involved with a REM participant." She scowled at me. "And why are you spreading gossip about her?"
"When Hailey heard Cullen was demanding to see her, she decided to come clean about their relationship. She wanted me to start letting people know."
"I can't believe it," Adrian insisted.
"I suppose it could be true." Trevor prodded the innards of his tortilla stack. "I heard Hailey tell someone she hadn't dated for over a year. Too busy with work. She needed a relationship."
"Isn't it unethical for a counselor to date a client?" asked Ira.
"We're way beyond that issue—that's her problem as a professional," I pointed out. "The real thing to focus on is that she's a serious suspect in Cullen's murder and therefore Linc's."
"What?" squawked Adrian. "That's crazy. She's a gentle soul."
I knew differently. Hailey's emotions—anger, frustration—had erupted into the claw at the end of the wand. "I know she's been a resource for you. But she got herself romantically involved with a client and realized it was a mistake. If Cullen didn't want to break up, it could've gotten ugly."
Adrian pushed her plate away, almost knocking over my iced tea. "If we're talking about suspects with motives, what about Jake? Why not bring his name up?"
I held on protectively to my drink. "Jake has always been a suspect. Hailey is a recent addition to the list."
"What about Xara and Zeke?" asked Trevor. "They're both mad at Cullen."
I had to correct his logic. "When they first burst out with the news of their relationships with Cullen, I was so caught up in their emotion that I didn't stop to analyze their evidence. Now I've had time to think about it. As far as I can tell, they didn't get mad until after he died when they found out they didn't have exclusive relationships with him. If any of you have training with them this afternoon, see if you can make sure they were happy with him while he was alive. I'm going to tackle Cullen after lunch, assuming he's ready to talk, for his side of the story." I paused to make sure I had their attention. "There's one other person who may have a motive. Hailey told me someone warned her not to get involved with Cullen. That helpful friend may have been jealous. She didn't give me the person's name. She wants to talk to whoever it is first. Any theories on who it is?"
Trevor sprinkled hot sauce on his side of beans. "I saw Wyatt go into the women's dorm when Kai left."
I looked up at Hailey and Wyatt, who had just entered and were scanning the taco bar. Their body language was relaxed and didn't tell me if they were friends, lovers, or simply colleagues. "I have to find out if Wyatt is the friend who warned Hailey against Cullen. I'm going to ask her right now."
I darted over to the taco bar. "Can I talk to you, Hailey?"
She nodded at Wyatt. "I can guess what you want. Wyatt is the friend who helped me see that I should break off with Cullen."
Wyatt faced me. "I risked my friendship with Hailey by butting in. I believe I did the right thing." He poured a scoop of the hottest salsa on his taco. He liked to live dangerously.
My cell buzzed. A message from Marco, who had a voice activated phone. Cullen wanted to see me. Now. I was eager to talk to Cullen, but I needed to follow up with Wyatt. How far would he go to keep Cullen from Hailey? Nodding at Wyatt, I wondered if I was walking away from a murderer
Murder Lifts the Spirits Page 15
