by Jason Kenyon
Tharanor snorted. He wasn’t giving up any of them.
‘Don’t push me,’ Malthanes said. ‘We like what you’re doing in the quarry – you’re one of our best new workers. So let’s just have the truth and you can go back to being productive. I don’t want to damage you too much.’
‘So kind,’ Tharanor said, even though he expected the Shield Commander to punish him for each sharp response again.
‘Alright, let’s work together on this,’ Malthanes said. ‘What I really want is to know about the mage you team up with. They all say it – that you are friends with a mage, an archer, a paladin and a… well, forget the last. Tell me about this mage.’
‘Sure,’ Tharanor said. ‘He has a white beard, and wears a big robe.’
Malthanes stared at him, emotionless.
‘He’s called Sordath Alkaras, and he leads the Clerics in Ferrina,’ Tharanor continued. ‘They call him the High Templar. Oh, and he’s dead.’
‘Funny,’ Malthanes said. ‘Let’s, you know, turn the hourglass the other way up, let those last few grains of sand go back, and then try answering that again.’
‘Fine,’ Tharanor said. ‘She’s got brown hair.’
‘Brown hair?’ Malthanes repeated, his eyes narrowed.
‘No, sorry, red,’ Tharanor replied. ‘And she wears a blue robe. She likes to make Rune Traps, and she can summon demons. Did I mention she’s a Cleric too? Oh, and she’s dead as well.’
‘Now, see, I gave you a little chance there,’ Malthanes said. ‘I’ve even lost count of the number of times you’ve spoken out of turn. But I’m a follower of the Light, so I’m going to be merciful. Tell me about the mage.’
‘I don’t know about any mages,’ Tharanor said. ‘I used to work with Valia Relassis, the knight. She left, though, because she said she was going to kill your Supreme Commander.’
‘If you really wanted me to believe that, you should have said it before lying to me twice,’ Malthanes said. ‘It’s a shame, because I’d wanted to keep you in a good condition for the quarry.’
He rose to his feet.
‘Ah well,’ Malthanes said, cracking his knuckles. ‘We each do what we must, for the Light.’
Chapter Twelve: Checkpoints and Chaos
‘So, whatever happened to Valia?’ Anjilo asked as the group followed a trail through a small woodland patch.
Archimegadon feared he’d been found out for a moment, before remembering that he’d left Valia out of his summary of his previous adventures, since he’d been concerned it would cause the conversation to go off on too much of a tangent. He didn’t have much of an opportunity to dodge the subject this time, though, so he sighed and answered.
‘She, erm, went bad,’ Archimegadon replied.
‘That’s putting it mildly,’ Mellara said. Since she no longer had her bow, she had Uldraxios strapped to her back, as Anjilo favoured a sword in combat.
‘After the affairs in Aldrack, for whatever reason, she ended up in Bartell’s employ,’ Archimegadon said. ‘I’m not entirely certain why, beyond her little outburst at the castle, but she tried to turn us over to Lord Bartell, only to desert him when she realised things weren’t going her way.’
‘We’re talking about the same Valia, right?’ Anjilo asked.
‘I’m afraid so,’ Archimegadon replied.
‘She was the only, uh, normal one of you guys,’ Anjilo said.
‘Well, apparently not,’ Archimegadon said. ‘She escaped Arranoth with the assistance of Bartell’s Clerics, and then joined the Clerics in Ferrina instead. There, she helped Marr in attempting to take over the city. She failed, though, and fled shortly after.’
‘Whose fault was that, I wonder?’ Mellara asked, putting a finger to her chin.
‘Quiet, you,’ Archimegadon said.
‘Archie here thought she might turn out nice,’ Mellara said, arching an eyebrow. ‘What did she do then? Oh, that’s right, she went and killed Orgus Alhamis.’
‘So it was the same Valia,’ Anjilo said.
‘Let’s be honest, now, Alhamis turned out to be an arse as well,’ Archimegadon said. ‘As did his daughter, for that matter.’
‘Quite,’ Ithalna said.
‘And now where is Valia?’ Mellara asked.
‘I have absolutely no idea at all,’ Archimegadon replied, which was half true.
‘She’s totally crazy,’ Mellara said to Anjilo. ‘She also killed one of our friends. So I can’t understand why Archie let her go.’
‘They used to be friends,’ Anjilo said. ‘She and I fought together as well.’
‘That was then,’ Mellara said.
‘It’d still make it hard to kill her,’ Anjilo said.
Mellara rolled her eyes, which was fairly pointless since she was still wearing Anjilo’s goggles. ‘You two are just as bad as each other.’
‘You’d be sad if you had to kill Diojin,’ Archimegadon said.
‘No, I wouldn’t,’ Mellara said. ‘I think the world would sleep easier if I did that.’
‘Then why don’t you?’ Archimegadon asked.
‘Because he has a chain attached to him that makes it impossible to kill him without repercussions,’ Mellara replied.
‘Is this some form of magical chain?’ Archimegadon asked.
‘Uhm, no,’ Mellara replied. ‘Like… if you kill Diojin, then you make enemies with this person, and that person, and this organisation, and that bunch of assassins…’
‘Ah, I see.’ Archimegadon frowned. ‘Capturing him hasn’t done the paladins any harm.’
‘As far as we know,’ Mellara said. ‘Guess we’ll see when we get to the hold.’
‘Speaking of which, what do you know about Stornis Hold, milady Dawnfield?’ Ithalna asked.
Anjilo tugged her blue cloak about her, and Archimegadon noted the blood stain on one of the corners from where she’d dabbed at Mellara’s arrow wound. He pondered briefly whether any of them could magically remove that, and nearly didn’t pay attention to Anjilo’s words.
‘Didn’t I answer this the other day?’ Anjilo asked.
‘Ah, you told us about what they do there,’ Ithalna replied. ‘I should be more specific. Do you know about the layout of the hold?’
‘It’s built against a big cliff,’ Anjilo replied. ‘They have loads of prisoners there. The quarry is just off to one side. Uh, that’s about it!’
‘Not been there yourself?’ Mellara asked.
‘Nope!’ Anjilo replied. ‘Funny thing, they never thought I had the personality for guarding prisoners.’
‘Mellara is better at that,’ Archimegadon said.
‘You made me do it,’ Mellara said.
‘I was just looking for a way to sneak into your base,’ Archimegadon said. ‘There was no valid reason for taking me prisoner.’
‘I do not think that I will ask,’ Ithalna said.
‘Best you don’t,’ Mellara said.
They continued their journey through the woodlands, and Archimegadon kept an eye on the shadows to either side. There’d been no sign of any more dark magic since the incident at Anjilo’s mountain, but the experience had left him afraid of shadows ever since. He’d even dreamed about terrible events happening, like forgetting his money pouch in Ferrina, or trying to cast flamebolt and producing only a stream of water.
Ithalna had attempted a couple of magic lessons since she’d healed Mellara, but Archimegadon found that he was not too good at it so far. It didn’t help that Mellara watched and mocked him when he failed, which usually resulted in rage, shouting, and eventually flamebolts. While Ithalna had tried to place a ban on Mellara attending any lessons, the mercenary usually found a way to sneak over anyway.
Past the woodlands, they found the road rejoined the Central Way, which was a pain. It was open territory again, which meant that walking off in the fields away from the roads looked suspicious, and could be seen from a fair distance away. The paladins were nosey bastards, and Anjilo confirmed that they had
been given instructions to check any minor behaviour that was out of the ordinary.
The Central Way eventually wound down a hillside and curved round to a bridge that led across a wide river. As the companions drew closer, they saw a crowd of people at the edge of the bridge, which gave Archimegadon a bad feeling. He nudged Mellara with his elbow, and she gave out a sharp yell of pain.
‘Ow, watch it, Archie!’ Mellara said. She put a hand to her injury, which Archimegadon had inadvertently jabbed. ‘I’m still sore there.’
‘Oops, sorry, ma’am,’ Archimegadon said. ‘I was going to ask, can you see what’s going on down there?’
Mellara checked around for people close by, and then lifted the goggles once she was sure there was nobody to see her red irises. She peered down at the crowds and glowered.
‘Looks like the paladins are checking people who cross,’ she replied, tugging the goggles back over her eyes.
‘That could be awkward,’ Ithalna said. ‘Do you think they will look under your goggles?’
‘Maybe,’ Mellara replied. ‘Think we could go around instead?’
Archimegadon looked off to either side, and while he didn’t have Mellara’s hawk-like vision, he could see that the river had no other crossings anywhere close by.
‘We could try going around,’ Anjilo said. ‘But… if they see us doing that this close to a checkpoint, there’s no way they won’t get suspicious and come and pick us up. Or just kill us, and stick us on one of those poles.’
Archimegadon swallowed hard at the mental image of being skewered with a cultist sign around his neck.
Mellara sighed. ‘Look, guys, why don’t you all go by yourselves? I’ll take care of myself. You don’t need to get in trouble because of me.’
‘No way!’ Anjilo said. She grabbed Mellara round the shoulder and yanked her into an awkward friendly squeeze, and Mellara growled. ‘We’re all friends here! We live and die together.’
‘I do not know, I quite liked the sound of Miss Nightshot’s idea,’ Ithalna said, with a small smile.
Mellara hissed at her. ‘Trust you, princess. I knew you had it in for me.’
‘Now, now, I would not have healed your arm if I did not like you.’
‘Huh?’ Mellara blinked. ‘I thought Anji here did that.’
Anjilo shook her head. ‘Nuh uh. All Ithalna’s doing. Well, mostly. I cleaned the wound and carried you out. You were quite heavy, too!’
‘Hey!’
‘That came out totally wrong,’ Anjilo said, scratching her hair. ‘I meant it was hard work but we all did our best for you!’
Mellara looked slightly mollified, but continued to pout anyway.
‘If there is trouble, we can deal with it,’ Ithalna said. ‘Archimegadon here is a Godslayer, after all. Even if he does not know how to cast a simple earth spell.’
‘Not you too,’ Archimegadon said.
‘Sorry.’ Ithalna giggled anyway. ‘Plan of action?’
‘As the leader of this group, I shall decide,’ Archimegadon replied.
‘I’ve done pretty much all the leading,’ Mellara said, tugging free of Anjilo’s arm.
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘She is right,’ Ithalna said. ‘Mellara has been the leader of our band up to this point.’
‘That’s… that’s ridiculous!’ Archimegadon said. ‘I am clearly the hero here, not the accursed mercenary.’
‘Just think, Archie,’ Mellara said with a grin. ‘If anyone writes a song about our adventures, I’ll be the main character!’
‘Unacceptable!’ Archimegadon said, stamping a foot. ‘I am the Mage for Hire – Ithalna hired me, not you!’
‘I hired you both,’ Ithalna said.
‘Ithalna hired me!’ Archimegadon said, trying to drown out Ithalna’s voice.
‘Calm down, old man,’ Anjilo said, laughing. ‘Let’s hear your big plan.’
Archimegadon froze in the midst of his bluster. ‘Ah, well… we shall go down to the bridge. And cross it.’
The other three collectively sighed.
‘Simply act naturally,’ Archimegadon said. ‘Like this.’
He walked off with an arrogant stride, and Mellara and Anjilo exchanged looks. Ithalna just giggled and headed after him.
‘We’re doomed,’ Mellara said to Anjilo.
They followed Archimegadon down to the bridge, where the crowd was starting to shrink as the cursory inspections went by without incident. Archimegadon looked down at his outfit and satisfied himself that he looked suitably rubbish. He glanced back at Anjilo, who was obviously a paladin, and wondered if they should not have done something about that. Mellara almost looked normal, except for the absurd goggles, and Ithalna was still giggling away.
They advanced towards the paladins checking people going past, and Archimegadon found his confidence faltering. Would his natural noble demeanour and magical talent shine through, and reveal his true identity to these knaves? It was difficult sometimes, being of such grand stock.
The paladins turned to face him once it was his turn in the queue to cross the bridge. They looked him up and down and then gestured for him to pass. Archimegadon froze, outraged that they had not noticed his clear suspiciousness. He glanced between them, wondering why they had not stopped him.
‘Something the matter, sir?’ one of the paladins asked.
Archimegadon remembered himself in time. ‘Ah, no, pardon me. A fly got in my face.’
‘They’re bastards round here,’ the paladin said.
Walking on unchallenged, Archimegadon paused and waited for the others to join him on the threshold of the bridge. It was a rickety thing, and creaked ominously behind him. Ithalna was the next to pass, and didn’t get much notice from the guards either. They stepped in the way of Mellara, though, weapons at the ready.
‘Excuse me, miss, but what’re those goggles for?’ one of them asked.
‘I’m an engineer,’ Mellara replied.
‘You’re not exactly doing any engineering now, are you?’ the paladin asked.
‘I’m used to it being dark,’ Mellara replied.
‘Alright, that’s enough of that,’ the paladin said. ‘Take off the goggles.’
Mellara hesitated, so the paladin grabbed the goggles himself and pulled them up, and then stepped away dramatically.
‘It’s her!’ he shouted. ‘Boys, it’s damn red-eyes Valia! Let’s get us a good bounty.’
Mellara hissed with impatience and then shoulder-barged the lead paladin, only for another to grab her by the right arm as she tried to slip past. She let out a cry of pain as he yanked her injured arm, and he twisted it behind her back, making her drop to one knee. Anjilo drew her sword and skipped forward to attack, but another paladin dived in the way and met her blade with his own, forcing her away from Mellara.
Ithalna dropped her satchel to one side and adopted a regal stance. ‘Stop right there! Icebolt!’
Archimegadon, meanwhile, determined not to let Ithalna upstage him, threw his satchel to the ground dramatically, raised himself to his full height, and then pointed at the nearest paladin. ‘Flamebolt!’
The two magical bolts soared through the air and met just in front of the paladin cluster. There was a burst of steam, and then a warm splash of water drenched the paladins instead.
‘Argh, what were you thinking?’ Archimegadon asked, turning on Ithalna.
‘There is no need to kill them!’ Ithalna replied. ‘We can just slow them instead!’
‘Well now they’re just wet, good job,’ Archimegadon said.
‘I used icebolt before you!’
‘You should know I always use flamebolt,’ Archimegadon said.
While the two continued their argument, Anjilo parried a strike from the paladin in front of her, grabbed a wrench from her pocket with the other hand, and then tossed the wrench at another paladin who had unwisely not put on a helmet. It struck him in the side of the head and he dropped like a stone.
The other pal
adins, realising Anjilo was an active threat, turned to face her, leaving Mellara behind them. Red-faced with embarrassment, Mellara lunged for the paladin who’d hurt her arm, yanking him back a pace by his cloak and then tripping him. The other paladin turned to her while Anjilo disarmed the paladin she was fighting, and he realised he was surrounded. Mellara smirked at him, only for it to fade when she saw reinforcement paladins charging towards them from a short distance away.
‘Oops, time to run,’ Anjilo said. She kicked the lone paladin between the legs, dived to grab her wrench from where she’d thrown it, and then ran with Mellara to join the still-arguing mages.
‘Alright, fine!’ Ithalna was shouting. ‘We can both use flamebolt.’
‘You can both run, I think you mean,’ Mellara said as she and Anjilo ran past.
Archimegadon and Ithalna looked round to see the band of paladins, glanced one further time at each other, and then decided to follow the others, after first retrieving their satchels. The bridge creaked under their loud footsteps, and other travellers ran from them, fearing that the adventurers were intending to attack them as well. Soon enough, everyone on the bridge was running as fast as their legs could carry them, and nearby travellers watching from a short distance were very puzzled indeed.
‘This is no good, they’re going to catch us,’ Mellara said.
Archimegadon halted his charge near the end of the bridge and turned on the advancing paladins. Ithalna, who’d been running close behind him, fumbled into him, and they both staggered a few steps.
‘Sorry,’ Ithalna said, and then she, too, turned to face the paladins.
‘Never mind,’ Archimegadon said, and he adjusted his scrubby outfit. ‘Now behold! For I am Archimegadon!’
He launched a flamebolt at the wooden planks of the bridge just ahead of the paladins at the same time as Ithalna, and the two spells detonated with a satisfying impact. The bridge burst into flame, though, and the two mages swiftly realised the potential backfire, and they scrambled to get off the bridge in time. Just as they made it to safety, with Archimegadon diving and landing messily on the road, and Ithalna falling into Anjilo’s arms, the entire bridge gave a despairing whine and then collapsed.
