by A. Vers
Gage dives around me, already pulling the blade from both of us. I watch as it comes away, leaving the wound red and puckered along her now paler tan flesh.
Within seconds it begins to knit, closing back up. My eyes burn.
Healed. She’s healing.
Somehow she is like me.
I look up, to say thank you. To beg for forgiveness. Something.
But Markus is gone.
All my words die on my tongue, replaced with a gratitude I can never repay, a debt I will levy for the rest of my existence.
Tomorrow I will be reprimanded, possibly expelled from the coven for what we did. But the team won’t go down with me. Neither will Markus.
Vlad’s death is on me. But so is Lilah’s rebirth.
And it’s a small price in comparison to know that even if she decides to go, to move on, she will be alive. Safe with him dead.
But as I press my face into the soft line of her neck and rock back and forth, that sense of dark dread remains.
It’s not over, and the worse has yet to come.
47
Lilah
THE ROOM IS COOL, DIM, quiet. Almost.
Something pounds away in my ears. It’s thick, meaty. My mouth waters and my throat burns. I try to sit up, but everything aches. There’s a low squeak, and a small bar of light falls over the foot of the bed.
It pierces my gaze, leaving my head throbbing. I dive over the side of the mattress.
“Baby girl?”
My head whips up. Ruin walks nude from the bathroom and closes the door behind him. Dark marks, like tattoos, trail over the sides of his neck and his thick shoulders. Tribal in nature, they are beautiful. Masculine. And very much like Markus’ tattoos on his arms.
His powerful body eats up the distance between us. “Baby girl?”
I tremble at the need that courses through me just from his sexy rumble alone. His spicy fragrance is pungent, laced with something new. Something mouthwatering.
My hands dig into the bedspread. “You smell fucking amazing.”
He prowls over the bed, making it dip under his bulk. His midnight eyes pulse and shine as he watches me, the colors mixing and spiraling together.
When he reaches for me, I mean to lean up, to let him stroke my hair back.
The slight bunching of my legs leaves me leaping almost to the ceiling before I realize it. I throw my hands up, shielding my face. Strong arms snare around my lower half, and hot vampire wraps around me as I’m lowered back to the floor.
My heart slams. “What the hell?”
His jaw tightens. “Baby girl ... How much do you remember?”
“Remember? Remember what?”
He sets me down on the bed before him. “Lilah ...” His expression is almost hollow, devoid of life. Of hope. “Baby girl, Draven took you.”
I blink. “What? When?”
He winces. “Two days ago.”
I start to laugh, but he doesn’t join me. My brows knit. “Ruin, that’s not funny.”
“I know, baby, because it’s not a joke. Draven took you to Carnage. He ...” He looks away. “He killed you with a syringe of Brightex.”
My heart races so fast, I sway.
Killed?
How did he kill me if—
I look at him. “Ruin ... What did you do?”
“I killed him.”
“And me?”
His dark eyes glance over. “I changed you. You’re a vampire now.”
My jaw drops and I just stare at him.
A vampire?
He made me a vampire?
I scramble to my feet, needing to move, to think. “Where are my clothes?”
“Lilah–”
I spin to face him as he starts to climb from the bed. “No, Ruin. I need you to stay right there and tell me where my fucking clothes are.”
His chiseled features turn to stone, but one muscular arm points to the bathroom.
I walk as calmly as I can inside and shut the door. With my back to the wood, I take in my bag left neatly open in the closet across from me. I snare a few things, dress, and walk back out.
Ruin is in a pair of jeans in the front room, his big body damn near blocking the way out. “Lilah, you need to feed.”
I glare. “Move.”
He folds his arms over his chest, and I swear my body quickens.
Fucking vampire.
I growl. “Ruin, so help me God ... Move.”
His head shakes, jaw and neck cording from his resolution. The same one that kept me alive.
Or brought me back from death.
My fear rips through me, stronger than I have ever felt, and I shove him. Hard.
He flies into the door. The old wood buckles, and he sails into the hall to slide down to the floor with a look of almost comical surprise on his face.
I peer at my hands.
Holy fuck.
He starts to rise and I don’t wait for him to find his feet. I run.
It’s cowardly. Stupid.
But I put on a burst of speed and the coven house blurs around me. Out through the front room, down the stairs, into the foyer, and onto the sidewalk before the manor.
I need time to process, and I can’t do that here.
“Hey.”
I turn.
Caine leans against his cherry red viper, bandages from his neck to his arms and dark circles around his eyes. “Thought you’d be out eventually. Want a lift?”
I look behind me as something clatters in the house prior. Ruin’s roar sets me into motion.
“Let’s go.”
He climbs over the door and I slip in beside him. Slamming the car into gear, he speeds us out the barely opening gate and onto the street beyond.
No one follows.
Sagging into my seat, I don’t give Caine a direction, but he seems to understand that I don’t have one. Instead of going toward Lock Lake, he makes a left and we zip out onto the interstate.
The cities are luminous as we pass them, the sky illuminated by millions of stars, but it’s never been so bright. So vibrant.
But so cold. So eternal.
“Bit different, isn’t it?” he asks into the silence.
“What is?”
“Life on the other side of humanity.”
I nod. “It’s a learning curve.” I glance over. “How’s Raina?” I ask into the surprisingly easy quiet.
“Bruised, but fine. Her and the baby both.”
My world shimmers, but I ignore the passage of hot tears as they roll down my face. I simply nod because if I speak, I’ll cry.
Even pregnant she tried to protect me. At the risk of herself and her unborn child. Just like Caine did. The evidence is under his bandages.
A flash of Draven, bloody knife in hand, tears through my mind. I clamp my lips closed to hide the whimper.
“Ruin’s gonna be pissed for a while,” Caine adds, almost gently. “But he’ll calm down once he realizes you have every reason to freak.”
I huff and cross my arms, eyes locked on the city beyond the quiet interior. The mood swings are hard to grasp, but considering I died ... “He can stay angry.”
Caine laughs. “You’re pissed he thrust you into our world, not that he saved you.”
“What’s the damn difference?” I grumble.
“You wanted to live despite it all, but you didn’t expect it to go this way. Now, everything you have hated ... feared ... You’re one of us, and that scares the hell out of you. That’s why you’re angry. You think you will go bad like the others you grew up around.”
My mouth opens to argue, but I shut it again.
Caine is right.
It’s not being a vampire that scares me, it’s my past.
As a human I wasn’t the best person, stealing from people who needed every dime they saved.
But I never wanted to do it. I wanted to help people. To lift them up where no one ever did with me.
Ruin just gave me an opportunity to try again. To m
aybe be better this time around.
Can I really be mad?
“I know you are weirded out, and you have every right to be. But he did it for the right reasons. He did it to save you when he couldn’t save her,” Caine says softly.
Arrow.
I wince. “Oh yeah. So, I’m the replacement for his dead almost wife.”
“Lilah...” he grumbles. “He didn’t care for her like he does you.”
That makes me look at him.
With the top down, the warm summer air whips his dark hair around his head like a halo of jagged locks. He shifts gears smoothly, and we glide through traffic.
“How do you know?” I ask.
He shrugs, winces with the motion, and stops. “I’m Asmodean, but we can sense things besides lust. We sense passion, chemistry, love.” He checks his mirror before getting over. “And when he talks about her, there is none of that. But I saw how he looked when they brought you back. I saw the pain, the hope. And yes, the love.”
My head shakes in vehemence. “He can’t love me, Caine. It’s been like a week.”
“Time is different to a supernatural. We may not be truly immortal, but we mark the passing of time different. He may not know that is what it is yet, but it’s there.” His hellfire eyes dip to me. “Just like it’s in you.”
I flush. “No comment.”
He laughs. “Ruin is a good guy, Lilah. Better than me. And you’re the first good thing he’s had in a long time. So don’t hate him for being selfish enough to want to hang on to that. And don’t be afraid to want something just because it isn’t normal. You deserve to be happy. You both do.”
We fall into silence, and his words echo in my ears. Of all the ones at the coven house, I never expected Caine to be the one to tell me that. To cheer for us the most.
“He has marks now,” I mutter. “Like Markus’.”
“That ... is not my place to tell you. Suffice it to say, what you’re thinking they mean... You’re right.”
Marks that only a Consort can have.
Ruin is marked for me. Something almost stupidly happy breaks through me.
I was right. The sword cuts both ways.
I may be Ruin’s but he is also mine, and the marks on his body prove it. My stomach quivers at the notion.
“And you’re not railing against it?” I tease.
“I’m selfish enough to want to.” he admits. “But I can’t change myself or the situation. Can’t force you.”
I stare at the side of his face. “That is awfully not demon of you.”
He snorts. “Yeah, well ... Don’t read anything in to it.”
I grip the hard line of his forearm. “Are you okay?” I ask. “Really?”
He gives a curt nod. “I’ve had worse.” He glances at me with a slick smile. “Like the time the acrobats came through town. Now that was a bender if there ever was one.”
My eyes roll and my stomach rumbles. Loudly.
His chuckle makes my face heat again. “You were technically dead,” he quips.
I consider thumping him in the arm, but stop as my eyes land on all the bandages covering him. “Thank you,” I whisper.
His hand mottles over the wheel. “I couldn’t keep him from you, Lilah. That’s nothing to thank me for.”
My fingers tighten over the only bare spot on his arm. “Thank you, Caine, for protecting me, for listening to me, and for caring. I’ve never had friends, but I count you as one now. And I hope, one day, you will understand why.”
When he finally meets my gaze, his hellfire eyes burn into me. The fire in them is more red than yellow, tapered through with citrine, carnelian, and the jet orb of his shockingly normal pupils. He nods, throat working, and I pull back.
His gaze goes back out the window. “Now, little bird, let’s find you something to eat before I have to take you back to the big bad vampire.”
MEETING RUIN MAY BE the best thing to ever happen to me, death notwithstanding. But having Caine as a friend is a close second.
We eat at a nice sushi place off the downtown pier. They treat Caine like a movie star, with the best table, first class service, and privacy. Though half the restaurant seems curious as to why he is wrapped like a mummy, they give him a wide berth on instinct alone.
An instinct, once upon a time, I would have shared. But that sentiment is gone. Maybe with my death ... No. Before that. Ruin, Raina, Caine ... They showed me that supernaturals can be good. Some of them even better than the humans. And I realize Raina was right.
Every group of people may have a few bad seeds in the bunch, but not every batch of seeds is inherently bad.
After a lot of laughter, a chopstick fiasco, and dinner, we drive around some more, but soon the thirst comes back and Caine turns toward the coven house.
We roll through the big gate and Ruin is already outside. Waiting. I glare at Caine and he grins unrepentant.
Of damn course he called to say we were on the way. Of course he did.
“Sell out,” I snarl.
“Demon, remember?”
This time I do slug him in the side of one rock-hard thigh. He cackles like a madman and puts the car in park before hopping out and getting my door.
Caine leans down and kisses me softly on the cheek as he pulls me from the black leather interior. My face flushes hard enough that I’m left dizzy. “Remember what I said, little bird. You deserve to be happy with whomever makes you that way.”
He smiles at me again and walks off without another word.
I can only watch him go.
Ruin’s growls are easily audible to my ears now, and it makes me tremble. I glance up as he pushes away from the door.
“Are you fucking insane?” he grumbles. “You’re a newborn vamp, Lilah. You could’ve hurt someone.”
I raise a brow. “And I didn’t. Caine made sure of that.”
His dark eyes flash. “If you’re not here, I can’t protect you. I can’t ...” He scrubs a hand over his face.
In the lights from the lamp posts nearby, I see what I didn’t in the bedroom.
Dark circles rest below his eyes, and his cheeks are hollow, sunken in. Even his clothes are rumpled, like he threw on whatever was closest so as not to startle the guests.
My death may have been as hard for him as it still is for me.
I take a step and stop. “Ruin, I’m not as hard to hurt as I was.” He remains with his hand over his eyes. I pull gently at his fingers until he looks at me. “I need you to understand something now before we go any further with this.”
I search his gaze. “I ... am ... not ... Arrow.” He flinches. “I am not her. I’m me. Lilah Marks. Orphaned, once human. Now vampire. I get that you’re worried. After dying, I kind of am too.” His lips twitch. “But I won’t be mothered. I won’t be babied. I want to go to school, get a degree, a job ... I can’t do that with you standing over me. I need you to trust me to be okay.”
His hand cups my face and it is so hard not to lean into him. “I know you’re not, Arrow, Lilah. I never thought you were. You’re too spirited, too free willed. But that’s what drew me to you. Your passion, your innocence despite everything ...Your humanity.”
For the first time since he said I was a vampire, it dawns on me that he may not want me at all now.
Was that the only thing that drew him to me? My humanity?
The little lines along his neck says differently.
“Ruin–”
“I can’t guarantee to ease up immediately, baby girl. But you are going to need to be trained. Someone has to teach you discipline. There are others, of course, if you would prefer it not to be me, but as your sire–”
“Sire?” I ask.
He grimaces. “It was my blood that pumped through your veins when you died. If you had never drank from me, the change wouldn’t have worked to begin with.” He looks heavenward. “Something Markus only told me after we got back here.”
The way he says the king’s name tells me all I need to
know. “How much trouble are you in?” I ask.
“With the coven? None. With Markus ... We will work through it. But the Council is angry.” He snorts and his hand drops back to his side. “Furious actually. At me and Markus.”
“Why?”
“Changing a human was banned almost a hundred years ago after so many died during the experiments overseas. It takes a strong bloodline in order for it to work at all. And the practice became taboo when a lot of the older, stronger bloodlines became diluted. Weak.” He looks away, and I know he is wondering how a bastard vampire had that much power.
“But worse than all that? I killed our only lead. With Vlad dead, we don’t know who our supplier is.”
“How bad?” I ask carefully.
He exhales. “I am being demoted with a pay decrease for now. It’s probationary. Any more slips ... They are within their power to ask for my imprisonment. Or worse.” My stomach knots with icy dread. “Gage will act as Markus’ second in command, and I will go back to being a hired hand until the trial in a month.”
“Trial?” I croak.
“It’s purely for their benefit. Punishment has been issued. It’s a mere formality.”
I watch him. “Ruin ...” Draven’s words float back to me. But they are distant now.
Did he really send the Brightex to Georgia?
My lips part to speak, but he raises a hand. “Just let me get through this,” he cuts in, brows pinched.
I clamp my mouth closed and nod.
“My job was the only thing I had, Lilah. It was what made me who I am. What defined me.” His dark eyes cast over my face. “But now ... I would rather base who I am on the deeds I do for the ones I care about, than the deeds of a title I am no longer sure I want.” His pulse is steady in the muscled column of his neck.
“But I do know what I want.” He steps closer, pushing me back until my legs hit the hood of Caine’s car.
“And what is that?” I ask, mouth dry.
“I want you naked under me, with your fangs in my neck.” I inhale. “I want to fill you with my blood and my seed until my very scent pours from your skin.” His body heat is warmer than before, or maybe the same as mine now. He boxes me in, fitting his hips to mine and leaning me back until I’m draped over the hood like a car ornament. My core turns molten, and my thirst ratchets higher. “I want you, Lilah. In every sense of the word ... If you will have me.”
