I tightened my jaw. “I’m not sure why he asked me to be the point of contact on the project. He had access to all of our work, and some of mine was in the promotional presentation.”
Quinn’s sourpuss expression softened. “I didn’t tease you about the music event because I didn’t think you should get the chance to work with him. You’re great at your work. It’s more to do with Paul Crane himself.”
“Rumor has it, Paul had to be talked into giving Ryan and Logan a ticket by Gary, but that’s not confirmed,” Kyle said, like he was the gossip mill’s quality assurance. “He wanted only you to go, not Ryan and Logan.”
I folded my arms to hide my panic. I didn’t know Paul had wanted only me there, but it could explain why Logan was a bit put out when he begrudgingly told me about the invitation. However, bits of information like this started saucy rumors, and if I didn’t want to be the star of the new sordid office soap-opera, I had to nip this one in the bud quickly. Most of the truth was better than no truth.
“Absolutely nothing happened,” I said to their skeptical faces. “I went to the event and Paul announced he was interested in Emono Games. He danced with other women too. You must have heard he kissed Cara Tinsel?” I pointed that out even though it upset me to do so. It had been all over social media.
“Yeah, but this is Emono. You, a temp, being asked to be the point of contact with the client is big news around here,” Kyle said. “It’s not how things usually work.”
I had to admit Kyle was right, but Paul’s idea to work with me hadn’t come as out of the ordinary. He was unconventional. We had a natural ease with each other, and we shared a love of classical music. However, none of my ideas as to why Paul did what he did could be shared. And even though Quinn and Kyle both tried a mind-melding stare to garner confirmation, I kept my face masked in indignance. They deflated in defeat.
“Good poker face. I didn’t know you had it in you, or that you went for the pretty-boy type. Give me a mere millionaire bear any day,” Quinn said, still letting me know he wasn’t completely beaten or fooled. “But seriously, Aubrey, be careful. Crane has a reputation for hooking up with his ‘chosen’ woman on every job he has. I don’t want you to be another one of his casualties to be dumped when he’s done.”
“Even if you were right, which you’re not, what about Logan and his wife Mia? She worked on Evolution and then got together with him.” It was something I’d considered over the weekend when I tried to work out in my mind how Paul and I could maybe date.
“Logan is upper management. There are rules for us town folk and the managers with friends here in high places,” Kyle said.
“I hate to say it, but he’s right,” Quinn agreed. “People like Logan get bendy rules and the real ones are for the rest of us. You’ll be fired if they think you’re involved with Crane. For sure.”
I busied myself on the computer to avoid letting them see the alarm heating my blood. Paul had told me as much. But hearing he had a “chosen” woman on every job instantly made everything we did together less special. I didn’t know why it was, but I wanted to believe I was special to him. His praise and support for my music had given me hope. I hadn’t experienced hope in my music like this since my dad, who had been my champion.
Quinn put his hand on my shoulder, letting me know there must have been a crack in my armor. Luckily, it came right at the time my phone buzzed. I dove into my handbag to check it and discovered one of my other stressors.
1:15 P.M. This is a reminder of your appointment with Dr. Casey at 2:00 p.m.
“Another interview?” Quinn asked when I put my phone away.
“I wish,” I said and blew out a breath. “No, it’s a doctor’s appointment.”
My five-week mandatory psychiatric appointment. I had completely forgotten it was today.
“Well, I just wanted to say that I forgive you for the party,” Quinn said. “You’re still my favorite contracting audio tech, and one of the best they have in audio, period. You deserve to get your bonus, but as you’ve seen, they’ll cut anyone for any reason to save a few bucks.”
“If they give the bonuses at all,” I replied quietly.
Quinn might not have cared who heard him talking badly about the company, but I had to. And not receiving the bonus, even after making it to the release of the game, was another one of my biggest anxieties and fears.
“I’ve got to go,” Kyle announced. “See you after work for our walk to the train?”
I blinked. “Yeah. Sure.” We’d made going to the train a Friday habit, but this was Thursday.
Quinn awesomely stayed behind for a short while and helped me find a few game bugs, until I had to leave for my appointment. It was just for half an hour and had been on my schedule for a while. The location of my doctor’s office was right across the square from our building, and I gave myself ten minutes to get there.
After logging out, I headed over to the elevator and pressed the down button. When it arrived, I was surprised to see Ryan, Logan, and Daniel there together. They were laughing and smiling when I walked inside.
“Good news?” I asked them out of curiosity.
“Yes,” Logan said, looking everywhere but at me.
“It’s great news,” Ryan said, stepping close. His voice was cheerful. “Daniel has been made Audio Engineer Specialist today. We were having a team lunch to celebrate. Oh…” He gave a really big smile. “I mean, it was a permanent staff luncheon, or we’d have contacted you.”
Daniel’s round face turned the shade of his red hair, and his grin made him look like a jerk.
Okay, that was mean, but the four of us knew he had less experience and required more guidance and correction in his work than I did. Besides, he had been hired five months after me.
“Congratulations, Daniel.” I cleared my throat. “I thought Emono had a hiring freeze at the moment?”
“We decided that all the work coming on with the soundtrack made a good case for more support, and our recent proposal for a special-edition element to the game had been approved,” Logan explained, pressing the elevator button again.
“How’s Quality Assurance?” Ryan asked. “Thank you for helping out there this week.” Ryan and his team player crap. Again. Fortunately, the elevator doors opened, saving me from having to reply as we all walked out.
“We won’t be leaving you there any longer,” Logan said, as if that made up for them hiring Daniel over me. “You can return to your office tomorrow. I’ll have something for you to work on.”
“Actually, let Daniel handle the workflow schedule, that’s part of his new job,” Ryan added—another cut to wound me more.
“Fine. Whatever works,” I said against the block in my throat. “I’ve got to go.”
I rushed out of the building and across the square to Dr. Casey’s, taking the stairs up the five flights instead of the elevator, and surprised myself by reaching the reception with a few minutes to spare. The sting behind my eyes hadn’t gone away when I checked in at the reception desk. The nurse took me to the doctor’s office right away. Instead of choosing the couch, I sat in the chair across from her desk. When Dr. Casey entered, her face took on an immediate look of concern. “Is everything okay?”
There was no use lying to her. She knew most of my secrets. She had received my full medical history when I was mandated to see her as an agreement reached during the settlement.
“I’m fine,” I replied as evenly as I could. “I just ran over here. I received some bad news at work, but I’ll be okay.”
“Did something happen?” she asked, checking my heart rate.
“I’m fine, really,” I said, forcing a lift to my tone. “I’m upset because someone at work who had been hired as a contractor after me received a full-time position. It’s normal to be upset about that.”
“You’re concerned about being seen as normal,” she said in her counseling way. “Your mom has a long history of mental health issues, not you. You’ve told me in our previo
us sessions that her current clinical diagnoses are bipolar 1 with psychotic features and generalized anxiety disorder?”
I nodded in confirmation.
“Those are her mental health issues. Her recent psychotic break doesn’t mean it will happen to you.”
“But what about the way I handled everything?” I asked.
“Death affects everyone differently,” she said. “Your reaction was a bit extreme, but I don’t classify it as psychotic. Right now, I believe you’re past it, and are beginning to let go of some of your anxiety after your father’s death, having to leave your first career. Has your sister given you permission to visit yet?”
I swallowed hard. “Not yet.”
“Have you told her that it’s too stressful to burden you with being the sole bread winner for their care?” she asked.
“I’m not, and I couldn’t be their only source of money,” I said defensively. “Mom still has my dad’s pension and social security. I’ve told my sister she could get a job, and we could get a day nurse for Mom. She wants to do it all herself.”
“That must be hard on you,” she said, her tone gentle. “How are you handling it?”
I pressed my lips together. “I’m managing.”
“I see,” she said. The corners of her mouth turned downward and told me I’d failed to convince her. After a few minutes of silence, she said, “All right. Give yourself time to think things through. Try to train your inner lens to focus on you, not on others’ lives and experiences. Just because things happened to them, doesn’t mean they will happen to you. Has anything else happen recently?”
“I played the violin.”
“You did?” she said with enthusiasm. “How was it?”
“Great. A famous producer offered me a chance to play for him,” I told her, but left out Paul Crane’s name. “He was really encouraging.”
“You like him?” she asked and smiled.
I lowered my face. “I do, but he’s going to work for the company. I can’t date him.”
And he doesn’t want to work with me now. If he had, Daniel wouldn’t have been promoted to a new job, one that he barely even deserved.
I held in the pain and stared at the clock, filling the minutes with safe topics. Once the half hour ran out, I immediately rose and waited for her to sign a slip proving I had kept my agreed periodic visit.
Before I left, Dr Casey said, “With the problems at work and the pressure of trying to find a new job, would you like to go back on your medication? I know you see some stigma around taking antidepressants and anxiety medication because you think it means you’re mentally unstable. It most certainly doesn’t. Most of my clients have found that it doesn’t make them tired, and I can assure you it is safe.”
“No thank you,” I said quickly. “I’ll try the lens focus stuff.”
She sighed heavily. “This is your final obligatory visit. I still think there is plenty more we can work on with all the stressors going on in your life. I believe you hold too much in and try to play it too safe because you fear you’ll end up like your mom. I think you’d benefit from talk therapy. I can’t make you, but I’d like you to consider continuing.”
I nodded, though I had no intention of following that advice. She was good but going to her was a dive into my past to relive my worst days. There had been many days after that, and I wouldn’t look back.
I couldn’t look back.
Logan had been true to his word in ending my work at Quality Assurance the next day. And Ryan was, too, in having Daniel handle work assignments. Daniel had assigned me his overflow work to “polish it.” But what he really meant was to redo it entirely. There wasn’t one piece I opened that didn’t need rework. I shared my woes with Quinn on our way to lunch.
“And he gets to be specialist,” Quinn grumbled. “He looks good on paper, but he’s been in Ryan’s office every morning. He’s been training Daniel to bring him up to speed.”
My stomach twisted in knots. Ryan told me he didn’t have time to train me for the job. “I didn’t know that.”
“See? Sometimes gossip isn’t bad,” Quinn replied. “Well, it’s not good for you. I’ve seen the two of them slipping out of work early together too.”
Ryan often seemed to have nothing nice to say about those in lower positions than him, or even bothered with temps except to exert his power. I’d never paid Daniel that much attention and was sure his promotion was due to his college degree. I hadn’t considered there might be a bromance brewing between the two of them.
“I’d like to know if you find out anything else,” I murmured.
Quinn pursed his mouth. “You know I’ll tell you.”
I had already slung my bag over a shoulder when my phone buzzed with a text from Logan.
11:59 A.M. I need you to come to a short meeting right now in Yasmine’s office.
I froze. “I’ve got a meeting with Human Resources.” I showed him the message.
He averted his eyes to mask his concern. “I wouldn’t worry about it. That could mean anything.”
“Yeah it could,” I said flatly, my stomach churning.
“Hey, whatever it is, me, you and Kyle will go out and have a drink, okay?” he offered.
I smiled. The jump from work-friends to outside-of-work friends. “I’d like that.”
He gave me a pat on the back. “Don’t go in there defeated. You’re really good at your work. If your bosses were unhappy, they’d have fired you in the other two downsizing cycles.”
I didn’t have any jokes. I didn’t even want to talk now, and Quinn understood.
We parted at the elevators, and on my ride up I did a quick inventory of my finances, and they were not getting-fired-today good. I had no idea what I was going to do, and nervously walked in.
The HR suites were like crossing over into paradise. The carpets were cushier under my feet, and the mahogany wood panel on the walls had an extra glow. I moved past the row of suited interview candidates in the reception and up to the executive assistant who, despite the text message asking me to come at this time, stopped me from going into Yasmine Nguyen’s office. So much for downsizing, but I’m sure they’d say they already had the budget for these positions.
The receptionist made a call, and Yasmine herself came out in her tailored suit and break-neck high heels to escort me to her door.
“Hello, Aubrey,” she said in a sing-song tone. “So good to see you. Would you like a latte or a soft drink?”
I blinked. Had I stepped into an episode of Black Mirror, or had Emono’s firing practices softened? “No. Thank you.”
She opened her door. Logan was seated in front of her desk with a folder in his hand. He gave me a smile that didn’t reach his imploring green eyes.
I looked at him questioningly, but he looked at Yasmine. “Can we start?” he asked her.
Yasmine sat behind her desk and let out a laugh that showed off her dazzling capped-teeth smile. I’d smile broadly, too, if I had those teeth.
“We have great news. We’ve had to make some changes in the Audio Department, and we’d like to offer you a contract Audio Outreach Specialist position. Isn’t that exciting?” Her tone reminded me of gameshow host telling a bewildered player that they had won a new car.
My eyes widening and my mouth dropping open was the same reaction that contestant would have had. “Really? One full-time promotion and a contract promotion in the same week in the same department?”
It all seemed too good to be true, and I glanced over at Logan for confirmation. However, he continued to stare at Yasmine, and I couldn’t read his fascial expression.
“No, actually we’ve had to place the full-time position on hold,” Logan explained and glanced my way. “We’re now offering you and Daniel contract positions. Your duties would be similar to your regular work, but you’ll also be working on Paul Crane’s soundtrack.”
A flutter went through my chest. I’d be working with Paul? “Has Mr. Crane signed a contract?”
Logan turned his head towards me. “He hasn’t yet, but he’s given Gary information on what he’d like to include in the negotiations. We’ve decided to place you and Daniel in the positions now, in good faith.” He handed me a sheet of paper. It appeared handwritten, with Gary’s signature at the bottom.
“My executive assistant is currently working on the final draft. You can sign this one for now,” Yasmine said. “The salary is as shown, as well as a new bonus.”
I took the paper and stared at it in disbelief. The salary was ten dollars higher than my hourly rate. It also came with a guaranteed job through the duration of the project, and a twenty-five-thousand-dollar bonus on release. It was too good to be true, considering all the downsizing lately. “How is this possible?”
Yasmine and Logan looked at each other before she spoke to me again. “It is or will be… your work week will be divided between Emono and Crane Production Studios, where you’ll report directly to Mr. Crane. We’re waiting for him to complete his contract, but if he doesn’t sign, we won’t have any use for this position, I’m afraid.”
My blood chilled. “Oh. I see.”
Now I understood. Instead of offering me a real full-time position they’d decided to use me as bait to get Paul Crane. All I could think of was that Gary had somehow thought Paul Crane would take the contract as long as I was involved. I didn’t want to be used, and I wished that I could have been in a position to turn it down, but with this new contract I’d have more take-home money, and a chance to pay off some of my and my family’s debts.
“Since there will be more work, like I said yesterday, we will have a full-time job that you and Daniel will both be considered for after the release of Absolution,” Logan added.
That was the clincher for me. I’d have extra money, a new title, and a chance at full-time work at the end of Absolution. The bonus would also bring down my debt. I signed the contract.
Returning to my office, I felt like I had a spotlight on me. People were staring and whispering as I passed them. I didn’t stop to find out what they were gossiping about, but I had some idea after my conversation with Quinn and Kyle. They were sure Paul had selected me as his “chosen female” to fool around with.
Unfinished Sympathy (Absolution Book 1) Page 11
