He took a deep breath.
“Ruth and I needed a clean start. So we came here. Granbury was so far off the map that I didn't figure anybody would come looking for us. It didn’t hurt that there wasn’t a sheriff in town. I thought if I did good things with the money, it would somehow redeem everything from my past."
He laughed, a low sound of pain. “And then Torres showed up. And you asked exactly the right question.”
He dragged his hand down his face again. Sighed.
She could hardly process everything he’d told her. Confidence schemes and robberies and the death of his parents? Was she supposed to believe he’d walked away from that lifestyle completely?
Silence grew between them as the sleigh runners swished on the deep snow.
John couldn't bear to look at Cecilia.
Last night he’d realized that he couldn’t keep his past a secret from her any longer. Not if he really was the upright man he’d tried to be since his parents’ deaths.
Had he ruined whatever fledgling feelings she’d had for him?
“Why did you tell me?” she whispered.
Did she really have to ask? “You know why.”
He could feel the weight of her gaze. She wanted him to say it.
He sighed, the sound ragged in his throat. “I don’t know what Torres is up to. I’ve been following him around. There’s a chance he’ll tell everyone in Granbury about my past. But I didn’t want you to find out that way.”
He wanted her to keep looking at him the way she had that morning. Her quiet admiration, that light in her eyes… he didn’t want to lose her regard.
“How could I convince you to have a friendship with me when this was between us?” He was the one to use the word. Friendship. But it was so inadequate to describe what he wanted now.
He wanted what her parents had. A love that would last through thick and thin. A house full of children. A quiet joy that sometimes burst into chaos.
And he wanted it with her.
But not with secrets between them.
"I can see now why Ruth has been having difficulties," she said quietly.
He chanced a look Cecilia’s direction. She was staring into the distance, her expression pensive and thoughtful. "She was raised by parents who taught her one thing and now her guardian—you—want to change the rules completely."
"Believe me," he said, “it hasn't been easy for me either. When the mill first came into operation, I messed up an order for one of the families in town. It was really hard for me to own up to it instead of making an excuse to cover it up."
Her head tilted toward him. "I suppose I can understand why you did what you did. Why you came to Granbury. After my mother died and we were left with my drunken stepfather, I would’ve done anything to make sure my sisters were cared for.”
She’d offered information about her family without him haranguing her.
Suddenly, his heart was in his throat. “I used the earnings from my first year running the mill and sent the bank—the one my parents robbed—a lump sum. I did it anonymously, but I wanted to replace the money my parents had taken." He had never told anyone that before. He didn't know whether it would help her to understand, but he had tried to do the right thing.
"What did my father say last night when he spoke to you?"
His heart hitched at the subject change. "He told me that you'd had a rough childhood and that you wouldn't appreciate it if someone were less than truthful with you."
That was part of the reason he’d come clean. Even if it meant that she didn't want him anymore, he couldn't move forward in a relationship built on a lie.
She made a soft sound. "My family was certainly charmed by you.”
He dared another glance at her. She was squinting ahead.
“Were you charmed?"
"Do you really have to ask?"
His heart leapt even as he cautioned himself to go slowly. This was the first time she’d admitted she was drawn to him.
But being charmed wasn't the same as wanting him to come courting.
"Does it change things? Knowing about my past?" He held the reins in one hand and reached across to wrap his hand around hers in her lap.
She didn’t object.
"Do you really think everyone in Granbury will be happy for us?"
"I think so."
Mrs. Fitzgerald had been doing her best to find ways to throw them together for weeks. Michael and Lucy had been rooting for them. He couldn't imagine anyone being angry, as long as they kept their interactions appropriate.
"And what will Ruth think? What if her behavior gets worse?”
He frowned. He hadn't thought about Ruth when he’d considered his feelings for Cecilia. Maybe that made him selfish. Everything he had done for the last two years had been for his sister. To build a new life for them, to be able to support her financially. Even securing Cecilia as teacher had been for her benefit.
"I don't know what she'll think," he said finally.
"I am not opposed to you taking me on a sleigh ride or a walk or… whatever you choose. But perhaps you should talk to Ruth first. I would hate to drive a wedge between you and your sister."
He was elated, but he knew Cecilia was right. Ruth knew about his history. Telling Cecilia the truth wasn’t the same as telling everyone in town. He didn't want folks to look at him differently, and surely not everyone would be as understanding as Cecilia. His sister could make things very difficult for him.
John dropped off Cecilia at the boardinghouse so she wouldn't have to walk home in the cold and then drove the sleigh to the livery.
He was helping unhitch the horse when Bart mentioned that Torres had ridden out of town that morning.
John felt a beat of relief that was quickly replaced by unease when Bart added, “He was telling me about his investments in the stock market in New York. He was talking about going back east to make some more investments in person."
Tension coiled through John. It sounded very much like a scam that John's parents had once run on several families in a tiny town in Nebraska.
"I don't know anything about that," John said.
Bart unbuckled the final leather strap, and John walked the horse out of the harness. His friend met him to take the horse’s lead. "You've got a good head for business, though. Charles says he could double my investment. Wouldn't that be something?"
John gritted his teeth. "Seems too good to be true."
The other man looked at him, a little confused. "I guess it doesn't matter now, since he left. Do you know if he's coming back?"
John sincerely hoped not. How many people had Torres told about this magic stock market that could double their money? It was good that John had come back when he had. Maybe Torres had realized that John wasn't going to let him scam his friends out of their money. John could only hope the other man was gone for good.
Cecilia was chatting with Mrs. Fitzgerald in the parlor when he reached the boardinghouse.
He waved his hello to his landlady and went up the stairs.
"Hello, scamp." He gave Ruth a hug when he entered their rooms. "I'm sorry I was gone so long. We got caught in the snowstorm."
"That's all right. Mrs. Fitzgerald made hot cocoa, and we sang Christmas carols together."
He chuckled. It was still a good six weeks until Christmas. Thinking about Ruth singing with Mrs. Fitzgerald made him remember Cecilia singing with him in the sleigh, and his smile grew as he recalled her voice, just slightly out of tune.
Ruth’s eyes narrowed on him.
There was no time like the present. He patted the small sofa, and she sat beside him.
"What would you think about having a sing-along with Miss White?"
Her nose wrinkled. "Why?"
"We have never really talked about this before," he started. He wasn’t exactly keen on having a conversation about romance with his nine-year-old sister. "But there might be a time in the future where I want to spend time with a woman. Maybe I'll
even decide to get married one day."
She jumped off the couch, whirling and placing her hands on her hips. Her eyes flashed. "And you want it to be Miss White? Why?"
"Because I like her," he said calmly.
"Well, I hate her. I don't want you to spend time with her. And I definitely don't want you to marry her."
“Hold on, now." He’d anticipated that Ruth might not like the idea of him being with Cecilia, but he hadn't expected this fury.
"How can you say you hate her?" he asked. "You don't even know her. You haven't given her a chance."
Her lip stuck out stubbornly. "I know enough. All she cares about is rules."
He shook his head. "That's not true."
She rolled her eyes. Her hands came up to cover her ears as she chanted, “No, no, no."
His frustration turned into anger. He stood and grasped her hands, drawing them out in front of her body. He wanted to shake her, but he settled for holding onto her wrists gently but firmly.
"Stop that." He rarely spoke to her in a harsh tone of voice.
She looked at him with wide eyes.
"Haven’t I taken care of you since Pa and Ma died? Even before that? Don't you think it's time I had one thing for myself? One thing?"
His words were an exaggeration and he knew it, but his emotions had boiled over. She was acting so self-centered. He needed her to think about something other than herself for one minute.
She blinked a couple times and sniffled.
He hadn't meant to upset her. "I'm sorry." He let her go and stepped back.
She watched him as if she wasn't sure what he was going to do next.
"I'm sorry for speaking like that to you, but I'm not changing my mind on this. I like Miss White, and I'm going to be seeing her. You're going to treat her with respect in the classroom and outside of it. In time, you'll come to see that she cares about you, just like I do. And I think you'll start to like her too."
Her expression didn’t change. She just stared at him with glistening eyes.
"May I be excused?" she asked in a whisper.
He nodded, and she slipped off to her room, closing the door almost silently behind her.
He sat on the couch and rubbed his hands over his face.
That could've gone better.
He should've expected her show of temper. Should've been prepared to handle things with more finesse.
It had been an emotional couple of days. He’d fallen hard for Cecilia and then opened himself up in a way he’d never done before. Now he’d messed things up with Ruth, and he didn't know how to fix it. She would see—surely she would have to see—that Cecilia was kindhearted and loyal, someone they needed in their lives.
Because he was starting to think he couldn’t live without her.
16
Over the next few weeks, Cecilia spent most of her free time with John.
In the evenings, they sat by the fire in Mrs. Fitzgerald's parlor and talked late into the night. John was a good listener. She found herself talking about her days in the classroom, her family, her childhood. He seemed to draw the words from her effortlessly.
On Sunday mornings, she sat next to him at church. She sang as softly as possible while he gave her secret smiles.
No one in town objected.
But things with Ruth did not improve.
It was ten days until Christmas, and the children in her classroom were antsy. The weather was bitter cold with a biting north wind, and they had only taken a short recess outdoors because of it. Toward the end of the day, Cecilia was helping another student with a difficult math problem and didn't see what happened, but all of a sudden Ruth and Jericho were locked in a tussle.
"Stop right now," Cecilia ordered loudly.
The boy straightened, instinctively obeying. But Ruth took that opportunity to send a punch straight to his stomach. He doubled over but then roared and grabbed Ruth, knocking her to the floor.
Cecilia rushed that direction to separate them. She got an elbow in her midsection but finally pulled the two apart. They were breathing heavily, and Ruth's hair was falling out of her braid. Jericho had a bloody lip.
“What happened? You know there is no fighting in this classroom.”
Jericho ducked his head, “Sorry, Miss White."
Ruth jutted out her chin and crossed her arms with a mulish look on her face.
“Apologize to each other,” Cecilia said. That was the first order of business, and then she would get to the bottom of what had started the fight.
“Sorry.” Jericho gave his apology to the floor.
Ruth stared straight ahead, not looking at either Cecilia or her friend.
“Ruth,” Cecilia warned.
"You can't tell me what to do."
Cecilia didn’t want to have this battle in front of her students. "Class is dismissed for the day. Everyone bundle up. Ruth, sit at your desk."
The girl jerked her arm out of Cecilia’s grasp and grabbed her coat from the back of her chair, running from the classroom before Cecilia could do anything to stop her.
The other children gaped for a moment and then seemed to remember that they were supposed to go home. In the chaos of everyone bundling up and gathering their things to leave, Cecilia couldn't follow Ruth out.
There was nothing for it now. She would have to tell John about her behavior. She knew his relationship with his sister was strained right now, but what Ruth had done—both the fight and the disobedience—was unacceptable.
Cecilia was pulling on her own coat and had her scarf hanging around her neck when there was a knock on the door. She looked up as someone entered and then registered surprise to see her sister Susie.
"Susie. Oh my goodness. What are you doing here?"
Her sister smiled, her cheeks rosy from the cold. "I wanted to see my sister."
Cecilia's brow furrowed. "I'll be home for Christmas in a week."
"I couldn't wait. I need to tell you something, and I hope you'll be happy for me."
Cecilia crossed the room and embraced her sister. She drew her closer to the stove. The fire was dying, and already cold was nipping at the corners of the building, but a little warmth remained.
"What is it?"
Her sister looked a little pale, and Cecilia wondered whether she had been ill. Mama hadn't written anything, and it’d been months since she had received a letter from Susie herself.
"I'm getting married."
Shock held Cecilia immobile. She searched her sister’s face, looking for evidence of a prank. "What?"
"I'm getting married. Aren't you happy for me?"
Cecilia struggled to find more words. "What do you—who is it? Mama hasn't written a word."
Susie's eyes showed a hint of guilt. "Mama doesn't approve. My Roy is a gambler, and Mama is far too judgmental."
Cecilia was confused. And then her sister’s words made a terrible kind of sense.
"Do you mean to tell me you ran away?"
Susie’s smile trembled. “Roy had to leave town. He went to Sheridan, and I mean to follow him there. We're going to get married. Only he doesn't know it yet."
None of this made sense. "What do you mean?"
"He hasn't exactly asked me. But we have to marry."
Cecilia’s insides squeezed. Surely Susie didn't mean what she was hinting at.
And then Susie unbuttoned the coat she was wearing and placed her hand on her flat stomach. "I'm carrying his baby."
Cecilia shook her head. Susie was a flirt, but she would never—could never—
“No," she whispered.
Susie wore a stubborn look to rival Ruth’s from only moments ago. "I am. And I'm happy for it. And he will be too."
"Susie, no. If… if you've made a mistake, that's one thing. But to marry this man…" Obviously this Roy was a man without moral character, considering he’d taken advantage of Susie. He’d left her sister in a terrible way. Her reputation would be in tatters, if it wasn't already. Why hadn't Mama mentio
ned anything about this?
"Does Mama know?"
“About the baby? No." Susie shrugged. "She's probably found my letter by now. But I'm not going back."
"Susie, you have to. Mama and Papa will help you take care of the baby. I'll send money home."
Cecilia’s mind spun, unable to process this news and spinning out in a dozen different directions, trying to think of a way to make this terrible situation right.
"I'm never going home." Susie’s voice was like ice. "I came because I thought maybe you would go with me to Sheridan. I thought maybe you would be happy for me. I've fallen in love."
Oh, Susie. What her sister felt couldn't be love. What kind of a man would coerce a young, vulnerable woman to abandon her morals like Susie had? Obviously Susie had been deluded into believing his feelings for her were real. But for him to get Susie with child? He must be a terrible person. Definitely not someone Susie should marry.
"Susie, I can't. I have another week of teaching before the winter break. And I promised Mama and Papa that I would come home. You could stay. Come home to the boardinghouse with me. You can stay the week and then go home with me. We can explain everything to them together."
Susie stood and wrapped her coat back around her tightly. "This was a mistake, coming here. I should've known that you would be just as judgmental as Mama. You've always judged me harshly. You never let me be the person I want to be."
You can’t tell me what to do. Susie’s words were an adult version of Ruth’s statement and cut so deeply that for a moment Cecilia was unable to breathe.
By the time she caught her breath, Susie was halfway out the door.
"Susie, wait!"
Cecilia ran to follow.
Susie was already using the stirrup to boost herself onto a saddled horse.
"Wait," Cecilia cried.
But Susie kicked her mount and galloped away.
Cecilia couldn't control the tears now running down her cheeks. She had to stop Susie from making a big mistake. A bigger mistake than the one she’d already made.
She needed John's help.
Winning the Schoolmarm: Wyoming Legacy (Wind River Hearts Book 14) Page 13
