Donal didn’t reply to her. Instead, he took a deep breath, and then he seemed to deflate a little, slumping against the wall.
“I dinnae ken,” he admitted. “I . . . I lost many men today, Ishbel. I lost all of them because of her, and . . . and ye didnae ken her, not in the same way that Angus and I did. She was an evil woman.”
“I’m sure,” Ishbel said. “Yet another reason for Angus to despise her as much as you do, perhaps more. Don’t forget what she did to him. I’m sure that he hasn’t forgotten.”
There was a pause between them, and then Donal turned to look at her, a sheepish look on his face. “Did he tell ye what I said about ye?”
“You said something about me?” Ishbel asked, raising an eyebrow at that. “No . . . no, he didn’t.”
“I told him that he only married ye because ye reminded him of her,” Donal confessed.
He seemed almost scared, then, looking at her with wide, apologetic eyes, and Ishbel couldn’t possibly feel offended by that, not when she knew that Donal didn’t mean it. It was simply something that he had told Angus in the heat of the moment, something that even he didn’t believe.
“That’s quite alright,” she assured him. “It certainly isn’t true, but we all say things that we don’t mean sometimes. And you didn’t mean it, did you?”
Donal shook his head. “Nay . . . nay, of course, I didnae mean it. Forgive me, Ishbel.”
“I forgive you,” she assured him. “But it’s not me that you should ask for forgiveness. It’s Angus.”
Donal let out a heavy sigh, and even though he had already admitted that he hadn’t meant any of the things that he had said, he still seemed hesitant to talk to Angus.
“I dinnae ken what I’ll tell him when I see him,” he admitted. “I ken that it isnae his fault, but all the men that I lost today . . . I canna help but think that they would still be alive if I had nae taken them to that battle. I canna help but think that I should have gone on me own.”
“Those men would have followed you anywhere, Donal, whether you wanted it or not,” Ishbel pointed out. “They would have done anything for you because you’re a good Laird and a kind man. You didn’t ask them to do anything that they wouldn’t have done willingly on their own.”
Once again, Donal fell silent as he considered Ishbel’s words. She was fine with that, though. As long as he wasn’t speaking, it meant that he was thinking, and perhaps even coming to his senses.
“I suppose yer right, lass,” Donal said with a small shrug, though he didn’t sound too convinced about it. “Weel . . . that means nothing if Angus doesnae wish to talk to me, though. How am I supposed to talk to him if he doesnae even wish to see me?”
“He wants to talk to you,” Ishbel assured him, even though she wasn’t too certain about that. Perhaps Angus had brought up the excuse that Donal wouldn’t want to see him simply because he was the one who didn’t want to see and speak to Donal.
It didn’t matter, though. Ishbel was his wife, and she knew what was best for him when it came to such matters.
“Are ye certain?”
“Absolutely.”
It took Donal a few moments before he finally relented, nodding and standing up, before he offered his arm to Ishbel. “Alright, then . . . shall we go find him?”
“You want me to come with you?” Ishbel asked as she took the arm that he had offered her, looping her own around it. “You should talk to him yourself, Donal, I—”
“Please.”
It was a simple word, but Donal had uttered it in such a way that Ishbel could hardly refuse. She nodded, and the two of them began to walk back to the castle, and up to their chambers, where Ishbel knocked gently on the door.
“Come in.”
Angus’ voice came through the door, and Ishbel opened it, stepping inside and pulling Donal along, even though he seemed to resist a little. Angus was standing by the bed, buttoning up the last few buttons of his shirt, but he froze when he saw that Donal was there, too.
“Ishbel—”
“Don’t say anything, Angus,” Ishbel warned him. “Not to me, at least. It’s time for the two of you two to stop this.”
Then, before either man could say anything more, she left and closed the door behind her, leaning against it to stop them from escaping.
They would only leave that room once they would be friends again, she decided. If they wanted to act like children, then she would treat them as such.
Soon, though, her exhaustion caught up with Ishbel. Now that Angus had returned and she knew that he was unharmed, she could finally rest without worrying about any more nightmares, and she soon began to nod off where she sat right in front of the door.
At first, she had wanted to eavesdrop on the two men, to make sure that they wouldn’t make everything worse if they were left to their own devices. Sleep was such a sweet temptation, though, and she decided that she would close her eyes just for a little while, just so that they didn’t burn and ache.
Then, next thing she knew, she was falling. Ishbel woke up with a start, gasping as she caught herself mid-fall, and it took her a few moments to realize what was happening and where she was.
She didn’t know how much time had passed since she had fallen asleep, but Angus had opened the door, and the moment he did, Ishbel fell backward. She blinked a few times before she looked up at him from where she was half-lying on the floor, and she saw the matching grins of amusement on the two men’s faces.
Good, she thought; that meant that they had resolved everything.
“I forgot the door opened that way,” she mumbled, just as Angus helped her back on her feet. She dusted herself, her hands smoothing over the wrinkles on her dress, and then she looked at them expectantly, hoping that she would get the news that she wanted. “So . . . is everything alright between the two of you?”
“Weel . . . there wasnae much to talk about,” Angus said.
“What do you mean?” Ishbel asked. She could have sworn that she had been there for at least half an hour. “How long have you been talking?”
“About five minutes,” Donal said, and Angus confirmed that with a nod. “After ye spoke to us, there wasnae much for us to resolve. I believe ye resolved everything yerself, Ishbel, whether ye kent it or nay.”
Ishbel hummed, impressed with her own efforts. She had to admit that she was quite proud of herself; it was never easy to make two stubborn men like Angus and Donal admit that they had both overreacted.
“Ye should have some rest, Ishbel,” Angus said. “I ken that ye havenae been sleeping weel. Have some rest, and when it’s time for the burials, I’ll have the servants wake ye.”
“Angus, no . . . no, I should be there, with you,” Ishbel said. She didn’t want him to go through such a thing on his own, to have all that burden fall on him. Before Angus could protest, though, Donal spoke.
“I’ll be with him,” he told her. “It’s alright, Ishbel. Ye’ve done enough, more than enough. Get some rest.”
As long as Angus and Donal had each other, Ishbel could rest for a while, she thought. Before she could do that, though, she still had a duty to fulfill.
“I must speak to Mairead first,” she said. “It’s only right for her to find out about Euan from me, before she can hear it from anyone else.”
Neither Angus nor Donal could argue with that, so Ishbel braced herself, and then she began to search for Mairead. Unfortunately, she found her in the courtyard, and before Ishbel could do anything, Mairead had already stepped up to the cart that held Euan.
The cry that left her lips was one that seemed to shake the entire castle. Ishbel had heard that sound a few times in her life, twice from her own lips, and many others from other women who had lost their lovers or their children.
It had never become any easier to hear that sound. It always had the same overwhelming, heart-wrenching effect on her, and she couldn’t help but rush to Mairead, grabbing her just before her knees gave out.
“Hush, now
,” Ishbel said softly, letting Mairead scream and thrash in her arms. She held her tightly, and then she dragged her away from the cart so that she wouldn’t have to see Euan’s face anymore, bloated and strange looking as it already was.
“Nay!” Mairead screamed. “Nay! Let me see him . . . Ishbel, let me go to him, please! I beg ye.”
“No,” Ishbel said firmly. It would do no good for her to remember Euan in such a way. She should remember him the way he was when he was alive, Ishbel thought, and she knew that once that image of him lying dead in that cart had burned itself into her mind, she would never be able to forget it.
It was what had happened to her and her uncle. She wished that someone would have whisked her away sooner, as she could never remember him the way he was when he was alive anymore. All she could remember was his blank, expressionless face, with the glassy eyes that looked at nothing in particular.
“Come now,” she told Mairead softly, as she tried to pull her even further away. Mairead was a dead weight in her arms, though, refusing to be moved. “Mairead, come. Come, you shouldn’t see him like this.”
Eventually, Mairead relented, and she allowed Ishbel to pull her back into the castle. Ishbel took the girl to her chambers, and she made her lie down before she ran to the castle’s healer, asking for something to help Mairead sleep.
Ishbel stayed with her, stroking her hair as she sipped on the concoction that the healer had created for her until Mairead closed her eyes and slumped against her. Then, she stayed there for some more time, just to make sure that the other would be alright, and she only left her chambers when she was certain that Mairead was in a deep sleep.
Of course, her relief wouldn’t last long, and Ishbel was well aware of that. Once she would awaken, the same pain would rush back to her, crashing over her like a wave that would threaten to drown her if she couldn’t keep herself afloat. Ishbel knew that well, as she had gone through the exact same thing when her uncle had died.
Had it not been for Angus, helping her through those days after her uncle’s death, then Ishbel didn’t know how she could have possibly survived. At that moment, she decided that she had to be for Mairead what Angus had been for her. She had to drag the girl back to the world of the living, whether she liked it or not, and she had to ensure that she wouldn’t starve or isolate herself to death.
It was easier said than done, of course, especially when Ishbel had her new duties as the Lady of the clan. She was certain that Angus and the rest of the clan would understand, though; they would understand that right then, her priority was Mairead.
Ishbel took one last look at Mairead, laying in her bed before she closed the door. It occurred to her then that perhaps she didn’t know what Mairead was going through at all. After all, she may have lost her uncle, but she hadn’t lost Angus.
She couldn’t even imagine what she would do if Angus had died in that battle, but she knew that whatever would happen to her, whatever she would feel, it would be much worse than when her uncle had died.
She didn’t know what she would have done; she didn’t want to think about it.
The good thing was that she didn’t have to, she reminded herself. She didn’t have to, because Angus was right there, with her, and they had the rest of their lives to live together.
Epilogue
The funerals of the men had made for a difficult day for everyone in the castle. They all mourned for their fallen brothers, but some, like Mairead, Angus, and Donal were inconsolable.
Ishbel didn’t try to make anything seem easier for any of them. She knew that they all needed time, and that given enough time, they would be able to think back to the moments that they had spent with the people that they loved and had lost without being overwhelmed by grief.
She and Angus had made sure to bury the men with every honor that they could. Donal had decided to bury his own fallen men there, too, as it would take him days to ride back to the Cameron keep, and by then, their bodies would have decomposed too much for comfort. Still, it was better than burying them in a battlefield, in a camp that belonged to their enemies.
Ishbel didn’t ask what they had done with Vika’s and Hamish’s bodies, and she didn’t want to know. She had noticed, though, that they weren’t among the ones that they had brought back with them, and neither were any men from the Keith clan. Something told her that Angus and Donal hadn’t even taken the time to bury them, and had instead left them there for the vultures, something that wouldn’t surprise her.
After the funerals, she and Angus decided that they would have to wait with the wedding celebrations, even though they were eager for everyone to celebrate their love. It simply didn’t seem right to have any festivities so soon after the funerals.
It took them two full weeks to decide to finally announce that there would be celebrations for their wedding. By that time, Donal and his men were already on their way back home, and even though Ishbel knew that Angus would have wanted him there, she would try her best to make that day as special as she could for both of them.
The celebrations were grander than any other the clan had seen in a long time. Everyone went above and beyond expectations, and the servants had prepared a true feast for everyone in the clan, along with games, songs, and dancing. Ishbel had never seen anything like it in her life, and she could hardly believe that it was all for her and Angus.
“A dance, Lady MacMillan?” Angus asked her, offering her his hand. Ishbel took it gladly, and she let Angus lead her to where the other clansmen and women were dancing, joining them as they spun around the floor.
She laughed like she hadn’t laughed in a long time, and she could see that Angus was happy, too, in the way that his eyes crinkled every time that he looked at her. It was all that she could have ever asked for, the two of them, happier than they could have ever thought they would be.
The two of them celebrated all day and night, but once half of the clansmen were too drunk to stand and half of the women had already retired to their chambers, Ishbel was overtaken by a desire to be alone with Angus.
She looked at him with a mischievous smile on her lips, and she took his hand in hers, before she stood, the two of them quickly making their way out of the hall, while trying—and failing—to not be noticed by those who were still awake, still celebrating.
Ishbel was tipsy with wine and drunk with love, and she smashed her lips against Angus’ own as she tried to kiss him. They were tangled up in each other as they barrelled through the door of their chambers, but somehow they managed to make their way to the bed, Angus falling down onto the mattress first as Ishbel collapsed on top of him.
“We are properly wed the noo, lass,” Angus said, whispering in her ear. “Do ye ken what that means?”
Ishbel shook her head, laughing softly as Angus’ hand made its way to her buttocks, pawing at her drunkenly.
“It means that we can lay together!” Angus said with such excitement that Ishbel couldn’t help but laugh again, this time, her entire body shaking with it.
“We have already laid together,” she reminded him. “More than once.”
“Aye, but this time, it’s sanctioned by the church,” Angus pointed out, as though it had ever mattered to them.
Ishbel soon realized that she couldn’t stop giggling, even as Angus began to undress her. When he kissed her again, though, she could only moan against his lips, loud and wanton, her body rolling against his own as she asked for more.
It took them a long time to get rid of their clothes, their hands uncoordinated as they struggled with the laces and the buttons. Throughout the entire time, they were both laughing, simply out of their excitement.
It was all over. There were no more battles, no more wars for Angus to fight. It was just the two of them, then, and they could do as they pleased; they could be together.
When Angus threw the last piece of clothing that separated them from each other onto the floor, Ishbel immediately reached for him, her hands cupping his face as she kiss
ed him sweetly. Angus’ movements were hasty, but so were hers, and she decided that she wanted him right then and there.
Ishbel reached for Angus, taking his length in her hand. She stroked him a few times, feeling the weight of him in her palm, and then she guided him to her cleft, a breathless sigh leaving her lips as she sank down onto him.
Even though they had been intimate before, Ishbel was always just as surprised by the sensation of Angus inside her as she had been the first time. She looked down at him, seeing the way his eyes were wide, wild with lust, and then she rolled her hips slowly, torturously, drawing a moan out of him.
Ishbel continued her slow rhythm, moving her hips over and over as Angus cupped her breasts with his hands. She leaned closer to him, then, and she kissed him, just as slowly and languidly as she was rolling her hips.
Highlander’s Veiled Bride: Scottish Medieval Highlander Romance (Highland Seductresses Book 2) Page 24
