“Greetings! Here is your schedule. You have about an hour and a half to get settled and then we’ll begin the tour. We’ll also meet back here in this same spot before the mixer this evening.” I tried not to audibly groan. “Now go ahead over to the table just inside and they’ll give you your room assignment.”
Gwen and I got our room number and key and found our spot. She flopped on her bed and started scrolling through her phone and I kept myself busy by unpacking the few items I brought with me.
“What’s the first order of business?” I asked.
“Campus tour,” she stated apathetically. “Jake needs to get his ass up here.” I dropped what I was doing and gawked at her.
“Jake is coming?”
“Yeah. It’s not a big deal.” She hardly looked up from her phone. “He’s seriously thinking of going here and we figured we’d sneak in a little face time,” she said with an evil grin.
“You have to promise me that if it comes to it, my needs will trump his. Promise.” I stood with my hands on my hips like a stubborn child.
“Fine. I promise. Let’s grab some food before the tour.”
I grabbed my coat and slid into it, pulling the hood over my head. I’d just have to watch Gwen eat since my stomach was already full of knots.
Chapter 15
After witnessing Gwen murder a stack of pancakes from The Galaxy Diner, we headed out to our tour around campus. Both of us were only half heartedly paying attention to our very enthusiastic tour guide. I was freaking out about exposing myself to everyone’s feels and Gwen was busy trying to track Jake down. He had arrived late and missed the start of the tour, but by the time we got to the arts and humanities building, he had caught up with us. I felt like a third wheel as soon as he arrived.
We toured the journalism building and then the common areas before we broke for lunch. The dining hall was buzzing with students and other high school kids on a tour like us. I forced myself to nibble on some pretzels and a chocolate chip cookie while Gwen found room for two slices of pizza. She even finished the last few bites of Jake’s sandwich.
“We have free time before the mixer. They’re offering a bunch of sample lectures and Q and A’s in different classes,” I said, reading the agenda.
“I think Jake and I are going to go on a walk,” Gwen said, looking directly at him with a devious look.
“Gwen and I can walk you to your room though,” he offered. I liked him a lot better than Trey already.
“I’ll be okay. Just please be back in time to get ready for the mixer,” I begged.
I looked at the list of lectures and nothing seemed interesting, except for the Literature Department’s assigned reading segment. I decided I would check it out and followed my map to the building it was in. A professor was standing in the doorway with a group of students. He shook hands and patted their arms as they entered the room. I turned around and tried to sneak away, but I wasn’t fast enough.
“Looking for assigned reading?” he asked. I looked around, just to make absolutely sure he was talking to me.
“Yes,” I mumbled.
“You found it! Come on in.” He patted my back as I walked in and I tried not to visibly shiver as he did. The feelings he gave off weren’t terrible, but he was excited and enthusiastic- probably about the talk he was about to give. I slid into a seat in the back and pulled out a notebook and pen. I wasn’t sure if we were taking notes, but I liked having something to keep my hands busy.
It wasn’t a very full lecture but I could picture the room easily crowded with students. This professor engaged his audience as he spoke about the assigned reading for college classes. He was a great salesman, making every story sound like an adventure we should all be taking. I was pretty impressed with myself for having read most of what he listed.
He started speaking about Virginia Woolf and my hand immediately started writing down my favorite quote from her work. “I want to write a novel about silence,” he said. “About the things people don’t say.”
“Ah, The Voyage Out,” I heard the professor say. He was standing behind me. I looked around and noticed that the room was emptying out. “That’s one of my favorites from her as well.”
“Yes, I’m a big fan. Really of all the classics.”
“Oh good. You’ll fit right in. What are you planning to study?” he asked with a raise of his eyebrows.
“I’m not sure yet. Possibly English or maybe art,” I said with a shrug.
“Well, you’ll be in good hands here either way. Did you enjoy the lecture?”
“Yes, sir. Thank you for hosting it. I should get back to my visitor group.” I got up and gathered my things, stuffing the notebook into my bag.
“I’m Professor Gregg,” he said, holding his hand out. I reluctantly shook it and got the same mix of emotions as when I walked in. “I hope to see you in the future.”
I found a secluded spot outside and took a huge sigh of relief once I was alone. The experience with Professor Gregg wasn’t as terrible as some encounters could be, but I was exhausted from it and that had me nervous for the evening. I headed back to the dorm and found Gwen saying goodbye to Jake as I arrived.
“Where’s he going?” I asked.
“He’s going to meet us there. Did you bring the dress I told you to wear?”
“Yes,” I pouted. I took the black, ballerina style dress out of its bag and hung it on the closet door. I hadn’t worn anything formal since a distant cousin’s wedding and this was the same dress I wore to it. I turned around with my back facing Gwen and slipped out of my clothes.
“Prude,” she teased.
“I’m not used to changing in front of everyone like you are.”
“It’s pretty cramped behind the runway.”
“Whatever. How does it look?” I turned around after I was fully covered and hoped it would work.
“Nice, St. George.” Gwen helped me pull my hair back into a loose bun and did some make up magic on me before she slipped into her form fitting, black dress with a plunging back that showed her off in all the right places. I was nervous about the cut of the sweetheart neckline I was wearing and pulled my coat around me a little tighter to hide in it.
I stood at the edge of the concrete steps that led to a glass walled room. There was a soft glow coming from within and I could see a large number of people were already inside laughing and mingling. I watched as more people filed into the reception hall we were about to walk into and I had a sudden urge to run in the opposite direction. I willed my legs to walk up the steps.
“You ready?” Gwen asked when she saw my wide eyed expression. “And you know you’ll have to take that off once we get inside, right?” I hadn’t even realized that I was clutching my coat tight.
“Right,” I whispered. We walked into the elegant hall and made a stop at the coat check. I could still bolt if I wanted to, but I took a deep breath and braced myself for what was next.
There was no down time. The moment we entered the main room we found what looked like a receiving line of greeters, all there to welcome us and shake our hands. Two younger women who were dressed very conservatively stopped us and introduced themselves as representatives from Alpha Phi. Their handshakes were loose and impersonal and I didn’t have to have any special ability to sense that they didn’t want to be there. All I felt from them was distraction. I was used to that one. It wasn’t uncommon for people to be thinking about someone else or wishing they could be somewhere else.
I took a deep breath and recovered a little, but it didn’t last long. A professor who ran the bio-science lab was next to introduce himself. He gave us each a hearty and firm handshake. I could tell from the enthusiasm radiating from him that he was like Professor Gregg- excited to be in a room with so many young minds. He kept his pitch of the science program short and excused himself when another new face popped up. I took that moment to turn to Gwen and frown.
“Tell me why I thought this was a good idea?” I complained.
“Because you want to kiss boys.”
“That is not the only reason!” I half shouted, half whispered through clenched teeth.
“You wanted to dive right in instead of warm up, so let’s do this.”
We circled the room, shaking hands with anyone who seemed open to it, which was everyone. After an hour and a half of small talk it got boring and I was able to anticipate what I was in for with each exposure. Gwen’s eyes lit up when she spotted Jake across the room talking to some other guys who looked a little older.
“Go,” I said. “You’re off the hook.”
“Are you sure? He can live without me for a while.”
“Positive. I’m doing one more round and I’ll head back to the room.”
“Okay. Find me before you go.”
I went to the refreshment table and a group of guys in polo shirts and blazers with the Sigma Phi symbols were chatting with each other. They were a little louder than most of the people I had been introduced to and from the way they were talking I felt like they were having a party within a party. My suspicions were confirmed when one pulled out a flask.
“Uh-oh. I think we’re busted,” one of the guys said as he laughed. He was looking right at me with a smirk. I tried to play it off and ignore him, but the boy he was speaking to turned to look at me.
“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” Their entire group turned to face me and I couldn’t help but notice how clean cut each one of them were. “Looks like a future Pledge for one of our sister sororities,” he said as he held his hand out for me to shake. Something didn’t feel right before I even touched him and I reluctantly obliged, giving him my hand. It only took a fraction of a second to feel what this guy was about and I had to stop myself from flinching out of his grip. It wasn’t just him though. The things he and his friends were thinking radiated off of them and started making me sick. They were there to get lucky and were smug about it. I stammered an excuse and pulled myself away from them as fast as I could without running.
I glanced around the room, but I didn’t see Gwen anywhere. I was feeling faint from all of the introductions and decided I couldn’t wait around for her to turn up. I headed out to the steps and the cold night air felt good against my skin. I sent Gwen a text and told her to grab our coats then I sat down and pulled my knees up to my chest in an attempt to keep warm.
The frustration I was feeling at being afraid to retrieve my own coat got the best of me and I broke down. I tried to hide my face and the fact that I was crying from the few people standing around. My head was still swirling with the overwhelming sensation of all the exposure when I felt a light touch on my arm. That was all it took for me to lose it.
“Don’t touch me!” I snapped as I closed my eyes and cowered away.
“Jane?” I heard Riley whisper in concern. I looked up with blurred vision and it really was him. A few people stood around and watched us and I cringed at the scene I had caused.
“Hey. What happened?” He asked, then a second later Riley was sitting next to me and draping a jacket over my shoulders. I looked over at him in disbelief as I wiped my eyes with my hand.
“How?” I finally managed to ask in a cracked voice. He reached his hand toward my face and I winced, but I felt comfort and it was completely unexpected and completely perfect. He wrapped his arms around me and let me have my little break down. As he pulled me closer the comfort mixed in with concern and I needed to pull away a little.
“It’s okay,” he said, in a soft voice.
“I...I just wasn’t ready for all of that,” I blurted out as he comforted me.
“God, you’re shaking like crazy. Did something happen?” I could hear an edge in his voice that he was trying to mask.
“It was just... really overwhelming.” It was a stupid answer but I was saved from saying any more when I felt my phone buzz. It was Gwen saying she was on her way out. A second later she was running down the steps in her heels with Jake behind her, holding our coats.
“Oh my gosh! What happened?” she asked, slightly out of breath.
“I can’t go back in there. I did what I came to do and I can’t.”
She nodded and grabbed my coat from Jake. “Okay. Let’s get you back to the dorm.” I took off Riley’s jacket and that’s when she realized he was with us. “Where the hell did you come from?”
“I heard there was a college tour this weekend, so I figured why not?” he answered, but Gwen was eyeing him suspiciously.
“You and Jake stay. I just need the dorm key. I’m going back and going to bed,” I said.
“Are you sure?”
“I’ll walk her,” Riley offered.
“Guys, I’ll be fine. I just need some rest,” I insisted.
“You’ll get some as soon as I get you back to the room,” Riley said.
Gwen finally agreed, reluctantly, and he and I were on our way, walking in the cold under the cover of bright stars.
“So, what was that all about back there?” he asked as we got closer to the guest dorms.
“What?”
“You ‘did what you came for’?”
I was hoping he hadn’t caught that, but I should have known better. I had no idea of how to answer him. He stopped walking and tugged on my jacket to stop me. He looked at me as he waited for an answer.
“I ...it’s sort of personal. I just need to get used to...being around people.” It was the closest answer to the truth because lying to him felt really wrong for some reason. He looked at me and stuffed his hands in his pockets. I watched as he looked up at the sky. A frustrated smile was on his face but he didn’t press anymore.
“Let’s get you to your room.”
No one questioned us as Riley and I entered the guest dorms together. I unlocked the door, half expecting to find someone inside and ready to kick him out, but other than the sleeping night attendant, we were on our own...and I didn’t want him to go.
“Where are you staying?” I asked.
“Ridley Hall, across campus.” Part of me was hoping we were in the same building.
“Okay. Well, thank you for walking me.”
“Goodnight.” He turned and started walking away and I made the snap decision to call after him.
“Wait!” He turned around with curiosity on his face and walked back in my direction. “Can you stay for a bit?”
A smile spread across his face and we went inside.
Chapter 16
I pulled out my laptop and offered to load up a movie we could watch.
“Good idea, Little Imp. What are our choices?”
I scrolled through the titles and listened as he disapproved of most with a “nu-uh” sound.
“Wait! Stop. You have The Shining?” he asked as he took my laptop away and clicked on the movie.
“Yes. Why is that such a shocker?”
“I don’t know. I pegged you for the Victorian romance or John Hughes movie kind of person.”
“Well, I have plenty of that too.”
We sat side by side on the bed with our backs against the wall as the movie played. I was paying absolutely no attention to it because a million other things were running through my head. Riley didn’t say a word the whole time and I wondered if his mind was as busy as mine. He inadvertently ended up shoulder to shoulder with me after he stretched and what I felt from him felt like a tonic intended to relax me.
“Why are you always there? Right when I’m falling apart?” I asked in a sleepy voice as soon as we got to the bar scene where Johnny meets Lloyd. Riley sighed a heavy sigh and hit pause. He took a moment to stretch again then turned to look at me.
“Maybe you’re always falling apart and it’s just a coincidence.”
“I only started to fall apart when I started hanging out with you.”
He narrowed his eyes at me and shook his head. Then he leaned in closer, his face only inches from mine. “And why would that be, Jane?” His proximity made my heart race a little and I jumped up from
where I was sitting. He rolled his eyes in frustration as he stood up. “One of these days you’re going to tell me what that’s all about.” He grabbed his jacket and opened the door. “Goodnight Jane.”
I wasn’t able to make a response come out of my mouth. Riley had left me completely speechless and confused. Gwen got back just moments after he left and I was still in the same spot on the bed, still wearing a completely bewildered look on my face.
“What’s up with you?” she asked.
I only shook my head in response.
“Spill.” It was a simple command and I reluctantly told her the details of Riley’s visit, only making it seem worse in my own mind.
“Tomorrow morning we’re going to the breakfast send-off and you’re getting more practice in. This is getting ridiculous.”
“I know. I feel horrible. He was only here to help me and I jumped away from him like he has The Plague.” I groaned out loud, remembering the frustrated and hurt look on his face.
Gwen tried to convince me that I was probably making a big deal out of nothing and that we should get some sleep. The next day we would try again, and I would have to deal with it because she wasn’t letting me off the hook.
We woke up bright and early and loaded up the car before we headed to breakfast. As we entered the dining hall we saw several student groups making the rounds as they chatted with the visiting High School kids. I could already feel my nerves jumping to attention, but I took my tray and got in line to get my food. My hands shook as I held it.
Gwen and I ordered our food and she navigated us to a crowded table in the center of the hall. I looked at her like she was insane.
“Hiding in the back isn’t going to help you get over this crap,” she said as she walked. I narrowed my eyes at her and followed along. It only took a few minutes for a group of students with pamphlets for some campus club to make their way over to us. I took a deep breath and tried to ready myself.
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