One look and she’s up, “Ever, what’s the matter.”
“Nothing” I tell her and find a spot in the group so she can’t pressure me anymore.
She sits next to me and leans over to whisper, “Hey if you want to talk about it, I’m here.”
I nod. Talk about it ugh. I can’t talk to anyone and the only person I want to talk to is suddenly missing. I try to get into the conversation. They’re talking about our first two games, one win and one loss. At least it’s a start.
Then a girl in the group, Meredith asks me, “Hey, Ever, who is that guy I’ve seen you hanging around with lately?”
I stumble over my words, “Um just a new guy that is in two of my classes. I’ve been helping him with class stuff.”
She replies, “Oh, he’s kinda cute.”
I wince and nod.
She changes the subject when she realizes I have nothing more to say and asks, “Well, are you going to Julia’s party?”
I must look confused because she says, “You know the party tonight, after the game.”
Oh yeah, I think I heard something about that.
“Um, not sure.”
Gabbbi nudges me and speaks up, “Of course she’s going.”
She gives me her cheer up look.
Then I remember, “Actually, Julia is kinda mad at me right now, I blew her off in biology. Don’t think I’m invited.”
Meredith laughs and tells everyone, “Since when is Julia not mad at someone. You should go, she’s probably mad at someone new today.”
I laugh with everyone but really, have no intention of attending Julia’s party.
***
Gabbi wins this one, I suddenly find myself stuck in Gabbi’s passenger seat while Reggie follows us in the Jeep. She cornered me after the game and forced me, well not forced, but guilted me into agreeing to ride to the party with her. Yes, the party I was not going to.
She starts when we are on our way, “So what’s the deal, Ever? I see depression creeping back in. Did something happen with Jack? I thought you were happy and finally over Michael. By the way where is Jack, I haven’t seen him all week.”
I need to tread carefully. I don’t need any told ya so, from Gabbi, because she actually did tell me, kind of.
I lie, “Actually Jack has been out of town visiting his dad and I just… miss him.” Believable considering; I nor anyone else know anything about his family. She looks forward because she is driving, but gives me that, oh that explains it nod.
“Well cheer up girl he’ll be back soon, right?”
I nod, although I have no clue.
“Yeah, I think he will be back in school on Monday.”
At least that buys me the weekend.
We pull up to Julia’s house. She throws a party it seems almost every other weekend. Although I can’t understand why, she hates everyone. Gabbi seems to think she is the way she is because she’s an only child and doesn’t have the benefit of a sibling, like the rest of us. Well if anyone wants to know, not caring for my own sibling at the moment. Not to mention, Gabbi is an only and turned out just fine.
We get out as Reggie pulls the jeep up on the other side of the street. I glance up at the house. This is one of the nicest areas in Pahrump. It looks like a combination of my house and Gabbi’s. It’s really long but also two story and brick. This is the neighborhood that doesn’t fit with the whole desert scenery thing. Who would build a brick house in the desert, go figure. Reggie grabs Gabbi’s hand and we start up the walk.
We knock and who answers but my ex lab partner.
“Well, hi guys. Ever” and she smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
If that wasn’t obvious, yep, still mad at me.
She directs us, “You know where everything is…soda in the kitchen…keg in the back…oh and here’s the basket.”
She holds up the basket where we relinquish our car keys. I grab mine back out after Reggie drops them in, when Julia turns to look at someone calling her name. I have no intention of ingesting alcohol tonight. I’m having a hard enough time dealing with things as it is.
I follow Reggie and Gabbi through the house to the kitchen and grab a soda. They find a group to talk to and I turn to look around. Big mistake, I spot Michael with Brittany. They are laughing with a group of his teammates. They won tonight so they should definitely celebrate. I turn back to Gabbi and start to get into the conversation.
Suddenly I feel a hand in the small of my back. I start to smile and then realize I didn’t feel anything, no shock or warmth. It can’t be Jack. Oh great. I turn and find Jason leaning over, about three inches from my face. I can smell beer on his breath.
He says loudly and animated, I’m gathering so his friends can hear him, “Ever Harding, I can’t believe you want to go upstairs with me, didn’t you just break up with your boyfriend!”
And he starts laughing. I can feel a dozen pairs of eyes on me including Michael’s. I just shake my head completely embarrassed. Obviously he’s getting the reaction from me he wanted. Suddenly, I feel electricity coming from my left shoulder. I turn around and there he is.
He grins down at me and then looks at Jason saying, “Hey bro, I can take it from here.”
Jason glares at him and says louder this time, “Oh so you’re gonna go upstairs with this dude instead, slut.”
I just roll my eyes and before anything else can happen I put both hands on Jack’s chest and give him a small push backwards. He gets the hint and grabs my hand. Yes. He pulls me through the crowd of people towards the back door.
When we get out into the yard out of earshot, I lay into him, “Where have you been? I thought you left, forever.”
At this point, I can feel tears, oh great, “I never got a chance to tell you whether I wanted you to leave or not, and you still left.”
He just stands there with his beautiful blues staring and grinning the whole time. He takes me in his arms and holds me. Tears stream down my cheeks and I take a deep breath, not understanding how he can affect me this way.
He pulls away and looks at me still holding my hands, “I knew you needed space, so I stayed away for a little while. I never actually left; I was watching you the whole time.”
My mouth drops, “What, you have been here the whole time?”
He nods his head, “Yes, Ever, that is my job…for the next two weeks.”
I can see some green creep into his eyes.
I say with panic, “Two weeks, what are you talking about? You aren’t leaving. I don’t want you to go.”
He tries to wrap his arms around me again but I push him away.
I whisper with as much authority as I can, “I want answers, now!”
He looks around, “Not here, let’s go.”
I follow his little yellow car in the jeep to the park across from the school. It should be empty at this time of night. When we get there, I notice there is only one park light still lit. The others must have burnt out or are broken from mischievous teenagers.
We head for the bench. I sit and Jack stays standing almost pacing in front of me.
I say urgently, “Just spit it out.”
He stops and squats down so he’s eye level with me. Still green, this can’t be good. He grabs my hands, electricity… feeling much better now. I smell , he’s his fresh ocean scent, he's so close.
“Okay, Ever, here it is…I am what is known in the sea as a guardian and right now you are who I am watching over.”
Not exactly what I was expecting.
He continues, “In two weeks, you will turn eighteen, at that point you will choose to either stay here on land and remain human, or change directions and live in the sea as a mermaid.”
I kinda already knew from our conversation on the beach, but hearing it laid out, makes me start to freak. I pull my hands away and stand. He stands up and just looks at me with pain in his eyes. How can he know how I feel right now. This is unbelievable; I was trying to avoid this.
I look up an
d ask the only thing that matters to me right now, “Are you leaving after my birthday, will I ever see you again?”
He takes a deep breath, “I have to leave if you choose to stay human. You will have no memory of me. If you choose to leave, you will live in the sea and your memory won’t be gone, but you won’t be able to come back.”
I sit down. I can’t live without him but to go and live in the sea and lose…my family…It is unfathomable.
He sits down next to me and wraps his arms around me. This time I don’t push him away. I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. I have a huge choice, how could this happen?
12
Monsters
The next week flies by. Jack doesn’t leave my side when we aren’t in school, except of course at night. I don’t think my parents would go for a sleep over. We drive to the lake after school everyday and swim for hours. He has filled me in, a little, on some of the feelings I’ve been having, as related to water. I always knew that I felt refreshed after swimming, but I just thought the exercise was what did it. I was wrong; water is like an energy source for merpeople. Fresh water does the job but saltwater is really a huge source for them, hence my reaction at the beach, go figure. I can’t imagine how it would feel, to actually live in it.
I get it into my head that I need one more trip to the beach, before I make this life altering decision. We scheme to ask my parents for another trip this Saturday. On Thursday we head home after school and run into James in the kitchen. He looks up when we walk in. He is actually looking a little bit better lately. His eyes look different, no circles, maybe he is adjusting to the boy change thing.
When Jack sees him he has a surprised look, but quickly smiles and says, “Hey James, how are you?”
James gets up and walks out without acknowledging us.
I apologize, “Sorry he is so rude to you.”
He shrugs his shoulders, smiles and says, “Teenagers.”
Jack suggests we head to the pool to swim. When we get there it’s almost deserted. We only have about thirty minutes until it closes but I talk the head lifeguard into letting us stay for a while longer, as long as we lock up the pool area.
Once we’re alone, I tell him with a wink, “I think I have found the key to beating you.”
I dive in not giving him a chance to respond. He dives in after me and chases me to the end of the pool. I am about to climb back out but he grabs my foot and pulls me back in. I squeal with laughter as I fall back in. Then I’m in his arms and his mouth is covering mine. Warmth spreads throughout my limbs. We fall back under water. I panic and pull away needing air. I swim back to the surface and search for him. He is still underwater. I can see him looking up at me with a giant smile. I dive back under but he swims away. He is so fast. I try to catch him but by the time I reach him, he is climbing out of the pool. I climb out and fall into the lounge chair next to him.
I ask the biggest question on my mind these days, well really the most obvious one, “So if you are a…um…mer-person…why do you have legs?”
He starts laughing at me and starts fidgeting with my hand, “I’m on land silly, so I have legs, when I go back home I have a fin.”
He grins and explains further, “I am here only because of you and your impending birthday, to make sure you stay safe to make your choice.”
I raise my eyebrows and ask, “Safe? What am I in danger of?”
He changes the subject and asks, “Do you want to see something else?”
I nod uneasily and note to myself to address the danger issue further. Suddenly his fingers have golden light emanating from them.
I sit straight up and pull my hand away, “I knew I wasn’t crazy!” I exclaim.
The lights go out and he sits up confused.
I explain, “Right before you came to school, I went to the lake to swim and I saw your hands… light up. I thought I was crazy or you must have had some sort of flashlight.”
He looks surprised. “You saw me, but I didn’t see you.”
He smirks, “I guess you must have been really scared”
I push his shoulder. Then he lights his fingers again.
He explains, “Helpful in the water for navigating.”
I look at him amazed.
***
On Saturday we drive over to the beach again. I know what to expect this time, so I can contain myself and help him carry our stuff down. We spend almost all day in the water. He shows me how his “built in flashlights” as I like to think of them, work under water. As I look under water at him, I notice half a dozen fish swimming around him and he almost pets them. Wow, pretty cool. Did I mention the kissing too? We do a lot of that in and out of the water. I am actually partial to under water kissing, exhilarating. By the time we get lunch, I am famished.
Soaking up some rays after lunch, I am determined not to ruin this trip like I did the last one.
I do still have some questions, “Jack, you said it wasn’t your place to tell me about all of this.” I spread my arms around us for effect.
“Who will tell me if you don’t?”
He squirms again. Oh great, I hit a nerve again.
“Ever, your grandmother is coming to tell you about the choices. As I said before I am going against the rules, even letting you know me. My job is to watch over you, until you make your choice in a week.”
When he mentions next week, I suddenly feel very sad. Only a week away and I am no closer to knowing what to do. He notices my mood change, gets up and grabs me, tossing me up over his shoulder. He runs and plows us into the water. I could stay like this forever, but next week is looming.
I am so busy playing in the waves that, I don’t notice Jack isn’t beside me anymore. I turn around to look for him and spot him on the beach at the edge of the woods. How did he get over there so fast? I slowly walk out of the waves and come up behind him, wrapping my arms around his chest. He glances around and turns toward me. Uh oh, green and clouds.
“Ever, we have to get out of here.”
I whine playfully, “But why, I’m having such a wonderful time with you.”
I kiss him but he pulls away.
I frown, “What’s the matter?”
Then something yellow catches my eye in the direction of the woods.
“Ever, we have to leave because…it’s not safe.”
He glances back towards the woods.
I remember something…“You mean like you said someone was watching me at school a couple weeks ago?”
He nods and takes my hand heading toward the water. I realize where we’re going and plant my feet in the sand, with a terrified look on my face.
“Isn’t the car the other way?” I ask.
He says with urgency glancing behind me, “Yes, but we can’t go that way, trust me you will be safe.”
I am so freaked out. I turn around to head toward the car and scream. Coming out of the trees, three sets of yellow eyes and teeth like none I’ve ever seen…
The next thing I know, Jack is carrying me out into the water and we aren’t stopping. He slides me around to his back, so that my arms are around his neck. Suddenly we are soaring through the water, under the water. I’m not gasping like I thought would happen, if I was underwater for this long. I feel like I have plenty of air, impossible. I glance down behind us and I see a very large fin. Jack is a merman, I can feel myself slipping. I feel his grip on my hands tighten and then darkness.
***
When I wake up I am in the passenger seat of the yellow car and Jack is driving.
He glances over and grabs my hand, “Hello sleepyhead.”
I look around confused, the last thing I remember, was when we were swimming away. No, Jack was swimming away from the beach, and those yellow eyes… Then I remember, I look over at him and he squeezes my hand and looks a little worried, the fin.
I ask, “What happened?”
He looks like he’s deciding what to tell me. “Well you fainted in the water and we are
driving home.”
I shake my head, “No, I remember something coming out of the trees and swimming, fast, really fast, and you, you had a…fin… instead of legs.”
He answers, “Well that too.”
He gives me his melty half smile.
I say, “Okay, as long as we’re on the same page.”
I give a half smile, unsure of how I feel about the whole thing.
“By the way…um…Jack, are you going to tell me what that was coming out of the trees?”
He glances at me and explains, “Let’s just say they are the reason I have to watch over you.”
I get a chill down my spine thinking about the eyes, something familiar that I can’t wrap my mind around.
13
Gam-aw
When I get home from school on Monday I am surprised to find my grandmother making herself at home. She is so different than any other eighty year old here in Pahrump. I would venture to actually call her hip, in a way. She is dressed in pink leggings with a mid-length tulle skirt and a t-shirt with script letters splaying the words, ‘My Boyfriend’s Back’. Her hair is a blonde bob. She loves to experiment with wigs. I glance at her shoes and notice she has on pink Nikes. She never ceases to amaze me.
My parents never mentioned when she was coming. I didn’t ask because knowing she is here means I am that closer to eighteen. Wow, this should be an exciting time, officially an “adult.” I guess in my case that means entirely something different. She greets me at the door with a hug.
I say uneasily and try to lift the dull tone of my voice, “Hey Gam-aw, how’d you get here so fast?”
She waves my question away and complains, “I can’t believe how slow people are here. I waited an eternity for my luggage, which they couldn’t locate. Then it took a half an hour to get a cab to bring me over here. On top of all of that, is there more sand now than the last time I was here?”
I shake my head at her typical complaints and head into the kitchen for a snack. She follows me in and sits at the table. Once I get a drink and an apple she pats the seat beside her.
Here we go. I have been dreading our encounter since Jack mentioned that she knows about the mermaid thing. Don’t get me wrong, I have so many questions and maybe I can get them all answered by Gam-aw since Jack is being so evasive.
Just Breathe Page 8
