by L. M. Reid
What’s the problem? Did she forget who we’re talking about here?
“It’s Hunter, Claire. That alone is enough of a problem,” I yell into the phone.
“Him liking you isn’t a bad thing.”
That’s just it, it is. It’s a terrible thing. An awful thing. A thing that I want more than I’m willing to admit and am even more terrified that I may have destroyed.
“It’s a problem because… because…” I try to come up with a reason and aside from repeating the fact that it’s Hunter, I don’t have any. No good excuses at least because the fact of the matter is – the guy is amazing. He’s been kind and patient with me, and I feel like the biggest bitch for having misjudged him for so long.
“What happened?” Claire asks.
I drop my head to my hands. “I don’t know what happened.”
Who am I kidding? I know exactly what happened. Hunter and I were having a great day together, and I got spooked. As amazing as it all felt, it also felt surreal. It made me question myself and then I felt insecure. This new side of Hunter that I’m seeing – I don’t know if I’m good enough for him.
“You got scared,” Claire supplies.
I’m more than scared, I’m terrified. Not only am I having feelings, feelings I don’t even comprehend, but they’re for a man that I don’t like. Or at least didn’t. All of this on the cusp of what happened between me and Shane.
“You’re right. I am. So what do I do? How do I make these feelings for him go away?” Tears sting my eyes. It’s a foreign thing to me. I quit crying long ago. It seemed like nothing more than a waste of energy. The tears that I shed for my parents, for wanting a better life, they never did me any good. They never changed anything. So rather than cry, I got angry.
Just like I did with Hunter.
“Why on earth would you want to make them go away?” Claire asks in disbelief.
Because I’m scared. Because he deserves better. Because this was all just supposed to pretend and now it’s real and I don’t know what the hell to do about it.
“I don’t know.” The words come out like a petulant child whining.
“Why don’t you start from the beginning,” she suggests.
I proceed to recount every detail of our trip to her. His kisses, his flirting, his lack of even trying to do anything for Layla’s benefit. Because I can’t recall a time where he even so much as gave her a glance. For a man that wanted me here to make her jealous, he sure doesn’t seem to give a damn about that anymore.
“And I don’t know why. It’s the sole purpose of me being here.”
“Things change, Q. I mean, look at you. You hated the guy a few days ago and now you’re looking at him as a possibility. After everything you’ve been through, that’s huge.”
Huge. And unexpected.
Better yet, I’ve already screwed it up.
“Oh, God. What do I do? How do I fix this?”
The line is silent, but only for a moment. “Why don’t you try talking to him? Tell him how you feel and what’s going on in that head of yours. Eventually Quinn, you have to open up to someone. And I don’t think there’s anyone better to do that with than Hunter. Who knows, maybe finally talking about all of it will help you heal.”
Heal? Is that even possible? For so long I thought I was damaged beyond repair. It wasn’t until these past few days with Hunter that I saw a glimmer of something beyond that. Something more.
Chapter 20
Hunter
I slowly make my way to the beach. After my conversation with Quinn, I don’t want to be here, let alone join the group that’s gathered. This whole damn trip is proving to be more of a fiasco than I had imagined it would be. That’s saying a lot because I was fairly certain it was going to be an utter disaster and somehow, it’s actually worse.
I sneak past everyone and grab a beer out of the cooler before I head down closer to the water.
Quinn and I had been on such a good path all day. We were having fun, getting closer, and then bam. In a matter of a moment, it was all gone. The argument we just had feeling like it had negated any progress that we made. Arguing isn’t new to us, I should be used to it, but things are different know. At least they feel different. God knows I want them to be different.
This charade is feeling like anything but.
Layla hasn’t even been a thought in my head. Not even when she’s right in front of me, flaunting her new relationship, or trying to make me jealous with it. Whatever it is she’s looking for; it’s not having the desired effect. Or any affect really. Quinn has me consumed in the best and worst ways.
“Where’s Quinn?” I hear Hudson as the question from behind me. A moment later he’s standing at my side, a beer of his own in hand.
“She’s not coming,” I say.
“You two have a fight?”
We did, but I opt to lie instead. “Nah, she’s just tired. It’s been a long couple of days.”
“You want to try again?” Hudson laughs seeing through my bullshit.
I simultaneously love and hate how well he knows me. “It’s complicated,” I say, not really wanting to give him much more of an answer. Though I brace myself for having to do so because Hudson is like a damn dog with a bone. He isn’t going to let it go until I talk.
“Always is when it comes to women. So?”
I turn to Hudson, my brother, my confidant, my first best friend. “I couldn’t come here alone. I couldn’t face Layla. So, Mason came up with this stupid idea. I was going to call a…” I groan, unable to believe I am actually going to admit this to him. “I was going to call an escort service, but Mason convinced Quinn. Now, here we are.”
“And when did you start liking your pretend girlfriend?
I run my hand through my hair. “I would like to say it started when we got here.”
“But?” Hudson laughs.
“It might have started the night we had sex.”
Hudson can’t even contain his laughter at this point. “Why is it so hard for you to admit?”
“Because it feels like a lost fucking cause. No matter what I do or how much I want it, we’re not going to work.”
I think about all the laughing on the ATV. The fun little race to the bathroom this morning. Then, like a switch, it all flipped. And that’s why I’m out here though, isn’t it? Because hearing her say that it was pretend, that I was nothing more than a means to an end hurt worse than finding Layla with another man in my own bed?
“I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you.” He nods behind me. “Looks like she isn’t so tired after all.”
My eyes flick over to the edge of the beach. Quinn is standing there, the short blue dress she’s wearing blowing ever so slightly in the wind. She looks uncomfortable and out of place as her eyes scan the crowd. And stunning. So absolutely stunning.
“When I heard you showed up with Quinn, I knew it was bullshit,” Hudson tells me. “It’s no secret you two weren’t exactly friends, or hell, even amicable. Then, when I saw the two of you together, I knew instantly that it wasn’t. I saw that look in your eyes. Hers, too.”
“Oh yeah?” I chuckle. “And what look is that?”
“Confusion,” he laughs. “I remember it damn well. It’s exactly how I felt when I met Hayley.”
“So, because you’re getting married, you think you’re the love expert now?”
Hudson throws his head back and laughs. “Expert? Hell no. I’m lucky that Hayls hasn’t kicked me to the curb yet. What I do know is that we don’t get to pick who we want to be with.” Hudson runs his hand through his hair. “You think in a million years I would have thought I would have ended up with a girl like Hayley? She’s responsible, detail-oriented, and serious. And yet, I can’t imagine my life without her.”
I nod, understanding the words more than he realizes. No, Quinn isn’t exactly the kind of woman that I envisioned myself ending up with. Having spent time with her though… the idea of not having her in my bothers me. I like her.
I like who I am when I’m with her.
“Go,” Hudson tells me. He gives me a slight shove in her direction.
Quinn gives me a small, unsure smile when I reach her. She looks almost scared, but I’m not sure if it’s of me or of what she’s feeling. Whatever that might be.
“I’m glad you came,” I tell her.
“I’m sorry, Hunter. I didn’t mean what I said.”
“I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to push.”
“You didn’t. I just…”
I press my finger to her lips to silence her. “Come for a walk with me.”
Quinn glances to the right where Layla is standing watching us. “Yeah, of course, baby.”
I shake my head. “Drop the act, Quinn. This isn’t about Layla. This is about us.”
“Us?” her voice is unsteady as she says the word.
“Yeah, us,” I say with a smile as I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “What do you say?”
“What about the bonfire?” she asks.
I lean in closer. “They don’t even have s’mores,” I tell her. The dissatisfaction in my voice more than evident, but for good measure I throw in an exaggerated eye roll.
She gasps. “No s’mores? What is wrong with those two?”
“Right?” I say laughing. “Nothing better than a cold beer and a warm s’more.”
“That’s gross, Hunter. Beer and s’mores?” She makes a face to show her disgust with my suggestion.
“Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”
I extend my hand to her. Her eyes look at it for a moment, then flutter back up to meet my gaze. “Are you sure?”
The hesitancy in her eyes matches my own, I’m sure. But for some reason, when she poses the question to me, it disappears. For me at least.
I grab her hand and tug her against me. “I’ve never been more sure of anything, Quinn.”
With our fingers laced together, I grab a blanket from the pile with my other hand.
“What’s the blanket for?” she asks.
I shrug. “Just in case we wanted to sit and talk. Or…”
“Or, what?”
“Kiss.”
“Kiss, huh? You think I want to kiss you?”
“Yep. Know what else I think?”
“Hmm?”
“I think that I’m starting to like this whole getting along with you thing. And that maybe, just maybe, you might too.”
She lets out a soft laugh before she forces her face to return to a more serious nature. “And that’s why you think I want to kiss you?”
“Oh, no. I already know you want to kiss me. It’s why I think you like me. Like, really like me.”
Her laughter fills the air. It’s the sweetest, most carefree sound I’ve ever heard, and I only wish that she made it more. Even as she laughs though, even though her eyes have the slightest twinkle to them, I can still see the sadness and pain lurking behind them. While she might tell herself, it has to do with Shane, I think it’s something so much deeper.
It’s the past that she refuses to acknowledge. The horrific childhood she pretends to forget that still haunts her. Maybe to some guys that kind of baggage, the shit storm that I already know it’s going to cause if we make a real go of this, it’s a reason to walk away. To me, though, it only fuels my desire for her. If nothing else, it makes me want to be the one to help her make it go away. Not because I have some bullshit hero complex, but because I want to be the man that’s there for her. For everything. Every smile. Every tear. Every moment good and bad.
“Now you’re talking crazy. How much have you had to drink?”
“This isn’t some alcohol induced admission, Quinn. This is real.” I lay the blanket down on the sand and sit. She stands there, looking down at me, her eyes filled with questions. I grab her hand and tug just hard enough to knock her off balance.
“Hey,” she shouts as she falls into me.
She might be yelling at me, but she’s smiling while she does it. I’m smiling too because she’s in my arms and I have no intention of letting go.
I turn to face her. She’s sitting there, in the sand, the moonlight cascading over her making her look even more soft and vulnerable than I know she is right now. “I want you, Quinn. The real you.”
“Why?”
Against my better judgment, I allow my hands to come to rest on her silky thighs. I pause for a moment trying to control my desire for her while debating whether I want to go through with this or not.
“Hell if I know,” I say with a slight laugh. “What I do know is that I expected to come here and see Layla with Maddox and to be devastated – to struggle. But I haven’t. Not once. And there’s only one reason for that.”
“And… I’m that reason?”
I nod. “Honestly, Quinn, I haven’t really thought about Layla since…”
“We hooked up?”
“It was more than that, but… yeah. Something between us changed that night. You can’t tell me you don’t feel it.”
She’s silent for a moment, letting my words sink in. Or, at least, that’s what I hope she’s doing. After all, this is Quinn and what she’s thinking, or feeling is a mystery to me. It pains me to think that words like that have never been spoken to her. The astonishment in her eyes as I said them fueling my knowledge.
“I don’t know what to say.” Not the words I want to hear, but at least she’s being truthful with me.
“You don’t have to say anything.”
My hands come up to her face, cupping her cheeks. “What are you doing?” she asks.
“Actions speak louder than words,” I tell her as my lips meet hers in a seductive kiss.
Not just any kiss. Not by a long shot. Not when every piece of me has been dying to taste her again since that night on the dance floor. When she doesn’t push me away, I move my hand behind her head and thread my fingers through her hair. I am not ready for this to end. Thank fuck she doesn’t seem to be either. Her lips part and I take the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Her hands fist my shirt, her body presses against mine, and just like that I am lost in the whirlwind that is Quinn.
When she pulls back her lips are swollen, and she is breathless. Her fingers touch the place where mine just left. “What was that?”
“A kiss.”
“That wasn’t just a kiss. That was…”
What Quinn? I silently implore her. She’s right that wasn’t just a kiss. That was just the beginning of so much more. I just need to know that she feels it, too. An acknowledgement, that’s all I need before I let myself get too carried away. Fall too deeply for her.
She wraps her arms around my neck, and she pulls me in for a kiss.
Actions speak louder than words.
The way she is kissing me speaks volumes right now. I can actually feel the emotion she’s pouring into it. I feel her doing the same as me – losing myself in us. My hands splay across her ass and pull her against me. I’m rock hard and dying to be inside her. I lie back on the blanket with her on top of me making sure not to break our kiss. I refuse to let this moment end. Nothing has ever felt or tasted as good as Quinn Ford.
“Hunter,” she says in a breathy voice that makes my balls tighten.
“Christ, Quinn,” I say between the kisses I am trailing down her neck.
“We shouldn’t…”
“Stop? No, we shouldn’t.”
Her hips press against me to meet the erection that is straining against my khaki shorts as she sits astride me. Her hands are pressed to her chest. She’s looking at me bewildered, wild, and awestruck and I feel the same damn way.
I never would have guessed that Quinn, of all people, would be the woman who grabs me by the balls and makes me fall for her. Certainly not this hard or this fast. That’s exactly what I’ve done these past few days, though - I’ve fallen for her.
I lie there on the blanket, my eyes glued to her as she begins to tug the fabric of her dress up. Then over her head. I quickly sit, my body pressing ag
ainst her to keep her sheltered. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Going for a swim,” she says. “I think we both need to cool off.”
She slides out of my arms and walks toward the water. Her body stepping away from mine cools me off plenty and all I can think about is having the heat of her body in my arms in again. Every step she takes backwards she discards something – her shoes, her bra, that lace thong that slides down her sexy thighs and falls into the sand. I watch her intensely as she stands there, completely naked and uninhibited staring at me.
It’s such a turn on and a far cry from what she looked like less than twenty minutes ago. The biggest change, the thing that intrigues me the most, is the mischief I see in her eyes. It’s clear as day despite the dim light of the moon.
“Are you going to come or not?” She says the words as a challenge, one that I am more than happy to accept. Mix that in with the look she’s giving me, come hither mixed with trouble, and I scramble to my feet.
Quinn Ford is the type of woman to make you do stupid things.
Like stripping off all your clothes and following her into the ocean.
Chapter 21
Quinn
“Are you going to come? Or not?” The seductive words fall from my lips without my permission.
This little plan of mine was spur of the moment, a desperate attempt to put some space between us. Sure, we’ve kissed before. We’ve even had sex. But that? None of it holds a candle to what we just shared. There was so much emotion in that kiss, so much being said. Every bit of it terrifying me and exhilarating me at the same time.
The experience was so new to me, the emotion behind it so raw, that I had to get away. I needed distance to regain my footing. So, I shoved off him and stood before him completely naked begging him with my body and my eyes to join me, to be with me.
I challenged him, dared him to come to me.
He stands from the blanket – challenge accepted.
What the hell am I going to do with him once he’s here? I’m not sure if I can handle him kissing me again. If he does, I might never stop.
