by Lacey Dailey
I’m still not sure how that happened.
I thought my mother’s role on Duke’s faculty had something do with my acceptance, though she swears she didn’t pull any strings or offer any bribes. I’m still convinced it was a mistake—that they mixed my name up with somebody’s else’s or were just short on applicants that year.
Either way, I got in. Between the free tuition I was granted for being the son of Jamie Mitchell, and the gratifying looks my mothers speared me with, I couldn’t not enroll.
I hated it—almost flunked out twice and often cursed the creator of higher education but I finished.
Miracles do happen.
“Mom, I know.” Standing from the couch, I pull her into my chest, resting my cheek on the top of her head. “You didn’t take away my choice. I’m leaving in the morning to do what I’ve always wanted to do, and you’re here making sure I have everything I need instead of bitching at me to go on job interviews.”
“Honey.” She gives me a squeeze and steps back. “You got a degree in astronomy. There’d be no interviews for you.”
Accurate.
“So about this Gigi girl.” Jamie picks at her bottom lip, scrutinizing me. “Do you like her?”
Yes.
“No.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Jamie.” Mandy fusses with the notebooks scattered across my coffee table, piling them up to make room for the newly folded jeans. “Don’t tease Max about his crush.”
“For shit’s sake. I don’t have—”
Clunk!
“Honey, we’re here!”
Jamie jumps when the front door ricochets roughly off the wall behind it. It happens so often, I barely flinch.
“Get over here and give us a hug, you big college graduate.”
I whoop, leaping over the piles of clothing with my arms stretched wide. “Three way!” I barrel into my best friends, almost knocking Beck right off his feet. Knox grabs the back of his shirt to steady him.
“What will I do without you?” Beck sticks out his bottom lip, petting the top of my head. “Also, where are your pants?”
“On the floor, and you’ll be fine. You can have lots of uninterrupted sex.”
“Uninterrupted sex?” Knox’s eyes widen, looking to his husband. “Baby, did you hear that? It is possible to have sex without Maxwell barging in.”
“Hi.” Jamie whistles, waving her hand above her head. “Maybe we don’t need to talk about the sex my employee has while I’m present.”
“Miss Jamie!” Beck moves out of our awkward embrace. “I thought I was more to you then just an employee.”
“Fine, Beckett. You’re my favorite employee.”
“I know.” He pivots, falling on to my couch beside her, feet in the air and head where his ass should be. “And it’s not my fault your son walks in on Knox and I. He made himself a key and didn’t learn his lesson the first time.”
Mandy stumbles on a pile of sweatshirts. “Our son walking in on you and your husband has become a regular occurrence?”
“Yep. For a while there, it was getting creepy.”
“Oh, piss off, dude.” I throw the door shut, leaning back against it. “It’s not like I walked into your bedroom and stayed for the show. Maybe if you didn’t screw each other on your kitchen counter in the middle of the afternoon, a dude wouldn’t know what your ass looks like.”
“Hey!” Knox shoves my shoulder. Between two best friends, it’s a gesture one might consider playful. I know him well enough to know there was some aggression behind it. Not a lot, because it’s me, but my dude is hellishly overprotective of his husband.
I get it. When you’ve been chewed up and spit out as many times as they have, I’d be growly too.
“Man, don’t talk about my husband’s ass.”
Beck practically swoons. “I love when you’re so protective of my fleshy body parts.”
Jamie pinches the bridge of her nose. “Is this conversation real? A mother shouldn’t be present for this.”
“No, don’t go. Mom is still folding all my clothes.”
“You said you didn’t care if they were folded.”
“I did not. You did.”
“Okay, how about this?” Mandy throws one of my T-shirts over her shoulder, sending me the kind of smile that makes my armpits sweat. “I’ll stay and fold your clothes if you tell us who Gigi is.”
“Gigi?” Knox moves away from the door, deeper into my apartment. “Why do your moms want to know about Gigi?”
“Now wait just a damn minute.” Jamie aims an accusing finger at Knox. “You know who Gigi is?”
“Gigi Moretti. Beck and I consider her a sister.” Knox stands beside the couch, one hand in his pocket and the other absentmindedly rubbing Beck’s ankle. “Why do you want to know about her?"
“My son invited her on his trip.”
“When?” Beck rolls off the couch, landing smoothly on his feet. “You haven’t been to family dinner in weeks!”
“I saw her at a diner and asked her to come.”
“Why?”
“Maybe I want a companion that isn’t a guitar?”
Jamie snorts, and I hope she doesn’t call me on my bullshit. She knows that answer is a bold-faced lie but I’m not about to reveal Gia’s secret to Knox and Beck when she worked so hard to hide it.
“And she agreed to join you?” Knox asks.
“Nope. She blew me off for a job at City Hall. I’m still holding out hope she’ll show up.”
“I’m not so sure she will. She spends most of her time working.”
“So, I’ve learned.”
“How have you learned? Since when do you and Gigi go to diners together?”
“Yeah.” Beck lifts his chin. “And why the hell weren’t Knox and I invited?”
I start tapping—my foot against the floor, my hand against my thigh. I shrink beneath their scrutiny, pressing my back into the door with more force.
Maybe I’ll blend in.
“Maxwell.” Jamie’s voice has little patience left in it. She’s dying to say something but keeps her thoughts to herself with Knox and Beck present.
Something in Knox must sense the odd vibes moving between my parents and I. He abandons his spot and extends a hand to Beck. “Baby, come on. Let’s go get Max some pizza and beer.”
I peel myself off the wood and open the door for them. Beck pats me on the cheek. “Be right back with your going away dinner, honey.”
The door slams. I resume my mission to become one with the door.
“Mom? Is there something you’d like to say?”
Mandy opens her mouth then quickly shuts it, carefully finding her words.
Jamie isn’t as careful. “Do you really think it’s smart to take a friend on this trip with you? A friend of the female gender, that you obviously find attractive, who is also your best friend’s sister?”
“What does her level of attractiveness and relation to my best friends have anything to do with this?”
“You know why, Maxwell.” Silence bounces off the walls, hitting me in the chest and making me very uncomfortable. When she lifts her head, her fierce mom eyes pierce mine, and I brace myself for the question I know she’s seconds from voicing. “Does she know?”
“About what?” I play dumb.
“Max, be serious. Does she or not?”
“Of course not, mom. That’s like the dumbest fucking question you’ve ever asked me!”
“Whoa!” Mandy holds up both of her hands as if they’re two erasers that are going to magically wipe away the words just spoken. “Max, do not get upset. It’s a fair question. You are going away for an entire summer with this girl. We aren’t suggesting you un-invite her, but it might be wise to fill her in on Aiden.”
“Absolutely not. Nobody knows about Aiden.”
“We do.”
“Well, it wasn’t because I told you. If it were up to me, you would’ve never found out.”
“Max.”
The one piece of my past I wish they weren’t privy to.
“Will you guys just stop with the depressed faces? We have this conversation every single time you mention his name. Why’d you even bring him up?”
“Because he’s important.” Jamie’s lips purse, practically inviting me to argue with her.
I wouldn’t.
Aiden is important—but to me and only me.
“Aiden has nothing to do with the road trip that Gigi may or may not be attending.”
“What do you mean? You just said you invited her?”
“I did, but she never said if she was coming or not.”
“So, you’re potentially going to spend four months straight with this girl and not tell her about Aiden?”
“Why is it necessary? I’ve been best friends with Knox and Beck for three years and they have no fucking idea who Aiden is!”
My eyes snap shut, and I breathe through the flames looking to grow beneath my skin. If they grow, I’ll get angry.
I don’t do angry.
No anger. No sadness.
I took a Philosophy class once that told me refusing to feel two vital emotions was detrimental to my health. I bet if Professor Pearce knew anything about who I was, he’d take that back.
“Did you do that on purpose?” I open my eyes. “Piss us off when you know how hard we work not to get pissed off?”
“Max, of course not. It was a valid question.” Her voice lowers. “I just don’t think it’s smart for you not to tell her. What if something happens in those four months? What if she finds out?”
“She won’t.”
“How can you be so sure? He doesn’t just go away.”
“Holy shit, Mom!” I shove away from the door. “I know he doesn’t just go away. Just because you got to sit in on a few doctors’ appointments doesn’t mean you know anything about how we work. Aiden and I don’t even understand how we work.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
I shove my hands in my hair, giving myself a moment to send my temper back to the small space I made for it. “Look, I know you guys are conditioned to worry but don’t. Gigi won’t find out.”
“Would it be so bad if she did?”
Well, shit. She’s just filled with all sorts of batshit crazy questions tonight. “Uhm, yes. You want me to tell her about Aiden? Or did you want me to get extra nutty and let Aiden tell her himself?”
“Fine, Maxwell. Don’t tell her. Don’t tell anyone for the rest of eternity.”
“That’s literally my exact plan.”
“Well.” Mandy pushes a strand of dark hair from her red face, folding a pair of sweatpants violently. “I just don’t think it’s healthy to live your life with that secret.”
“So, you want me to tell Gigi? I barely know her, mom.”
“You invited her on your trip.”
“Because she needs a friend.”
“A friend?” She places a hand on her cocked hip. “That’s all?”
“I don’t do girlfriends.”
“Yes, we know." Jamie waves her hand around. "I think it’s horse shit but whatever.”
“Are we really doing this right now? Having a conversation that’s going to piss us off? Are you doing it on purpose? Pissing us off so I’ll be angry when Knox and Beck get back? Are you trying to force me into telling them about Aiden when he’s none of their fucking business?”
Spots of black intrude on my light, a familiar fog appearing at the edges of my vision.
“Max.” Mandy deserts her clothes pile and reaches for my hands. “We just want you to know it’s okay you have Aiden. Maybe some people won’t understand the way you two operate but they might try.”
“I don’t want anyone to try, mom. It’s better when it’s just Aiden and I. We like it that way.”
“Are you sure?” She squeezes my fingers. “You want it to be you, your guitar, and the Aiden nobody knows about? Forever?”
“I have you guys too. That’s all we need to survive. Trust me.”
“We know you are capable of surviving, Max. But just surviving is a whole lot different than actually living.”
“Thank you for that incredibly inspirational sunshine up my ass quote I’m sure you read in a Hallmark card.”
“Don’t be rude to your mother, Maxwell.” Jamie scolds. “We are allowed to voice our opinion.”
“Well, you have.” I pull away from Mandy. “But I disagree and I get to make the choice. So, please just drop it before something happens and Knox and Beck walk in on it.”
I walk away before more words are spoken.
Dropping onto my bed, I bring my pillow to my chest and I wait. I wait for the fog around my eyes to disperse, and the commotion inside my mind to calm.
I wait until my ears detect the sound of Knox and Beck returning with pizza and cheap beer, and then I sit up, rearranging my signature smirk so it’s ready to celebrate the journey I’ve been waiting four years to begin.
5
Max
I was supposed to begin this voyage alone. Inviting Gia Moretti to ride shotgun was not supposed to happen. If somebody would’ve stopped me seconds before I entered that diner to tell me what I was going to do when I walked in, I would’ve laughed in their face.
I like being alone.
When I’m alone, nobody asks questions they shouldn’t. Nobody expects me to make conversation or indulge in self-disclosure. When I’m alone, nobody forces me to feel or be anything but at ease.
I can just be me.
But then she smiled, and it ruined me.
There was something hidden beneath her beauty—something familiar and sad. I recognized the misery in her blue eyes when she stared into an old coffee cup and spoke of her life in soft breaths. Though her smile made something inside me sputter, I knew she wasn’t happy.
She almost fooled me with her laugh. The noise alone triggered something inside my chest to detonate. For a man who spends most of his energy ensuring he stays stagnant in life, requesting the company of girl who holds the power to set me on fire wasn’t my greatest decision. I just couldn’t help myself.
I want to know what it looks like—her smile when she finds true happiness.
I want to know what it sounds like—her laugh when there’s nobody trying to mute it.
I want to set her free of her chains, not unlike the way my moms freed me from mine.
The disappointment I feel when she doesn’t show up is crushing. I’ve texted her enough times in the last week to warrant a restraining order. She never bothered with a reply and that should’ve been a clear indicator she wasn’t going to show up this morning.
I wait an extra ten minutes, anyway.
When she doesn’t show, I make my body leave my apartment. I give myself the descent down the stairs to mourn the possibility of her company, and by the time I walk out of my building and into the morning air, I’ve managed to convince my brain her companionship would’ve been annoying, anyway.
“You’re late.”
“Gia?” My heart jumps in shock—frozen for a beat before it starts again, faster. “You’re here.”
She’s here.
Standing right beside my blacked-out Dodge Challenger, a suitcase at her feet and a coffee in her hand. She’s here.
“I’m here.” She smiles behind her coffee cup. “And you’re late. I’ve been waiting ten minutes.”
She doesn’t need to know what those ten minutes were for. “You could’ve texted a dude and told him you were coming. Or, hm, I don’t know… walked up to his apartment and knocked on the door.”
“I tried. The door to get upstairs was locked.”
My boots crunch against the gravel as I make my way toward her. “Why didn’t you just ask River to open it for you?”
&nb
sp; “Am I supposed to know who River is?”
“My landlord.” I gesture to her cup. “He’s the dude who sold you that coffee.”
“The man in the tie-dye shirt and burlap pants is your landlord?”
“Yep.” Lifting her suitcase from the ground, I move around to the trunk. “He and his wife Sunshine own the coffee shop and the few apartments above it. They’re letting me keep my place for the summer even though I won’t be living in it.”
“Sunshine and River, huh?” Her fingers flutter against her cheek, subconsciously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “How’d you figure out they had apartments for rent above their coffee shop?”
I toss our luggage into the trunk. “The same way Knox and Beck did. A big sign in their window that said ‘We have apartments. Come buy a cookie.’”
She snorts. It’s fucking adorable. “That’s an interesting business tactic.”
“It worked. I needed a place to live and I love cookies.” I let the trunk fall shut, checking to make sure it’s secure. “You ready?”
“Ready.” Her answer is fast, like she’s been rehearsing the word for years and just now is getting to use it.
“Hop in, Gia Maria.” I slide behind the steering wheel, waiting for her to move around the car and take her place beside me. The engine roars to life. I grin. “Time to break those chains.”
“I broke some this morning when I handed in my resignation letter and flipped off the City Hall building.” She tells me this as I’m pulling onto the street, flipping my blinker and leading us toward the highway on-ramp.
“Yeah? Good for you, Gia.”
“Thanks!” She slides off her flip flops, tucking her feet beneath her legs. “I also smashed my ugly as sin engagement ring with a meat tenderizer.”
Her what?
My muscles seize, my foot spasms and slams against the brake pedal. Gia throws her hands at the dash, bracing herself so she doesn’t go flying out the windshield. She gawks at me, clearly wondering why the hell I’m slamming on my brakes when there are no cars in front of us. “Did you just say you’re engaged?”
“Nope.” She relaxes into the worn black leather of her seat, launching into an elaborate story involving her, some dude named Benny who lives in Vermont, and her dad’s plan to marry her off.
