by KC Kean
Kai lifts my hand to the top of my face, encouraging me to keep the pressure going as he scoops me up in his arms. It’s no use arguing, and I feel myself wanting to let him take care of me, after my revelation earlier.
Glancing to the door again, Oscar and Parker are standing side by side, as Roman steps up beside us. His hair is a mess, and there is blood caked on his hands and cheek, but he looks nothing like Parker or Oscar. Both of which are covered in it, Oscar more so, after tumbling on the floor with Brett.
Shit.
We did it. The relief that washes over me, has me leaning into Kai’s hold.
The Steele’s – One, Featherstone – Nil.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
(Kai)
Someone hurt her. Becky hurt my Sakura, and I wasn’t fucking quick enough to defend her. I sit and watch as Parker cleans the rest of the blood from her face, another scar to add to the list since she’s been at Featherstone. The cut doesn’t need stitches, but the doctor Rafe sent up to our room had to medically glue her skin shut.
I can’t stop my knee from bouncing. Even as Oscar glances my way from his seat beside me on the large sofa, he can see my growing agitation. As soon as we stepped out of there, we barely stuck around to hear what’s scheduled next, and I’m supposed to be the observant one. All the screaming and shouting about Parker killing Brett, and Becky bleeding out in The Tunnel, as we left Zone A, was irrelevant since we needed to get Luna out of there. I just hope we didn’t miss anything vital, but knowing Featherstone, whatever they tell us today, might not be relevant tomorrow.
I don’t know what I expected from the first stage of The Games, but it almost felt anticlimactic until they went back on their word. Dietrichson and Rico definitely had a hand in forcing Luna and me to stay in there as Roman, Oscar, and Parker went through, which only fuels my anger.
Then, to hear Oscar struggle with Brett’s hands around his throat, I was almost a goner. I know how hard it was for Luna to not rush to him. I felt it too, but while she was showering this morning, we’d promised each other that we would protect her at all costs even if it means sacrificing ourselves in the process.
“Do you know how fucking satisfying it was to shoot Brett in the dick? Man, I can’t tell you,” Oscar says, shaping his hands as though they were a gun, replaying the moment for us.
“In the dick?” Luna repeats, trying to process his words as Parker grabs another cleaning swab.
“Yeah, baby girl. I was going to let him live a long and sexless life until Parker got all trigger happy wanting to protect my honor, oh and yours too, Luna.” The waggle of his eyebrows and the smile on his face makes Parker groan in response, but he doesn’t correct him.
As Parker finishes off cleaning Luna’s face, Roman flicks the television on, kicking back on the sofa. It’s late afternoon, but it feels like midnight already. Tomorrow is downtime for us to do as we please, which means we’ll likely spend the whole time relaxing here in private. Everyone else has showered and changed into comfortable clothing. Luna looks just as beautiful as ever in a pale pink tank top and grey loose shorts.
“Is it wrong that I’m turned on because you did that for me?” Luna questions, almost to herself. Her eyes are heating with desire in front of us.
A car blares on the screen, grabbing my attention, but it’s all just a bit too much. Watching what happened in The Tunnel has me at a loss compared to usual, not having the same level of control I’m used to. I’m usually able to predict situations and their potential outcomes, but today, I had no idea what was planned.
I need to figure out how to push through the haze in my mind. I can’t fight free of it. My mind keeps repeating the vision of Becky attacking Luna over and over again, making myself feel even more helpless. The memory of Brett strangling Oscar definitely doesn’t help either.
I need to calm the erratic beating of my heart and the pounding in my head. I’ve let my Sakura and my brothers down. I can’t forgive myself, nevermind expecting her to forgive me. Sitting in here with all this noise around me definitely isn’t helping.
Not wanting to draw any attention to my current mood, I quietly stand from the sofa. I head straight for the bedroom, not glancing back to see if anyone notices. Clicking the door shut behind me, my head falls back to rest against it with a thud, leaving the light off since the glow from the afternoon sun fills the room.
I stupidly stepped away to check behind me when that guy called out and focused on the wrong threat. If I’d have looked to my left, this wouldn’t have happened. What ifs eat me alive, just as they did the day my sister was taken. I usually have full control of my fears and anxiety, but it’s all too fresh. The fear of losing Luna now consumes me as I internally rip myself to shreds for letting her get hurt.
I need a shower. I let the others clean off when we first walked in, now I need to wash the grime away, hoping it will improve my mood. It surprises me as I step into the en-suite that a brand-new mirror has been fitted so quickly after Oscar shattered the last one.
Not wanting to look at my reflection right now, I turn the shower on, letting it heat up as I take off my clothes. Stepping under the water, I let it rain down on me as I take a deep breath and relax my body a little, but I’m not finding the mental calmness I was hoping for.
Continuing to stand motionless under the spray, I let my failure wash over me, as I scramble to find my usual logic. Pushing through, I consider the same question I always ask myself when I feel like this, ‘Is there anything I can do about this situation right now?’ As always, the answer is no, but asking myself and being able to answer, helps alleviate some of the pressure building in my chest.
I make quick work of washing the blood and dirt from my body and step out of the shower.
I step back into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around my waist. Only to find Luna sitting at the bottom of the giant bed, patiently waiting for me.
“I’m mad at you,” she states, her emerald green eyes never wavering from mine as she twiddles her fingers in her lap. She sits ramrod straight, with a frown on her face, but the gentleness in her eyes softens the blow. Even mad at me, my Sakura is still the most beautiful being in the whole world.
“I’m sorry, Sakura. I should have never let her get so close to you, I…”
“Wait, what?” She stops my apology with a deeper frown, her nose wrinkling in confusion. Before I can respond, she’s processing what I said. Shaking her head and waving her hand at me, she continues, “That’s not what I’m mad about, Kai.”
“Well, I am. How can you trust me to keep you safe when shit like that happens? When it could have been avoided?” I argue, my fists clenched tight at my side.
Slowly standing, she looks me over, from head to toe. “Kai, I’m mad because you wouldn’t let me help the others. They just told me about the pact you made this morning, and I get it, I think. But I’m still fucking mad at how helpless it made me feel.” She swings her arms out to the side, glancing down at her feet for a moment, before meeting my gaze again. “We need open communication between all of us. It’s not me against all of you, we’re a team, and you guys don’t get to make decisions or pacts like that behind my back. Especially not now that we're married. I lectured those Aceholes out there, and now it’s your turn.”
The hurt is evident in her eyes, and I’m left speechless. I’m royally fucking up today. I don’t move a muscle. I want to make it better like I usually can, but right now, I don’t know how.
Sighing, she claps her hands in front of her, eyes closed for the briefest of moments. “Now I have that off my chest.” Exhaling again, she places her hands on her hips and stares me down. “Tell me what’s going on with you.”
Her stance screams, ‘don’t fuck with me’. The smallest part of my brain, that is functioning, recognizes the opportunity to show her I can communicate just like she asked me to.
Clearing my throat, I rub a hand on the back of my head, trying to ease the tension rising in me.
�
��I’m not dealing too well with what happened back there,” I murmur, struggling to find the right words to describe what I mean. “She cut your face because I stepped in the wrong direction. How can I expect you to trust me when I screwed up like that? As your husband, it’s my job to protect you.” I can barely meet her eyes.
“What are you talking about Kai? I trust you.” I feel her eyes burning holes in my skull, trying to understand.
Shaking my head, I sigh. She can’t actually mean it, has she looked at the damage Becky did? Will it heal? Yes, but it wouldn’t even be there if it wasn’t for me.
“Get out of your head, Kai,” she demands, the determination in her words only fueling my own.
“It’s not that simple, Luna. I can’t lose someone else so important to me. I can’t,” I grind out, frustrated that she doesn’t get it. Clasping my hands together at the back of my neck, I try to take deep breaths.
“I hate it when you call me that,” she murmurs, standing chest to chest with me. “I. Trust. You. With. My. Life. Kai. What more do I need to say?”
“Saying it and feeling it are completely different things, Sakura. I need to get out of here because this isn’t relieving any of the tension growing inside of me.” I try to move around her, but she grabs my arm.
“You don’t get to storm out of here, Kai. Tell me how I can help.” Her eyes pleading with mine.
“There is no helping. I need to feel control and right now, I don’t,” I respond, fighting myself, more than I’m fighting her. I’ve never had anyone try to console me when I feel like this, but it’s almost like she’s pushing too hard, taking more of my control away, and she doesn’t even realize it.
“Well, what would you usually do when you feel like this?” Her grip on my arm tightening, making sure she has my attention.
The stress in her face holds me captive, frown lines mark her soft skin, as she tries to understand. Her need to help compels me to respond.
“I either fight or fuck until I feel better.” Her eyes light up with both options, but I’m shaking my head before she can speak. “I will not fight you, Sakura. Ever.”
Her pouty lips at the disappointment has my cock twitching, her hand relaxing on my arm.
“As sad as that makes me, I can definitely get down with option number two, handsome,” she says with a grin, but I don’t smile back. Looking to the ceiling, I try to put this the lightest way possible.
“When I’m like this, sex is different. I need full control,” I murmur, my heart beating faster with the thought of her laying bare before me, watching her trust me like she says she does. It feels like forever before she answers, her voice quieter than I expect.
“And what would that entail exactly?”
My eyes shoot to hers, surprised by her response.
“No, Sakura, that’s not…”
“I asked what that would entail?” She is more determined this time. Searching her pretty green eyes, I only see the truth.
“Restraining you,” I whisper, and she shivers. My cock tents under my towel, as I watch goosebumps appear up her arms. The picture in my mind of her tied up and at my mercy, completely distracts me from the self-loathing I’m feeling.
“And if I trust you like that, give you the control that you need, would that make a difference?” Before I respond, she cuts me off, “Don’t give me any of that shit about ‘that not being what you're saying.’ Just give me a straight yes or no answer,” her words are rushed, her chest heaving slightly.
“Yes.”
The pause that follows my answer has my palms sweating until she mutters the sweetest words.
“Show me.”
*****
(Luna)
My heart feels as though it’s about to break through my chest. It's beating so hard, but I want this. I want to help him gain the control he needs, and I trust him enough to show me how it can feel.
Once upon a time, I believed I would never trust anyone to see me in such a vulnerable position. Yet, my Aceholes always find a way to give me more than I ever thought I would want. Now he has me curious, but I’m nervous as hell.
I can see the appreciation in the slight sparkle that is back in his dark eyes as he looks me up and down. It turns me on to see him happy to stand there, visualizing what it would look like.
“Are you sure?” He asks, finally bringing his eyes back to mine. Filled with heat, but still wanting to make sure I’m okay.
I nod slowly in agreement, shaking my hands out to try and lose the nerves building up inside of me.
“I need words, Sakura.”
My hands instantly land on his damp chest, as my eyes watch a droplet of water trail down his neck. Gaining my attention, he tilts my face up to his with the gentle press of his finger beneath my chin. His eyes swing back and forth between my own, making sure I’m not doing this just for him, but I’m really not.
“Yes,” I murmur, finally finding my tongue.
“I could start fires with what I feel for you,” he murmurs, looking deep into my soul, leaving me breathless. Lost in him, in us, I let my emotions rise to the surface. Goosebumps cover my body, my mouth dry, with the words slipping from my tongue without pause.
“I love you, Kai.” Eyes widening, as his heart pounds against my hand, I continue, “I love who you are, what you stand for, and how you always take care of those close to you. I want to give myself to you, just like you’ve already given yourself to me.”
My heart is in my throat as I watch every aspect of his reaction. His pupils explode, as he blinks repeatedly, and the feel of his other hand grips tightly on to my waist.
“I love you too, Sakura, with all that I am,” he mutters before his lips meet mine. We’ll never know who moved first, only that the electricity that flowed between us was more charged than ever.
Feeling his fingers move to the back of my head, holding me in place, I relax my body. I want to show him that he can take control without resistance from me, we both need it now.
My hands slowly rise to his neck feeling his pulse throb beneath my fingertips, as his tongue dances against mine. His hand on my waist hauls me in closer to his body, standing us chest to chest. As close as we are, I need him closer.
Clearly needing the same, he leans back just enough to lift my tank top over my head. Bringing my breasts back to his chest as his lips come back to mine. The moan that passes my lips is raw with need. His hands slip into my shorts, pushing them over my hips and letting them fall to the ground.
As I lower my hand to open the towel, he wraps his hands around both of mine at his neck, stopping my movement. Slowing his assault on my lips, I peel my eyes open, meeting his gaze instantly.
Kai holds my stare a moment longer, just to be sure before he steps back from me.
“Into the en-suite, Sakura. Hands on the vanity.” It takes a moment for me to process his words, while he looks at me expectantly. Releasing a shaky breath, I do as he says. I feel as though he knows he needs to ease me into this, just like I would expect him to.
Stepping up to the vanity, I place my hands against the cool surface, my eyes finding my reflection in the mirror. The thin gauze strips protecting the cut to my right cheek, barely hold my attention, as I see the flush slowly rising up my body.
I watch as Kai steps into the room naked, with his length on full display. Glancing over my shoulder at him, he shakes his head with a tut.
“Eyes forward, Sakura,” he says, voice firm and laced with desire. I follow his instruction as I see the tie he places on the vanity beside my hand.
My pulse kicks into overdrive, knowing what it is though, arousal playing at the edges of my nerves. Kai’s hands find my hips, pulling me backwards towards him, stretching my body out, as my legs instantly separate.
“Further,” he murmurs, and like a puppet on a string, I do as he says.
His hand ghosts over my ass cheeks, tingles lighting up my skin at the contact. Moaning at the touch, it catches me completely off guard when hi
s hand comes down on my ass with surprising force.
Fuck.
Before I can glare at him through the mirror, his hand is stroking the now heated skin, soothing the pain. My mouth falls open, shock and desire fighting in my mind. Without pause, he repeats the motion on the other side, a groan finally passing my lips.
“You like that, Sakura,” he states, not lifting his eyes from his marks, smiling at his handy work. “How wet would you be if I traced your pussy right now?” Tilting my hips up, I encourage his question, knowing the answer already. “Answer me,” he demands, and I can’t help but comply.
“Drenched,” I barely say, before his palms come down on my body again. Harder, the sting ricocheting through my body, my clit thrumming with need. Looking at his reflection in the mirror, desire floods my body. Sweat glistens on his chest, as it rises slowly with his heavy breathing, offering me a glimpse of his raw side instead of his usually controlled demeanor.
“Please, Kai,” I moan out, my hands clenching on the vanity. At my words, his hand slowly trails down my thigh, and when he begins to stroke back up, his fingertips ghost over my core.
“Fuck, Sakura,” he murmurs to himself, his eyes watching as he slowly slips two fingers inside of me. Pleasure ripples through me at his touch, pushing back into him, needing more. But just as quickly as his fingers enter me, he pulls away.
Releasing an agitated sigh, I glare at him through the glass, but I can already see the change in him. A slight glimmer in his eyes, and the strong set to his shoulders, tells me his control is slowly coming back.
Panting, I watch his cock in the mirror glistening with pre-cum, making me wet my lips instinctively. The blue tie now dangling from his hands, pulls my attention away, my heart beating rapidly in my chest.
“If you need me to stop, just say so, okay?”
Holding his gaze through the glass, I nod in agreement, seeing the fire in his eyes increase.
“Words, Sakura.”
“Yes,” I murmur instantly, but he shakes his head.
“Say yes, I understand.”
