"I don't want to fuck him," Lucy whispered to me. "I'll tell Nicole to do him, and I'll come home with you."
But Nicole didn't want to fuck him either. She had already run down to my car.
"Just tell that guy he got the wrong room, and come with us," I told Lucy. But I guess she didn't want to lose out on the money, so she stayed and fucked him. I hated her so much.
While Nicole and I were driving back to Bonita Springs, she kissed me. Then she leaned her head against my shoulder, held my hand, and told me she loved me. Then she gave me the address of the guy she was going to fuck.
"What?!?! You're really going to fuck someone else? You are seriously asking me to drive you to some other guy's house, and you're going to fuck him? Are you fucking KIDDING me?"
She broke down crying. She was so ashamed of herself: "This is not me! I don't do this kind of stuff. I'm not like Lucy. I'm just doing it for a day or two, to take care of some bills. I'm not a whore!"
"That's what every girl says, who starts doing this."
"Don't compare me to those dirty whores on Backpage! I don't like doing this! I hate it! And I'm not gonna keep doing it! I'm just doing it for a day or two, to pay some bills!" she repeated. She was sobbing so hard. She was really upset at the thought that I would think of her as a dirty whore.
I replied: "Sweetie, I'm not trying to make you feel like shit about yourself. But I'm really hurt that you are seriously going to do this. I can't stand it. Don't you understand that? After meeting Alice, and Veronica, and Lucy, and all their drug addicted friends, I know that no girl likes tricking. They may pretend they like it, because of the fast money, or they may pretend that doing it doesn't bother them, but I know they all hate it."
I gave her a hug to calm her down, because she was still crying. Then I continued: "I've read enough interviews with drug addicted girls. You're not the only one who hates doing it. But just like you, they all told themselves they'd only do it for a little while, but then they get trapped in a vicious cycle of drugs and sex, and they end up doing it day after day. It becomes their life. Just look at Lucy. Do you really think she enjoys living like this?"
"I'm never gonna be like Lucy," Nicole objected. "I'm not gonna keep doing this every day!"
"Yes, you will," I replied. "You hate it so much, you have to get high before you walk into a room with some guy, right? And afterwards you have to get high, to forget what you just did. And you end up spending all the money you just made, to buy drugs. And then you gotta do another call, but you waste all that money on drugs, too. And that will be your life from then on. You'll need to get more and more drugs, so you'll need more and more money, so you'll fuck more and more guys."
"NO I WON'T!" she screamed with tears in her eyes. "STOP making me feel like SHIT!"
When we arrived at the guy's address, she gave me a sad, teary-eyed look and said: "I'll hurry. Will you please wait for me? I want to come home with you."
We kissed and she left. I killed some time at a nearby CVS. Half an hour later, she texted me: "Good news! I didn't have to have sex with him! He couldn't get hard!"
I don't know if she was telling me the truth, or if she was just trying to make both of us feel better. But I chose to believe it, so I wouldn't spend the rest of the night thinking about some other guy being inside of her. It was bad enough that I kept thinking about The Fonz fucking Lucy.
Nicole and I went home, cuddled up in bed and made love. Lucy kept calling Nicole's phone. Obviously Lucy was getting suspicious that there was something going on between me and Nicole. Then she started calling my phone a bunch of times. Then she texted Nicole: "I hope ur having fun! I can't believe ur doing a date with Oliver! How could u do this to me?"
After I came, Nicole cleaned herself up and called Lucy back: "You're crazy! Oliver and I didn't do anything. He just gave me a lift to do a date with that guy in Bonita, and then we stopped at Oliver's place to get some of my clothes and make-up. I left them here, when I cleaned his house."
That made absolutely no sense. Why would she bring her clothes and make-up to my house while she was cleaning?
"I'm tired of hiding," I said. "We should just tell her. She had sex with your boyfriend Antonio when she was 17, so it's not like you're doing anything to her that she hasn't already done to you first. And if she really loved me, she wouldn't fuck all these other guys. She'd be here with me. But she'd rather fuck The Fonz at the Days Inn."
"I'm afraid to tell her," Nicole replied. "I think she really does have feelings for you. And I know how much it would hurt her, if we tell her. I don't want her to kill herself or something."
We headed back to the Days Inn. Lucy texted me that she bought me some Taco Bell, and that she wanted to finally have that talk we had planned for a while. But when we arrived, she met us in the parking lot. She already had the next guy in her room, waiting to fuck her. We didn't talk. She was too busy. She just handed me the tacos, gave me a hug, told me she loved me and went back to her room with Nicole. I wouldn't be surprised if they were gonna do a double. I was so miserable.
Another one of the LCJ girls had contacted me on Facebook after she was released from jail. She had heard about me from Veronica and Lucy, while she was in jail with them. Her name was Sonya. She was 21. Another beautiful blonde. She looked like a model. She kept telling me that she would like to meet me, but I kept blowing her off. I didn't mean to be rude, but there was just so much crazy drama going on every day.
Now I finally decided to meet her. If Lucy and Nicole were going to keep fucking other people, I might as well, too. I wanted to make them jealous.
Sonya was really nice. But of course she was addicted as well. To Ds. She told me she had her addiction under control and that she didn't need drugs all the time. She just did it recreationally, here and there. I had heard that story so many times before, and I knew the end result was always the same: a massive, uncontrollable addiction, and tricking on Backpage.
I hung out with her a couple of times. We had sex and she slept over. We went out to eat, hung out by the pool, fed the ducks by the lake behind my condo, and she cooked for me. At some point Cassidy stopped by. She had moved into a hotel room with her cousin, and she just wanted to pick up the rest of her stuff. She and Sonya knew each other from jail. They hugged and told each other how great they looked without their red LCJ uniforms.
When Cassidy went through her things, she started to cry: "She stole my stuff! Why would she do that? I just got out of jail! I have nothing!"
Cassidy and Nicole had both slept at my house on the same night, a few days after Lucy and Jasmine had slept here. Nicole in bed with me, and Cassidy in the guest room. When Cassidy was hanging out with her boyfriend at the Salvation Army, Nicole had gone through Cassidy's things, and said that she had taken some of Nicole's clothes, and she was taking them back.
Now Cassidy was telling me that Nicole had stolen things from her. She was really upset about it, so I don't think she was lying when she said a bunch of her new shirts were missing.
I texted Nicole and told her what Cassidy said. "I would never steal," Nicole replied. "You should know me better than that! But I think Lucy took some of Cassidy's stuff."
Lucy had a reputation for robbing her "clients." She really hated having sex with all these guys, and whenever possible, she took their money and ran, instead of actually letting them touch her. A lot of girls on Backpage do that.
And she kept stealing little things from me all the time. Never anything big. Never anything that I wouldn't have given her anyway, if she had simply asked: a pink ceramic hair straightener that I had bought for Veronica, a notebook, pens, envelopes, a handcrafted Indian silk photo album, etc. So it wouldn't surprise me, if she really did take some of Cassidy's clothes. But I wasn't sure who took what.
THE END
"You want to believe that there's one relationship in life that's beyond betrayal. A relationship that's beyond that kind of hurt. And there isn't."
Caleb Carr
"There are only really a few stories to tell in the end, and betrayal and the failure of love is one of those good stories to tell."
Sean Lennon
"People are always fascinated by infidelity because, in the end - whether we've had direct experience or not - there's part of you that knows there's absolutely no more piercing betrayal. People are undone by it."
Junot Diaz
The next day, Nicole texted me late at night and told me she wanted to sleep over again.
She knew that I was about to fly to Europe in a few days, to spend the holidays with my parents in Gemany.
George was at my house, and we were watching God Bless America, a dark, cynical satire about a man who is so fed up with how fucked up life in America is, he decides to become a serial killer. Great movie. I could relate.
I told George I would go pick up Nicole after the movie, but he told me not to keep her waiting, and he'd go along for the ride.
She was at the same house where she had done some tattoos in the last few days. At least that's what she said she did there. I asked her if it was ok, if George was going to come along. I didn't want her to ask me to go on some sort of drug run before we headed home. She said it was alright.
When we picked her up, George introduced himself. Nicole was very quiet. She was dope sick. She told me she needed to go pick up all her clothes at some shitty little motel in North Fort Myers. On our way there, Lucy texted her. She was at the same motel, and the owner was about to call the cops on her if she didn't leave.
Now Lucy was hiding behind a tall white fence at a neighboring trailer park. Nicole said Lucy was stranded, and we would have to give her a lift. George introduced himself again, when Lucy got into the car.
Lucy and I hadn't talked to each other in a few days again, because the last time we saw each other, we were supposed to have a talk to figure out what was going on between us, but she just handed me some tacos and she and Nicole disappeared into a hotel room where some guy was waiting to fuck them.
"Where do you want me to drop you off?" I asked Lucy.
"I have nowhere to go," she said quietly. She hadn't slept in days again.
Nicole and I gave each other a look. We both knew we couldn't just leave Lucy stranded in the hood.
"You want to come to my house?" I asked.
"Yeah, I do," she replied.
Then Lucy asked Nicole: "What are you gonna do at Oliver's house?"
"Hang out," Nicole replied.
George probably felt like he was still watching God Bless America.
By now Lucy knew that Nicole and I were hanging out together more often than she had previously known about, but she still didn't know the full extent of it. But George did.
On the way home, we had to make a few stops, so Nicole and Lucy could get some drugs, and then do their drugs in the restroom of a gas station. I was embarrassed. I didn't want George to see this. I didn't want him to look down on them, or think I'm crazy for hanging out with them. But it was probably too late for that already. I had told him so many crazy stories over the past year, he probably thought I was nuts.
He often laughed and said: "If I didn't know you, I would think you made this stuff up. But I know it's true. Your stories are just too crazy and complicated to be made up. If you ever write a book about this stuff, nobody is going to believe you."
George and I were waiting in the car, while Nicole and Lucy were in a restroom. I said: "Well, at least now you know Nicole and Lucy are real, and I didn't make them up."
He laughed. He knew how much I cared about both of them, and that they were aunt and niece, and that this night had just taken a bizarre turn.
"Looks like you're finally gonna have your first threesome tonight," he joked.
We had planned to finish watching God Bless America, but it was much later than expected when we arrived at my condo, so George went home.
Lucy said she finally wanted to see Beautiful Creatures. We had tried to watch the movie at least five times by now. Most recently with Jasmine. But once she smoked crack, Lucy could not concentrate on a movie. And she hated being around any kind of noise or music.
Nicole knew that since we were trying not to let Lucy know what was going on between us, of course Lucy would sleep in bed with me, like she was used to, and Nicole would have to sleep in the guest room. She really didn't like that idea. She didn't want me to be alone in bed with Lucy.
While Lucy was smoking crack in the bathroom, Nicole suggested: "Let's watch the movie in the bedroom. That way we can all lie in bed together, and when we fall asleep during the movie, it won't look weird that we're both sleeping in the same bed with you."
That sounded like a good plan. I figured Lucy could lie in the middle and she could cuddle up with me, and Nicole could cuddle up with her.
Every time Lucy wasn't looking, Nicole gave me a hug or a kiss and told me she loved me. We were sitting on the bed, waiting for Lucy to get out of the bathroom. We left a gap in the middle for her.
When she finally came into the bedroom, she gave Nicole a weird look and said: "What are you doing in Oliver's bed? That's my spot."
"I thought we could watch the movie in the bedroom," Nicole said.
"No, I want to watch the movie in the living room," Lucy replied. She was annoyed.
So we all went into the living room. We brought a bunch of blankets and pillows. Nicole and I sat down on the couch, but Lucy went back in the bathroom. Then she went to smoke a cigarette on the porch. Then she went into the bathroom again.
"This is never gonna happen," I said. "We have tried to watch this movie five times now. She just can't sit still long enough. She can't concentrate on anything other than drugs for even 5 minutes.
We ended up staying up all night. Lucy told me she hated her life and she wanted to get clean and come live with me. I felt bad talking about this stuff in front of Nicole. She didn't want Lucy to know anything, but at the same time she didn't want me and Lucy to get too close again.
It was 7 am, and now Lucy didn't want to go to sleep anymore, because she wanted to call detox at 9 am. So she decided to cook breakfast. Nicole felt that was her place. So they both ended up making a great breakfast together.
While I ran to Publix, to get some milk and bread, Nicole texted me: "Lucy just told me that she wants to be in a real relationship with you. She really has feelings for you." Nicole was getting irritated by how affectionate Lucy was acting towards me.
When I got back to the house, we had breakfast. Then they both called detox, because they had both promised me they would go to rehab. They planned on going together. Finally they were ready to get some sleep. It was about time. I hadn't slept all night, and I was dead tired. Unlike them, I didn't have any crack to keep me awake for days.
But instead of going to sleep, Lucy suddenly told me that she had run out of drugs, and now she wanted me to drive her all the way to the Howard Johnson, to get some more. Then Nicole said she wanted to pick up the rest of her clothes at the Knights Inn in North Fort Myers. This was gonna turn into one of those days again, where we drive around aimlessly for hours. I really couldn't deal with that right now. I was way too tired. But I drove them anyway.
Finally we were on the way back to my house, and we were gonna get some sleep. But now Lucy wanted to smoke her crack and shoot up before going to bed. Then she told me she wanted to have sex. I didn't know how to respond to that. On one hand I really wanted to have sex with her, but on the other hand I didn't want to hurt Nicole by sleeping with Lucy while they're both at my house.
Nicole was in the guest room, while Lucy and I were in my bedroom. I was in bed, and Lucy was standing by the sink in the bathroom that connects to my bedroom, doing drugs.
It must have driven Nicole crazy, that Lucy and I were in the bedroom together, with the door locked. I really felt bad.
Then Nicole texted Lucy, that she wanted me to drop her off at Lucy's grandfather's house.
Lucy said Nicole was lying.
She really wanted to go on a Backpage date with some guy. I was really pissed. I texted Nicole: "I can't believe you're gonna go fuck someone else!"
Nicole yelled through the house: "What are you talking about? I'm not going on any calls! It's Lucy's call. It's her ad. She wanted me to do the call for her and give her part of the money, but I don't want to. So then Lucy said she's gonna do the call."
I looked at Lucy and said: "What the fuck? You're gonna go fuck someone else? Lovely. Just grab your stuff, and I'll drive you to your fucking call. I'm so done with you."
The Heroin Scene in Fort Myers Page 31
