OK. She wanted to avoid the topic of her own feelings for the moment. No problem.
Ben shrugged. “I like kids. My littlest cousins are fun.”
“I’ve never really been around children much.” She quieted again.
“Do you want kids of your own someday?” Yeesh. The words just popped out. It was kind of a deep question to ask, more like fourth or fifth date material.
But maybe it was better to know up front, since he’d always pictured himself with a mini brood. Elena hadn’t wanted children, but by the time they’d discussed the topic, he was already willing to compromise anything to be with her.
“I never really thought I did. But now . . . if it happened with the right guy, yeah. I think I’d like a family.”
His chest flooded with all kinds of warmth. Ben wanted to look over at her, but he kept his eyes on the road. “Me too.”
They drove into a gravel parking lot on top of a rocky overhang that looked across the ocean. The unmarked pull-off was so small it would be easy to miss if someone didn’t know it existed. Tall seagrass on the cliff waved in the upward breeze. He keyed off the ignition and turned to face her.
“I guess I’ve always been sure I’d be a terrible mother.” She bit her lip. “My example growing up wasn’t the best.”
“Maybe that’s why you’ll be a really good one.”
“Huh.” A small smile slid over her lips. “I like that perspective.”
“Glad to hear it.” After hopping out of the truck, he walked around the vehicle to open her door.
As if just noticing their surroundings, her nose scrunched while she climbed out. “Where are we?”
“Heart’s Cove.”
She quirked an eyebrow.
“Don’t knock the name. I come here when I need to get away, to think. I thought you could use a little escape.”
For a moment, she just stood there, staring at him. Then she stepped forward into his arms, so hard he nearly stumbled backward. He relished the feel of her against him.
She tilted her head up to gaze into his eyes. “I don’t want to escape. Not everything, anyway.” A pause. “I don’t want to escape this.”
His heart pumped hard against his chest.
Behind them, a couple walked up the hidden path from the cove toward the parking lot, laughing and interrupting the moment.
Ben leaned his head close, lowering his voice. “Neither do I. Now come on. I have something to show you.”
How had Ben known exactly what she needed?
“Wow. This view is . . .” There weren’t words for it, really. Bella stood on the precipice of a cliff next to Ben and gazed out over the water. A fifteen-foot arch of rock sheltered them from the sun.
Without pushing her to talk, he’d led her from the dirt-and-gravel parking lot down a path into this tiny cave of sorts. They’d walked through the cool rocky formation, which ended at the bluff.
“I know.” Ben lowered himself to a sitting position, dangling his feet over the edge. About thirty feet below them the water crashed into foamy white waves against the cliff. “You should see it at sunset.”
“I can only imagine.” Careful not to slip on the loose pebbles and sand, Bella seated herself next to him. Her heart raced as she looked down.
Ben pointed to the left. “The beach is that way. We just have to backtrack through the cave and continue down the path we were on.”
“We should check it out in a bit.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “But for now, I like it here just fine.”
“We can stay here as long as you want.”
“Much as I appreciate that, I shouldn’t keep you from your work. You still have several hours of daylight left.”
“Eh.” Ben wove their fingers together and leaned his head against the top of hers. “I need a break anyway.”
“Liar.” But in this moment she couldn’t gather the energy—or positivity—to leave this place of refuge and beauty. The meeting with Mary Robinson had deflated her in ways she hadn’t thought possible. After all, until yesterday she’d never expected that she would find out about her father any other way than through Mom.
But then that tiny flicker of hope had seeped through the cracks of the walls she’d built up around her heart. And boom! They’d crashed down as if hit by a bulldozer.
“Hey.” Ben’s voice rumbled in her ear. “My mom texted me this morning and wanted me to extend an invitation to our next Baker family dinner. Guess you made quite an impression on everyone Friday night.”
Seriously? Goosebumps slid along the edge of Bella’s neck. “They all made quite an impression on me too.”
Ben snorted. “I’ll bet.”
“No, really. You have no idea how blessed you are to have family. And such a great one at that.” She angled her head, pressing her cheek into the soft fabric of his T-shirt.
“I guess I do take it for granted sometimes.” He turned her hand over and traced the palm lines with his thumb, sending shivers up her spine with the light touch. “Do you have any good memories with your mom?”
“Some. We were dirt-poor growing up because my mom was only twenty when I was born. She worked two, sometimes three jobs, to keep us off the street. We were poor but happy.”
Bella smiled as a memory she hadn’t thought about in forever surfaced. “For my sixth birthday, she somehow convinced the manager of a movie theater she cleaned to let us in two hours before the theater opened to watch the latest Disney movie. Mom even let me pick out a candy bar at the drugstore beforehand and popped a bag of popcorn. It was eight in the morning, and I got to eat chocolate and have my mom all to myself for a whole hour and a half.”
“That sounds nice.”
“It was. But three short years later, she forgot my birthday. She’d qualified for a scholarship at the local university and took night classes while continuing to work, and I never saw her anymore. I practically lived with my best friend and her family.”
Ben’s lips feathered a kiss against her temple. “I’m sure that was hard. But maybe she didn’t completely fail you. Seems like you get your strength and determination from her.”
The distant boom of the ocean below nearly drowned out his softly spoken words. He was trying to be sensitive but also maybe to challenge her to think differently about her mother and the choices she’d had to make back then.
Bella shook her head. “You’re right in a way. My strength came from being forced to do life on my own, without family to support me. Because while my mom was off pursuing her dreams of a business empire, she ruined my own.” Hot flashes shot through her veins.
Pushing backward, she stood and brushed off her shorts and the backs of her legs.
Ben rose and stuck his hands in his pockets. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to push.”
“It’s fine. My backside was just getting numb.”
His eyebrow quirked. “Right. Well, do you want to head home or visit the beach?”
What did it mean that she’d thought of the Iridescent Inn when he’d said home? She was spilling pieces of herself to him that only Jessica knew. Her heart was hemorrhaging all over the place.
Then why, instead of feeling ripped to shreds, did it beat with new intensity? Feel almost . . . whole?
Bella turned on her heels and strode through the cave, glancing back toward the parking lot. But the beach called to her, so she pivoted that way.
Ben caught up to her, and they walked down a series of steps until they emerged on an empty beach. The rocky face surged above them, cocooning them from everyone and everything outside of this sheltered bay.
After a few minutes of breathing in the tranquility, she turned to Ben, whose eyes followed the water in and out. Once again he was giving her the space she needed to process, to think, and it made her want to tell him all the more.
“You’re probably wondering how my mom ruined my dreams.”
“Only if you want to tell me.”
“I do.” She pressed a hand to her chest. “When I was a fresh
man in high school, I had the chance to go on a school trip to Europe. My dream was to travel and study history—that was my passion. Ironic, isn’t it? The girl who didn’t know her own history loved to learn the history of others.”
“Makes sense, actually.”
“I guess. Anyway, my mom said she’d show up for the meeting when everyone was to sign up and pay the deposit for the trip, but she never did. All the spots were filled. And she never even apologized, just said a meeting ran over. She’d started her own business and was doing all she could to make it a success.”
Ben was quiet for a bit, his pursed lips a sure sign he was thinking. “So, did you end up studying history? I thought you had an MBA.”
“My undergrad is in history, but I couldn’t find a job after graduating. My mom offered me one at her company, and I don’t know, I guess I thought maybe it was a chance for us to get closer. I pursued an MBA because she paid for it, and I ended up liking it too.”
“But the two of you didn’t get closer.”
A seagull glided overhead, its squawk harsh against the peaceful setting.
“No. In fact, seeing who she’s become, the things she’ll do to get ahead, has made me even more determined to see if I can find my father. Well, not him, because he’s dead, but his family, if he has any.” Bella pushed an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “My mom and I are alike in some ways, but I don’t want to be anything like her, really. Maybe if I know the rest of my history, who I really am, then I can figure out where I fit into this world.”
Exhaustion weighed down her bones, and she sank onto the sand. Chucking off her sandals, Bella extended her legs in front of her.
Ben sat too. “I’m not sure what to say, Bella.” He glanced at the sky, his face a mask of concentration. “I’d like to tell you that I understand, but the truth is that I sometimes wish I didn’t know all of my family history.”
“What do you mean?” She tapped the side of his foot with her own, and he caressed the ridge of her foot with his big toe.
“Just that knowing everything your family has ever done—all the amazing things they’ve achieved—could mean you’ll have a lot to live up to.” He exhaled a deep breath. “When I was around ten years old, I overheard my grandpa tell my dad that ‘we Bakers are the bedrock of this community. If we don’t lead it, then who will?’ And I know what he meant by that.”
“What?”
“He equated leading with owning businesses in the town, and that’s what all of my family before me has done so far. I’m the oldest Baker cousin, and it’s up to me to lead the rest. But look at me. I’m about to lose my inn and disgrace the family name.” He groaned and lay back against the sand.
She didn’t hesitate to drop next to him, tucking herself against his body and settling her head into the crook of his arm. “If it happens, then losing the inn won’t be your fault. You were handed something you didn’t really want in the first place, something that was already on the rocks, and no one helped you.”
“So? No one helped my dad start his business. Or my aunts. Or my uncle. They all pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and just did it somehow.”
“The economy is different now. Things all around are different. You can’t compare yourself to them.”
“How can I not? I’ll be the first Baker to fail.” He sighed. “Even though I’m trying, I’m not the man they all want me to be. Maybe I’m not worthy of the Baker name.”
“If the Baker name means kind and generous and smart and a little bit brooding and sexy as all get-out, then yeah. You are.”
One arm still under her, he turned to prop himself up on his elbow so he could look down at Bella. His free hand found her waist, fingers grazing the bare skin of her hip where her shirt rode up just a bit. “You mean that?”
“Of course I do. Ben, you’re incredible, and any family would be proud to claim you. Don’t sell yourself short.” Stretching out her hand, Bella traced the contours of Ben’s face, his stubble rough under her fingertips.
Their eyes connected, and he lowered himself toward her, stopping just above her for the briefest of moments. Then his lips dipped and caught hers in the sweetest of kisses for one, two, three seconds before easing back and returning for something deeper, hungrier. Her body ignited, all synapses firing at his touch.
The applause of the ocean whooshed in her ears, overpowering any thought or doubt or anything beyond this moment, the intense flood of heat and emotion deluging her heart and body and mind.
She cradled his head between her hands as she matched his fiery kisses with her own. Ben fluttered kisses down her neck then worked his way upward to nip her earlobe until his lips returned to her mouth.
Finally, he pulled away, dropping back down beside her on the sand, both breathing heavily as they stared at the sky. Draping an arm across his chest, she fisted his shirt, and the scent of his deodorant lingered near her nose. Bella closed her eyes and prayed with all her might that Mary Robinson would remember something about the elusive Daniel and Camille.
Because after this—after the way he’d awakened something inside her that no one had ever touched—Bella didn’t want to let go of Ben Baker.
But she didn’t want to let go of her dream of a family either.
Chapter 9
A month ago Bella never would have imagined that she’d want to be at a Walker Beach festival.
Yet now she laughed as she stuck her face through a hole in a tall wooden cutout painted to look like two dancing olallieberries, a cross between a blackberry and raspberry. If she peeked to her right, she could just make out Ben’s face poking through a similar hole.
The festival photographer held up a camera. “Say cheese.”
Bella felt a pinch in her side. “Hey!”
“You aren’t saying cheese.”
“You didn’t give me a chance.” Bella turned her attention back to the photographer, grinned, and yelled, “Cheese!”
“Beautiful.” Flashing them a thumbs-up, the photographer moved on, pivoting to snap shots of nearby vendor booths.
Bella stepped back from the cutout and found herself in Ben’s arms.
He twirled her around and leaned down to give her a quick peck on the mouth. “I really like this side of you.”
“And what side is that?” Pushing against his chest, she extricated herself from his grasp and shot him the sauciest look she could manage without laughing.
Ignoring the hordes of townspeople mingling all around them, Ben snuck his arms around her waist again. “The goofy side.”
“Guess you bring it out in me.” She exaggerated a sigh, unfolded her arms, and circled them around his neck.
“Either that or you’re punchy from a lack of sleep.” His eyebrows waggled.
She rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide the grin on her lips. It was true—the last five days had been filled to the brim with everything but sleep. Many, many stolen kisses, lots of late-night dinners, and loads of time spent working together to start implementing Bella’s limited “save the inn” plan had taken the place of rest.
In fact, other than the hoard of pushy texts and phone calls she’d received from her mom looking for an update, this had been the best week of Bella’s life.
My patience is wearing thin, Bella. I’m running out of time to save this company. Are you going to come through for me or not? Mom’s latest text message assaulted Bella’s current happiness, sending a sobering shock through her body.
She took back what she’d thought earlier. Even more than the Olallieberry Festival in Walker Beach, she longed to go back to that secluded cove where it had been only her and Ben. No inns, no mothers, and no reminders that this was just temporary—unless Bella somehow found a way to have everything she wanted.
Or the courage to choose.
“Where did my goofy girl go?” Ben’s forehead met hers.
She forced a smile. “Back to reality.”
Sighing, he let go of her waist and snagged her hand. Th
ey started walking down Main Street, which was blocked off to traffic south of the dual parking lots. “I’m sorry we haven’t had time to investigate more into your dad’s story. Last Bud told me, Mary hadn’t remembered anything more. He’s asked around, but no one else remembers your parents.”
Booths lined either side of the street. Ben’s aunts Jules and Louise shared a booth where they were selling their art and olive oils. Next to them, the local coffee and ice cream shop, Java’s Village Bean, featured olallieberry ice cream, which Bella and Ben had sampled earlier. She could still taste the rich creaminess on her tongue.
Bella squeezed Ben’s hand, trying to offer some reassurance. “Regardless of all that, I’m having a good time.”
“I’m glad.” Ben’s eyes narrowed as he studied the street, looking from Carlotta Jenkins’s clothing booth, which featured bright yellow scarves, flowing purple skirts, and everything in between, to the Frosted Cake’s booth piled high with olallieberry pie offerings.
His gaze landed on a booth where a woman sat with a little girl who was dressing a pink baby doll. A silver-painted butterfly adorned the girl’s cheek, and an artful arrangement of wine crates and stacked bottles decorated the table in front of them.
Ben tugged Bella that way. “Hello, ladies. How’s it going?”
The brunette with the little girl shrugged. “Not as busy as usual. Normally I’m sold out by this time and taking mail orders, but today I still have fifty percent of my stock left.”
“I wonder if Evan was right. He thinks the earthquake has tanked our tourism numbers.”
Moving her hands through the little girl’s curls, the woman pulled it back into a pair of pigtails. “Something is definitely different.”
Ben shook his head and turned to Bella. “At the height of the festival, typically it’s so crowded that you can hardly maneuver through the street.”
“That’s too bad.”
The woman’s eyes moved to Bella, lighting with interest. “Hi, I’m Heather, and this is my daughter, Mia.”
“Bella.” She leaned down to examine the wines, which were stamped with a Campbell Wines label. “Are these local?”
All of You, Always Page 9
