A dark-haired, bespectacled young lady in the back raised her hand promptly. I nodded in her direction, signaling for her to answer. “It usually increases as it goes from left to right,” she said.
“Correct. And within a . . . what?” I asked an auxiliary question, scanning the room for more hands. My eyes, without fair warning, darted over and connected with McKinley’s, who happened to be blushing, and snapped them back suddenly before they were noticed by any overly observant students. I cleared my throat in an attempt to calm myself. Get your shit together, Knight.
I continued the lecture, but it felt like every time I scanned the students for an answer, I would inadvertently end up on McKinley, whether she was offering a solution or not. I talked for a while longer, then I wandered back towards the front, and once again, I locked eyes with McKinley, whose cheeks were flushed with pink. The connection lasted a little bit longer this time, just enough to make me want to whisk her away from the classroom and back to my office where we could have a couple of hours in private.
My eyes reluctantly traveled away from her and up to the clock on the back wall. 9:55. Class was supposed to be dismissed in about five minutes, but I was going to end it right here.
“Alright class, we made good progress today…” No sooner had I said “today” did everyone begin zipping up their backpacks and collecting their books and supplies. College students were so predictable: any suggestion of a dismissal and they were already five steps ahead of you, gathering their belongings.
“…don’t forget your first exam is next Thursday. Make sure you have your study guides. If you don’t, download the PDF from your online course content. Have a great one, guys,” I finished as the mass of young adults got up to leave. “McKinley, could you hang back for a minute, so I can speak to you about your last homework assignment?”
“Yeah, sure,” she agreed, closing her laptop and sticking it in her bag.
A horde of sophomore girls approached me before leaving and asked if I could help them regulate their “informal study group.” I knew what they were up to, and declined, but told them to send me their study guide by email and I’d help them organize it. I already had enough problems thanks to my connection with one student; the last thing I needed was a collection of them incubating crushes on me. They nodded dismally and left, since I had just thwarted their obvious plan. I knew it wasn’t the last time this would happen as long as I was teaching.
McKinley walked up to me at the front of the classroom and cast me a wistful look. “I envy you, Knight. I really do. I wish I had groupies flocking around me like that.”
“One day soon enough. When you’re a professor, you’ll have more than your share of smitten guys signing up for your classes.”
Out of nowhere, McKinley threw her arms around me, pressing her curvaceous body against me, and kissed me long and deep. For a moment, I lost myself. I lost sight of where we were, or what we were doing, and I picked her up, my hands under her full ass, and set her down on the edge of the desk.
McKinley moaned into my mouth as I slid my hand down and into her jeans, letting my fingers explore her warm depths. She ran her fingernails up and down my back, and a shudder escaped my lips. I felt my cock rising from her touch, and all I could think about was filling her up right there and then.
“Fuck me, Knight, now,” McKinley whispered in my ear, the warmth of her voice sending a shiver down my spine. But then, I heard the chatter of students in the hallway outside the classroom, and I remembered…
Oh shit, we are in the classroom… Get it together, Knight!
I pulled away from McKinley, begrudgingly and my spirit collapsed at the look of betrayal on her face.
“McKinley, we have to stop, sweetie. We have to stop,” I said, looking sincerely into her brilliant eyes. “This is the kind of risk that we can’t take.” She unlatched herself from me, and I helped her slide down off the desk, so we could reassemble ourselves.
I took her face in my hands. “I hate that we have to be so paranoid all the time, but... we just have to take it easy for now,” I reminded her.
She nodded and took a deep breath as she tried to center herself before she left. “Paranoid keeps both of us out of trouble,” she said with a forced smile. I ran my fingers along the side of her face and walked her to the door.
“I’ll text you later,” I said before she walked out. Once I was sure she was gone, I shut the door and walked back to the front of the room to make sure McKinley and I hadn’t made a mess. I was just getting my things together when I heard the classroom door open again.
Startled, I whipped around to see who it was, thinking McKinley had come back, but it wasn’t her… it was Casaundra.
“Casaundra! What a pleasant surprise. What can I…” I started, before she cut me off.
“I saw you with that fourth-year student. McKinley Clarke, is it?” she asked.
“Yes, she’s one of my students…” I answered, playing dumb.
“She just left the classroom in an awful big hurry. And you two were in here alone?”
“We were just having a one-on-one about the upcoming test,” I lied through my teeth.
“Yeah, I’m sure you had a one-on-one, alright. I think the dean would love to hear about your one-on-one,” she said with a conniving sneer.
“Casaundra, I don’t understand what you’re…”
She leaned back on a desk with a raise of her eyebrow. “I’m not an idiot, Knight. I know what is going on with that girl. All it would take is a phone call for you to lose your job. But…”
I gulped. “But what?”
“It could all go away if you would just quit.”
Seventeen
McKinley
I looked through my closet for something cute to wear over to Knight’s. After some debate, I decided on a yellow band t-shirt and my favorite pair of jeans. Might as well be comfortable for whatever he had in mind for tonight.
It was almost a quarter to seven. I had just gotten in from classes when Knight texted me and said he wanted to see me. There was nothing else on my agenda for the evening, aside from watching reruns of my favorite reality show and studying. I was just finishing putting on my makeup when my phone vibrated on the bed. It was Evie calling, so I paused the process and grabbed it.
“Hey, girl,” I said, putting away a discarded pile of clothing as I balanced the phone on my shoulder.
“Mickey baby! You’re not dead!” she said dramatically.
“Of course, I’m not dead,” I sighed, hanging up some of the jackets I opted out of.
“What have you been up to? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!”
“It hasn’t even been a week, Evie,” I laughed. “You know how much school can consume my life,” I said, only partially lying.
“McKinley. Don’t pull that bullshit on me. Classes just started like what, a week ago? There’s no way you’re that busy this early in the game,” she said.
“I am, though!” I retorted, getting more defensive than I should have been, since I was the one kind of lying.
She grumbled. “Is it a man, McKinley? Is that guy from Frankie’s monopolizing your time, young lady?” she grilled.
“Yeah, I’ve been sort of hanging out with him I guess,” I told her, trying to mitigate the situation, so I didn’t have to explain the nonsense I had gotten myself into.
“Hanging out how?” Her voice trailed off into an inappropriately seductive growl.
“Could you be any nosier, Evie?”
“Tell me!” she demanded.
“Fine! We’ve been sleeping together,” I confessed at last.
“I knew it!” Evie exclaimed, almost deafening me through the phone. “Sexual plaything, future hubby… what are we talking about here?”
“Closer to the first think, maybe?” I chuckled. “But I hope it could develop into something more than that.”
“Yes! It’s about time,” she said happily. “How long has this been going on?”<
br />
“Not that long,” I admitted. “He makes me really happy, though.”
“That’s awesome! McKinley, I’m super thrilled for you.”
“Thank you!” I felt myself blushing. “I was actually getting ready to head over to his place now.”
“I’ll let you go then! But we have to get together soon. I want you to tell me everything about this guy. His name, for starters.” I laughed at that, knowing full well I wouldn’t be telling her a damn thing until the semester was over. “How you met him, how old he is, what he does for a living, everything!”
“Sure thing, Evie,” I answered, “We’ll get drinks soon.”
“I’ll even pay,” she said with a chuckle, which was a total lie. Evie never paid for anything.
I said goodbye, hung up the phone, and finished my makeup just in time to make it over to Knight’s in case there was traffic. With the excitement of a kid on Christmas morning, I grabbed my keys and ran out of the apartment, headed straight for the house of the sexiest man I’d ever know.
A man who wanted me.
How did I get this lucky?
Eighteen
Knight
McKinley had just texted me and told me that she would be here in about ten minutes. Her message, ‘On my way... see you in 10,’ sent shivers down my spine. And it wasn’t the same feeling of excitement I had before when we spoke. Now, it was absolute, bone-chilling fear.
I didn’t text her back, because I was afraid I might be tempted to tell her to turn right back around and go home. But she was owed an explanation. I needed to tell her… something. There was really no way around this. I had to tell her the truth.
My stress had been doubled yesterday during my meeting with the department chair, Dan Daniels, when I found out that McKinley was at Las Positas on a full academic scholarship. We were talking about how I was adjusting to my job, and my new students, when he mentioned McKinley specifically and remarked that she was one of the brightest students he’s seen in the program years. All at once, I realized how much was riding on what we were doing. It wasn’t just about my job anymore or Casaundra’s threats…
It was about making sure that McKinley was able to finish her time at Las Positas and accomplish everything she had worked so hard for.
I didn’t even care about myself at that point. Casaundra had made it more than clear that I only had two options and either way, I was about to lose my job.
At first, I thought she was kidding, and that maybe she was just trying to scare me. But she made it clear that she was more than serious when she finally admitted why she had been so hostile to me since my first day at orientation.
“I was supposed to get tenure before they hired you,” Casaundra said. “I have been working my ass off for a decade at this garbage little university to try and secure a permanent position. And then you show up, with your lazy credentials and complete lack of publishing history, and suddenly the budget disappears to allow anyone on the tenure track to get the positions they were promised. So, there are only two ways this can go.”
I gulped and took two measured steps away from her, suddenly afraid she might stab me with a pen. “And what two ways are that?”
Casaundra smiled like a snake. “Either you quit and save a shred of your dignity, or I go to the dean and tell him that you are fucking a student. Which will end your career at any school… not just this one. And while the dean can’t take action against your little girlfriend, I can promise you this; it won’t reflect well on her when word gets out about what she has been up to.”
I couldn’t bear the thought of ruining things for McKinley too. She was so young and had so much going for her. Were we worth destroying her future over? I cared about her so much… In fact, I realized how much because I suddenly became aware I was willing to let her go to make sure she wasn’t hurt. For the first time in my rotten, selfish life, her needs mattered more than my own. As much as it killed me, I knew what had to be done. I needed to end things before they affected her, my career be damned.
I looked at my phone and knew she’d be here any minute. I had to figure out how to end things with her, and in a way that would break it off clean. I knew for a fact that I couldn’t tell her the truth, though. I didn’t want her to feel culpable for any of this. I quickly brainstormed some possible excuses. Maybe I could use the age gap, and explain that I was too old for her? But I knew she wouldn’t buy that after how hard I had argued the opposite just a few days ago.
The obvious answer was to tell her it was a terrible idea for me to date a student, and I should have ended things when I realized she was in my class. But McKinley was stubborn, and I had a feeling she’d start looking for ways around it, none of which would satisfy Casaundra and all of which would still put McKinley at risk. No, I needed to push her away. As much as it broke my heart… I needed to push her away.
Then the doorbell rang, startling me from my thoughts. I could see McKinley’s shape through the frosted glass window of my door, and instantly, I felt a shockwave of tension course through my body. I slowly unlocked the door and cracked it open at a snail’s pace. Stalling wasn’t going to do me any good, but it allowed me a little time to marinate in my misery.
“Hey, Knight,” she said, beaming at me with cheerful eyes and a cheery grin. She gave me a tender kiss on my cheek.
“Hey McKinley, thanks for stopping by,” I said way more formally than I meant to. I sounded like I was greeting a co-worker I’d never met.
“Did you get a chance to eat yet?” she asked me, slipping off her jacket and tossing it onto my sideboard. She was so comfortable here already, and that was going to make this all the harder.
“No, I haven’t. I’m not really hungry,” I answered, rocking back and forth on my heels.
“Well, I’m starving,” she said, dramatically grabbing her stomach. “I’m in the mood for some pizza,” she said with a smile. “There is this really great pizza place in the next town over. And no one should be there from school.”
Oh, god, no. We can’t go out in public. “I uh… I think I have a frozen pizza in the fridge. I can just make you that if you’re hungry.”
McKinley looks at me, confused. “What? No. Why can’t we go out?”
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea if we go flouncing around in front of people like we are a real couple, okay?” Well, you are a world-class asshole, Knight. Well done, buddy. Jumping right in to being a complete dick.
McKinley looks at me, her eyes conveying a level of sadness I never wanted to see from her. “Knight… what is wrong with you?”
“I’m fine. Why would you think something’s wrong? Nothing is wrong,” I said, trying to regain control of my faculties in light of her breaking my heart.
“You just seem a little… cold. Are you sure everything’s okay? Did I do something wrong?”
“McKinley. Jesus, I’m fine. Just let it go.” I answered tersely, stalking toward the kitchen to pour myself a glass of scotch.
McKinley followed me, her steps heavy, and full of anger now. “I will not let it go. Why are you acting like this?”
“Drop it!” I barked at her, a little more sharply than I meant to. She took a step back and glared at me. Anger is better than sadness, I thought, as I tried not to betray my own devastation.
McKinley crossed her arms over chest and just… stared at me.
There was no avoiding this moment. It was better to just get it over with now. I sighed and tried not to hesitate. “McKinley, this isn’t working,” I managed to choke out.
“What do you mean it’s not working? What isn’t working?” she asked, her face contorting into a deep-set frown.
“This. This thing we’re doing… it’s not working.”
“You mean us? Why?” She folded her arms defensively, her eyes zeroing into my psyche in hopes of extracting a legitimate excuse from me.
I released a heavy, regretful breath. I had to stick to my guns and avoid the truth. The truth would only mak
e things worse. She needed to hate me. I knew it was the only way to truly protect her.
“The truth…” I began, then stopped like a coward, hoping a better excuse would suddenly materialize. The room became insanely quiet as she stared me down. I only heard the steady, panicked beat of my own heart. McKinley leaned forward, anxious for an explanation. “The truth is… there’s someone else.” And the award for world’s biggest asshole goes to… Knight Ramsay!
Her eyes narrowed in a glare of pure rage as her arms dropped to her side. “You had me come all the way over here to tell me… what? You’re interested in someone else? Dating someone else? Fucking someone else?” She was getting more and more angry, and as much as it broke my heart, I needed her to hate me, so she would just forget about me.
“Does it matter, McKinley? There is someone else,” I lied. “What more do you need to know?”
“Of course, it matters! What was all of this? All of this bullshit? Were you just using me for a good time? Wasting my time? For what?”
God, you are killing me, McKinley. “Yes,” I said, not committing to any single question she had asked me. Lying had always been second nature to me. I had lied my way out of a hundred relationships I didn’t actually care about. But lying to McKinley right now was ripping me apart.
She bit her lip and just stared me down, as she processed everything I had said. It felt like forever before she finally whispered, “Why? Why are you doing this, Knight?”
“Because I’m an asshole, McKinley.” Well, that’s not a lie.
“You got that right!” she yelled at me as she stalked back to the hallway and grabbed her jacket. I followed even though my instinct told me to stay in the damn kitchen. When I got a little too close, she spun around, and before I could duck, she reared back and punched me square in the jaw. Even though I had it coming, it hurt like a bitch. She had one hell of a right hook.
Forbidden Lessons Page 7
