“A man could starve waiting on you hens to finish talking.” Ivan’s eyes locked on the platter Lora Beth had tucked in the curve of her arm. “Are those whoopie pies?” He reached for them.
Shocked that he would invade her personal space like this, she took a step back.
“Oh, you’re shy, then,” Ivan said, then guffawed. “That’s all right. I like a shy maedel.”
Ben stepped in front of her and extended his hand to Ivan. “Hello, I’m Benjamin Troyer. I’m a friend of Lora Beth’s.”
Ivan looked at his hand, then gave it a hard shake while obviously noting his backpack. “Ivan Nissley. Nice to meet you. Where are you from?”
“Charm. I hear you’re in the logging business. I’m an accountant. How’s business going for you these days?”
Lora Beth’s mouth dropped open as Ben smoothly guided Ivan back to the house. Then she turned to Rosemary and Rebecca, who stared after the two men, both looking dumbfounded. “I’m sorry,” she said.
Her daughters both turned toward her, Rebecca crossing her arms. “You’ve got some explaining to do, Mamm.”
“But first,” Rosemary piped in, “I have to apologize.” She let out a long sigh. “I had nee idea Ivan was like this. LeRoy tried to warn me . . .” She leaned forward. “He’s been driving me crazy all week. I can see why he’s still single.”
Lora Beth couldn’t help but laugh, which broke the tension. “I’ll explain about Ben later.” She looked at the house. “Right now, I think he might need saving.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Rebecca grinned. “He seems able to manage Ivan all right. But I’m dying to know the real reason he’s here.”
Lora Beth said nothing as they walked toward the house, but she was dying to know the real reason too.
Chapter 5
After supper, Ben privately offered to drive Lora Beth home in her buggy, ignoring the inquisitive stares of her three daughters, who, he had discovered, were just as kind and sweet as their mother. Fortunately, Lora Beth agreed to let him. And when Ivan suggested she take a little walk down the road with him, she’d said, “I already told Ben he could take me home.”
Ben felt a little sorry for the guy at that moment, as he’d looked genuinely disappointed. But he was also relieved that Lora Beth and Ivan hadn’t hit it off. He couldn’t imagine her with someone so loud, large, and a little too ignorant when it came to personal space. Ivan was a good guy, but he was just too . . . much.
And he still didn’t like the thought of Lora Beth with any man, and that feeling had intensified when he helped her into the buggy. It was dusk, and the fading sunlight illuminated her face, which was just as pretty as he remembered. But he was also feeling something different that both pleased and unsettled him. He cleared his throat as he put his backpack behind the buggy seat and stepped inside.
“Well,” she said, glancing at him, “that was an interesting meal.”
“It definitely was.” He guided the horse out of Rosemary and LeRoy’s driveway. “I enjoyed meeting yer daughters. They’re fine people, as are their husbands.”
Lora Beth smiled, and his heart skipped a beat. That had to be because he’d been able to help her tonight. Helping a friend. Yes, that was all it was.
“I hope you’re not too upset that I dropped by unexpectedly,” he said.
“Nee. It’s gut to see you again. I’m just confused.”
So am I. He cleared his throat again. “I listened to Menno, and I probably shouldn’t have.”
“Yer friend with holes in his pockets.”
Ben chuckled. “The very one. Anyway, after talking to him, I thought you might have needed a little more help than just some advice in a letter.”
“It turns out I did.” She looked at him. “I can’t believe you came all the way here just to be a buffer between me and Ivan.”
“You’re only a couple of hours away by taxi,” he said.
“That’s still a long ride.” She paused. “Where are you staying tonight?”
“At a bed and breakfast in Harpersfield.”
She nodded. “It’s a gut one.” Then she didn’t say anything for a long moment.
“I’ll be leaving in the morning,” he said.
She nodded, but she still didn’t say anything. Now that they were away from Ivan and the matchmakers, he wondered if she was uncomfortable with him being here. He had surprised her out of the blue, and now he realized he’d overreacted a bit. This was the last time he was taking Menno’s advice.
She gave him directions to her house, and when they arrived, he pulled into her driveway and steered the buggy to the barn. “I’ll be glad to put the horse up for you,” he said.
“That would be nice.”
“And when I’m finished, I’ll call a taxi to take me to the B and B.” He started to get out of the buggy but stopped when she put her hand on his arm. He looked at her, and the expression on her face made his heart race again.
“Would you mind staying for a little bit?” she said, her voice almost timid. “I can make some tea. Or kaffee if you’d like.”
“Kaffee sounds gut.”
She smiled. “See you in a little bit.” Then she climbed out of the buggy, taking her empty platter with her.
Ben’s heart thumped harder. Oh nee. He recognized this feeling. Attraction. The same feeling he’d had with Elsie but different. Much different. Menno had been right after all . . . and that was a problem.
* * *
Lora Beth’s hands shook a little as she poured two mugs of coffee. She hadn’t felt like this since Marvin. But although she’d had intense feelings for her husband, they’d been different from her attraction to Ben. Ben had been a lively conversationalist at supper, and he’d kept Ivan occupied with more questions about his business and the various people they were both acquainted with in Holmes County. She’d discovered two new things about Ben as well—he enjoyed doing crossword puzzles and playing ping-pong.
But what had really touched her was that he’d come all the way from Charm to help her. She’d expected only his advice, never imagining he would go to the trouble of coming in person. Although her dilemma had been a big deal to her, she never thought it would be a big deal for Ben. Yet she was so thankful he’d been here. She wouldn’t have to worry about Ivan again.
Ben knocked on the screen door, carrying his backpack. She let him in, butterflies flittering around her stomach.
He smiled. “Where can I wash up?” he asked.
She showed him where the bathroom was, then put the coffee mugs on the table along with a bowl of sugar and a small pitcher of milk. She didn’t even know how Ben took his coffee. There was so much to learn about him, yet she felt like she knew him well.
When he returned, he sat down at the table and set his pack on the floor. “Danki,” he said, lifting his mug and taking a sip.
“You take yer kaffee black, then?”
“Sometimes. Depends on mei mood. I’m not opposed to a little sugar.”
“I like mine with lots of sugar and milk.” She added three teaspoons of sugar and a large pour of milk to her mug. Then she took a sip and looked at him. He was staring at the coffee mug, looking pensive. She frowned as the awkward silence stretched between them. “You’ll like the bed and breakfast,” she said, grasping for anything she could think of to get the conversation going.
“So you told me.” He looked at her, concern in his eyes.
She realized that, while these burgeoning feelings she was experiencing were new, she was too old to be coy. “Ben, is something wrong?”
“I . . . I don’t know.” He lifted his gaze and met hers. “When we first started writing to each other, I didn’t think it would lead to anything. But I’ve been grateful for yer friendship. When you said you didn’t want to be forced into dating anyone, I had to come here. I didn’t want you going through that hardship. But now I’m wondering if something else is happening . . . between us.”
A lump formed in her throat. “Me too.
”
He leaned forward. “Then you’re also feeling something?”
She nodded, her heart rate increasing. “Ya. I’m confused, too, Ben. I also value yer friendship, and I don’t want to lose that.”
“I don’t want to lose yours.”
“But now that you’re here”—she lowered her gaze, her cheeks heating—“And I’m seeing you in person . . .”
“Things are different.”
“Ya.” She looked at him. “In a gut way.”
He grinned. “What should we do?”
“I don’t know.”
Tentatively, he took her hand in his. “Is this okay?”
She nodded. His hand wasn’t work-worn like Marvin’s had been. But Ben worked hard in a different way. He was a successful accountant, an accomplished gardener and cook, and he helped others at the drop of a hat. “Elsie was a lucky woman,” she said, the words slipping out. Yet they were the truth.
“And Marvin was a lucky man.” He released her hand. “I’ve got to be honest. This is throwing me for a loop. I’m not going to move in with Paul after all. They don’t need me like I thought they did. But I’ve got a grandboppli and a new one on the way too.”
“I’m settled in mei life here as well.”
He ran his finger over the mug’s curved handle. “But I can’t see things between us going back to the way they were.”
Lora Beth clasped her hands together, already missing his touch, but knowing he was right. “Me either. I think we both need to pray about what our next step is.”
“Ya,” he said softly. “We do.” He paused, his gaze intently holding hers. “I should geh now.”
“I think that’s a gut idea. I’ll geh to the phone shanty and call a taxi for you.”
“Danki.”
Lora Beth got up from the table and resisted looking at Ben again. Her chest squeezed as she hurried to the phone shanty at the end of her driveway. She didn’t want him to leave so soon, but she also knew it was the right thing to do. They both had thinking and praying to do—and lots of it.
When she returned to the house, Ben was at the sink washing out the coffee mugs. “I hope you don’t mind,” he said, putting the last one in the dish drainer. “Force of habit.”
She couldn’t help but smile as he dried his hands. He was so courteous. “The taxi will be here in a few minutes.”
“I’ll wait for it outside.” He lifted his backpack and looked at her. “I’d like to drop by in the morning and say good-bye, if that’s all right with you.”
“Of course.”
He nodded. “Gute nacht, Lora Beth.” He hesitated, then walked out of the kitchen to the front of the house. A minute later she heard the door shut.
When she stepped into the living room to make sure the door had latched closed, she looked out the window and saw the taxi pull into her driveway. Ben got into the car, and she watched as the driver made his way to the end of the driveway, then onto the road.
What am I going to do, Lord? A simple friendship, begun with a recipe for éclair cake, had just become very, very complicated.
* * *
As soon as Ben returned home from Ashtabula, he saw Menno sitting on the front porch of his house, carving a bar of soap. Ben paid the taxi driver and slung his backpack over his shoulder. He was tired from not sleeping a wink last night, and when he told Lora Beth good-bye this morning, it had taken everything he had to leave her. His mind and emotions were still whirring after the car ride. Dealing with Menno was the last thing he had the energy to do.
Still, he managed to smile as he approached the older man. It wasn’t his fault Ben was tired. Then again, maybe it was—partly. If he hadn’t listened to him, he wouldn’t have gone to Ashtabula. He wouldn’t have these feelings that both thrilled and terrified him. One minute his life was set, and the next it was upside down. He didn’t like that one bit.
“How’d it geh?” Menno asked without looking up.
Ben sat down on the top porch step. “Confusing,” he said. There was no reason to hide anything from his friend now.
“As expected.” Menno set the soap in his lap. “Women are confusing creatures. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.”
“I think Fannie would say the same thing about you,” Ben mumbled.
He chuckled. “That she would. So, tell me what you’re confused about.”
Ben closed his eyes and rested the back of his head against the wood pole holding up the front porch awning. “Everything. I never thought I would have these feelings again.”
“What feelings are those?”
Ben opened one eye. “Do I really have to tell you?”
Menno picked up the soap again. “I guess not. You’ve fallen in love, eh?”
“Not love. That takes time and proximity. You can’t fall in love with someone through just a few letters and two meetings in person.”
“Who says?”
“Common sense does.”
“And common sense has what to do with love?” He scraped a thick slice of soap from the bar, and suddenly the soap started to look like a duck. “Fannie married me. That right there is a reason to question her common sense.”
From the twinkle in Menno’s eye, Ben knew he was joking. But that didn’t ease his mind. “I have family here. She has family there. We’re in our forties, for Pete’s sake. Neither one of us likes change very much.”
“Well, there’s yer answer. End the relationship.”
Menno’s words felt like a stab to the heart. “I can’t do that.”
“Why not? You just laid out why a future relationship is moot.”
“Because . . .” Ben hung his head. “I like her, Menno. I like her a lot. I feel more alive since meeting her than I have in a long time. But there are too many complications.”
“If you’re meant to be together, God will make it so, even if there’s a mountain separating you.” Menno closed his penknife and stuffed that and his soap in his pocket. “You’ll figure it out, with the Lord’s help. Now, how about we talk about me? Fannie’s threatening to move in with her schwester in Millersburg.”
“Really?”
Menno nodded, and Ben realized he was really worried for the first time. “I can’t let that happen. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
Ben sat up and looked at him. “Then you have a decision to make. It’s either yer stuff and yer shopping, or it’s her.”
“I know, I know. But when I think about getting rid of mei things, I get anxious. And I know I shouldn’t be anxious for anything, but I am when it comes to this. I’ve made an idol out of mei possessions, Ben. I don’t know how it happened, but it did.”
Ben tapped his finger on his chin. “Maybe we’re going about this the wrong way. We’ve been focusing on you stopping yer spending and selling yer things to get you out of the red and some savings. You have to stop spending. That’s nonnegotiable. But what if you gave away yer things? What if you figured out who can benefit from what you have?”
“I’m not sure that will work. Mei kinner don’t even want mei things.”
“Just because they don’t doesn’t mean other people wouldn’t. There are always needs that need to be met, Menno. You just have to open yer eyes to them. For example, Andy Kaufmann can use a few more milk cans, and I saw several in the back of that spare barn I helped you with. You can clean them up and give them to him. I know he’d appreciate it.”
Menno lifted one bushy brow. “That just might work. I should have thought of that before.” He looked at Ben. “I could use yer help figuring out who needs what, though.”
“On one condition.”
“What’s that?” he said, sounding suspicious. “Last time I agreed to one of yer conditions, I ended up buying a box of nails.”
“That wasn’t mei fault,” Ben said, laughing. Then he sobered. “Mei condition is simple. You don’t buy anything else, not one single thing, until both barns are cleaned out. Then you’ll tear them down and donate th
e wood. If you don’t have room to put things, you won’t buy them.”
Menno groaned and put his hand over his chest. “You’re driving a hard bargain, Benjamin Troyer. You know that?”
“I do. But if you want to keep Fannie with you, you have to make the sacrifice. Besides, this is gut for yer soul. You said it yerself, yer things are yer idol, and you and I both know we’re not supposed to have any of those in our lives.”
Menno got up from the chair. “You’re right on both counts. Can you come to mei place Monday morning so I can get started? Unless you’ll be busy with work.”
“I don’t have to see any clients until the afternoon, so I’ll be there.” Ben rose from the step. “You won’t regret this, Menno, even though it will be hard.”
“Humph.”
“See you tomorrow,” Ben called, grinning as Menno descended the porch steps.
“Humph.”
Ben watched as Menno got into his buggy and left, then he sat down in the porch chair his friend had just vacated. The day’s heat was already rising, and he could use a cool drink. But his mind drifted to what Menno said. He and Lora Beth had agreed to pray about their relationship, but did he really believe God could overcome all the obstacles in front of them? He’d been so doubtful on the ride home, which wasn’t helping. But doubting was the exact opposite of what he should be doing—and not just because he cared for Lora Beth.
He closed his eyes and put all his trust and belief in the Lord. If it was meant to be with him and Lora Beth, God would make a way. And if he and Lora Beth didn’t have a future together, he would accept that too.
Chapter 6
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us about Ben,” Rachel said when she and her sisters all burst into Lora Beth’s kitchen.
“Gute morgen to you too.” Lora Beth sat down with the bottle of syrup in her hand, the syrup she intended to pour over the short stack of pancakes she’d made for her late breakfast. She rarely had sweets for her morning meal, but after telling Ben good-bye and not knowing if she’d see him again, she’d immediately gone to the pantry for the sweet stuff.
Amish Generations Page 17
