by Morgana Best
“Oh.” There really was no suitable reply to that.
He was still staring hard at me. “Your hair! I almost didn’t recognise you.”
My hand flew to my wig. “Oh, um, yes. I changed it.”
He bit his lip for a while before speaking. “So have they finished questioning you? Why are you still here?”
“Detective Power said they might need to speak to me again, but he didn’t seem sure. I figured he wanted to see if my statement matched the other witness’s statement.”
Max nodded. “That seems likely. You said they drove you here?”
I nodded.
“I’ll give you a lift back if you like.”
I did my best not to look too pleased. “Thanks, that would be nice.”
“Wait right here and I’ll see where those two detectives are at with everything.”
Max returned fifteen minutes later, but before he spoke to me, turned back to speak to the desk sergeant.
I looked at his bum. I hadn’t meant to look at his bum, but it was right there in front of my eyes, and it was great—a really top notch bum. I thought about sending his mum a congratulations card, but I figured Hallmark didn’t make those. ‘Congratulations! Your son has a delightful buttock.’ Or was it buttocks? Maybe I should ask Max.
I should definitely not ask Max.
“You ready to go?” Max asked me.
“I’m ready to shake my tail-feathers,” I said. Then I felt my cheeks burn. “Not that I’m thinking about tail-feathers.”
Chapter 4
Max hadn’t spoken to me much on the trip back to my place. I could tell something was bothering him. He left me at my front gate and promised to return later to see if I was okay. I had no idea if he meant later that day or later in the week.
I hurried to the door and flung it open. My stomach was growling and I was desperate for food. Just as my hand reached for the fridge door, I heard a knock. Surely Max wasn’t back already? I hurried back into the living room and opened the front door.
“Oleander! I wasn’t expecting you.” I quickly added, “That’s fine, of course. Come in.”
“Goldie, what happened to your hair?”
I had almost forgotten about the wig. “Oh! Um, I had a heated roller accident, so I had to throw on this wig.”
Oleander nodded absently and continued to fidget. I could see something was wrong. “I can’t come in. Not yet anyway.” She pointed to the car.
I peeked around her and could see Athanasius sitting in a tiny, white car. “Whose car is that?”
“Enid White’s. You don’t know her.”
“What’s wrong? Are you concerned that I was the one to discover the vet’s body? I suppose I should have broken the news more gently in my text.”
“No, it’s not that, and nothing is wrong, exactly,” she said. “It’s just that… I’m so not good at asking favours.”
“You want to ask me a favour?” I asked, confused.
“Not for myself,” she said, gesturing to the car. “It’s just… Oh well, I might as well come out and say it. Do you have room for one more?”
I rubbed my forehead. “Room for one more? Do you mean Athanasius? Why? Isn’t he able to stay at the retirement home any longer? You’re not making much sense.”
Oleander sighed. “I’m sorry. I know I’m not making any sense. It’s just that Enid White—you don’t know her—has taken ill. She’s been in hospital. Now she has to go into the assisted care for a few days, and she doesn’t know what to do with him.”
I rubbed my forehead hard. “With Athanasius? I didn’t know he was dating anyone.”
Oleander’s hands flew to her cheeks. Her mouth formed a perfect O. “I don’t think I’ve done a very good job of explaining. I’ll start from the beginning. Enid White has a pademelon. Someone minded the pademelon for her while she was in the hospital, but they can’t do so any longer, and now she’s going to the assisted care facility at the retirement home. She’ll be stuck there for a few days. Are you able to mind a pademelon? I mean, I know it’s a terrible imposition, but it is only for a few days, and…”
I was immensely relieved. It wasn’t a house guest after all. “Of course I can look after a paddy melon,” I said. “It’s no trouble at all.”
Oleander looked confused but immensely relieved. “That’s great, Goldie. Thank you. I’ll just tell Athanasius to bring him in.”
I watched her walk away for a while and then I walked inside to the coffee machine. These local residents sure took their fruit seriously. Still, the price of mangoes was exorbitant and I supposed other fruit was awfully expensive, but such a fuss over a melon—it all seemed a little too much to me.
Oleander returned. “That’s so good of you, Goldie,” she said again.
“I’ll have to put it up high,” I said. “Otherwise Persnickle might eat it.”
Oleander gasped with horror, leaving me to assume this type of melon must indeed be horribly expensive. “I’m sure he wouldn’t do a thing like that!” she said. “Wombats aren’t carnivores, after all.”
I was really worried about her. “Oleander, have you been drinking, or smoking something strange? Maybe swapping medications with someone?”
She looked at me as though I was the one who was strange, when Athanasius walked through the door and gasped. “Goldie, what have you done to your hair?”
I sighed. “I burnt it off with heated rollers, by mistake of course,” I hastened to add just in case he thought it was a fashion statement. “I’ll have to wear a wig until it grows back.” I looked at what I presumed was the melon wrapped up in a blanket. To my horror, a little head poked out over the top.
I backed up and shrieked. “What’s that?” I asked, pointing.
“It’s a pademelon, like I told you,” Oleander said. “Goldie, you sure are acting strange today.”
“I’m acting strange?”
Oleander frowned. “I must say, it is awfully kind of you to mind the pademelon. I told Enid White that you’re good at looking after native animals, so you wouldn’t mind another one for a few days.”
I was perplexed. “But I thought I was looking after a piece of fruit.”
Oleander and Athanasius exchanged glances.
Athanasius put the little creature down on the floor. I shrieked again. “It looks like a giant rat!”
“I kept telling you over and over again. He’s a pademelon,” Oleander said.
“I’ve never heard of them before. He looks like a cross between a kangaroo and a rat.” Still, the little creature was cute, sporting a cream belly and a brown-grey body with red fur over his neck and shoulders. He looked like an extremely overweight but miniature kangaroo.
“A pademelon is like a very small wallaby,” Athanasius explained. “This is a redneck pademelon.”
“I’m sure you don’t need to insult him,” I censured him.
I didn’t know what I had let myself in for. Sure, I preferred the pademelon to a human houseguest, but what would Persnickle think? I was about to find out.
Persnickle walked into the room. He didn’t notice the pademelon at first, but then, all at once, he did. Thankfully, he didn’t think the pademelon was a type of carrot treat, but he let out a wombat shriek and sprinted from the room, which for a wombat, was like a fast amble.
“They’ll get used to each other,” Oleander said. “Let’s all have some coffee and wait for them to become friends.”
“How long do you have?” I said snarkily, but then went to make the coffee.
“Why don’t I make the coffee and you can do something to make Persnickle happy?” Oleander suggested.
“Okay.” I put on a DVD of Starsky and Hutch, and as soon as Persnickle heard the theme music, he waddled back into the room, looking around warily. I handed him a carrot. The pademelon had run under a chair and was eyeing Persnickle with what appeared to be trepidation.
“What’s his name?” I asked them.
“Paddy,” Oleander said. “
It’s not a very imaginative name.” She pulled a glass container out of her handbag. “Here is his food, and these are the instructions for what he eats. I also have some special potted grasses in the car that are supposed to be left around so he can eat them.”
I continued to rub my forehead.
“Don’t worry about it, Goldie. You’ll be fine.” Oleander nodded slowly in encouragement. “Your place is secure for native animals and you’re already experienced with them.”
I shook my head. “I’m not really experienced with them.”
Athanasius tapped me on the shoulder. “Well, this should make you happy.”
I peeped into the living room, and was relieved to see Persnickle stretched out in his favourite spot in front of the TV, and Paddy the pademelon was right behind him.
“It seems they will get on well with each other,” Athanasius said with obvious relief.
I turned to the kitchen. “Let’s all fetch our coffee and take it into the living room. We can watch them.”
No sooner had I taken a step, than I heard another shriek. I spun around to see Paddy sitting on top of Persnickle. Persnickle was running around in circles, apparently trying to dislodge the pademelon.
Oleander clamped her hands over her eyes. “I was hoping that wasn’t going to be a problem. Enid said she has a robot vacuum cleaner, and Paddy likes to ride around the house on it.”
Oleander and Athanasius didn’t stay long. Perhaps they were afraid I would change my mind about Paddy. After I showed them out, Persnickle was still watching Starsky and Hutch, much to my relief. I poured myself a glass of wine and leant back on the sofa, momentarily distracted by the Torino flying around a corner. I wondered how many of those cars they had totalled during production.
I was certain the detectives were going to try to pin this one on me. After all, I was a stranger to town, and Detective Power had thought I was wearing a disguise. I would have to take matters into my own hands. Oleander had told me I was a powerful sea witch, but all I knew about that to date was that if someone killed me, they could get my powers, whatever they were. Actually, I knew one other thing. When I was angry, frightened, upset, or experiencing any powerful emotion, a storm brewed. I would like to be able to control that, but sea witch or not, I had long been a practising traditional witch. Now was the time to act.
I hurried to my altar cupboard and looked for the items I would need. I paused to admire my glass-encased bayberry candle and my glass-encased Road Opener candle, both of which I had bought from the US. The shipping on both items had been exorbitant, but was worth it. I reached into the cupboard and pulled out calamus root, liquorice root, and bergamot leaf for compulsion, and althaea root for truth.
Now, what else did I need in a truth spell? My mind had gone blank. I returned to my coffee table and fetched my glass of wine. I downed it in one gulp. Surprisingly, it didn’t help me think any more clearly. What else did I need for a truth spell? And where was my Book of Shadows? I hurried back to my bedroom and found it on my bedside table. I had been reading it the previous night. How could I have forgotten?
I had spells for love, spells for money, and spells for protection, but I didn’t have a truth spell in my Book of Shadows.
Never mind, intention was everything. I would use the ingredients I had, light a candle, and focus on the truth coming out.
I changed my mind and decided to google truth spell, but nothing much turned up. Still, I was sure that the compulsion idea was good, and I could use the ingredients of a Bend Over work used in hoodoo to bend someone to one’s will.
I thought of coffee. I always chose coffee in spells to speed up the process. Obviously, the police would find I didn’t have any gunshot residue on my clothes, but I might be in the Southport watchhouse by then, so I grabbed a bag of coffee beans and ground some. The Southport watchhouse was where people were held awaiting trial or a bail hearing. Some newspaper articles labelled the conditions there as “inhumane,” and Oleander had been ensconced there only recently.
Since Persnickle liked to steal lit candles, I shut the sliding doors across my altar room. He shot me a look but went back to watching Starsky and Hutch. Now that I was safely secured in the room, I looked in my cupboard for candles. I had brown ones, white ones, black ones—all colours and sizes of candles. I finally decided on the typical colours for Bend Over, a rich orange-yellow candle.
Once my ingredients were assembled, I called the quarters. I didn’t always call the quarters, but I figured I needed all the help I could get. I always started in the east, but I had been so accustomed to doing it in my old apartment in Melbourne that I had to think twice about the position of the east in my new house.
Of course—east was the ocean. That should be easy. Aloud I said, “I call for your help, Guardians of the East.” I turned clockwise. “I call for your help, Guardians of the South.” I continued, “I call for your help, Guardians of the West. I call for your help, Guardians of the North.” Then I said, “The goddess within and without, create a circle round about. Let love in; keep evil out. The circle is up, around about.” I used to watch a lot of Charming Pixie Flora videos back in the day, and I had taken that wording from one of her old videos.
I wrote on a piece of paper, The truth will come out, and fast! I placed the paper in a fireproof dish. I dropped in calamus root, liquorice root, bergamot leaves, althaea root, and some coffee. I picked up the candle and put some Bend Over oil on it, stroking the oil in an upward direction, all the while focusing on my intent.
I made some holes in the candle and pushed some of the oil and the ground herbs into the wax. I placed the candle on the fireproof dish on top of the name paper, and sprinkled more calamus, liquorice, bergamot, and coffee all over it.
I picked up my lighter and lit the candle, saying as I did, “Spirits and guides, go out immediately and make the truth come to light. I need to know the truth and I need it now, immediately!”
The candle lit at once and burnt strongly, which I took as a good sign. I wrote on another name paper, The truth will come out now. I underlined the word now. Using tweezers, I picked up the piece of paper and burnt it, holding it over the candle flame. It caught alight and fell into the candle, which made the candle burn even faster.
I always liked to read candles. If they did not light easily, I took that as a sign that I would have to work harder to achieve my outcome, and if they worked quickly and burnt well as this one did, I took it that my spell would be successful.
I closed the circle and then went to the kitchen looking for cake. Spells always made me hungry, and food was useful for grounding myself after a spell. I was careful to shut the sliding doors behind me so Persnickle would not steal the candle. After he had stolen the first candle, I had made sure that my altar table was quite high, but I wasn’t taking any risks. Although I couldn’t actually see the candle, I was reassured by the fact that I had installed several smoke alarms in that room, and I had a large jar of water sitting just inside the door should anything go wrong.
I walked back to the sofa and stretched out on it. I wanted to throw on some old clothes, but I was worried that Max would return, so I had no choice but to stay in my tight jeans and tight bra.
After an hour, I had convinced myself that Max wasn’t coming back. I was about to abandon my tight clothes for my hideous, old pyjamas and take off the hot wig. No sooner had I made that decision, than I heard a car. I crossed to the window and peeped out surreptitiously. Sure enough, it was Max’s bright red car. I walked back to the sofa.
After he knocked, I counted to five before I opened the door. After all, I didn’t want to appear too eager.
“Hello Max, come in,” I said I what I hoped was a nonchalant tone.
As soon as he walked inside, I shut the door behind him. Persnickle was snoring gently in front of the TV, so I grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. Paddy was asleep next to him.
“Would you like some coffee?” I asked him.
“Yes,
I have a serious coffee addiction,” he said. “I’m also obsessed with The Bachelor. I watch the Australian Bachelor and the American Bachelor. I can’t seem to stop watching it. There’s always drama, but I can’t stop watching it. I must say, The Bachelor is an obsession of mine.”
I was aware that my jaw had dropped open. Why was he telling me that? Before I had a chance to ask him, he pushed on. “I’m on leave because my supervisor forced me to take paid leave. I didn’t want to take paid leave, but Internal Affairs officers are in town investigating everyone at our police station. My supervisor thought I was the one who called them in, so he told me I had to take paid leave.”
So that was why he was on leave! I wondered why he had decided to tell me now. “Is that legal?” I asked him.
He shrugged. “I have no idea. I don’t suspect my supervisor of any wrongdoing, but he said it’s bad for morale if they think there is a dibber dobber in their midst. I’m a bit upset that he thinks I’m the person who did it, but there’s nothing I can do. I’ve been depressed, moping about the house, not being able to be involved in any cases. I don’t really have a favourite stapler. I just went back to the police station today, hoping I would happen to see my supervisor and he would have a change of heart, but that didn’t happen. I was delighted to see you of course, because…”
At that point, Persnickle woke up, grunted, and hurried over to Max.
“He wants a treat,” I said. “I’ll fetch a bit of carrot for you to give him.”
When I walked back into the room, Max was looking surprised. “Why is there a pademelon here?”
I quickly filled him in, but he didn’t appear to be listening.
“I have no idea why I told you all that,” he said. “Please don’t tell anyone else. It’s all supposed to be hush-hush. Something else I’m not supposed to tell you is that the vet’s computer had words which could be construed as a suicide note on the screen.” He pulled out his phone and showed me a photo of the computer. “I sneaked in and looked through the evidence after you told me that they suspected you.”
