by Mia Madison
The future.
I hadn’t even thought about that. I mean, I’d dreamed about a future with Tyler for years, but tonight was the first time it seemed even remotely possible. My mind filled with questions. Would he call me tomorrow? Would he maybe want to get together on Sunday? Or would I have to wait until Monday to see him? Suddenly, that seemed very far away.
Gabi got me some hot chocolate and we talked for a few more minutes before I headed upstairs. I removed my dress carefully. Now that I’d been in Tyler’s arms twice, the pale blue gown seemed even more special than before. And before I climbed into bed, I ran my fingers over my arms, my lips, my breasts, remembering how his touch had felt.
I couldn’t wait to feel it again.
15
Kait
For the first time in my life, I’d actually been anxious for the weekend to end. The thought of seeing Tyler made an average Monday morning feel like Christmas morning.
I got to work early and had a smile on my face while my coworker grumbled and reached for coffee. I even listened politely as Patrick rambled on about some great feat he’d performed in a video game on Saturday. He didn’t ask me about my weekend, and I was glad. I’d spent so much of the weekend thinking about Tyler that I didn’t have anything else to report.
All Saturday morning, I’d hoped to hear from Tyler. Being glued to my phone paid off in the afternoon when I got a text from him. It was the contact information for his friend’s company. After I forwarded it to Sierra, I texted back to Tyler. We exchanged a few messages over the weekend, but he didn’t say anything about Friday night. I didn’t blame him. A text message wasn’t the best way to talk about something so important. Besides, he was older than me and likely didn’t text as often as my friends and I did.
But now that I was here at work, I wondered when I’d see him. Would he ask me to come up to his office? Or join him for lunch? Or would he want to go out to dinner some night this week? That last thought made my pulse spike. Dinner with him would be amazing, but I couldn’t help thinking about what might happen after dinner. It was a mesmerizing thought.
I didn’t hear anything from him until Monday afternoon. When his assistant, Monica, asked me to come up, I bolted from my chair. Pausing only to check my hair in the bathroom mirror, I made it up to Tyler’s office in record time. But to my surprise, the door to his office was closed with no light underneath.
“Kait, hi,” Monica said, leading me to her office. “Did you enjoy the award ceremony on Friday?”
“Yes, I did.” I willed my face not to flush. She was just asking a normal question.
“I got a message from Tyler. He’s out of the office today.” She said that last part with a little frown. Maybe that wasn’t usual for him? I hoped he wasn’t sick. “Anyway, he asked me to give you the specs on the newest app we’re working on. Do you know anything about it?”
“Not really. I mean I’ve heard that something’s in the works, but it all seems pretty hush-hush.”
“It is,” Monica said, and she frowned again. “So I was a little surprised that Tyler wanted me to share the specs with you. I don’t mean that you’re untrustworthy or anything, just that we’ve been keeping this one under wraps until the big unveiling next month.”
“I understand.”
“Great. Right now, you just get a paper copy. Read through the plans and the notes, and when you’re done, lock it in your desk drawer. If Tyler wants you to know more, he’ll let you know when he gets back.”
Mmm, a chance to see Tyler. I liked that part. I was disappointed not to see him today, but I could wait. I’d already waited years for him… another day wouldn’t matter.
But I didn’t see him the next day, either. Through a little eavesdropping, I figured out he was in the building, but he didn’t make any effort to contact me. I spent the day working on my own tasks, but whenever I got a break, I read the material Monica had given me. The app Tyler was developing sounded like the mother of all productivity apps. Basically, it was a way to plan your entire life from your phone. It was ambitious—and brilliant. I couldn’t wait to see what the actual program looked like, but I hadn’t been granted access to any of those files.
On Tuesday night when I got home, I texted him and asked how he was. He replied that he was good, and we chatted for a few minutes about nothing in particular.
I didn’t ask what I really wanted to know—which was when I’d see him again.
Wednesday finally brought the news I’d been waiting for. Monica told me to go to Tyler’s office at two and to bring the materials about the app. I grinned when she said that. Of course he’d need to tell her that. He couldn’t very well say that he’d invited the woman he’d kissed on Friday night up for round two.
Or maybe he’d be hands off while we were in the office. I didn’t care as long as I got to see him again.
At one-thirty, I was poised on the edge of my seat, staring at the clock, unable to get any work done.
“Are you okay?” Patrick asked. “Your face is flushed.”
“I’m good,” I told him. And I was even better when it was time to go upstairs.
Monica showed me into Tyler’s office, and I nearly had to stop to catch my breath. He was so damn gorgeous. He rose as I neared, and even in jeans and a button-down blue shirt, he looked as good as he had in the tux. He was just so fit. I’d only barely gotten to touch the smooth skin of his toned pecs on Friday. I was dying to run my hand over his abs. And then lower.
Somewhat breathlessly, I made my way over to Tyler’s desk. He held his hand out, indicating the chair across from his desk. I was a little disappointed—I’d been hoping for a hug at the very least. But we were at work, and probably he was just trying to maintain a little professional decorum.
“Good to see you, Kait. So, what do you think?”
I bit my lip, unsure how to answer that. Should I tell him that Friday had been one of the most amazing evening of my life? Or that I was really looking forward to seeing him again? God, if I were braver, I could say that soon I’d like to make him scream like he me made me scream in the limo. I wished I’d had more experience with men. Then I’d know what to do in this situation. But I’d never met a man like Tyler.
He had his head cocked to the side, looking at me quizzically. “Didn’t you read the material?” He gestured at the packet on my lap.
Oh! He was asking about the app. Clearly I needed to get my mind out of the gutter and gather my thoughts. “It sounds amazing. If it can do even half the things outlined in these papers, it’s going to be a game-changer.”
His smile held a hint of pride. “It can.”
Excitement that had nothing to do with his looks coursed through me. “Is it finished? Have people tested it? Does it all work?”
“Yes, yes, and mostly. A lot of people have been working on this with me. We have a prototype version that’s done well in testing. But before I present this to the world at the trade show in Vegas, I want to make sure it’s perfect. That’s where you come in.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. I’ll get you set up with a beta version, but don’t worry too much about actually using the app. We’ve field tested it, and we’ll be giving certain members of the press beta versions at the unveiling in Vegas. Right now, we’re trying to iron out the remaining bugs and make sure everything runs as smoothly as possible. Your supervisor says you have a good eye for catching problems. I’d like you to look at it from every angle you can, examine the code, make sure there’s not anything we’re missing.”
“I’d love to.” This was a huge opportunity. To be an entry-level employee given access to something like this? Something that would be the main focus of the company for the foreseeable future. I was thrilled to be chosen. Hell, Patrick would probably give up video games for a year for this. “Thank you for this opportunity, Tyler.”
“You’re welcome. I don’t expect you to find any big problems, but it’s always good to get extra eyes on it. Oh, and you c
an’t talk about it to anyone who’s not on the project.”
“I understand. Monica told me,” I smiled at him as I said it. His dark hair was tousled again. It always looked windswept even when he was inside. Suddenly I remembered how it had felt to grasp his hair as he pressed his lips against my nipple, sucking, licking, and driving me insane. That thought made me feel a bit mischievous. “I’m good at keeping secrets.”
Tyler leaned back in his chair, his expression closing off. “I guess we need to talk about… the other night.”
“We don’t have to talk here, if that’s inappropriate. Maybe we could meet for dinner after work some night this week?” Wow, had I just asked him out? Maybe I was getting braver.
“Kait… what we did… I was wrong to let that happen, and I apologize.”
What?
He was apologizing for the most amazing night of my life? I didn’t understand.
Tyler was watching me carefully. After a minute, he sighed. “I’m sorry if you think I’m playing with your feelings. It was entirely my fault. I should’ve been more responsible. It was just… seeing you in that dress again, I just wasn’t as strong as last time. Again, I apologize.”
A whirlwind of emotions was swirling through my head. Did he consider Friday night to be a mistake? How could he? The way he’d held me… the way he’d kissed me… how could he consider that wrong? And then I focused on one thing he’d said. “What do you mean you weren’t as strong as last time?”
Tyler leaned back in his chair, his elbows on the armrests. His fingers were steepled together in front of his face, but his gaze was turned inward. Just when I thought he wasn’t going to answer, he did. “At the wedding four years ago.”
“What about it?”
“After our dance… I wanted to kiss you. Wanted more than that, actually. But I did the right thing. I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t on Friday.”
“What?” None of this made sense. He’d wanted to kiss me after our dance at the wedding? I’d wanted that too! More than anything. But when that beautiful song stopped, he’d let me go and walked away. “But… you just disappeared after our dance. It was like you couldn’t get away from me fast enough.”
“That’s because I wanted you so much. Too much.”
“Too much?” My voice was faint.
Abruptly, he sat up, leaning forward, his arms on his desk. “Do I have to spell it out for you, Kait? You were nineteen. You weren’t even done with your sophomore year of college. Did you really want to be that girl, the one with a much older boyfriend, the one who missed out on all the things that people that age are supposed to do?”
His burst of anger barely registered. Instead, I could only focus on one thing. “You wanted me back then?”
He nodded tersely. “Because I was a selfish ass.”
“But… but I wanted you, too.”
“Oh, I know. I could see it in your eyes. In the way you trembled from my touch. And I almost took advantage of it. Almost saddled you with a guy in his late twenties.”
Very little of this made sense, and the parts that did were almost too painful to contemplate. “But… we’re only eight years apart. That’s not so different.”
“It is when one person is a grown man who’s started his own business. Traveled the world. Dated many women.” Oof… that last part hit me like a ton of bricks. Tyler didn’t seem to notice. “You were just a girl. Had you even had a real boyfriend at that point? You needed to experience life on your own terms, not be weighed down by me.”
“But…”
“And I almost did it. I almost kissed you right there on the dance floor. And I doubt I would’ve stopped there… I had a room at the hotel, and I could imagine you in my bed… screaming my name… and you were nineteen! And my best friend’s sister.”
The pain in his voice focused me. “Tyler, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Because I stopped myself.”
“Even if you hadn’t, it wouldn’t have been wrong. It killed me when you walked away. I wanted to be with you. And I was nineteen, well over the legal age of consent.”
“What’s legal isn’t always the same as being moral.”
“How is it immoral for two people who are attracted to each other to want to be together?” God, this didn’t make sense. Moisture formed along my lower lash line and I fiercely blinked it back. “Why are we even debating what happened four years ago? It’s over. We shared that dance and went our separate ways. But we got a do-over on Friday, and now we have a chance to rewrite history. I’m twenty-three now, Tyler, not nineteen.”
“Four years isn’t much time. You’re still just beginning your adult life.”
“Four years is a ton of time. Alex and Megumi had a baby in that time. I finished my degree. You developed your business into a world-class company. Things change in four years.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that we’re at different points our lives.” Tyler’s voice was gentler now. Sad, even. Somehow, that scared me more than anything else he’d said. “I’m ready to settle down, like Alex did. But you… you’re just starting out, in your career, your love life… Alex says you’ve never even had a real boyfriend.”
I was going to kill my brother, next chance I got. “Alex doesn’t know everything that goes on in my life.”
“So you’re saying you have been in a relationship?” He sounded skeptical.
“I’ve dated.”
“That’s not the same thing.”
“Why can’t you accept that I know what I want?”
“Because my mother didn’t!”
Tyler’s words shocked me into silence. He never talked about his parents—ever. “What do you mean?”
“My father married her when she was barely twenty. She never got to experience anything. Never lived on her own. Never traveled with her friends. Hell, she never even made friends like the ones you have. Her whole life revolved around him, and she was miserable. They were miserable. And I was miserable, too. Why the hell do you think I spent all my time at your house?”
My heart was still aching, but this time for him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that.”
“She never got the chance that you have. You’re young, you’re bright, you have your whole future ahead of you. This is your time to try new things. To explore your options. To really live.” Tyler slammed his hand on the desk. “You shouldn’t be tied down to someone like me at this point in your life.”
His words were breaking my heart. “So… it doesn’t matter what I want?”
Tyler’s expression was somber. “If you haven’t experienced life, how can you know what you want out of it?”
Sadness threatened to overwhelm me, but a little anger managed to break through. He reminded me of Alex when he used to get all bossy and older-brothery. It was maddening as hell to have someone else tell you how you were supposed to live your life. “I don’t need you to look out for me.”
“I’ve always looked out for you,” he said simply. And I realized then that he had. How many times had he cheered me up after I got a cut or a scrape? How many times had he bought me ice cream or showed up with a little treat? Once he’d even carried my bike for over a mile when the chain got stuck and the wheel wouldn’t turn.
“This is different,” I said, and I heard a note of pleading in my voice. “You don’t get to tell me who I should be with or not. Tell me to stay away from you. I’m a grown woman, and I know what I want. You denying me that is not noble. It’s just stupid.”
He shrugged, the expression on his face indicating that that’s just the way it is.
I tried again. “You’re not my brother, you’re my boss.” Presumably, I’d been hired because they knew I was competent. Why couldn’t Tyler see that that extended to my personal life as well as my professional one?
“You’re my boss,” I murmured again, realizing something for the first time. “That’s why you let me in on this project. As a consolation prize. I can’t have you, so instead,
I get to be in on the big company secret.”
“Kait, it’s not like that. You’ve been highly recommended, and I’d like you to take a look. It’s a wonderful opportunity. I’m sure some of the other junior members in your department would be thrilled for a chance like this.”
“Yes, they would,” I said absently. “I get it. I can’t have what I want in my personal life, so you’re giving me a leg up professionally. How thoughtful.” Sarcasm leaked through on that last part.
“It’s for the best, KB.”
“Don’t call me that!” I didn’t want to hear any nicknames from him, it was a painful reminder of our shared history.
Tyler’s eyes were flat and lifeless. “I can’t help it. It’s in my DNA to look out for you.”
“I have a brother to do that. And friends. And me. I’m perfectly capable of looking out for myself.”
“It’s hard for me to see that sometimes.”
“No kidding.”
“But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong about this. And speaking of your brother, what would he say if he knew how I let myself behave on Friday? He’d be livid.”
Inside my mind, I pushed the pain down, and when I spoke, my voice was miraculously cool and calm. “And here I thought you knew him better than anyone in the world.”
“I do,” Tyler said.
“Alex found the love of his life. They had a beautiful baby. He’s happy. Don’t you think he wants that same happiness for me? And for you?”
Tyler’s eyes were so dark they looked like empty holes. “Please, Kait, I’m trying to do what’s best for you. Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?”
I stood up, fighting to keep my voice steady. “It’s only hard because you’re making it hard. If you’d just give up on this ridiculous stance, then we could be together. Maybe we could…”
It hit me then, all the things he was giving up on behalf of us both. Dating. Spending time together. Exploring the depths of our feelings. Maybe we were meant to be together. I’d felt that way my entire life. But he was ruling out the possibility before we even got a chance find out. “You can ask me to look over your new app. You can ask me to leave you alone. But don’t ask me to understand how this makes you feel because you’re wrong. You’re trying so hard to do the right thing that you won’t even consider that you’re doing the opposite.”
