by A. L. Brooks
After a few minutes she saw one and managed to squeak out the name of her hotel to the driver.
The tears started and she couldn’t stop them. She ignored the concerned looks the cab driver sent her in the rear-view mirror and scrabbled in her bag for tissues. Blowing her nose loudly on one, she used another to wipe ineffectually at the steady streams pouring from both eyes.
She hung her head back against the seat. Her mind was in free fall while, in a bizarre twist, the remnants of the incredible pleasure she’d experienced only minutes before still tugged at her clit and breasts.
She’d cheated on Terri.
They were the only clear words her brain could latch on to. Everything else was a blur.
She’d cheated on Terri.
Yes, their relationship was in a heck of a bad place these days, but what she’d just done with Justine made her no better, surely? How could she look Terri in the eyes? How could she dare to aim any more recriminations in Terri’s direction?
Oh God, she hadn’t done it so they’d be even, had she? Had some twisted part of her subconscious thought fucking another woman was somehow okay if Terri had done it first?
She shook her head and stared out at the dark streets passing by.
No, it hadn’t been that. It had been pure, unadulterated attraction, and need, and…fire. A desire so fierce she’d never known anything like it.
It hadn’t been revenge or because she was drunk. It was all about Justine. A woman she’d only known for a little over twenty-four hours. A woman who had quite literally taken Alex’s breath away with one kiss.
And what had followed had been all about them. Together. Nothing and no one else had mattered from the moment they first kissed.
The irony hit her next and it turned to acid deep in her gut. Having found that fire, that connection with someone who made her feel like she could fly, she’d never see Justine again.
Waves of self-pity churned her insides and caused a desperate sob to escape her throat.
Chapter 10
Her eyes looked dreadful. Alex glared at herself in the mirror, poking with disgust at the puffiness underneath them. She grabbed her concealer stick and went to work. The combination of too many tears and insufficient sleep had her looking like a dog’s breakfast on another day when she had to stand up in front of fifteen people and breezily convince them of the merits of the new timesheet system they were required to use. Like that was going to go well with the way she was feeling.
She smoothed the concealer over the dark patches of skin and sighed. Her emotions were all over the place, but she didn’t dare latch on to any one thought in case the tears started again. It took all her effort, but she was just about succeeding in pushing all those emotions into little boxes throughout her mind, locking them tight and hoping she’d lose the keys. She was walking a tightrope of despair between her situation and revulsion at herself.
It was a toxic mix.
She ate her breakfast on autopilot, the croissants and juice seeming tasteless to her dulled senses. She’d just drained the last of the juice when her phone bleeped from across the room. After picking it up she closed her eyes briefly when she saw the notification of a text message from Sonia.
Hey, how was Gabrielle’s last night? Hope you had a good time x
She paused for a few moments, pondering how to respond. There was no way on God’s green earth she was going to tell Sonia what had transpired. At that thought, images of Justine assaulted her, causing her heart to lurch unpleasantly. The feel of Justine wrapped around Alex from behind on the dance floor, and the heat of her body scorching through Alex’s clothes. The taste of her mouth, and the incredible sensations her tongue had engendered when it dipped slowly and seductively into Alex’s mouth. And oh God, the way Justine felt inside her—
She clutched the phone tighter and willed her breathing to slow from the ragged panting that had overtaken her.
Had a lovely time, nice meal, good laugh. She tapped out her response slowly, feeling only a twinge of remorse for the lie.
Great. Call me later for a chat, if you want?
Alex exhaled slowly, relieved. Bullet dodged. From what little she knew of Sonia, even if she had told her the truth, a grilling probably wouldn’t have been forthcoming, but best not the take the chance. Alex was feeling miserable enough without having someone she barely knew berating her.
She glanced at her watch.
Time to face the day.
She tried, in vain, to ignore the fear that rippled through her at the thought. It would take every ounce of energy she had to keep it together for the next ten hours or so.
Justine slumped over the breakfast bar and stirred her coffee half-heartedly. She watched the swirls of cream as the blackness slowly subsumed them.
She knew how they felt.
She hadn’t meant to pounce on Alex as soon as the door was shut. God, she hadn’t meant to pounce on her at all, but her resistance to her own feelings had shattered on that dance floor. Alex’s movements, her smile, her gorgeous body—all of it had just worn down what little self-control Justine had left after two evenings in the company of this amazing woman. The kiss on the dance floor had short-circuited her brain, and all she could think of was getting Alex home.
On the walk to the apartment, she’d had visions of them maybe starting on the couch with a heavy make-out session before transferring to the bedroom. But her hunger for Alex had just taken over the minute Justine got her inside the apartment. Even then, she hadn’t meant to fuck her up against the door—just kiss and caress and warm things up before moving elsewhere. But she’d lost all sense of place and rational thought the moment they were kissing, and suddenly all she wanted, more than anything, was to be inside that incredible woman.
Then Alex had left.
Not since Nadia had Justine felt so low. Her sleep had been fitful; when she was awake, all her brain would allow was the same loop of questions with no answers, mingled with searing images of Alex’s body, her skin, her mouth. When she slept, her dreams were confusing and downright weird.
She sipped at the now-lukewarm liquid in her mug. The main question she couldn’t shake careened around her head yet again.
Why had Alex left so suddenly?
She was temporarily saved from her torture when her phone bleeped beside her.
So how did your evening go? Sorry again that I had to cancel
Sylvie.
Justine groaned and hung her head.
She had no idea what to tell her. Sylvie would presumably be livid at her for repeating her old behaviour. And while she was beyond confused at how things had turned out, she was also a little embarrassed. Usually she was the one making the fast exit from her trysts. Having it done to her, and in such spectacular fashion, caused an uncomfortable heat to spread across her face if she thought too long about it.
So maybe she would just ignore Sylvie’s message until much later in the day.
Or, even better, tomorrow.
She stood and walked over to the sink to throw away the dregs of her cold coffee. As she rinsed out the mug, she couldn’t stop the images and memories of Alex sliding into her mind for the hundredth time. The way she’d kissed Justine, with a hunger that had both excited Justine and, if she were honest, scared her just a little. No one had ever needed her quite like that. What scared her the most about it was that for a moment, just a moment, she’d let her own need run loose, and the depth of it shocked her. Their encounter had been so much more than the one-night stands she’d enjoyed, despite being one of the briefest and only one-sided.
God, if only she could see Alex again. Even if it was just to get an explanation for last night, because the not knowing was driving her mad. She’d thought they were on the same page, that the desire was completely mutual. Especially after they’d got
on so well over the course of two evenings. So why the hell had Alex run out on her? Sure, she wasn’t in Montreal long, but they could still have had last night, and maybe tonight, and…
As she glanced at her phone again, feeling a twinge of guilt at ignoring Sylvie, an idea poked its way into her brain. She smiled to herself as she picked up the phone and began typing.
Long story. Will tell you later. Any chance you could get me Alex’s number from Sonia? Please??? xxx
Alex plugged her laptop into the port that allowed her to display her presentation on the huge TV screen that filled most of the end wall of the conference room. A few keystrokes and her opening slide filled the screen. Technology-wise, she was ready. Energy-wise, not so much.
As she stretched her neck, her upper vertebrae made some alarmingly loud creaking sounds. After pouring some water into a glass, she perched on the edge of the table at the front of the room. In the silence she took her time breathing in and out as slowly as she could. She needed to focus on the next hour and leave behind all the stress the last twelve hours had wrought.
Her trainees began arriving a couple of minutes later, and she mustered all her professionalism to smile warmly at each one. They began to fill the seats around the large table in the centre of the room. As usual, no one took the seats at the front to begin with—the later arrivals found themselves forced to sit near “teacher”, and Alex allowed herself a small internal smile at this often-seen pattern of human behaviour.
She didn’t have a list of names to tick off, but she did know that fifteen people had accepted the appointment. When she had thirteen bodies in the room, she decided to get started—she’d learned long ago never to wait for stragglers who then usually didn’t arrive.
“Good afternoon, everyone. My name is Alex Saunders, and I’m based in our London office, where I head up the team responsible for HR-related training. Thank you for coming to this session today.” It was her standard intro, already honed after the two sessions she’d held yesterday. Thank God she could pretty much recite it with her eyes shut.
A few attendees smiled, but she noted with some trepidation the distinct lack of enthusiasm from most people in the room. Same as in the other sessions. She squared her shoulders and stood up.
“Okay, so today I’m going to be explaining to you the timesheet system we use here at RCS. This system has been in use for over three years now, and is therefore a tried and tested solution for our—”
The door opened to admit her two stragglers, a tall man with the broadest shoulders she’d ever seen, and what she thought was probably a woman, although she couldn’t really tell as the man was standing in front of the other person.
“Sorry we’re late.” The man looked genuinely apologetic. Alex flashed him a warm smile and gestured towards the empty seats at the front of the room.
Then she feared her heart had stopped as he stepped toward the seat, revealing the person he’d partially hidden.
Justine.
No.
No, no, no, no, no!
How could this be possible? How could the universe be so…unfair?
And if she thought Justine had looked sexy in her casual outfits over the last two evenings, she looked breath-taking in a business suit. Alex allowed herself just a moment to take in the visual. The dark blue trouser suit hugged Justine’s lithe body in all the right places. The vibrant blue shirt underneath would probably set her eyes off spectacularly, but Alex didn’t dare look to seek confirmation of that theory. One look in those eyes and she knew she’d fall to pieces. She stopped herself from lingering in her admiration, especially when she realised Justine hadn’t actually looked in her direction yet. She’d look soon, because she’d have to, and Alex waited, counting down until…three, two, one.
Yep, there it was, Justine’s moment of recognition.
Comical, if it wasn’t so awful. Justine’s face was a picture of stunned shock. In the next moment the look transformed into one of hurt confusion that cut through Alex like a knife. At that, her professionalism kicked back in and she swiftly looked away back to the centre of the room. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Justine and the broad-shouldered man take their seats to her right. She was acutely aware that Justine was now only about eight feet away from her.
She was also acutely aware that Justine was staring at her.
Alex cleared her throat and picked up where she’d left off, her heart thudding too fast.
“As I was saying, the system is our tried and tested solution for recording all the time we spend on the work we do for both our clients and for any internal projects.” She was inordinately pleased when her voice didn’t waver.
She moved on with her spiel, and to her immense relief, the process gradually allowed her to forget—almost—the stunning woman who sat to her right.
The next forty minutes passed in a smooth blur. She got a couple of awkward questions at the end, from people clearly not happy with having to use the system at all, but she used all the charm she’d nurtured from years of similar presentations to tell them that, essentially, they had no choice but to just suck it up. She sugar-coated it, of course, but the message was clear.
Soon people were standing and dispersing, and her heart beat even louder because she knew exactly what was coming next, and she couldn’t possibly avoid it. Her stomach churned and she wished she could be anywhere else, anywhere in the world, right now.
Right on cue, Justine stood and walked slowly over to where Alex was unplugging her laptop. To Justine’s credit, she waited until everyone else was well out of earshot before she spoke, and Alex had to silently thank her for that.
“Hey,” Justine said.
Alex exhaled slowly and looked up. Even meeting Justine’s gaze was hard; she didn’t want to see what she thought she would find there, so she directed her view to somewhere near the vicinity of Justine’s right ear.
“Hello.”
Justine let out a half-chuckle, half-sigh. “This is…unexpected, isn’t it?”
Alex couldn’t help herself—the snorted laugh flew out of her lips. “Just a little. Yes,” she bit out.
Justine recoiled slightly. “I would really like to talk to you. But I know that here and now is inappropriate.”
Thank God for that—at least she’s as professional as I am.
But further conversation between them was just not going to be possible. There was no point. Alex had made an awful mistake, something she should never have done and would probably regret for a long time. And no matter how much Justine had stirred in her the night before—or now, standing in front of her in all her gorgeous glory—in the cold light of day, Alex had to walk way.
Had to.
“I don’t think—”
“Please.” Justine’s whisper was laced with tortured emotion that cut Alex to the quick. She dared to meet Justine’s eyes and it was her undoing. Everything flooded back—the heat, the need, the connection that had blown her apart.
Then she was nodding and Justine was smiling in relief.
“Can we meet after work? Maybe grab dinner?”
Alex sighed. What the hell was she doing? She seemed to have no resistance to this woman.
None at all.
“I…I don’t know about dinner. But yes, we can meet.” She closed her eyes for a moment. Something told her she would regret this even more than last night, but the way Justine was looking at her and the warmth of her presence close by demolished all of the flimsy walls Alex had erected since leaving Justine last night. “I’ll be finished by six.”
“Thank you.” Justine reached out a hand, then stopped herself as Alex flinched. “There’s a bar two blocks down from here, on Rue McGill. Hugo’s.”
Alex nodded and had to look away. Whether Justine was aware of it or not, the need in her expression had an
intensity that burned. It was ripping Alex to shreds. She’d spent her whole life doing this—sacrificing her own feelings to keep everyone else happy. Why, now, couldn’t she stop doing that when it mattered the most?
One drink. Just one drink, then walk away.
Justine strode back into her office and shut the door behind her. She flopped down in her chair and huffed out an extended breath.
Seriously? They worked for the same company? The universe was a fucking comedian.
She leaned back in the chair and her head dropped back, sending her gaze to the ceiling.
This was both ridiculous and fortuitous. Although how fortuitous would depend on how she handled their conversation later. Judging from Alex’s reaction to seeing Justine in that conference room, Justine would not have very long later to try to understand firstly, what had happened the night before, and secondly, if anything more could happen in the future.
She puffed out her cheeks. Why was she even thinking about a future? Alex lived in London. She didn’t live in Montreal. Why think there could be anything more than last night?
Because… Because last night had been the most intense interaction she’d ever had with a woman, and something that good should not be written off so quickly, surely. Because there might be a way. Because there might be a chance. Even if just for the rest of this week. To feel that fire again, even just one more time. Because, holy shit, why wouldn’t she want to feel that way again? Yes, Alex had left her…hanging, and her own pleasure had not found release. But even so, touching Alex had been just as satisfying, just as exciting.
She sat up straight and brought her laptop to life. She opened the appointment in her calendar for the training session that had just taken place, noting Alex’s full name as the organiser. Alexandra Saunders. Switching to the company directory, she found Alex’s entry. Director of HR training systems, based in the London office. Worked for RCS for eight years, always in Human Resources. Responsible for a team of six directly, fifteen altogether indirectly, so it wasn’t one of those empty directorships—Alex had significant responsibility, much like Justine herself, even if Alex was at least two pay grades above her.
