He scanned the report she’d finished and set it on the desk. The stern set of his face told her she’d failed. Whatever pride she’d had in the job faded until she was left wondering what she’d done wrong this time. She knew the ratios were right—she’d double-checked her math. She’d looked up the information he’d wanted; she’d prepared the background material. She’d stayed at her desk until nearly midnight to get it all right.
“Tell me about your mother,” Elliot said unexpectedly.
“My mother?”
“When you first started working for me you said I shouldn’t fire you because you’d already quit your breakfast waitressing job and that you had to take care of your mother.”
Heather wished she could crawl under the desk and disappear. “She’s, ah, my mom.”
“Helpful.”
“I don’t know what you want to know.”
“You’re what? Twenty? Twenty-one? So she’s in her early forties. Why do you take care of her? Is she ill?”
“No.” She hesitated. “My mom got pregnant right out of high school. The guy was long gone before she even knew she was pregnant.” Heather didn’t bother explaining about the rodeo cowboy because that would only make things sound even more pathetic. “She had to give up college and any chance for a future because of me.”
“So now you take care of her?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Most families are.” He looked at her for a long time. “I can’t decide if you want more than you have or if it’s just cheap talk.”
“I want more,” she insisted. “You’ve seen how hard I work. I was going to community college until this quarter.” No need to mention the reason, she thought grimly. “I’ll go back. I want to get off the island and start my life.”
“And I want to believe you.” He leaned back in his chair. “You’re like clay. Unformed and useless.”
Heather felt her eyes burn. She wanted to protest the unfair assessment but wasn’t sure what she could say in her defense.
“You’re smart,” he continued. “You work hard. You seem motivated. But you can’t do the work. Not even close. What about college?”
“I don’t have the money.”
He waved a hand. “That’s the least of it. There are grants and scholarships. Have you even tried? Have you done any of the research?”
Embarrassed, she shook her head. “I thought I couldn’t go.”
“If you don’t get a plan together, you’ll be right. Research schools. If you like marketing, then find the top ten marketing schools in the country and start there. University of Michigan at Ann Arbor is right up there. So is the University of Pennsylvania. Look into financial aid. How much does it cost? What grants can you apply for?” His gaze turned pointed. “Ask me for a letter of recommendation.”
“You’d do that?”
“Only if you’ll do your share of the work. I go back to what I said before. I can’t decide why you’re stuck here. Is it because you can’t figure out how to leave your mother or are you one of those people who talks about how things could have been and always has an excuse for why they aren’t that way?”
He was describing Amber, she thought uncomfortably. He wondered if she was like her mother.
“I thought community college was my only option,” she told him. “I didn’t think I could make anything else work.”
“I challenge you to change your thinking. It’s your life, Heather. You’re young and healthy. If you’re going to make your move, this is the time. But no one can make you. You have to be willing to motivate yourself. You have to decide what’s important and then be willing to do the work.” One shoulder rose and lowered. “Or you can stay exactly where you are. Sophie likes you a lot. If you don’t work out in this department, I’m sure she can find you a job somewhere else. You can keep going on as you are now. Living with your mother, taking care of her and always wondering what would have happened if only you’d taken that first step.”
“I don’t want that,” she whispered.
“Then prove it.”
* * *
Lily and Mrs. Bennet had made the decision to raise their kittens together. Mrs. Bennet had taken her kittens into the cat room, as Sophie thought of it, and now the two adult cats shared cuddle time, groomed and monitored all the kittens together. The older kittens—Clover, Daffodil, Petunia and Marigold—were starting to get around more. Sophie tried to spend an hour or so every evening handling the kittens. Once they were a little older, she would have Heather and Kristine’s boys over to socialize them.
Flush from her success hiring Maggie, Sophie told herself she should celebrate, only she couldn’t figure out what to do. Going out to dinner by herself wasn’t her idea of fun and when she’d called Kristine, her cousin had been distracted and said she was busy. Heather was fun, but so much younger, not to mention busy with her own friends and Amber, well, no.
Sophie stared at her phone. There was an obvious solution and she had no idea why she was resisting. She liked Dugan. She enjoyed his company, his conversation and the sex, of course. Not that they could do that anymore.
She supposed that was the problem. Not the sex, or lack thereof, but how everything was different now.
She scrolled through her contact list and pushed the button to call him. When he answered she said, “Why did you have to give a billion dollars away to charity?”
“It wasn’t a billion.”
“It was close. Doing that changes everything.”
“Would it have been better if I’d kept the money?”
“No.”
“That’s why I gave it away. It’s too much money for anyone. Me having it serves no purpose. I’m fine. The money is better off helping other people.”
Which was just so damned altruistic, she thought, equally impressed and annoyed.
“You’re back from Denver,” he said. “How did it go?”
“Maggie starts in two weeks.”
“Impressive.”
“Yes, I am.”
He laughed. “You miss me.”
His tone was low and sexy and made her toes curl. “Not in the least.”
“Liar. I’ll be right over.” He hung up before she could say anything.
For a second she just sat there, then she got up and tried to figure out what she should do. Shower? Change her clothes? Go get a bottle of wine?
The last idea was the only one that made sense so she did that, then collected two glasses. She’d barely put them on the coffee table when she heard a knock at her front door.
“I missed you, too,” Dugan said as he walked into her place and pulled her close.
“Who said I missed you?”
He smiled right before he kissed her.
The feel of his mouth on hers was exactly what she needed. Every part of her remembered how great it had been before and how spectacular it could be now. She should do something subtle like take off her shirt and then lead him to her bedroom. Only...
“I can’t,” she said, stepping back.
He looked more curious than upset. “Okay. Why?”
“I don’t know you.”
“You didn’t know me before.”
She walked toward the sofa and motioned to the wine bottle. “That was different.”
“Ah, I get it.” He cut the foil on the bottle and pulled it free. “You didn’t want to know me before. You thought I was an easy piece of ass.”
His voice was just teasing enough that she didn’t bother being offended. “That is so harsh. I liked you.”
“But you didn’t know me.”
“Have you always been this annoying?”
“I have.”
He pulled the cork out of the bottle and poured them each a glass. They settled at opposite ends of the sofa, facing each other. Mrs. Bennet strolled o
ut of the cat room and walked toward them.
When she jumped on the sofa, Dugan held out his fingers for her to sniff. She immediately draped herself across his lap and began to purr. Sophie understood the inclination. She would like to do the same, only she couldn’t.
“It’s different now,” she said, watching his large, strong hand pet the cat.
“So you said.”
“You’re different.”
“I’m not but your perception is. Because you know about my past. Now I’m not only a real person, I’m a peer and that flusters you.”
She had to admit that for all his physical attributes, she really didn’t like how he was way more grounded and perceptive about people than she was. Wasn’t the woman supposed to be the more emotionally mature one in a relationship? Didn’t everyone say that guys were like plants? Dugan should be more plantlike. It would make things a whole lot easier for her.
“Tell me about who you were before,” she said.
“You didn’t read about it?”
“Some, but a short article doesn’t really capture the essence of who you are.”
She thought maybe he would tease her about sleeping with him once she knew, but he didn’t. Instead, he shrugged. “I’m not sure what you want to know. Like you, I had a great idea in college. I worked with a friend of mine. Eric was so smart, he scared people, but I understood him. We were a good team. We developed a business software that took off.”
She thought about what she’d read. “I’m pretty sure the phrase took off is something of an understatement.”
“We kicked ass,” he amended with a grin that quickly faded. “It was a long time ago. There was so much money and so many opportunities. We were careful to split our work and playtime so the business didn’t suffer and we still had time to enjoy the good life. We hired good people and trusted them.” He looked at her. “Don’t take that personally.”
“I won’t.” She could, but she decided to go with the story. “And then?”
“And then the software got more and more popular. We had government contracts and foreign conglomerates and you name it, they bought from us. We paid less attention to the business, partied a little harder and lived a great life.” He put down his wine. “Then one day Eric dropped dead in front of me.”
Sophie stared at him. “What? I’d read that he died, but none of the articles said... I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks.” He focused on Mrs. Bennet, scratching behind her ears. “He’d gotten into some drugs I didn’t know about and he had a heart attack. It was a hell of a wake-up call. I looked at my life and tried to figure out what I was doing. The business didn’t need me and if I kept on the same path, I was going to end up like Eric. So I quit.”
“You didn’t quit. You sold the company.”
“Same thing. I walked away.”
Giving nearly a billion dollars to charity, she thought, still stunned at the amount.
“I wanted to figure out what I was supposed to do with my life,” he said, looking at her. “I traveled the world, studying with different teachers. I went vegan for a while.”
“But you love a good steak.”
“I do. It didn’t take. I ended up studying Tai Chi with some old guy in China. I stayed for nearly a year and then I came back to the States and settled here. I started my new company, doing what I love but on a smaller scale.”
The seminars, she thought. “Why do you teach? You don’t need the money, do you?”
“No. I teach because I like it. I want to pass on the knowledge. It feels right. But it’s only part of who I am. Life is all about balance.”
Maybe for him, she thought, hoping she didn’t look as uncomfortable as she felt. She wasn’t happy that he was so much more successful and together than she was. That never happened with the guys in her life. She was always the star. She was the one with the money and the high-powered career and the demands on her time.
She had always been the important one.
The unexpected thought surprised her. The important one? That wasn’t good. A relationship was supposed to be about two people being together. Two people who were equals. Maybe they didn’t have the same skill sets, but they each brought something to the table, so to speak.
“What are you thinking?” Dugan asked.
“That my ex-husband isn’t anything like me,” she said, hedging on the truth. “He wanted to be a history teacher at a community college.”
Dugan’s eyebrows rose. “Interesting. That wouldn’t have worked for you. The lack of ambition would have made you antsy. No way that would have made you happy.”
“I didn’t make him especially happy, either. Not that that stopped him from wanting his fifty percent of CK Industries.”
She heard the bitterness in her voice and told herself that at some point she had to let it go. “I don’t miss him but I sure resent him decimating my bank account.” She sighed. “I understand the point of community property, but in my case, it really sucked.”
“Sociologically, we expect the man to be the breadwinner. As a society, we accept, and even expect, the woman to get part of the man’s money but when it’s the other way around, it doesn’t feel right.”
She glared at him. “Get your self-actualized theories out of my face. I’m not talking about feeling socially awkward about the situation, I’m talking about being pissed that the man I put through grad school, paying every penny of his tuition, turned around and took fifty percent of a business I’d worked my ass off to make successful.”
Dugan grinned. “Sophie, you’re irresistible.”
“Don’t think you can sweet-talk me into not being grumpy about Mark.”
“I would never try.”
“Were you married?”
“Briefly. We were young. The company was just starting. It didn’t work out and neither of us were to blame. We’re still friends.”
“You’re friends with your ex-wife?”
“You don’t talk to Mark?”
“God, no. What’s the point? Marrying him was a mistake.” She shuddered at the thought. “Friends? You’re a freak.”
He chuckled. “If I get the chance, I’ll be sure to introduce you to my ex. You might find her interesting.”
“No, thanks.”
“I’d like to meet Mark.”
“Have at it. He lives in Lubbock where he teaches American history at the community college.”
“So he got his dream.”
“And a very nice settlement. He’s living large.” She held up a hand. “I don’t begrudge him a good life.”
“I know. It’s that he took from you. How many others have done the same?”
She tucked her feet under her. “My college roommate. We were sharing a dorm room when I found tiny CK starving on the side of the road.”
“I know your origin story. Unlike you, I do my research.”
“You’re a better human being. Blah, blah, blah.” But there wasn’t a lot of energy behind the words. For some reason, she wasn’t upset about Dugan’s success or “life balance” anymore. Maybe it was the wine. Maybe it was the realization that they were different people. And if he was just a little bit better than she was, she would have to deal with that on her own.
“Anyway, Fawn helped with the videos at the beginning. But when things started to take off, she wasn’t interested. By the time we graduated, she wasn’t involved at all, but she’d been there at the start, so when we started to go our separate ways, she wanted a piece of the pie.”
She sighed, remembering. “We settled. My lawyer told me going to court was a waste of money—that I would lose. I had to use the last of the money my mom had left me to pay her off. Stupid cow.”
She sniffed. “The roommate, not my mom. My mom was great.” She looked at Dugan. “I was a rebellious teen who wanted her to understand how
grown-up I was.”
She felt her eyes burning. “When she was killed in a car accident, I quickly realized I wasn’t grown-up at all.”
He lowered Mrs. Bennet to the floor, then shifted next to Sophie and pulled her close.
“I’m sorry,” he said, drawing her against him and holding her tight.
“Thanks. It was long time ago, but I still miss her.”
“She would have been so proud of you.”
“I hope so. She always talked about the importance of working hard. I wish she could know I learned that lesson. I wish I could see her one more time.”
Emotions she’d suppressed for years rose unexpectedly, tightening her throat and filling her eyes with tears. She tried to distract herself by focusing on Dugan. He was warm and he smelled good. A little man, a little soap, a little fabric softener.
“Do you do your own laundry or do you have someone come in and do it?” she asked.
He straightened enough to look at her face. “What kind of question is that?”
“I just wondered.”
“I do my own laundry.”
“But you have a cleaning service.”
“Yes. Every week.”
The mundane conversation gave her enough emotional distance to get herself under control.
“You’re such a guy.”
“Because you’ve never had a cleaning service.”
“Of course I have, but that’s different.”
He grinned and pulled her close again. “You amaze me.”
“I know.”
He chuckled. “Oh, Sophie. You’re a mess, but I can’t stop thinking about you. All right, let’s solve one problem today.”
“I don’t have any problems.”
The response was automatic and not the least bit true, but she wasn’t about to take it back.
“People try to take advantage of you,” he said as if she hadn’t spoken. “Let’s work on that one. Figure out how much you want to give to charity every year, then divide it into quarters. That’s your amount. Once it’s gone, you’re done until the next quarter. Preplan some giving to causes you care about.”
Sisters by Choice Page 21
