“Can I get a little more time with you?” he asked.
I laughed. “You can take me to Verizon. I need to finally go get another damn phone and that’s it. I have to get home to my baby.”
Chapter 27
Cashmere
I came back from Verizon with a new phone, some groceries, and a plan: to get my life back on track. I went into the kitchen and started cooking. I was going to do a baked ziti with a salad and even make a homemade strawberry cheesecake for dessert. I put the Italian sausage along with onion and bell peppers in a frying pan to cook and put on the boiling water for the ziti noodles. Dominique would be on her way home and I hoped to have the baked ziti in the oven by the time she got there.
It was crazy that after all these years Caesar and I had reunited! I felt like a teenager all over again being with him. Having sex with him made me feel like I was making love for the first time. The other thing that Caesar did for me was take my mind off of Demarco. I didn’t think any man could do that again but he did. I grabbed my phone out of the box and turned it on. I took a deep breath as I did this. Getting another phone meant that I had to completely go back to my normal life. One thing I also did when I was at Verizon was Caesar’s suggestion: that I put GPS on Dominique’s phone. Yes, some time had passed since she was caught in the strip club and I doubted it was a reoccurring thing for my daughter but better safe than sorry.
Soon my phone started buzzing telling me all the voicemails and texts my phone had picked up in the past few months. I knew I needed to resume my customers at the shop in Inglewood. Now I felt more confident in going back.
As I scrolled through my voicemails, I saw there was a voicemail from Demarco. I gasped. Should I listen to it? I was curious as to what he had to say although he was dead. Suddenly the doorbell rang. I ignored it. I didn’t want whatever the message said to bring me back down. I was making progress. I couldn’t let myself get depressed again. What if I wasn’t strong enough to pull myself back out now? And the message could be merely about our divorce. What did I need to hear that for?
The doorbell rang again. Maybe it was Caesar. I set the phone down. Picked it back up again, took a deep breath, and set the phone down. I went to see who it was. It was a good diversion from listening to the message. I again asked myself as I walked toward the door, would listening to the message drag me back and I lose the progress I made?
I looked into the peephole and saw it was Dame. I hadn’t seen him since the funeral. And of course it felt awkward as I opened the door for him.
“What do you want?” I thought back to the last time I saw this bitch: at Demarco’s funeral. At the wake the bastard had the nerve to proposition me. He watched me the whole time.
When I got up to go into the bathroom I saw him waiting for me outside the door. I rolled my eyes at him and tried to walk away when he grabbed one of my arms stopping me. He said, “How you holding up?”
I looked away. Memories of all the cruel words he called me came back to me. I wished that I hadn’t agreed to let him come but he apologized to me and begged to come lay his friend to rest. So I allowed him to.
“Look I know things were crazy the last time I came over but like I said, I didn’t mean those things. I just had to cover up how I really felt. How I always felt about you.”
“The fuck you talking about?” I demanded.
He chuckled. “You know you got a smart-ass mouth. But I can handle it. Look, Cashmere, I want you to know that I meant everything I said as far as how I feel about you. I always wanted you and you know it was a sticky situation with you belonging to my homeboy and my boss. But he’s out the picture now. Cashmere, I still want you. I can accept you and Dominique. You need a man around here to take care of things and Dominique needs a father.” He wrapped an arm around my waist. “I know you’re upset about Demarco but shit those emotions and feelings will pass.”
“Look, motherfucker, and hear me well. There will never be a day when anything happens between me and you. Are you insane? The day I lay my husband to rest? You are a horrible human and truly a piece of shit. Fuck no. I want no part of you!” I snatched away from him and walked back into the living room.
He followed me, grabbed one of my arms again, and spun me around. “Look. I’m telling you that I am in love with you, Cashmere, and all these years I had to hide that shit from him. Now I don’t have to. Just give me a chance to show you that I can make you forget all about him. Yes, he was my friend but I’d be a liar if I said I’m not relived he passed so I’d have the—”
“Get . . .” I paused, took a deep breath, and looked around quickly, hoping no one heard me. My mother shot up from her seat and slowly crept our way, telling me that she did if anyone else hadn’t. I lowered my voice. “Get the fuck out my house,” I whispered to Dame.
My mother came to stand next to me. “Everything okay, Cash?”
“Yes,” I said still eyeing Dame. “Now leave.”
“You don’t even want—”
“If my daughter told you to leave then that’s what your punk ass needs to do,” my mother whispered through clenched teeth.
“Mom, stop,” I snapped.
He shook his head and turned and walked toward the door.
I just hoped he got the fuck out. I could not believe he had propositioned me at my husband’s funeral.
But in Dame fashion, he couldn’t just get out! He had to talk shit. “You sitting in this motherfucking house acting all high and mighty and you wasn’t a fucking whore, man! You the motherfucking reason why my friend is dead, bitch!”
My mom ran toward the door. “You betta get the fuck out of here before you end up in jail!”
Hank came to stand beside my mother. “You need to leave,” Hank said sharply.
“Fuck all you mothafuckas! Demarco should have left you so he could still have his life, you worthless tramp!”
He slammed out of the house.
Dame’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. “Well can I come in? It’s important. About Dominique.” His eyes were wide and there was urgency in his voice.
Alarmed, I stepped aside and let him come in. “What is it? Is she okay?”
“Sit down.”
I walked over to the couch and Dame sat down next to me. He then pulled out his phone. It was a Galaxy Note and had a huge screen. “I’m logging on to WorldStarHi-phop. com.”
“Okay what’s that? And what does it have to do with Dominique?”
“Shut the fuck up and look!”
He pulled up a video and placed the phone in front of me. “Look at this. Your baby girl.”
My eyes shot to the ceiling when I saw my child ass buck-naked and having sex with random boys on the screen of his phone!
“What the fuck it this?” I exclaimed as angry tears at them violating my daughter flew from my eyes.
“What it is, is your baby girl slutting. I said I didn’t want to be a part of this but shit. It’s quite embarrassing. So as a man, I came to tell you because I care about Dominique. I know she’s not Demarco’s baby but still . . .”
Just then they did some disgusting shit to my baby. I shoved the phone away and started screaming in outrage. I shoved the lamp off my end table in a rage.
Why is she allowing them to do this to her? I asked myself silently. What was wrong with my baby? Was what I was doing that bad? All the years of love I had showed her was not enough to know better than to do some shit like that?
“You need a man around here to keep her in line. That man can easily be me.”
I shook my head and tuned him out as he talked. I had to get this shit off of the Web.
I didn’t know what to do so I knew I needed assistance in dealing with this shit. “Naw, fuck this shit!” I snatched up my phone, exited out of my voicemail, and pressed the middle button for Siri.
“Call Caesar!” I commanded.
When the phone started ringing Caesar picked up on the second ring. “Hey, baby.”
“I need
your help. Please get over here now!” I then tossed my phone back on the couch. I sat with my head between my legs and covered my face with my hands, crying. I tried to block the horrible-ass images that I just saw. But I couldn’t.
“Do you want to see the rest of it?” Dame asked.
I ignored him. My shoulders shook and I cried silently. I grabbed my phone and then called Dominique’s phone. It went to voicemail. I sent her a text telling her to get her ass home.
Chapter 28
Dominique
I stood on my doorstep as I got a text message from my mother demanding that I come home. I wondered what this was about because she hadn’t been this sharp with me since she found out I was at the strip club. Part of me wanted to ignore the text and not even come home but I couldn’t do that. I had to keep cool until I could leave my mother’s house and be done with her forever.
The door was unlocked do I stepped inside and walked from the foyer to the living room. I almost gasped when I saw her and Dame sitting on the couch. Memories of what he had done to me at the strip club the week before came back. I looked away disgusted. I hated his guts more than the man who forced himself on me in Meka’s shower. He was a stranger looking for sex, whereas Dame had pretty much watched me grow up.
He was there when I was snaggletoothed with pigtails. Acting like he really cared about me, like we were blood. And he forced himself on me when I begged him to stop? What kind of man was he? I remembered what he said that day he raped me.
I was lying there crying and he asked, “How much do you usually charge for these niggas to have some of your honey pot?”
I didn’t respond so he yanked me by my ponytail again. “Answer me, you little bitch. Acting just like your mama.”
“One hundred for sex and fifty for head.”
“Well I ain’t paying you shit.” He chuckled. “I’m like family so since we keeping it in the family I get my services for free.” He kicked me in my back roughly. “Understand?”
I nodded through my tears.
“Aye, we gotta do this again. Next time I’ll get us a room with a Jacuzzi, bring a molly and a couple lines of coke so you can really get wild.” He chuckled. “I’ll be back the day after tomorrow and you best be prepared to leave with me. I wouldn’t bother running to your mammy; she won’t believe you if you did, and even if she did believe you her ass won’t care.” He chuckled.
But later, when Meka demanded what took so long and where the money was I told Meka what happened and she said, “Oh hell naw. Y’all was in therefor a minute; that’s money wasted. He wants to fuck for free? You know what your daddy would do to you if he knew you gave up pussy and dome for free? He would disown you. And he would have personally stomped him in the head. You are not fucking with that low-budget nigga again. We can have that nigga banned from the club. Matter fact, I’m gonna tell security to never let that bastard in again. We about making money and if you ain’t got no money you ain’t making sense and if you got no money, then your ass don’t belong in here!”
“But what if he tells my mom?”
“Nigga implicates himself if he tells.”
“He said my mom won’t believe me.”
“Girl, if he snitches on you then you snitch on him bottom line ’cause what you got to lose at that point?”
“Okay.” But I still was worried.
Meka saw it. “But he ain’t so let it go.”
So the next time he came back to the club he was not allowed inside.
“Hey, Dominique,” he said snapping my out my thoughts.
I didn’t respond. I knew my mother was confused as to why I didn’t hug or kiss Dame but I didn’t care. “Hi, Mom.”
She reacted quickly, jumped up, and roughly grabbed me by one of my arms. “Sit the fuck down.” She flung me on the couch. “And tell me why in the fuck you are on a goddamn video having sex with some nothing-ass niggas who are obviously gay to be naked in a room full of other niggas!” she screamed at the top of her lungs as tears continued to still slide out of her eyes.
I gasped and looked at my uncle. It was unclear what video she was talking about. But one thing was clear. He was trying to get me in trouble. But I wondered if he told that he had forced himself on me.
“Dame. Show her the video.”
He aimed his phone in my face. I refused to look and kept my head down and my eyes closed. My mother gripped my face in her hands and said, “Open your motherfucking eyes, Dom!”
I did and saw myself performing the day I went to those college guys’ house. But I really wasn’t focusing on this because all I saw was red.
“I seen how you get down.”
I guessed when he said that he wasn’t just talking about Starz.
“Dominique, I’m really concerned about you. What you are doing is not healthy.”
Was he serious after the way he had treated me?
“Fuck you, Dame!” I fired. My mom had never ever heard me curse before so I knew she was shocked.
“Shut the fuck up!” my mom said.
“What you did on this tape is disgusting,” Dame said not touched by me yelling at him.
I lost it. I didn’t care. Since the truth was out let all the truth be out. “Tell her what you did to me too since you want to tell the truth.”
“Now, Dominique, it’s not nice to make accusations.”
“Did you seriously think I would keep your secret since you trying to get me in trouble with my mom?”
My mother paused and looked at Dame suspiciously and then back at me. “What are you talking about? Dom, spit the shit out ’cause I’m pissed and—”
“Dame raped me, Mama. That’s what!”
My mother released my face and slowly stood to her feet.
“Shut the fuck up, lying little girl,” Dame fired looking nervous. He couldn’t hide his nervousness.
“I’m not. I’m not lying about anything.” I turned to my mama. “Mom, that’s me on the video. That was me in the strip club and that was me that Uncle Dame raped. I swear on one hundred Bibles that he forced me to go down on him and he forced me to sleep with him. Take me to the doctor, Mom! Get me examined and you’ll find his semen in me because he didn’t wear a condom! He didn’t want to.”
The look on my mother’s face told me that she believed what was coming out of my mouth. I wanted to tell my mom that Meka was my witness but I didn’t want to expose her. But by the looks of my mother I didn’t think I needed to. I didn’t need a witness.
There was a beeping sound coming from the kitchen. I knew it was the timer of the stove. My mom must have been baking something.
“I don’t believe you, Dom. Hold on; let me turn off this oven.” My mom walked into the kitchen.
Dame looked satisfied that my mother busted me out. He stood near the door and said, “Told you.”
My eyes burned into Dame’s. I hated Dame. I 100 percent hated him. There was no fifty-fifty, no eighty-twenty, no nothing. “I hope you die,” I snarled. I had never said that before but I meant it.
He matched my look. “You little bitch. I’ll have you and your mammy right now if I want. You both are sluts. Like mother like—”
My mom came back into the living room with a butcher’s knife in her hand. Without a moment’s hesitation she rushed up to Dame and tried to slam that knife into his chest. She looked possessed like in that old horror movie Carrie after they poured the pig blood on her.
He backed up and said, “Bitch, are you crazy?” They battled over the knife. “Bitch, let the knife go!” He tried to take it from my mother but she wouldn’t let it go. She struggled against him. Dame pulled the knife out of her hand.
“You must be a dumb motherfucka if you think I’m going to believe a sorry-ass nigga like you over my child! I don’t care how many niggas she sleeps with I’ll always believe her over you.”
My mother threw the lamp on the end table at him. It missed him. My eyes grew wide as she pulled another knife out of her pocket and went after
Dame again. He ran around the living room to avoid getting stabbed by my mother because I knew that was her intent! Her eyes were now dead, wasn’t no life in them.
Then like a new thought just came to her she said, “Matter fact. Dom! Get one of your daddy’s gun! I’m gonna kill this motherfucker right now.”
With wide eyes I shook my head. I didn’t want to do that and the perfect stop to this was the doorbell. I ran to it and opened it, instantly recognizing the officer who had taken me to my mother that night at the strip club. I heard a scuffle and turned around to see Dame now on top of my mother.
“You bitch-ass nigga, you better kill me now, motherfucker, ’cause if you don’t I’m going to kill you.”
Caesar pushed me aside and stepped in the living room with his gun drawn. Dame was on top of my mother and straddling her with his hand over my mother’s, the one that held the knife.
“Drop the knife!” Caesar commanded with his gun pointed at Dame.
“I’m trying to stop this crazy bitch from stabbing me.”
“Drop the fucking knife!”
Dame snatched the knife from my mother and tossed it.
“Now slowly rise to your feet with your hands up.”
“Man, this bitch tried to attack me and you treating me like I’m the criminal?”
“Just do it!”
Dame huffed out an impatient breath, and rose to his feet as instructed, with his hands up. My mother stood to her feet and started attacking Dame with balled fists. “You fucking piece of shit!”
“Fuck you, bitch. You and your daughter are tramps. Your daughter giving up the ass at the fucking Barbary Coast. She is the ho of the club. Yes, you did well for yourself. You raised a slut.”
I watched my mother’s horrified face as she watched me, her attack on pause.
“Hey, man. Watch your mouth,” Caesar warned.
“Fuck you. You ain’t shit without that shit and badge, my nigga. None of your fucking buddies here. Nothing.” Dame got in his face and sized Caesar up. Caesar was silent as Dame remained in his face.
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