by A. Aubry
“I’m sorry…”
Ashton laughed from the doorway, “Even without a voice she can scold him.”
She turned her narrowed gaze over to Ashton then looked back at me. Her hand went to my chest and quickly moved to hers, a symbol of protection. Whenever she wanted to feel safe since Michael’s attack, she would put her hand over my heart so that she knew I was really there. She signed the letters of I, L, Y, something she had done since we had started to teach Leo some sign language. Julianna then took my hand and put it over her own heart as her hand touched her baby bump. She wanted to let me know that she was safe, that I saved her and our daughter when I came into the room.
“What is she telling you?” Amelia questioned.
I quickly looked around the room as everyone stared at us. This is awkward.
“She told me that I protected her, she loves me, and that I saved her life and the life of our daughter,” I smiled back at Julianna who put her finger to her nose and smiled.
“Coop, you need to learn sign language because that’s damn adorable,” I heard Amelia as I watched Julianna.
“She only signed one thing!” Cooper whined loudly.
“Well then, you need to work on your silent communication with me,” Amelia demanded.
He had his work cut out for him. This type of communication was something that Julianna and I just found amongst ourselves. It was something that just sort of happened and I thought it was completely normal in a relationship like ours. Julianna giggled quietly and it made my heart skip a beat. I brushed my lips against hers before I looked back into those beautiful blue eyes that always sucked me in. Her hand came up and indicated the area of her neck.
“Hopefully it won’t bruise, it’s just a red print right now,” I whispered to her.
Just as I had done when she was in the hospital after her attack from Michael, I kissed her neck, my lips tracing the print that was left behind. I could hear the breath hitch in Julianna’s throat as my lips touched her skin.
“Who wants to get drunk?” Cooper announced to the group.
I stood up and raised my hand. When I began to go around and pick up a beer, Julianna grabbed onto my shirt and held onto me until I looked at her. She signed ‘I love you’ to me and I remembered I hadn’t said it back before because Amelia interrupted.
“I love you more, my beautiful wife,” I grinned and pressed my lips against hers, willing the pain that she had experienced to go away.
“Seriously, Coop. Work on that shit,” Amelia said as she walked into the living room.
I chuckled and eased Julianna off of the countertop. Getting a beer, I led her into the living room and laid back on the chaise recliner. I offered Julianna a hand and she easily took her place between my legs and leaned against me. As the night progressed, the more drinks were had. Luckily Violet and Amelia didn’t drink so they were able to drive the three drunks back to their hotel after their babies were in their car seats and Sofie was asleep in the backseat of Amelia’s rental car. When everyone was gone, I drunkenly led Julianna up to bed. I thought I was going to get some action but she shook her head and smiled as she pushed me down into the bed and undressed me. My eyes could barely stay open the second after my head hit the pillow.
When I woke up in the middle of the night, I felt much better than I deserved. I looked down at Julianna who slept soundly next to me. The red hand print on her neck was already starting to fade away, but I couldn’t help but think that if I didn’t bring that asshole of a supposed father into this house, this wouldn’t have happened. Would Julianna ever forgive me for this happening to her?
Leo’s quiet cries came through the baby monitor and I carefully climbed out of bed. Julianna had been through a lot tonight and she deserved to sleep. Opening the door to Leo’s nursery, I saw him standing up in his crib, holding onto the side. I walked over to him and picked him up, kissing his forehead.
“It’s okay big guy, daddy’s got you,” I cooed softly to him.
After checking to make sure he didn’t need to be changed, I took a seat in the large plush glider we had gotten for the nursery and held Leo in my arms. He looked up at me, his eyes still glossy from his tears.
“Did you have a bad dream, buddy?” I whispered.
Using my thumb, I wiped away the trails his tears had left and planted another kiss on his forehead. Leo watched me as I rocked him slowly.
“I can’t sleep either…mommy got hurt tonight and it scared me so much,” I sighed as I recalled the events of the evening.
“I’m sorry I brought that man into our lives, Leo. I just thought that my father finally saw the potential that I had, and he wanted to be a part of my life. He only saw me for my money, as his meal ticket out of debt.”
I would never look at my son that way no matter what. My son was my life, hell, my unborn daughter was my life as well. Leo and my daughter deserved all the love and respect in the world, something my father never gave to me.
Leo grabbed onto my finger and it was something I could never see myself getting sick of, “I will never do that to you, Leo. I will never leave you, your mother, or your baby sister. I won’t leave any siblings that we give you. My life will be dedicated to protecting you and the rest of our family. One day, I will tell you all the stories about my life. How soccer helped me out of a slump after my mother and her ex-husband got divorced, how your mother changed the way I saw the world, how you brought such a light into my life that I thought only your mother could bring. But for now, I will just keep you safe because I love you.”
Leo’s mouth turned into a wide ‘O’ as he yawned.
“Okay, let’s get you back into bed,” I smiled as I stood up from the glider and laid Leo down in his crib.
“Goodnight, Leo. I love you,” I whispered and watched his eyes close before leaving the nursery.
When I climbed back into bed, Julianna was still asleep. I got as close as I could behind her and laid my arm around her as I placed a soft kiss on her shoulder. As I got settled, I felt Julianna’s hand place itself on mine and I smiled at the instinctive way her body responded to mine, even when she was asleep.
“Finn?” Julianna’s voice called out softly, cracking slightly at the end.
Wait…I wasn’t just hearing things, was I? I leaned up on my forearm and rolled Julianna so that she was on her back, her eyes looking up at me.
“Is your voice back? Am I dreaming? Say my name again.”
She smiled shyly, “Finn…”
Holy shit. I couldn’t contain myself as I kissed her over and over. There had never been a sound I was happier to hear than Julianna’s voice. She giggled as she tried to turn away from my kiss and even that sound was back to normal.
“Stop,” Julianna ordered softly.
I obeyed her command and gazed down at my wife. Even when she was telling me to stop, I loved the sound of her voice.
“I’m sorry, I just missed hearing your voice.”
Her cheeks blushed as her smile widened, “I love you.”
“Oh, Julianna. I love you so much,” I took her into my arms and refused to loosen my grip.
Her soft hands rested on my face as her eyes met mine, “You saved me.”
Of course I saved her. That was the one promise I had made her that I swore I would never ever break.
“Don’t you know by now that I will always save you?”
“I never thought you’d actually have to do it.”
Me neither, baby, me neither.
“I’m sorry for letting him into our lives, I should have known better.”
She gave me a small smile, “There’s still a part of you that is that hurt, abandoned two-year-old boy. I understand why you did it, and I still love you more than anything in this world.”
It amazed me how much Julianna understood exactly how I felt about things without me even having to say them. Sure, we had our silent communication, but sometimes what we had was just plain spooky.
“Now, can we go
back to bed? I had a bad dream and I need you to hold me,” Julianna admitted softly as she let go of me.
“Of course, let me protect you,” I gave her forehead a quick kiss.
Julianna rolled onto her side facing away from me and I pulled her close against me. My arm wrapped tight around her as I kissed her shoulder again. She closed her eyes and let out a content sigh as she quickly drifted back off to sleep. When her breathing slowed down to tell me she was officially asleep, I carefully moved my hand to her belly.
“I love you, Julianna. You are my world,” I whispered before allowing myself to fall asleep.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“She’s in distress, prep OR 1!” Dr. Sanchez announced to the room.
Julianna had been in labor for most of the day and I knew something wasn’t right the last time Dr. Sanchez checked her and said that her labor had stopped progressing. Now my daughter and my wife were in distress.
“Finn? What does she mean? What’s going on?” Julianna looked up at me, her eyes filled with panic as she tried not to hyperventilate.
I didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t put her into a panic attack more than she already was. I ran my fingers through her hair and her eyes closed for a second, taking in my calming gesture. When they opened again, I could see she was a little calmer.
“Breathe, baby. Everything is going to be okay, something is going on with the baby, but Dr. Sanchez is going to take care of it,” I said to her as calmly as I could.
“Don’t leave me,” she cried as she grabbed onto my hand.
“I’ll be right there with you every step of the way, I promise.”
“Mr. McAllister, we need to get her down to the OR,” a nurse from the other side of the bed stated as the bed slowly glided away from the wall.
I jogged next to Julianna’s bed as it rolled down the hallway quickly. We were just about to go through the doors when someone pulled me back.
“Sir, you can’t go through there,” the male nurse who stopped me said.
“Finn!” Julianna yelled out, looking at me.
“I’m coming, Julianna! I’ll be right beside you before you know it!” I called back.
I looked at the nurse, “I need to get to my wife.”
He nodded and directed me into a surgical room and handed me a pair of scrubs. I changed even faster than I did for games and put a blue hair net over my hair. The nurse directed me toward a door and a doctor I hadn’t seen before was talking to Julianna who was obviously panicking even more than usual.
I came through the swinging door just in time to hear what Julianna was saying, “Where’s Finn?”
“I’m right here, baby,” I came over to her side and I could see her breathe a sigh of relief.
A stool sat next to her and I sat down on it, pressing a kiss into her hair. Julianna’s tears fell freely and I knew I had to try to make her laugh somehow.
“I told you I would be here; did you think I wouldn’t fight ‘til the death to get next to you?” I smiled, trying to show her I was joking.
She sniffled through her tears, “No because that means you’d be dead if you lost and I don’t like that idea.”
Well that was a terrible joke on my part.
I laughed quietly and cleared her tears from her cheeks, “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
“Okay everybody, let’s deliver a baby,” Dr. Sanchez finally said.
Julianna looked up at me as soft murmurs came from the other side of the curtain that blocked us off from what was happening, “Are you mad?”
What was she talking about?
“What would I be mad about, baby?”
“You can’t go to Los Angeles with the team…”
Seriously? That’s what she was thinking about at this exact point in time? I was supposed to be on a plane to Los Angeles for an away game this weekend but Julianna’s water broke as I was getting everything piled into my car. I thought that our daughter would’ve waited until I got back or stayed in her mom’s stomach well after her due date like her brother did, but our little girl had other plans. She wanted to be her own person.
I kissed her lips gently, “Julianna, I’m not mad. I get to be here with you…there is nothing to be mad about.”
She nodded slightly and winced a little. I ran my fingers through her hair as I told her how great she was doing during all of this. She was the strongest woman I’d ever met. Even when she was nine months pregnant, she was chasing after Leo and being the best wife a guy could ask for. No matter how many times I asked her if she wanted me to make dinner, she would scold me and say that I had a long day at work and that I should relax.
Then she’d force me into the living room where I would then be spending the duration of my time before dinner playing with Leo and his toys. He loved his little matchbox cars, and we would see how far we could make them roll before he would squeal and run after them.
“Your baby girl is out, McAllisters,” Dr. Sanchez said.
Soon our little girl was crying and my whole world spun on its head. I was a father of two. I had a little girl.
“She’s here,” I grinned and kissed the side of Julianna’s head.
A nurse appeared around the curtain, our daughter wrapped up in a blanket in her arms. I stood up and carefully took her from the nurse before sitting back down beside Julianna. Bringing her up to Julianna, she gave her a soft kiss against her head. My two beautiful girls, finally I could look at the both of them.
“Mr. McAllister, we are going to have to have you wait in the recovery room so that we can finish up here,” Dr. Sanchez quietly stated.
This was something I wasn’t expecting. Julianna looked at me, complete panic taking over her features once again. I leaned down and kissed her lips gently.
“Baby, you’ll be okay. I will be right there waiting for you the second you get rolled back into the room. I love you.”
“I love you more,” she said quietly.
“You win,” I smiled and followed the nurse out to the recovery room.
I sat down in the oversized chair that sat in the recovery room and looked down at my daughter who rested in my arms. She looked like a great mix of Julianna and myself but I could pick out more of Julianna in her, but Julianna would say the opposite. Our daughter, Liliana Isabelle McAllister was born on June 6th. I honestly thought she was going to be born earlier because the Braxton-Hicks contractions with Lily were far worse for Julianna a week ago than they were with Leo.
Julianna was rolled into the room, fast asleep and the nurse reassured me that it was totally normal. Since she was asleep, I spent some more time taking in the sight of my beautiful baby girl. I didn’t have the heart to wake up Julianna, it had been a long day of labor and delivery for her…she needed her rest. Liliana’s eyes opened for a moment and she let out a quiet grunt as she readjusted in my arms.
“You are so beautiful, Lily,” I whispered and kissed her forehead.
“What happened?” Julianna asked from her bed.
I looked up at her and grinned, “You fell asleep when you were being sutured up. It had been a long day for you, I figured I’d let you sleep. Do you want to hold your daughter?”
Her face lit up as she held out her hands, “Gimme, gimme, gimme.”
I laughed and shook my head. Getting up from my chair, I took Lily to her mother and handed her over. It was only fair because I’d spent a lot of time with her one on one. Julianna watched Lily as she slept in her arms.
“She’s perfect,” Julianna grinned as she looked up at me.
“Just like you,” I smiled, giving her a tender kiss.
“Think you’re going to want more of these adorable little things?” Julianna giggled.
“When the time is right, I’d love to have more.”
And that was the truth. Maybe not in the next nine months, but definitely in the future.
“Me too.”
I watched as Julianna gazed back down at our daughter. There had been so m
any moments of my life that I thought were the best. Most of those moments were in regard to my soccer career. But ever since I met Julianna, the top three had been replaced by her and my family.
“Mom, I really wish I could talk about this more, but I have been sitting in my garage for ten minutes talking to you about when you can come up and see Lily. Julianna is probably needing my help.”
I seriously had been sitting in the garage for what felt like a million years because my mom wouldn’t stop throwing dates at me. My calendar wasn’t exactly right in front of me and I was back to work for games. After already using up my couple days of paternity leave back when Liliana was born, I couldn’t exactly take off more time for my family to come up to meet our newest addition. We were smack dab in the middle of our season after all. They had FaceTimed with us and we had sent them a multitude of pictures, but right now just wasn’t a good time to plan visits if they wanted me around.
“Okay, sweetheart. I will call you later.”
I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, okay. I love you, bye.”
We hung up and I got out of the car. With my gym back slung over my shoulder, I stepped into the kitchen just in time to see Leo running in with Lily’s pacifier in his hand as he giggled.
“Jules, I’m home.”
“Help! I’ve got a kid on the loose!” She called out from the living room.
It was feeding time for Liliana. That was probably why she wasn’t chasing after our son.
“Get over here,” I chuckled and picked up Leo who squealed loudly.
I brought Leo back into the living room, “Does he look something like this?”
Julianna playfully narrowed her eyes, “That looks like my sweet boy, but he sure isn’t being very sweet by stealing his sister’s pacifier.”
The early terrible twos strike again.
“Leo, tell mommy you’re sorry,” I told him as I kissed his cheek.
“Sowwee.”
I put Leo down next to Julianna, “Give mommy kisses. Daddy is going to make you dinner.”
Leo gave his mother a loud dramatic kiss and I couldn’t help but laugh.
