Someone advising me on my career.
I’d never had that.
I had memories of Mum encouraging my hobbies and studies, but once she’d gone the only thing left was Dad’s negativity and Anabelle doing her best but ending up pandering to his opinions.
I’d wanted to join to a meditation club, once, as a teenager, held at the local Buddhist centre. We’d had a talk about it at school. It sounded great for dealing with exam anxiety and a couple of my friends were going. One parent offered to take me each week. Anabelle was all for it and said she’d bring me and my friend back. My stepmum’s favourite Instagram celebrities all practised it. But Dad immediately dismissed the idea. Said too much thinking was a bad thing – that people who gazed at their navels also couldn’t see passed the end of their noses when it came to dealing with the real world. That life was stressful and I just needed to get on with it – like he’d had to. Anabelle tried to change his mind and mentioned the famous people who did it. He’d laughed in her face and she’d visibly shrunk into her cashmere jumper. I didn’t mention it again.
‘I was seventy-nine last month,’ Margot continued, ‘so I reckon it’s time for a change and a new challenge – and Seagrass Island needs to change too. That’s why I gave the go-ahead for Rick’s conservation idea as I approached another decade. However…’ She went to say something then closed her mouth. ‘I’m sure you’ve got things to do, Sarah. Lovely talking to you. I’ll catch my grandson tomorrow.’
The lines between her brows looked more due to stress than age.
‘Goodbye, dear.’ She went to stand up. ‘It’s a shame no one can magic up a way of solving my family’s problems. I like to think I’m a good judge of character and you’re an intelligent young woman. You haven’t got an answer, have you?’ There was a sad edge to her jokey tone as she got to her feet. ‘Nice chatting to…’ Her leant forward to the screen. Sat down. Peered at me. ‘That look that just crossed your face.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Can you see a way to make the island thrive?’
‘No.’ I forced a laugh. ‘I don’t know anything about conservation.’
‘But you booked this stay on Seagrass Island.’
‘Not really, you see my sister won—’
‘Please. Don’t hold back. If you’ve had the slightest spark of inspiration, I’d be so appreciative to hear it.’
‘I just think the conservation project will falter if you don’t somehow open it up to tourism as well. But then what do I know?’ I added brightly.
Sharing my idea with Margot – wouldn’t that be going behind Rick’s back? He’d already quashed it and yet… I so desperately wanted to help. And I hadn’t been given time to explain the detail to him. Perhaps I could tell his gran and then they could discuss it together. Maybe he’d listen to her.
My hands felt clammy as she adjusted her leopard print glasses.
‘Carry on.’
‘That’s it, really.’ I didn’t know what to do for the best.
‘Anything, Sarah. Really. Your tourism comment – you might be onto something.’
She looked so desperate. I took a deep breath. ‘I work in a budget hotel but I want to make a step into the luxury side of hospitality. I’ve been researching that area of the industry for months.’
‘I’ve been lucky enough to stay at some fantastic hotels over the years. My husband and I especially loved Ocean Allure in the South of France – a pink turreted villa surrounded by magnolia and lemon trees with a pool cut into rock, marbled floors and soundproofed walls.’
‘Well, I’ve had an idea – about how your family could bring in more income,’ I said, feeling awkward. ‘I imagine it’s a delicate subject but Rick did tell me a little about how—’
She held up her hand. ‘You and I can speak as businessperson to businessperson, no?’
‘Of course.’ I sat a little taller. It felt good to be taken seriously – to be treated as an equal by such a successful entrepreneur as her.
‘Then don’t feel embarrassed – Crocker & Crowley is in trouble. Please. Share your thoughts. And thank you for spending your time on this.’
‘The house and beach huts – your home is gorgeous. With the pool. Exotic surroundings. The table outside. Plus the cinema room. The gym. And piano.’
Talking of which, the music had stopped playing. Instead I heard laughter. Were Jonas and Benedikt drinking the beer? Were they getting closer?
‘Yes. Family love staying there. We invite my sister’s brood. My husband’s relatives. My precious Caribbean paradise has nursed people through broken hearts, divorce and bereavements. Throughout the summer guests come and go. Evenings are the best, with fairy lights outside, rum cocktails flowing and card games under the stars. The youngsters enjoy a midnight swim. Malik sometimes mans the bar if we’re having a party – I’ve made several friends in Tortola over the years.’
‘How about… just until the shoe business gets back on its feet, or at least consolidates its position – Rick mentioned you’d decided to focus on trading from just four stores…’
She nodded.
I leant forward. What harm could it really do? With building enthusiasm, I told her all about my luxury hotel plan.
Margot didn’t speak for a few moments. My pulse raced and I braced myself for rejection. A strained look contorted her friendly features and she took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes before slipping them back on.
‘I’d completely understand if you didn’t want to lose your privacy here,’ I said. ‘It’s a real bolt hole from the strains of city life. And Rick’s not keen. He’s worried any tourists would impact on the island’s nature.’
‘But we have to be practical. And the build is almost complete…’
‘You could trial the idea. If it didn’t work out well, nothing lost. But if did… who knows about the future? You might build a few more beach huts. A venture like this could be good for the shoe company and Seagrass Conservation.’
‘Yes… I can see that. Yet we are almost into the middle of July…’
For a moment I hardly listened. I swallowed. Stared at the screen.
Someone like Margot liked my idea?
‘If I worked flat out this week, I could get a website up and running,’ I gushed. ‘You could offer a discounted rate to start – for guinea pig customers. You’ve got all the bedding. The beach huts are fully furnished. They have internet connection. Initial costs wouldn’t be huge. Rick said the kitchen is almost finished.’
‘But he’s busy with his wildlife work. Lee and his parents are needed here in England. I’m not due to visit until September. I could fly over earlier but these days I’m not completely confident I could manage all of—’
I took a deep breath. ‘Let me help. I’ll set it up. I’ve been itching to change direction for so long now. I’d be thrilled to be part of something like this… for the next three weeks until I go home, that is…’
‘I couldn’t ask you to…’
‘Of course you could. Seriously. And I wouldn’t need paying. If it got me out of cleaning the compost toilets, that’s worth more than any fee.’
Margot smiled briefly.
‘There is something special about Seagrass Island. It inspires such passion in Rick. If there’s any way I can help boost his conservation project and protect the island’s ecosystem… if there’s any way I can help such a well-respected brand as Crocker & Crowley, well… I’m totally up for it.’
‘How would we advertise?’
‘I’ve already subscribed to a load of holiday magazines and websites for the research I’ve been doing, back home. I know exactly where to place ads. The ones online could go up quickly. It would all be a little haphazard for the rest of this season, but if things went reasonably well, you’d have the winter months to really pull the plan together.’
‘Okay. Let me think about it. I can’t get my head around the idea of strangers living there.’
‘The conservation volunteers are alread
y here. What’s the difference? And… forgive me for saying this but—’
‘Go on. Remember. This is business. I won’t take it personally.’
A sense of worth infused my body. I used to enjoy that sensation when Amy was little and I could solve her problems.
‘What choice have you got?’ I said, firmly. ‘You can’t be precious about this. It’s not as if Seagrass Island is your main home. Sometimes we all have to make decisions that are difficult in the short term but necessary for a shinier future.’
Life had taught me the right decisions often didn’t bow to sentimentality.
‘Have you set out this idea in writing?’ she asked.
I nodded. Yes. It was in my nature. I’d already drawn up a plan on paper whilst brainstorming.
‘Could you email it to Lee? Then he, myself and Rick can discuss it.’
Lee? Oh crap. What was Rick going to think about that?
‘Of course, I mean, if you really think…’
She gave me the address and at her request I sent the file over straightaway.
‘Thank you. Thank you. Thank you,’ she said. ‘This solution has great potential. Lately the family has suffered such difficult times… but I sense you know all about those, from personal experience.’
‘Things… haven’t been easy since my mum died.
‘Has it been long?’
‘I was eleven. Had just started high school. Amy, my younger sister, was seven.’
She gave an understanding nod.
‘I soon realised I had to leave home as soon as I could and work towards providing a solid base for Amy. I was only eighteen. It meant leaving her behind, along with the precious memories of Mum in the house I grew up in.’
‘It sounds as if you were very, very brave.’
My eyes pricked.
‘Maybe I was brave – and that’s what you need to be here.’
‘Sarah!’
Rick. He was calling my name.
‘Please excuse me for a minute – I think your grandson is back.’
I went outside and climbed down the steps. Rick stood by the pool – with Carlotta. She gave me a warm smile before placing her hand on Rick’s arm and whispered something in his ear. He laughed.
A prick of something unpleasant pierced my chest. The whole scene reminded me of Dad and the way he’d been with other women. How that had made me determined never, ever again to seek approval from a man like him.
‘Rick – your gran was still on your laptop when I found it. I’ve been chatting to her. She’s waiting for you now.’
‘That must have been quite a conversation, lasting this long,’ he said and turned to Carlotta. ‘How about we catch up tomorrow?’ He winked at her.
Hadn’t he said I was the only volunteer ever to make him feel anything? Yet I shouldn’t assume. Rick probably had good reason for the flirtatious tone of his words.
Carlotta looked as if she were about to swoon. Humming, she disappeared into the house. Rick’s phone pinged, he clicked on a notification. For some reason his face turned ugly and red. I hoped another animal wasn’t ill. I waved goodbye to him and caught up with Carlotta. Benedikt and Jonas weren’t to be seen. I looked at my watch. It was time to get back for dinner.
‘Isn’t Rick delectable?’ said Carlotta. I thought how much more attractive her Italian accent must sound to Rick than my plain London tones. ‘Fancy a jog back to camp?’ she said and stretched.
‘No thanks. It’s too hot for me. I’ll just walk.’ She left the building and started running. No wonder she looked so lithe.
A loud, irritated voice caught my attention. I returned to the pool. Outside the beach hut, laptop closed and under his arm, Rick paced up and down.
26
‘You’ve told Gran about your idea? And worse… gone behind my back and shared the idea with my brother? I just got an email from him enthusing about your plan. I told you… it’s a non-starter.’ Beads of perspiration glistened on his forehead. ‘Gran’s phone rang, so she had to go, but she wants to speak about it later.’
‘Rick… don’t be silly… I haven’t deceived you! Margot sensed that I had an idea and—’
He snorted. ‘Sensed? You mean you took the opportunity to bombard her with your plans.’
‘It wasn’t like that. But you hadn’t had time to hear the detail and she seemed desperate for a rescue plan. I’m so keen to help. I didn’t see the harm. She asked me to email Lee. I thought three heads might be better than one.’
‘You didn’t trust my view?’
‘I’m just trying to—’
‘You’ve only been here five minutes! Whereas I’ve spent a couple of years thinking through the conservation venture. My gran and Lee know hardly anything about the work I do and how it needs time to grow. I just need another year to—’
‘If I understand rightly, Margot doesn’t feel you’ve got that long,’ I said, quietly.
He flinched. ‘But a hotel? Here? Guests who think nothing of throwing away drinks cans and disturbing turtle nests?’
‘Guests who pay. Guests you could carefully select. It’s all about advertising in the right places.’
Rick wiped his forehead with his arm. ‘You aren’t a conservationist – nor are Gran or Lee – so I wouldn’t expect any of you to know all the risks from tourism, but the implications could be horrific. Small birds and reptiles might crawl into discarded plastic containers and glass jars, looking for food and getting stuck. The litter they might try to eat could be toxic and—’
‘Just think about it for a second, Rick… there would be hardly any set-up costs. We aren’t talking hundreds of guests. Ten at a time at the most.’
‘And if it takes off the idea might expand. It will give my brother the perfect opportunity to try and take over. He’d bring the conservation work to an end. I can see it now – the shacks would be converted to more tourist accommodation. The animal enclosures into some kind of freak show. Lighting would go up. Parties held. The turtles wouldn’t feel able to nest on our island. Birds would keep away from the noise. Litter would destroy wildlife and the careful balance needed to maintain their environment. He’d try to turn Chatty into some kind of entertainment.’
‘Stop. You’re not thinking straight. You’re blowing this out of all proportion. There’s no reason why—’
‘You work in a hotel, Sarah. You didn’t even want to stay at first. I don’t think you’re qualified to decide what is best for Seagrass Island.’
‘This isn’t just about your project though. It’s about saving Crocker & Crowley. All I wanted to do was—’
‘Avoid camp duties? A project like this would neatly fill your remaining three weeks, away from the dirt and heat and manual work, whilst filling my grandmother with false hope. She mentioned briefly how you’d offered to work on it full-time until you went home.’ He sighed. ‘I get it. Honestly, I do. You were tricked into coming here. If I was you, Sarah, I’d want to find a way out of all the physical work too, but…’
My hands locked into fists. ‘You really think that’s my motivation? That I’m only thinking about myself?’
Suddenly he looked even older than his gran. ‘Why should you care about us?’
‘You’re right,’ I said. ‘Why indeed?’ I strode through the house before marching out of the front door and out the other side.
Getting close to a man like Rick was always going to end badly.
It stopped right now.
What with Carlotta all over him.
The way women looked at him wherever he went, be that an airport or dance bar.
His laughing, teasing manner.
I sat down under a powder puff tree.
Oh Gary, yes, you’re right, that’s so funny.
Aren’t you lucky to have Gary as your dad?
Isn’t your dad handsome?
Oh Gary, you’re such a tease – I know you didn’t mean that insult.
Sorry Gary, I should have known better.
Y
ou’re right, I can see now, it is my fault.
Whatever makes you happy, Gary – that’s all I want.
I’d observed my dad’s manipulation over the years. These days they called it gaslighting. Like a slow-working poison, he was toxic. Women never realised this until it was too late and they were totally hooked.
I couldn’t help it, a passionate attraction made me vulnerable – made me feel as if I’d be opening myself to hurt.
I felt that right now: the pinch in my chest. It made me want to run back. To throw my arms around his neck and kiss the disagreement away. To apologise for getting involved.
That’s why everything about strong sexual passion was so completely wrong.
It skewed reality.
I only had to look at him to find myself swept into a heady fantasy land.
I had only been trying to help. If anything, he owed me an apology. I shouldn’t feel to blame.
This is what Dad did. He’d cause an argument but, somehow, it was always Mum who ended up saying sorry.
It always had to be about him. It was the same with Anabelle. I found no comfort in that. It would have been good if Mum’s death made him reassess the way he treated women. But it didn’t. He’d still flirt with the female neighbours – just like today when Rick had flirted with Carlotta.
Dad wasn’t dark, like Rick, but had thick blond hair, wide shoulders and a strong face. He was tall. Clothes hung off him as if he were a model. Grey streaks made him look distinguished. As I got older, I noticed how women’s eyes were drawn to him as he entered a room. How he relished the attention and used it to get what he wanted.
When I was younger, I’d sit on the stairs listening to dinner parties he’d persuaded Mum to hold. Even at that young age it struck me that I often heard him laughing and chatting with the female guests. Not with Mum. And any compliment would be directed at a stranger’s dress or hairstyle – not hers.
Seeing Mum’s love for my father, how she’d kiss him however mean he was, and then the same behaviour from Anabelle who often told him how lucky she was to be with a sought-after man like him, that gratitude – it frightened me. I didn’t want to end up with someone like him.
The Summer Island Swap Page 18
