I yanked Amy to her feet. Heart racing, I pulled the rucksack onto my back. Amy hurried through the rainforest. I ran to keep up. The ground had become muddy and I lost my balance. I tried my best to right myself. My back ricked. Lightning cracked as I slipped and tumbled to the ground.
Pain shot across my forehead as it hit a tree root.
36
Despite the throbbing pain, I managed to open my eyes. Footsteps pounded above the rain and Amy appeared. She knelt by my side.
‘You’re bleeding,’ she said loudly, above the storm. Her voice wavered. ‘You’re all right, aren’t you?’
I wiped my hand across the wound and flinched. As I sat up, I looked at my fingers, smeared with red.
‘I’m okay.’
‘What?’
‘I’m okay,’ I said louder, even though it hurt my head. ‘Just give me a minute.’ My teeth chattered uncontrollably. Another clap of thunder made us both jump. It had been a strain to walk against the force of the wind but we had to get back to the camp and proper shelter. Aside from the raging weather, everything else in the forest was quiet. There was no bird call. No chirp of insects. And the fragrance of flowers had disappeared. All I could smell was damp bark and woody soil.
‘We need to get away from these tall trees,’ I said. ‘They could be blown down on top of us.’
Amy shook her head. ‘Near those tall trees is exactly where we should stay. They will attract lightning first. If we stand in an open space, we’ll be the target. For the same reason we need to avoid the top of the hill. In retrospect I think we’re just going to have to crouch down until…’
‘Until help comes or the storm passes,’ I said firmly.
‘Exactly.’ An unspoken understanding ignited between us. We would get through this. Amy took my arm and we sat at the base of a nearby sugar apple tree. Rain stung my face.
Unpleasant questions popped into my head. What if this weather actually did turn extreme? We should be inside a building or underground.
What if I never had the chance to say sorry to Rick for lying about my job? For backing off even though I could hardly spend one minute without him in my thoughts?
I’d always imagined Amy and me growing old together. Perhaps we’d travel or both have kids and they’d be friends…
Nelly… Suddenly I missed our cat so much.
And what about Chatty?
My heart ached as I recalled my last proper conversation with Mum, before the end came, a moment of lucidity amongst her growing incoherence.
‘Look after Amy,’ she’d said, under her ever-weakening breath. ‘And look after yourself, Sarah. Live life for me. One day have the retirement I’m going to miss out on, with friends, family and hobbies, all against the backdrop of a job you’ve loved. You deserve that, my darling, and so much more. Never forget how much I love you. I’ll be watching. I’ll be your own shiny star.’
I’d held her hand tight, trying to will my life into her, with an unblinking gaze, not wanting to miss a single second of her last moments. Then Dad had come in. Told me my time was up. I wouldn’t beg for more time. That would have upset Mum. So I bent over her. Kissed her cold cheek. Smoothed her hair neatly like she used to when she said goodnight to me. I whispered that she looked lovely. It was hard. I was only eleven. I told her she’d been the best mum a girl could ever want. Mum was mumbling by now. Something about me being a good little girl. Dad pulled at my arm.
I didn’t want to let go.
I left that room looking over my shoulder, part of me understanding that I’d never see my mother again.
Amy was waiting outside, playing with her favourite doll. I’d smiled brightly and told her Mum sent her love. She wanted to see her. Dad had picked us both up at school. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t go in. I told her the room smelt of yukky cleaning products and that Mum was practically asleep anyway.
A tear ran down my face. I’d tried so hard not to cry in front of Amy over the years but maybe I should have. I gulped. Sat upright. Amy and I could deal with this.
‘Come on,’ I shouted. ‘We’ll freeze to death at this rate. We need to build a shelter. We can do it, Amy. You and me.’
We found a clear space of ground, behind a cluster of wide trees and searched frantically for fallen branches. When we finally had enough, we stood them up in circle and pushed them together at their highest points, wedging the rough ends in between each other. Amy pulled the belt out of her trousers and reached it to me as I was the tallest. As best I could, I tied the branches together, at the top. Then we draped glossy leaves around the sides, fighting the wind to weave them clumsily in between the poles of wood.
One large gust would knock it sideways but the surrounding trees offered protection from the worst of the wind – for the moment anyway. Exhausted, we crawled into the small enclosure. Every time the sides shook, we expected the wigwam to collapse. Thirstily we drank and left our water bottles outside to refill the natural way.
Minutes feeling damp turned to hours shivering. Amy leant her head against my shoulder. Outside it began to turn dark.
I cried now and again, thinking about Mum. Amy saw. We talked about the past. She cried too. We sat holding hands. Amy thanked me for stepping into Mum’s shoes. I thanked her for giving me the motivation to stand up to Dad.
For just a second it felt as if Mum were in there with us too, keeping us warm, telling us everything would be all right. I started to whistle Daydream Believer. Amy joined in singing. We got louder and louder, tears streaming down our faces as we finished.
‘If we get out of this, both of us must follow our dreams,’ I said.
Amy nodded. ‘For us. For Mum.’
Eventually the tears stopped. To my surprise, I felt better for them. Stronger somehow, as if sharing our grief bonded us even more closely.
I cocked my head. The wind had eased. The rain sounded lighter.
We were going to be okay.
I’d go home. Give Nelly a big hug. Apply for jobs. But before all of that I needed to speak to Rick. The storm reminded me of how quickly life can be snatched away. Mum had passed only two months after her diagnosis.
‘Sarah! Amy!’
I strained my ears and shook my sister.
She held fists in the air. ‘Who’s there?’
I almost felt like laughing. ‘It’s all right. I don’t think we’ll need to fight. They know our names.’ I put an index finger to my lips. ‘Listen.’
Someone shouted out again.
I scrabbled out of the makeshift tent, knocking the sides. They fell apart. I pulled Amy out, behind me.
‘Over here!’ I hollered as rain now fell more like confetti.
‘This way,’ shouted Amy and jumped up and down.
Rustling preceded bushes swaying not because of the storm, but due to people pushing their way through foliage and emerging in the dusk. An Indiana Jones hat. Two other men – one of them bald. A woman with bobbed curly hair. I narrowed my eyes and gazed through the approaching darkness. Rick, Jason, Steve and Jackie.
‘We made it,’ Amy whispered. ‘At one stage I wasn’t sure we’d…’
‘Me neither,’ I said, my throat feeling full. ‘But we are two strong women who’ve been through a lot in our lives, and that will always help us get through future ordeals. We’ve inherited that strength from Mum.’
I’d never stop looking out for Amy, like Mum had wanted me to, but I now knew part of that meant being strong enough to take a step back, to let her look out for herself too.
Rick ran over. Jackie as well. She hugged Amy. Rick threw his hat to the ground and took me by the shoulders.
‘What happened? Your head…’
Briefly I explained. He reached into a big rucksack Jason passed him and handed Amy and myself a waterproof coat each. Gratefully we pulled them on – or tried to. Suddenly my limbs felt too heavy to lift. Rick helped whilst Jackie poured steaming coffees out of a flask. Jason and Steve didn’t say much whilst we munch
ed the packed teas we’d not had a chance to eat.
‘We thought it was another hurricane,’ I said, in between mouthfuls of coconut tart, crumbs tumbling out as I spoke. I bit hungrily again. ‘I should have listened to Malik. He warned me. But my mind was so full of Chatty and… other stuff.’
‘What hit today was just the tailwinds of a hurricane that, thankfully, stayed out at sea,’ said Rick. ‘It surprised the forecasters. Yet normally we track the weather a few times a day. The guests… looking for our favourite monkey… all of that distracted us as well.’
‘This is our fault,’ muttered Steve, and ran a hand over his bald head.
‘We’ve been a bunch of first-class idiots,’ said Jason.
They talked to Jackie about Chatty and she told them his story. Amy chipped in with tales of the other animals the conservation project looked after. Steve took the flask from Jackie and topped up my cup. He and I chatted.
‘Seriously,’ said Steve and stared at the ground. ‘The way me and the guys have behaved – well, mainly me. I just didn’t think about how the monkey felt. And the loud behaviour… the litter… I… I’ve kind of lost the plot, the last year or two. The divorce with the wife hit me hard.’ He shook his head and looked up. ‘I’ve been egging my friends on to make this into a real lads’ weekend, as if we’re twenty years younger. We’d like to apologise.’
‘It’s not your fault my sister and I went on a picnic,’ I said.
He shrugged. ‘I saw the panic on Rick’s face when he ran back to the house to get waterproofs for you both. He muttered something about an argument about Chatty. How he’d said something stupid. I brought all that on and I’m truly sorry.’ Steve left to fill up Amy’s cup.
Rick caught my eye and came over.
37
‘How do you feel?’ he asked.
‘Fine, thanks. Sorry for all the trouble.’
‘If anyone’s to blame, it’s me. How did you manage?’
‘We built a tent, out of leaves and branches.’ Tentatively I took his hand and led him around to the back of nearby trees. ‘It doesn’t look much now but it did the job.’
He didn’t let go of my fingers. ‘Sarah, I’m sorry, the things I said… I was frantic with worry about Chatty and took it out on you. I know you’ve helped out through the goodness of your heart. All the hours you’ve put in… You’ve been incredible. I just didn’t understand why you kept losing your job a secret and… I can’t bear being lied to.’ A cloud darker than the ones we’d run from this afternoon crept over his face.
‘Do you want to talk about it?’
He bit his bottom lip.
‘You don’t have to.’
‘I do. I owe you an explanation.’ He reached up for Amy’s belt and held the two ends in each of his hands, pulling them hard. ‘Three years ago, just before I jacked in my job and moved over here to set up Seagrass Conservation… I was engaged. We met at work. She was an oil spill response advisor.’
‘Sounds impressive.’
‘Yes. Gabby loved her job. Loved the money. She seemed so confident with her bright red lipstick and professional reputation that was second to none. But she told lie after lie. Big ones. Small ones. When I found out she called off the wedding, a week before it was due to take place.’
‘Oh Rick… that must have been such a shock. Was… was there someone else?’
‘Everyone thought one of us must have cheated. But no. Nothing like that but it was complicated to explain to people, you see. When we first met, at my desk, a friend had left a packet of cigarettes there. She thought they were mine. Told me she smoked too. When she found out I didn’t, she stopped – said I’d inspired her. Made a big thing of it. Every time that conversation came up during the relationship, she told me how I’d transformed her life. But the truth was she never used to smoke at all.’
‘Why make up something like that?’
‘Gabby lied over money as well. She was always buying me presents but secretly ran up huge debts. It turned out she wasn’t well. Gabby had an eating disorder. Despite her incredible success at work and looks that were always earning her appreciative looks, she didn’t feel good enough. She was the first in her family to go to university and felt anything but leading a perfect life would let her proud parents down. She’d lied to me about so many things to cover up her problem… made up all sorts of food intolerances. Got out of big family food events with my family, like Christmas, by pretending her gran had died. That particular lie became so elaborate. She even took a day off work for the supposed funeral.’
‘Gosh. I’m sorry. Sorry for her. Sorry for you.’
‘I can see now that it wasn’t her lying – it was the illness. I hope she’s doing okay. But… it left me with all sorts of questions, such as didn’t she think I’d want to help? But then I did my own research… began to understand just how she must have struggled with such a big secret. My heart broke when I thought about how she’d been suffering on her own.’ He pulled the belt tighter. ‘It broke even more when she pushed me away. I felt so helpless. And then all of her lies that we became entangled in… it just got too much. I really loved her. Thought we had a future together. It took about a year to get over the fact that I thought I’d known a person so well when, in fact, I hardly knew them at all. I told her none of the past mattered and that we’d get her treatment, together. But she was too embarrassed and broke it off a couple of days after admitting the truth. Ghosted me everywhere on social media. Did her best to avoid me at work.’
‘I can’t imagine how that must have felt.’
‘I’m over it now and some good came out of it – the breakup made it easier for me to decide to give up my career and move here.’ He rolled up the belt and put it in his pocket.
‘I should have told you about my unemployment. There was opportunity enough. I can see how it looked odd. It’s just… you know the way Lee is with you – the brother who thinks he knows best?’
Rick nodded.
‘I’ve always wanted to protect Amy – like Lee after your accident. I know she’s grown up and it seems ridiculous but I hate the thought of her ever being upset. It makes me feel sick inside. A sickness I used to feel as a child. Dad could be so vindictive – in a sly way. If Amy got hurt, it hurt me too.’
He took my hand again and his grip tightened.
‘I don’t blame you for your outburst,’ I continued. ‘If our cat, Nelly, was ever taken my head would be all over the place. The truth is, today, it’s made me… What I mean is… how we’ve been together these last weeks… you and me… you see…’ I draped both my arms around his neck and stood on tiptoe. I pressed my lips firmly against his, heat glowing through my body as if it was midday and the clouds had parted. He kissed back, gently at first, then stronger, harder.
‘Does it sound strange,’ he said in a husky voice, ‘worrying you’ve lost something before even knowing if you’ve really had it?’ Our faces were inches apart. He held my waist tightly. Finally we parted.
Gently he ran a finger across my bruised head. ‘I was so convinced Gabby was the one. But then you and Amy got lost in this storm. The thought of something happening to you… the overwhelming sense of panic inside…’ He swallowed. ‘Whilst I felt deeply for Gabby, I never felt like I have the last couple of weeks.’
Once more we shared a kiss. It ignited a storm inside me. An exhilarating, breathless, sensual storm I never wanted to end.
‘I suppose we’d better make our way back,’ he said eventually. ‘Get you and Amy checked out.’ He went to say something else but turned to go instead.
‘What?’
‘It’s nothing.’
I raised an eyebrow. ‘No secrets.’
‘The comment you made about me being like your dad; about him holding you responsible for your mother’s death…’
I’d never repeated his hateful words to anyone. Dad had spat them out of Amy’s earshot and Anabelle had simply stood there in horror. I’d buried his spite into my
memory, as deep as I could. But now and again his words crept out and crowded my mind, like a parasitic weed.
‘I was only told about how ill Mum was a few weeks before her death, when she became confined to bed.’
We sat down on a nearby log.
‘I denied it to myself. Refused to believe it was happening. Until Mum…’ My voice caught. ‘She confirmed my worst fears one day, after school. I was sitting on her bed. She took my hands. Hers felt so fragile. She started rambling about when she’d be gone. Muttered stuff about how I’d always have Amy. That I was a sensible, resilient little girl and had a great life ahead of me.’
‘I didn’t sleep that night. I felt so alone. And frightened.’ I stared blankly into the distance. Rick held my hand so tight. ‘But that didn’t stop me leaving home as soon as I could. Dad was a malicious man.’
‘You said I was just like him…’
‘His charisma – that’s how you remind me of him. He got away with his behaviour because of that and his good looks. My mum and stepmother both lived their lives to keep him happy. The way I feel about you…’
‘I’m not him. And you’re not them,’ he said gently.
‘It just struck a nerve – you doubting me and my motives for helping out. You see Dad never believed in me. He just wasn’t interested. He’s always too worried about what other people thought. You know, he changed his surname by deed poll.’
‘It’s Sterling, right?’
‘Didn’t used to be. He was born Gary Smith but wanted a name that sounded rich. That was the reasoning behind what he called the cat that came to live with me and Amy.’
‘Nelly?’
‘He called her Chanel. I guess with the names Amy and Sarah my sister and I got off lucky.’
‘But blaming you for your mother’s death…? What happened right at the end, then? An accident?’
I snorted. ‘Dad had a way of twisting things to put people down – even his daughters – but especially his wives. I don’t think he’d genuinely believed I’d move out. He didn’t care about me – just how it would look to his friends and business colleagues. He told me I’d never manage. As an angry parting shot said Mum’s breast cancer…’ My voice wavered. ‘It was because I pushed her over when I was a child.’
The Summer Island Swap Page 25
