by Sky McCoy
Bryan and I pushed through a small group hanging around the bar, and still there was no sight of Lou. “Let’s get a drink.” We walked up to the bar, and someone tapped me on the back. When I turned, I locked eyes with Daniel, who appeared to be a little drunk. No, he was a lot drunk.
“Who is this good-looking fella? At first I thought he was Lou, but then I think Lou is much taller than him.”
“Bryan, this is Daniel.”
“I’ve heard so much about you, Daniel. Ethan told me that you were a Master and you would be able to help me.”
“I hope I can help, because I can’t seem to get my shit together.”
When the server passed, Daniel pulled a drink from his tray. When I looked up Hayden was behind Daniel and had his hand.
“Come on, Daniel, we have to talk. Sidney and I have something to say and we can’t talk in this loud room.”
Daniel shrugged his shoulders and let Hayden lead him out of the room.
“You have some interesting friends. Are they a threesome?”
“Who?”
“Your friend Hayden, Daniel, and Sidney?”
“Well, that would be news to me. Not unless it just happened,” I said, peering at the trio huddled together talking and holding hands.
“I think I know when three men play together.”
I didn’t know the signs, because the last time I’d talked to Hayden he said he’d rather die than share Daniel with anyone, but maybe he had no choice, and it was either that or give him up. And since he didn’t appear to have given Daniel up, he’d probably compromised.
“And what about you? Where is your fiancé?”
“He’s standing behind him,” I heard a strong baritone voice almost break when I turned to see Lou standing with a curious look on his face. He wasn’t smiling as if he was glad to see me. We hadn’t talked or been together for more than a week. I thought he’d be happy to see me.
“Lou this is a friend, Bryan Dale.” Lou didn’t extend his hand, he nodded. “Bryan, this is Luca Summer my fiancé.”
“It’s a pleasure, Mr. Summer. Ethan has told me all about you.”
“Did he tell you that we were supposed to be married last month and he called that off? Now I know why.”
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, Mr. Summer, but Ethan and I are friends. Just friends.”
“Then why don’t I know about you?”
“Because I only just met Bryan,” I interjected. “And he’s a friend and deserves the respect you would give to anyone, including me, Luca.”
“If you don’t mind, Bryan, I’d like to talk to Ethan alone. If that’s okay with you, Ethan.”
“Where do you want to talk?” I asked Lou.
“In my office.”
“I’ll meet you there. I have to see if Daniel will entertain Bryan for a few minutes.”
“From what I know of Bryan Dale, he knows more about entertaining than Daniel,” Lou added.
“That’s uncalled for Luca. I’ve never known you—” Bryan interrupted. “Your fiancé is right. I don’t need anyone to entertain me. Ethan, I’m sure if I’d met your man under different circumstances he wouldn’t be jealous, especially if he knew me better.”
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” I asked Bryan.
“He’s a man who fucks men for a living. He’ll be okay,” Lou said, his words slurred and a curious smile playing on his lips.
“Yes, of course I’ll be fine. And I know where to find the door, too.” Bryan said, looking at Lou.
When I left Bryan in the middle of a crowd, looking like a lost lamb, I turned to see Luca headed down the corridor to his office with a drink in his hand.
Chapter 6
Luca
I had no idea what had come over me. I didn’t think I was a jealous man, but apparently I was, especially when it came to Ethan. I could handle the men before Ethan, leaving me. I just worked and used my work to get them out of my system.
However, this wasn’t the case with Ethan. I couldn’t function with him being away from me. I really needed help handling this. Thinking about what would happen if he refused to marry me. He’d postponed that for weeks and now, seeing the real me, he would probably walk away and I’d never be able to have him again.
At the cabin would have been a great time to discuss my fears, but I let that opportunity pass, because of my insatiable desire for him. He made me laugh and I was overwhelmed with the happiness he brought to our relationship. I couldn’t lose that, I told myself.
Talking to someone about my insecurities concerning Ethan and our pending marriage had been at the forefront of my concerns. One of the lawyers in my firm was married to a therapist and he should be here now. I’d done enough work and worrying for today. Now was the time to enjoy the party and lighten up.
I grabbed a bottle from my cabinet and poured Scotch into a tall glass without water or ice. But first, I needed something in my stomach to counteract the liquor I would drink tonight. I planned on getting soused. That was my mother’s favorite word, and she said that after my father died when she faced the reality of being alone.
Finding myself feeling that emptiness of living my life alone was unsettling. I picked up a sandwich from a party tray on my desk, and looked at it. I needed to eat because I hadn’t felt like eating all week, but I needed something in my stomach. I walked around my desk and sat on the edge, and ate the small sandwich and swallowed down a portion of liquor.
I’d had enough drinks, therefore, I thought I’d leave, greet my employees and guests before Daniel came looking for me.
I put on a happy face because I should be happy, right? It was the holidays and people expected you to be in good spirits, but when you felt alone in the middle of a crowd of people, laughing and talking and kissing during the holidays, what the fuck could you do? Stand there with a sour face like I was doing now.
I tried to wipe the gloom from my eyes and mouth, but I didn’t have much luck. I’d practiced showing the best face all my life. I’d been the life and soul of the party. A man who had advice for everyone, a man who could smile, even when his heart was broken, but now I didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with me.
Oh, I did know, and it had to do with Ethan.
As I strolled down the corridor, I passed a couple kissing in the darkened hallway. They reminded me of Ethan and me in the back of that bar when we first met. I smiled at them as I passed. They didn’t see me and if they felt about each other the way Ethan and I felt, they didn’t care who spotted them in their passion, and who was I to interfere with lust, and a lot of sex.
Lust and sex would rule the night.
You could find love later, once you got past the desire to have sex and your relationship progressed. I sauntered past them and made my way to the main room where the partygoers were dancing. As I wandered through the room, I heard music by Coldplay, “I want someone I can hold someone I can kiss...” As I made my way past the dance floor, the DJ played Taylor Swift, “You belonged with me.” As I neared the seats reserved for me and Ethan, I stopped, because there was no Ethan, just faces, smiling at the dancers as they held up their drinks, and ate.
Someone tugged on my arm, I stopped and turned and looked past him searching for Ethan. “Mr. Summer. Mr. Summer.” My eyes focused on the young man and woman holding hands. Just the person I wanted to see.
“This is my husband.”
“Yes of course. Have I met him before?”
“He’s the therapist I told you about.” As I stood, I fixed my eyes on them, then her husband extended his hand and I did as well.
“It’s great to meet you. Did Molly explain to you that I’m a gay man and I need someone expert in dealing with issues particular to my concerns?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Call me, Lou,” I stated.
“I’ve scheduled you on my calendar, Lou. Would you be ready to come in soon and bring your partner with you?”
“I’m not sure he’ll be available
or would want to come. Right now it’s just me.”
“That’s fine, but if you two are going to be married soon, the earlier you tell him the better.”
After getting all the information from the therapist, I left them where they were headed to the buffet table. I eased through a gathering of drunken lawyers, still searching for Ethan. Some I knew, and others I’d seen in court, or Leather Bound. Then, I came to a sudden stop at a column near a staircase leading to our conference rooms.
I stood behind a pillar like a scared rabbit being chased by hounds.
I blinked my eyes because I wasn’t certain what I’d seen. When I opened them, the tall man was still there, standing close to Ethan, and they both were smiling broadly at each other. I staggered from behind the column, pushed my way through a crowd of inebriated men and women who wanted to shake my hand, thanking me for their bonus checks.
I did stop and shake a few hands, but it was an empty gesture as I kept my focus on Ethan and the man gesturing and laughing with his back to me.
When he turned around to talk to a group of men near him, I knew that face. I’d seen that handsome face with the wide shoulders towering over a smaller man in a video.
The other man in the video was the height of Ethan, bent over a chair, or a bed, I didn’t know which, but that man who resembled Ethan in stature, had been naked, clutching and biting at a pillow face down, and standing behind him, with a monstrous hard dick was Bryan Dale. Mr. Hung, himself. And his balls were equally as large. A racehorse had nothing on this guy. I thought I had a cock that would satisfy Ethan, but I could see I wasn’t enough for him.
I barreled through and grabbed Ethan by the arm. “Where have you been?” I hissed. Ethan jerked his arm from me, narrowed his eyes, but he never raised his voice, unlike me who had acted like a lovesick ass.
“I didn’t have time to call because Mr. Clausen sent me to L.A.”
“Did he go with you?”
“What kind of question is that? It was on business if you must know, and it was to—”
“To fuck Bryan Dale. I told you about Wild Bill. He would do anything to make me look bad even set you up with him. Is that why you brought him to my party? To make me look like a fool?”
“You’re doing that all on your own. This is Bryan Dale a—”
“I know who he is and what he does,” I interrupted, with a growl that I didn’t recognize coming from my mouth.
“Since when are you judging my friends? I don’t judge yours?”
“My friends aren’t porn stars.”
“But they own and run Leather Bound, and who knows what goes on behind Daniel’s doors.”
“Did someone call me?” The three of us turned and glanced over to Daniel, who had a palm wrapped around a drink in one hand, and his other hand wrapped around Hayden. Both were drunk and I wasn’t drunk enough.
“Come on Bryan,” Daniel said, handing Bryan his drink and taking his hand. We have a lot to talk about because I know who you are. For one, I want you to come to my club. I think I can make you an offer you can’t refuse. This party is winding down because Luca isn’t drunk enough, and he’s become a total prick since he’s fallen in love. Right, Hayden, my beautiful boy?” How the fuck does Hayden know anything? I thought.
Hayden leaned in and gave Daniel a wet, heated kiss. Bryan smiled at the two showing their affection, but Ethan and I were far from being amused or happy by their display of affection.
“Everyone seems to know me, but I don’t know you guys,” Bryan said, amused at the idea that he could be some kind of celebrity with these lawyers. Daniel yanked at Bryan’s hands, and Bryan turned away, walking off with Daniel and Hayden, leaving us surrounded by the coldness that separated me and Ethan.
I needed a drink and I turned away, looking for the closest exit to my office which was behind a leather sofa. Ethan turned his glance from me and stood looking at Daniel and the other men who’d found a place on the leather sofa for the three of them. Then Sidney came and sat on the edge of the sofa, near Hayden. They were drinking and laughing and talking, and Sidney kissed Hayden on Daniel’s approval, while Daniel kept Bryan occupied with conversation.
WHAT THE FUCK HAD I done? Before I could close my office door behind me, Ethan pushed the door open and stood glaring at me with his arms crossed, his beautiful green accusatory eyes pinning me in one spot.
He marched up to me, “Why the fuck would you talk to me like that in front of my friends and your employees?” His voice was raw and unforgiving.
“No one heard me but Bryan and you.”
“Exactly. You think because you fuck me that you have the right to shame me in front of everyone, just because I don’t call you and tell you where I am every minute. You left me not long ago and didn’t tell me anything. I didn’t march to your office and insult anyone.”
I had a good reason and Ethan knew it, but he was in one of those moods where he wanted to argue. I never liked to argue.
“I was with my family, you know that.” I needed a drink, so I turned away and walked to my desk, where a half bottle of Scotch stood opened from earlier.
Ethan followed behind me. “So this is what you use for your courage,” he said, holding up the bottle. “You’ve never behaved liked this before.”
I snatched the bottle from his hand and glared at him. “To answer your question, yes. I needed that to cover up how much I missed you, because I didn’t know where you were and who you were with.”
“Why would you think I would be with anyone but you? I love you, Lou. I don’t like you right now, but I do love you. I thought we’d gotten past all that shit when I agreed to marry you.”
“I thought we had too, but when Daniel said that there were videos of you with Bryan Dale, I lost it. I’m not sophisticated enough to make love to you in different ways. Maybe you want flowers, or presents. I never gave you flowers.”
“I never wanted shit like that. I never needed flowers, candy, or presents, I just needed you.”
It sounded as if he was speaking in the past tense, and now I’d fucked everything up by my outrageous jealous behavior.
“Ethan, I thought you wanted something different. I know only one way. I’m kinda like a bull in a china shop. I can go in easy, but I’m a large man and everything I touch gets broken. I didn’t want to break you. I’ve been rough all my life.”
“When we first got together, I knew all of this about you, but I didn’t know that you were jealous and would accuse me of infidelity.” Ethan had me speechless. I made a move toward him, but he looked at me and raised his palm. “Stop. Not now, Luca,” he warned.
“What do you want me to say, Ethan? I love you too much, and maybe we shouldn’t be together? Would that make you happy? Are you going to tell me that you don’t want to live with me, and you’re putting the wedding off again? I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m at my wits end.” I’d confessed to him that I was jealous, but it wasn’t a secret to anyone that Ethan was driving me out of my mind by not being near me, or around every morning when I woke and went to the office. “I want to see you when I wake in the morning. I want to smell you after we’ve made love early in the mornings, and I want to have coffee with you on the weekends. Sit and read in silence as long as I know you’re with me.”
Ethan closed his eyes, then huffed, turned and headed for the door. I had to stop him. I needed him and I knew I would be of no use to anyone if he walked away from me. I slipped my hand behind him as his eyes followed my hands, and I locked the door.
“Are you going to hold me hostage now until I give in to your demands?”
“You misunderstood me, Ethan. I would never hold you against your will. You can leave any time you want.” We stared at each other and it was as if he was waiting for me to say something, so I did. “I’ve seen Bryan Dale on film and his cock is larger than mine.” Why the fuck did that come out of my mouth? Ethan turned, his eyes glaring at me. He fumed from those few words. What the fuck did I just do? I w
as screwing this up. Oh fuck me.
“Is that’s what’s bothering you? I’ve seen his cock, and it’s not as large as yours.”
My mind went into a spin. That made me more upset, confused, and annoyed.
“Why did you tell me that? Can’t you see I’m in enough pain? I wanted to take Bryan Dale and hit him in the middle of my office party the minute I walked in and saw you standing next to him. There you were introducing him to my people.”
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t hit him, because you would have a lawsuit on your hands and he has a hell of a lot more money than you do to play around with. And I know your weakness, because I’m his attorney, and right now, I’d take his money to file against you. I’m getting a lot of money to represent him. Bryan just gave me a shitload of money to be his personal attorney. I’ll call Bryan tomorrow and apologize.”
“You don’t have to apologize for me. I’ll do that myself. Is that what you want, Ethan, money?”
“Oh for fuck’s sake Luca, you don’t get it. It’s not money I want. I thought I needed it, but I don’t.”
It hurt when he resorted to calling me Luca. His hand was on the lock. I walked behind him and placed my hand over his.
He turned and said, “Don’t.”
“I can’t let you go like this.”
“You can’t stop me.”
“I don’t want to stop you, Ethan. Can’t you see that I don’t know how to talk to a man I love? I never know how to talk to men. My father died when I was entering my teens and I’ve grown up around women.”
“But you supervise men.”
“Not a man, I love. I just know one way to love and that’s to give all of myself to him. I’m giving you all of me.”
“Now I don’t know if I want all of you if you’re going to continue with this type of behavior.”
“I’ve made an appointment to see a therapist, Ethan.”
Finally something had his face smoothing and his body relaxing.
“That’s good, Lou,” Ethan admitted, turning around to face me. At least I’d got his attention. The attention I needed from him. Not the angry, pissed-off one, I inadvertently reaped with my stupid remarks.
