Hex to Pay: A Witch Detective Cozy Mystery

by Stevie Day

  Someone had seconded the motion but added on the “New.” Much laughter had ensued and from all accounts that town council meeting had turned into a raucous good time, the likes of which had rarely been seen in any such town council meeting. And by the end of the meeting, the council—who was also possibly drunk—had passed the name change.

  Alice, personally, loved the name. And she loved shrimp. And if she ever wanted some shrimp and was too lazy to wade out to shore with a bucket to scoop some up herself, she could always find someone selling them by the pound for a few dollars.

  Now wasn’t a good time for shrimp, however. She had her murder case to pursue.

  She arrived at the police station soon after, finding the front counter manned by Emmitt and Eve, as she’d hoped.

  Emmitt and Eve were twins. Fraternal, with Emmitt being male and Eve female. And yet, despite the impossibility of opposing gender twins being identical, the red-headed duo insisted—absolutely insisted—that they were. On top of that little fact, they couldn’t have looked any more different. Eve, with her petite build and fair skin, contrasted wildly with Emmitt, who was big, burly, and bearded.

  They tried to share the common twin quirk of saying things in unison and finishing each other’s sentences, but more often than not they were usually just a little… off. Not quite as in sync as they liked to think they were.

  Alice had known them for a long time and found them quite endearing. They were peppy, happy, helpful, honest, and always put in their best effort. But because of their quirks, shared and otherwise, they were a bit difficult to take seriously. They certainly hadn’t given Barry Lombardi a good impression of their competence.

  “Alice!” they said in near unison, though the word was staggered by a fraction of a second, giving it an almost echo-like quality.

  Eventually they’ll get their timing right, Alice thought.

  “Hey, guys,” she said with a grin.

  “What brings you down here?” Emmitt asked, scratching his beard. “Is it about that little dog?”

  “The pug?” Eve elaborated.

  “That lady was a really—” Emmitt started, waiting for Eve to finish.

  “Nice lady,” Eve finished, though she didn’t sound quite sure if that was the description Emmitt was going for. “But she was awfully—”

  “Worried about her dog,” Emmitt concluded confidently.

  Alice couldn’t help but notice the two share a quick glance of satisfaction with each other at successfully pulling off the “complete each other’s sentences” part of their gimmick.

  “Actually, no,” Alice answered. “Barry Lombardi hired me. He thinks someone killed his wife.”

  The twins exchanged troubled looks. “He does?” Eve asked, straightening out her crisp uniform collar.

  “Yup,” Alice responded.

  “Wow,” Emmitt said. “So he’s really not dropping it, is he?”

  “Well, I guess we shouldn’t be surprised,” Eve said, more to Emmitt than to Alice. “He was pretty insistent we investigate for murder, after all. It’s just that there was nothing there.”

  As sure as they were, Alice had to persist. Having known the two since middle school, she didn’t feel too awkward interviewing them despite them both being police officers. “Can you guys tell me what happened? From the beginning? Hearing it fresh from you guys might help me get a handle on things.”

  Emmitt leaned forward, his size rather imposing compared to his smaller sister. “You don’t really think that he’s right, do you?”

  Alice froze for a moment. If they suspected she was questioning their work, that definitely wasn’t her intention. “Look,” she began, keeping her tone light. “This is the first day of my investigation and you are stop number one, that’s all. My little notebook still has a bunch of blank pages. He seemed very sincere and, as you can imagine, distraught. The least I can do is explore every option. If it leads me to the same conclusion you guys reached, that’s okay. Maybe that can help him accept what you’ve already told him.”

  The twins looked at each other, their initial attitude softening.

  “You’re sweet, Alice,” Eve said.

  “Yeah, we’re sorry if we came across a little strong,” Emmitt said, scratching the back of his head.

  Eve continued, “But it’s like we said. There really is nothing there. The paramedics arrived first, but we were only a minute behind. They were trying to revive her, but couldn’t.”

  “There was no evidence at the scene of foul play,” Emmitt added. “Mrs. Lombardi was on the floor when we got there. Mr. Lombardi, who as you can imagine was very upset, said he’d found her face down on her keyboard.”

  “He tried to revive her, but when he couldn’t, he called 911,” Eve continued. “He didn’t know CPR but the 911 operator guided him through the steps as best she could until the paramedics got there five minutes later.”

  “And was there an autopsy?” Alice asked.

  “Yes,” Eve said. “The medical examiner—”

  “Dr. Dumbbutt,” Emmitt interrupted.

  Eve shot a disappointed look at her brother, snapping, “Emmitt!”

  “Sorry,” he said, lowering his head slightly.

  “His name is actually Dr. Dombrowski,” Eve continued. “And despite my brother, he’s very professional.”

  “Even if he’s kind of—” Emmitt started.

  “Competent,” Eve finished, though it seemed she chose that word out of politeness rather than honesty.

  “Is he?” Alice asked. “If he’s competent, why are you calling him Dr. Dumbbutt?”

  “It’s a personal thing,” Emmitt said. “I mean, yeah, fine. He’s decent at his job. But that’s the only nice thing I’ll say about him.”

  “Okay,” Alice said, making a mental note. So this medical examiner didn’t seem to come highly recommended by either of the twins, but Eve was too polite to sully his name. That put the toxicology report in question, at least to some degree. “So Dr. Dombrowski did do an autopsy?”

  “He did,” Eve confirmed. “He said she had a heart attack and found evidence of a pre-existing heart condition. And that was pretty much that. Cause of death was ruled a heart attack, and the evidence supported it.”

  “What about poison?” Alice asked, seeing no reason to beat around the bush. “I know it might seem fanciful, but isn’t it possible—”

  “They ran a full toxicology report,” Eve interrupted. “Nothing out of the ordinary. No hints of poison or anything resembling poison.”

  “Look, Alice,” Emmitt said. “I’ve seen this sort of thing happen before. Sometimes people really do just die inexplicably. Blood clots, aneurysms, heart attacks—it can come out of nowhere. And it’s also common for family members to want a better explanation for the passing of their loved one, even if there’s nothing else to suspect.”

  “Yeah, it stinks,” Eve said, her big eyes downcast. “She was way too young and Mr. Lombardi seems like a decent enough guy.”

  “Not to mention, if we did suspect foul play, we all know who suspect number one would be,” Emmitt added.

  Alice knew the answer to that one. “Barry Lombardi.”

  “Right,” Emmitt said. “The spouse is always the first suspect, and don’t let anyone tell you differently.”

  “And who else besides her husband would have the means and opportunity to administer poison?” Eve asked. “Whether gradually or all at once?”

  Alice shook her head and crossed her arms tightly around her chest. “I don’t think he could have done it, though. And I’m not just saying that because he’s my client.”

  “We know,” the twins said in their echoed near unison way.

  “If he did it,” Alice reasoned, “it wouldn’t make sense to push you guys so hard to investigate for murder and then go ahead and hire me. And his grief and pain… That’s very real.”

  Eve moved around the front desk and put a hand on Alice’s shoulder. “I think he’s exactly what you think he
is, Alice. A grieving widower who never imagined his wife could be there one minute and gone the next.”

  “Yeah,” Emmitt said. “He’s looking for someone to blame, or at least a reason why this happened to her. To them.”

  “Can you blame him though?” Alice asked. She was moving away from any kind of questioning or information gathering, but that was okay. The twins were friends as well as police officers. “It’s only human nature to look for answers when we lose someone. And it can take a long time before we realize there are no answers. It doesn’t always make sense. Sometimes people just… die.”

  Alice stared off into space, her blue eyes blinking back tears.

  “Alice,” Emmitt started, but Eve gently raised her hand in his direction, shaking her head.

  Alice spun to blink her eyes dry again, then looked back at the twins. She smiled and whispered, “Sorry.”

  “Gosh, no, Alice,” Eve said. “Don’t be sorry. We know it hits close to home.”

  “Yeah, Alice, we understand,” Emmitt added softly.

  Alice bounced once on her feet, trying to will the sadness away with a little pep. “No, no. I’m okay. And I’m here on…” she paused, her voice deepening, “‘official business.’”

  Eve smiled and returned to her spot behind the counter. “Of course.”

  “Okay, then,” Alice said. She put her notebook in the back pocket of her jeans. “I think that’s enough for today. You guys okay if I come back for follow-up questions?”

  “Of course,” Emmitt said.

  “Yeah, anything we can do to help, Alice,” Eve said, and Alice smiled, knowing she was lucky to have such understanding friends.

  Back in her car, Alice put the key in the ignition, but paused for a deep breath before turning it. She thought about her mother every day, without exception, but it had been some time since she actually felt the sting of her loss so deeply. It was always there and always would be, but she’d made peace with her death a long time ago.

  Barry Lombardi’s loss was fresh and raw, and perhaps her sometimes too strong sense of empathy was on overload again.

  The moment passed. She found her center and gradually calmness returned.

  Back to it.

  She turned the key, but not before pulsing a little magic into ol’ Gertie’s steering wheel. No way this old girl was starting without it.

  6

  Alice pulled into Dr. Dalton’s Real Estate parking lot around 10am the next morning. The office sat on a busy intersection and looked like it used to be a charming little house before it had been renovated into a small business front.

  After her visit with the twins yesterday, Alice had spent the rest of the day researching. Google and Facebook searches were always a good place to start, but Alice also had several subscriptions to various background check resources, so she had gotten the ball rolling with those as well.

  She started with the obvious: Janet and Barry Lombardi. What she’d found was a seemingly normal couple in their early thirties. They’d only been married five years, together almost ten. They were childless, though if Alice had read their playful banter via years’ worth of Facebook posts, that might have been an ongoing topic of conversation.

  As she already knew, Janet sold houses at Dr. Dalton’s. Barry, she learned, was an accountant for one of the big name agencies in the nearby city, and also worked part time at the local supermarket. They seemed to be doing okay financially, already owning a home.

  The background checks revealed nothing more than an occasional speeding ticket.

  She’d begun her research on the three people who worked at Dr. Dalton’s, but it was late and she didn’t want to skip her nighttime rituals two nights in a row.

  The following morning, she woke up to a beautiful sunshiny day and just couldn’t imagine sitting in front of the computer all day. So she decided to go out and meet with them first, saving the research for later.

  Alice also believed that sometimes it was better to go in cold. There was a lot to be gained by research, but she could learn much more about a person by being in front of them. By observing their facial expressions, their body language, and how they reacted to certain questions.

  That was why she hadn’t called ahead of her visit. What would Dr. Dalton and his two employees’ reactions be when they found out she was investigating the possibility of their co-worker being murdered? Would she be able to get a clue simply from their reactions?

  The moment she put her hand on the doorknob to the real estate office’s door, a huge slick-haired man dressed in a big black suit emerged from his office, making a beeline for her. Funny, she thought, how salespeople always had a sixth sense when a potential customer had arrived. He already had a “money” smile on the ready.

  “Good morning, young lady,” he said in a deep, booming voice as she entered through the door. He was coming at her fast, his hand extended, and his expression screaming, “I just want to sell you something!” Alice couldn’t help but feel slightly terrified by his approach.

  The man was massive and presented an imposing presence. He was at least a foot taller than the rather diminutive Alice and weighed in at well over 300 pounds, she guessed. Despite his enormity, his suit seemed somehow two sizes too large. Perhaps he planned to grow into the suit, or wasn’t taking any chances considering where his weight was currently at.

  Alice accepted his proffered hand and shook. He gave her a soft handshake. She guessed he knew his own strength and was being considerate enough not to break every bone in her hand.

  “Dr. Dalton, at your service,” he said, the money smile still on his face. Besides being gigantic, he was also rather sharp-looking. His dark hair was gelled back, with little gray streaks that made him look distinguished. His piercing blue eyes contrasted with his tanned skin, and his slight wrinkles suggested he was about as old as Alice’s father. “Gorgeous day, isn’t it?” he asked.

  “It sure is,” Alice answered.

  “Great day to go house hunting,” he said with a weird wink, leaning in conspiratorially, as if house hunting was the biggest secret he knew of.

  “I’m actually not here for that,” Alice said, and she watched his face drop slightly.

  Still, he maintained his composure. “Oh, okay. Looking for a rental, maybe?”

  “No, sir. I’m actually here about Janet Lombardi.”

  “Oh?” Dr. Dalton’s face changed to confusion, and Alice wished she had phrased her words differently. She might’ve been able to get more information from his reaction. She decided to be blunt.

  “I was hired by her husband to look into her death.”

  Well, that sure got a reaction. A darkness spread across Dr. Dalton’s face, and for a moment Alice could easily imagine this man being capable of murder. But what he said next clarified what his motivations for getting upset were.

  “So you’re not a customer?”

  “No, sir,” she said. She kept her own face as neutral as possible, managing only a slight, polite smile.

  “Oh,” he said. “Well, why don’t you come to my office? We can talk there.”

  “Thank you, sir,” Alice said. She followed him into his office and sat at the chair across from his perfectly manufactured-for maximum-friendliness office. As she sat, she noticed a degree on the wall: an honorary doctorate from the University of Western North Dakota.

  Wait, she thought. Is that really a place?

  Dr. Dalton sat down and eyed Alice suspiciously. He folded his hands on his desk and leaned forward. “So,” he started. “What did you mean when you said you were hired to ‘look into her death’? My understanding was she had a heart attack and died of natural causes. What is there to look into?”

  “Maybe nothing,” Alice answered. “Mr. Lombardi is understandably upset. Actually, ‘distraught’ might be a better word. His wife was young and in good health. Here one minute, gone the next. I think he’s just looking for an explanation.”

  “And you think you can provide that explan
ation for him,” Dr. Dalton said, leaning back in his chair. “For a fee, of course.”

  There it was. The “douche,” as Barry Lombardi had called him, had just revealed himself. She played along.

  “Of course,” she said. “Gotta pay the bills somehow, am I right?” She smiled and, on a whim, winked. Dr. Dalton laughed a nasty little laugh and Alice, a generous soul by nature, was having a hard time liking him.

  But that wasn’t important. She was here for information and, if she were being honest, to see if Dr. Dalton might’ve had a reason to kill Janet Lombardi.

  She decided to plow straight ahead. “What was your relationship with Mrs. Lombardi?”

  “Relationship?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “I mean… she was my employee? What are you getting at?”

  Alice remained calm and unassuming. “Nothing, Dr. Dalton. Nothing at all. It’s just a question.”

  “Well, I don’t like the question.” He sat back up.

  Jeez. If he was this testy after the first and most basic question, Alice wasn’t sure she was going to get very far.

  “I promise you, Doctor, I’m not trying to insinuate anything. Not in the least. I’m just at the start here and—”

  “I don’t like that you’re asking questions at all, frankly,” the imposing man said, getting up from his chair. He paced back and forth behind the desk, his eyes darting from his feet, then back at Alice.

  She was taken aback by how strangely this conversation was going. “Are you okay, Doctor?” she asked.

  “Oh, fine, fine,” he said, waving his hand in the air as he continued to pace. “I just don’t understand why you’re here.”

  Alice suppressed a frustrated sigh. She was trying to be cool and professional, but Dr. Dalton’s strange behavior had thrown her for a loop.

  “It’s like I said, Mr. Dal—”

  “Dr. Dalton,” he said, stopping in his tracks and glaring at her.

  “Right, sorry, Doctor, okay,” she stumbled. She realized she was twirling her hair, one of her long-time go-to habits when feeling stressed. It wasn’t appropriate for this setting, and she willed herself to stop.