Hex to Pay: A Witch Detective Cozy Mystery

by Stevie Day

  17

  Alice and Aunt Penny arrived at Munroe Investigations at 9:10 that morning. Late… but Alice decided to let it slide. She’d been on a sudden and steep downward spiral the last couple of days and took a glass-half-full approach to flipping her “Closed” sign to “Open” ten minutes late. Not where she wanted to be, but moving back in the right direction. Getting things back in order and getting back to work on this case would only help to keep things moving.

  She was still worried and a little scared about the loss of her magic. The emptiness without it was something she couldn’t just shrug off. It was always there. But her work, and especially the murder of Janet Lombardi, couldn’t wait.

  Upon entering, Aunt Penny immediately plopped down in the receptionist chair and joyfully proclaimed, “I’m the receptionist now!”

  “Does that mean I have to pay you?” Alice asked.

  “Yes! Match my hospital salary and I’m yours.”

  “Sheesh. I could never come close to that. I could pay you with gas points from the Stop & Plop, though. How would that be?”

  “Hmm…” Aunt Penny made a show of considering Alice’s stellar offer. “Much as I cherish Stop & Plop gas… I think I’ll have to pass.”

  “Shoot. And we were so close to a deal!”

  Aunt Penny laughed.

  Alice smiled and made her way into her office where she pulled out her laptop. “Eh, you’d never leave the hospital anyway, Aunt Penny,” she continued. “You’re practically married to that place.”

  “I dunno, kiddo. I might surprise you one day.”

  That did surprise Alice. She made her way back to the office door. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, fifty is barreling down on me kinda fast. And I’m tired and have seen so much. It never ends. Ever.”

  “But you help so many people. Every day. You make a difference in the world. That’s gotta count for something.”

  “It counts for a lot,” Aunt Penny agreed. “But it still wears on me. I’m not in crisis mode or anything. I haven’t made any plans or ever seriously considered what I might do if I did leave the hospital. It’s just like I said. I’m a little tired.”

  Alice walked over to Aunt Penny and gave her a big hug.

  “You’re my hero, Aunt Penny. I’m so proud of you and everything you do to help so many people, and if you retired today and sat quietly in a chair for the next fifty years, you still would’ve done more with your life than most of us ever will.”

  Aunt Penny’s eyes teared up, and she playfully shoved Alice away. “No making me cry, kiddo. Isn’t that a rule?”

  “I think so, yes.”

  “Sheesh. Don’t you have a murder to solve?” Aunt Penny returned to her seat behind the receptionist desk and looked back up at Alice.

  “I do, yes.”

  “Get to it, then. I’m just gonna sit here and… recept?”

  “Receive?” Alice countered.

  “Intake.”

  “Sure. Intake my hordes of customers.” Alice smirked.

  “All the hordes.” Aunt Penny winked.

  Alice turned to head back to the office.

  “And your father’s right,” Aunt Penny said softly. “He’s told me this before, and I have to agree. You are the sweetest person in the world.”

  “Maybe,” Alice said without turning around. “But I’m not a hero like you.”

  Alice sat down at her desk with a smile, turning her laptop on. She really loved having Aunt Penny around. She was so many things to Alice. A mother figure, a mentor, a hero, and a friend. She could break into a wise-old advice lady and then just as easily melt into silly juvenile giggles.

  Then, suddenly, Aunt Penny was screaming.

  “Aunt Penny!” Alice yelled, running out to her. “What is it?”

  Aunt Penny was staring out through the front door, pointing. “Alice,” she whispered. “There’s someone at the door. Just… just staring in at me!”

  Alice exhaled deeply and made her way for the door. She opened it and held it open. “Danny. Please just come in. You scare people half to death when you just stand outside like that.”

  Danny, holding a large brown bag, moved around Alice into the reception area, never taking his eyes off Aunt Penny. “Who is she?” he asked, pointing.

  “What? ‘Who is she?’” Aunt Penny asked, eyeing him back. “Who are you?”

  “Aunt Penny, this is Danny,” Alice butted in before things got too heated. “Danny, this is my Aunt Penny.”

  “Oh,” Danny said. “Okay. Is she your receptionist now?”

  “No. She’s just my aunt.” Alice turned to Aunt Penny. “Danny owns the comic book store next door.”

  “Awesome Stuff,” Danny said. “That’s, uh, the name of my store.”

  “Is that so?” Aunt Penny intoned, still sizing him up. She moved from around the desk and offered her hand to Danny, who kept backing away until he bumped into the filing cabinet against the wall. Some loose paperwork began fluttering around from the impact, and Danny clumsily tried to collect it all.

  Aunt Penny looked over at Alice, confused. Alice leaned over and whispered into her ear, “He’s okay. Just a little awkward. But he’s harmless. We’re friends.”

  Danny finished returning the papers to the top of the filing cabinet, then adjusted the brown paper bag in his hands. The bottom looked alarmingly wet, but he didn’t seem to mind it. “You haven’t been here for two days, Alice. I was worried.”

  “Just had a rough couple of days, Danny. No need to worry.”

  “Oh. Everything okay now?”

  “Yup, everything’s fine.”

  “Because you were late today. You’re usually here before 9:00. So I was worried.”

  “Jeez, are you stalking her or something?” Aunt Penny asked, not noticing the look Alice shot her.

  “W-what?” Danny stammered, a look of horror suddenly crossing his face. “No! I would never—”

  Alice threw him a bone. “It’s okay, Danny. Aunt Penny just worries about me. So I guess you both have that in common?”

  Aunt Penny nodded, offering her hand again. “Well. Alice says you are friends, so I guess you must be okay.”

  Danny gave her hand an awkward shake, a weird smile struggling to form on his face. He turned his attention back to Alice and offered her the bag he was holding. The wet bottom looked like it was about to break.

  “I got you some shrimp.”

  Alice took a moment to register the odd gift. “Oh, uh… Danny, that’s so sweet. You didn’t have to do that…”

  “You like shrimp?”

  That was a silly question to ask a New Shrimpton resident. “Of course I do!” Alice replied. “Thanks.”

  “Danny,” Aunt Penny said. “Did you just go to the beach and scoop up some shrimp into that brown paper bag?”

  “Yes,” he admitted.

  “And did you leave the shrimp in water?”

  “You have to keep them a little wet. You know, to keep them alive.”

  Alice never heard that one before. She lifted the bag up over her head to get a better look at the bottom. There was a long dramatic pause as everyone in the room stared and wondered exactly when the bag would rupture. She wondered if she had time to get it into the bathroom sink…

  And that was when it burst, with Alice narrowly avoiding the sudden downpour of shrimp and sea water.

  “Oh!” Danny cried. “Jeez, Alice. I’m sorry! All I had was the brown bag. I thought it’d hold.”

  “No worries, Danny,” Alice said, already scooping up the loose shrimp. “I’ve got a little fridge in the back and I’m sure I’ve got some sort of Tupperware around here somewhere. They’ll keep.”

  “Okay then. Sorry,” he said. He seemed to have had as much awkwardness as he could handle for the morning and was backing away toward the door. “Gotta get over to the store.”

  “Nice to meet you, Danny,” Aunt Penny called after him.

  “Um, you too… Aunt Penny? Or
, uh, is it just Penny?”

  Aunt Penny merely shrugged, not making it any easier on the poor kid.

  “Thanks again for the shrimp, Danny!” Alice called.

  Just as he was almost out the door, Aunt Penny called him back, a mischievous look on her face. “Danny! Hey, Danny!”

  “Yes?” he asked, peeking his head back in.

  “Batman or Superman?”

  “Wh-what?” He immediately stepped back into the office.

  Alice looked at Aunt Penny. “Don’t be mean,” she whispered.

  Aunt Penny looked offended. “I’m not being remotely mean! He owns a comic book store, right? Well, I want to know what he thinks.” She turned back to Danny. “Which is it? Batman or Superman?”

  Danny looked at her and considered his answer carefully. “Well. Batman is cool. I love Batman as much as the next guy. He’s dark and brooding, grim and gritty, and willing to go places Superman can’t. Morally, he’ll cross the line. He’ll never use a gun or kill but, other than that, pretty much anything goes.”

  Aunt Penny nodded, following him so far.

  “Superman, on the other hand, is held to a higher standard. He holds himself to a higher standard. A lot of people think he’s boring and too powerful. They think that makes him less interesting. The power and the ‘boy scout’ reputation… He’s just not as cool as Batman.”

  “That’s kinda how I always thought.”

  Danny continued, “But that’s why you need Superman. He’s the heroic ideal. The yardstick by which all other superheroes are measured. You need a guy like that at the top. Someone truly good and truly heroic to lead by example. Without him everyone else is just… less than, somehow. Without him, everything is chaos.”

  Aunt Penny examined Danny with her mouth wide open. Alice smiled.

  “Very cool, Danny,” Alice said. “I agree. I’m team Superman.”

  He smiled and Alice thought it might have been the purest smile she had ever seen. He turned to leave again, then stopped and, glancing over his shoulder, an ear-to-ear smile still on his face, said, “But the real answer to your question is Spider-Man. Every time.”

  Then he left, a virtual mic drop resonating throughout the office.

  Alice and Aunt Penny laughed heartily and, as Aunt Penny had earlier insisted, it wasn’t a mean laugh at all.

  “I like him,” Aunt Penny said.

  “Me too,” Alice agreed. “I’ll tell you his full story one day.”

  “And he’s kinda cute.”

  “Aunt Penny!” Alice shouted, a shocked smile on her face.

  “What? He is!”

  “He’s a year younger than me!”

  Aunt Penny crossed her arms. “I said he’s cute, not that I want to marry him. Besides… Maybe I meant he was cute for you?”

  “No, I don’t think so,” Alice said. “I think friends are as far as it will ever go with Danny.”

  “You wait. He’s a late bloomer, but once he does bloom…”

  “And we’ll still just be friends. Sorry.”

  “Well, okay then. Guess that just leaves less competition for me.”

  “Seriously, Aunt Penny.” Alice rolled her eyes. “Will you forget about that and help me gather all these shrimp before they die?”

  Aunt Penny smiled, kneeling down to help.

  18

  Alice spent the rest of the morning at her desk, organizing her thoughts on the case.

  What do I know? she asked herself.

  Not much, she decided.

  Janet Lombardi had been murdered. She was sure of it now, confident Janet’s spirit had successfully communicated that to her.

  But who killed her? Who had a motive? And how? Poison still seemed the most likely culprit. Why else would a healthy woman’s heart stop all of a sudden? Alice knew she’d have to dive deep down the rabbit hole of poison research, much deeper than her initial Internet searches had taken her.

  The toxicology report had come back negative for poison. But there had to be undetectable poisons, right? Just how reliable had Dr. Dombrowski’s tests been?

  And what about suspects? How many more people in Janet’s life would she need to set up interviews with? So far her sole interview trip had been to Dr. Dalton’s Real Estate. Two people.

  But what about Dr. Dalton? Why did he get so upset when Alice had only asked him the simplest of questions? She had the impression, on her own and from speaking with Able Johnstone, that Dr. Dalton was a generally unpleasant fellow. But was that enough to suspect him of murder?

  There was a knock on her office door. Alice looked up as Aunt Penny entered the room.

  “Miss Munroe?” she said, trying to hide her glee at continuing her masquerade as the doting receptionist. “There’s someone here to see you.”

  Aunt Penny stepped aside and a chill shot down Alice’s spine. Standing behind Aunt Penny was Dr. Dalton.

  Speak of the devil.

  “Oh,” was all Alice could manage.

  Aunt Penny immediately sensed her niece’s trepidation. She held up her hand in front of Dr. Dalton’s rotund face, stopping him in his tracks as he started to enter the office.

  “Ex-cuse me?” he said, his thin lips snarled in outrage, while his face turned lobster red. Apparently he was not used to hands in his face.

  “Should I have him schedule an appointment?” Aunt Penny asked, her unwavering hand still in his face.

  Alice quickly collected herself. “No, of course not.” She moved around her desk, walking toward Dr. Dalton with her hand outstretched. Aunt Penny lowered her hand and stepped aside.

  “Dr. Dalton. Good to see you again,” Alice said. He took her hand and, unlike their first meeting, there was more force behind the handshake. Nothing to sell this time, she guessed, so why bother pretending he didn’t get off on intimidation?

  She pulled her hand away. “Please, come in.”

  Dr. Dalton glared at Aunt Penny as he passed.

  “Miss Munroe?” Aunt Penny asked, a look of concern on her face. “Do you need me to sit in and… take dictation?”

  “That won’t be necessary, Mrs… Crabtree. Thank you.”

  Aunt Penny frowned and smirked, not impressed with the creativity of Alice’s fake name for her. “Okay. I’ll be at my desk if you need anything.”

  “Of course,” Alice replied.

  She shut the door and, motioning for Dr. Dalton to join her, sat down.

  He slowly sat down in the chair opposite her desk, then looked up. “Mrs. Crabtree?” he asked. “Do you think I’m stupid, young lady?”

  “What?” Alice said. “No, not at—”

  “Are you mocking me?”

  To her surprise, Alice found she was intimidated. And she didn’t like it. Just another indication she was off her game.

  She inhaled deeply, trying her best to find anything close to the calmness she usually carried with her.

  “What can I do for you, Mr. Dalton?” she asked, purposefully leaving off his fake “doctor” title in a feeble attempt at leveling the playing field.

  He glared at her for a long moment. Alice steeled herself against the look, maintaining eye contact while conjuring up a polite smile. Eventually she either wore him down or he got bored with his own attempt at flexing and decided to speak up.

  “I wanted to know how your investigation was progressing,” he answered gruffly.

  “I’m not really at liberty to discuss that. I work for Mr. Lombardi and any details of the case are between—”

  “Nonsense,” he interrupted.

  “Excuse—”

  “This isn’t some issue of national security, young lady. You’re a small time ‘private eye’ in a tiny office whose sole credentials involve tracking down missing puppies and kittens.” There was real annoyance behind his words for some reason.

  He continued, “The idea that Janet—err—Mrs. Lombardi was murdered… Well, I think I have a right to know if she was.”

  “And what right is that?” Alice asked.<
br />
  “I was her boss. I think that gives me all the right you need to worry about.” His hands gripped the chair arms, as if he was holding something back.

  Alice shook her head and leaned back in her chair. She was getting angry and found it relieving. Unlike grouchy Gretchen, this guy was in her space, so she had every right to tell him off, a right she was very eager to exercise.

  “Mister Dalton. When I came into your office, I showed you nothing but the utmost respect. Now you’ve come into mine and you’ve been nothing but rude and ill-mannered. If you can’t show me the same level of respect that I’ve shown you, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” She pointed at the door to add emphasis to her demand.

  His eyes grew wide at that and he smirked. Alice couldn’t read his expression, which she found very troubling.

  “Look,” he said, calmly but without apologizing, his face slowly returning to his normal pasty shade. “I’ve known Janet Lombardi for almost a decade. She came to work for me when she was only dating that… when she had only started dating Mr. Lombardi. I cared about her. Her death has been very difficult for me. Whatever else you might think about me, Miss Munroe, I did care about her.” His eyes finally lost the angry squint he had been wearing since he entered her office.

  “I believe you. And even though it’s not a matter of ‘national security,’ I’m still serious about the confidentiality agreement I have with Mr. Lombardi. If it had been you who hired me, I’m sure you’d expect the same consideration.”

  His lips parted and Alice could practically feel an insult fighting to escape his mouth. He probably wanted to say something along the lines of “I’d never hire you,” but somehow he found the strength to restrain himself.

  “Of course,” he said instead. “Well, is there anything you can tell me?”

  “Only that I’m taking this case very seriously and working very hard to find the truth.”

  “That’s not much.” He frowned in disappointment.

  “Well, it might help if you’d answer some questions, and give me some background. You say you’ve known her for ten years—”

  “I didn’t come here to be questioned, Miss Munroe,” he interrupted. He seemed to enjoy interrupting her. “I came to ask the questions.”