Hayden,
I know what you just did. Why? Why would you destroy a perfectly good relationship for that tramp? Lily? She doesn't love you like you love her. She hooked up with Wes. Think about that. Drunk or not, I think she still knew what she was doing was wrong. That is if she even did have any feelings towards you. You've just destroyed your whole life for this girl that doesn't even care for you. Now what are you going to do?
Again, there was no name to indicate who wrote it. It was just mocking black words on a white piece of paper.
Ch. 18
Everything was spiraling out of control. Hayden was constantly getting these taunting notes, as was Lily but neither one knew that the other was getting these notes too.
At this point, neither one knew what to do or who to believe. Anyone on this bus could be writing these mysterious notes to them. Lily began to make it a point not to talk to or even look at Hayden. She was afraid of this person tearing their relationship apart.
Strangely, whoever was writing these little notes was leaving them quite conveniently. When Hayden wasn't on the bus, Lily would find a note. When Lily wasn't on the bus, Hayden would find a note. It was a constant mind game.
Hayden,
Don't you see what she's doing to you? She's got you on a leash. She got you to break up with Juliet for her and now she won't talk to you or even look at you. Coincidence? I don't think so. She had this whole thing planned out.
Hayden was beginning to get real frustrated with this whole thing. He knew it couldn't be Lily or any of the guys. Why would any of the guys do something like that to him? They wouldn't. He had absolutely no leads on who the secret non-admirer could be but he was determined to get to the bottom of this.
Lily was afraid to leave her bunk. She was afraid that if she left, there would be another note waiting for her when she got back with the cruel, cold, black words on that bland, blank, white piece of paper. She was afraid that if she did anything, made any slight movement, or any sound at all, it would be used against her.
It got to the point where she was so paranoid, she couldn't take it any longer. She had to go. She had to leave and go back home. Or at least rent out an apartment in LA until Hayden was done with tour.
After she packed her things, she wrote a note to leave for him.
Hayden,
I'm sorry, but I just can't do this any longer. I guess the tour life is too hard for me. I'm going to rent out an apartment in LA and wait for you there until the tour is over. We can start back up where we left off here when you return. I do love you with all my heart and I'll miss you until you get back.
Love,
Lily
She put the pen down on the kitchen counter and folded the note up. She walked back into the bunk area and placed the note on Hayden's pillow. She turned around to her own bunk and pulled back the curtain to grab her bags. Sitting there on the pillow was another note.
Her eyes widened and she extended a shaky hand, picking up the note. She looked around the bus to see if there was anyone else there. The last time she had checked, she was the only one on the bus and there had not been a note there before everyone else left.
Lily,
You haven't talked to me in what feels like forever. I don't understand but if this is what you want, I'll support you in that. If you no longer want anything to do with me, that's okay. I only want you to be happy. If this is what makes you happy, I'm happy for you. I know you never knew this but I've always loved you. From the day we stumbled across each other in the woods, you're the only person I've ever thought about all the time. But you've made it clear with your silence that this is what you want. So I guess this is goodbye.
-Hayden
Ch. 19
"That was awesome guys!" Hayden exclaimed as the band made their way back to the bus. "I can't wait to tell Lily all about it. I wish she had gone with us..."
"Well, she said she wasn't feeling well, so..." Tate trailed off.
"I hope she's feeling better now." Hayden said, attempting to brighten the conversation a bit. He was the first one to enter the bus and he called out to Lily. "Lily? We're back!" No response. "Lily?"
"Her bunk is empty..." Wes said. "Everything's gone."
Hayden's mind began reeling with thoughts and overflowed with emotions. Just the thought of her leaving him without the slightest hint or small goodbye was enough to break his heart down the middle.
"No," He refused to believe it. "What do you mean gone? She can't be gone. I did everything for her. I thought..." He stopped himself. Tears began to choke him as the forced their way down his cheeks. He quickly wiped away his tears and took a deep breath. "I'm going to get her back."
It was a quick decision. He wasn't even sure where she could have gone but that didn't matter to him. He was going to let fate decide if he was supposed to find her or not. He hopped in the first cab that stopped for him when he got out to the main road. "Nearest airport." He ordered. "And step on it."
It was like a scene out of a movie. The guy racing to find the girl so he could profess his love to her and get her to stay with him. He just had to hope that like in all the movies, he wasn't too late.
The cab didn't even get a chance to stop before he was pushing the door open and throwing himself onto the sidewalk. He ran through crowds of people, getting his name shouted at by a couple fans who recognized him. But he had no time to stop and say hi to them. He had to find Lily. He wasn't even sure if this was the right airport but he had a feeling that she was here.
He forced his way through one last large crowd of people and saw her standing at the entrance to the tunnel, about to leave his life forever.
"Lily, wait!" He ran towards her.
She turned to see him running towards her. Now her mind was reeling and overflowing with emotions. "Hayden, what are you doing here?"
"I came to find you. You can't leave me. I did everything for you. I thought this was going to be our chance to finally be together like we always wanted." Hayden pleaded and begged her to stay with him.
Lily looked confused. "Stay with you? I thought you wanted me to leave. Your note said it all." She held up the note to him.
He took the note from her and began to read it. As he scanned the words on the page, he immediately recognized his hand writing but knew he didn't write this to her for the reason she thinks.
"Lily, I wrote this to you six years ago." Hayden explained. "This was my final goodbye letter to you when you didn't write back to me. You're telling me you just got it now?"
Lily nodded. "It was on my pillow... Like the other notes you were leaving for me."
"Other notes?" He asked. "I never left you any other notes. I never left you this one. I thought I sent this one to you all those years ago."
"But I thought—" She stopped herself. "I thought that this final goodbye letter was you revealing yourself as the person who was writing me all those horrible notes."
"You were getting those notes, too?" He asked.
"What?" Now none of this was making any sense. "You mean—"
"Someone's been messing with our lives." Hayden cut her off. "And I'm not going to rest until I find out who it is."
Ch. 20
It was all just a matter of time before everything went crazy again. Just because Lily wasn't leaving and Hayden was happy didn't mean the mysterious writer was going to go unnoticed. The mystery person made sure they were heard loud and clear. But what they did next was about to cross the line.
When Hayden went to bed that night, he found yet another surprise waiting for him in his bunk. But this time, the note was signed and dated.
4-25-06
Hayden,
I'm so glad all is going well with you in LA. I'm happy to hear about your new album and I can't wait until it's released so I can hear it. I'm sure you boys are getting better and better each day. I do think of you often and I wish I had been able to tag along. Maybe after high school is over in a few more months I
can come and visit. And maybe after college I can move there and be with you again. I feel like such a bitch for not going with you when you asked me. It's just, I couldn't leave here. I really wanted to finish high school and maybe go to college. But I'm glad you're living your dream and that we're still able to stay in contact. I like writing notes to each other. It feels much more intimate. Anyway, I hope you will write to me soon. If you need, take your time. I understand you get busy. I'll never get too busy for you.
I love you.
-Lily
A tear escaped the corner of his eye and rolled down is cheek, splattering against the thin piece of paper and making some of the letters on the page begin to run. She did write back to him. This was the letter he had never received.
He brushed away his tears and took a deep breath to calm his emotions and his racing nerves. He folded the paper back up and opened the curtain to his bunk. He didn't care if Lily was asleep yet or not. He had to figure out what was going on right this second.
——
When Lily went to sleep that night, the same thing happened to her. But her letter was from Hayden and it was dated all the way back to 2006 as well.
4-19-06
Lily,
I know I just sent you a letter a few days ago but I couldn't wait to tell you what happened to us today! We booked our first U.S. Tour! And we'll be stopping in Ohio! You can come and see us! Isn't that great? I can send you tickets so you don't have to pay, if you would like that. I'm super stoked and I really hope we can maybe hang out for a few hours while I'm there. I really miss you a lot. I miss your eyes. And your smile. Your smile is my favorite physical feature of yours. But I have to go now. The guys need me to record some more stuff. I hope you will write back to me soon. I know you must be getting busy with preparing for college and graduation and everything. I really wish I could be there for your graduation and I wish I hadn't left you at all. I would have asked you to go to prom with me and I know it would have been the best night of our lives.
I love you so much.
-Hayden
"Lily?" Hayden asked from the other side of the curtain.
"Yeah?" She asked with her tiny voice and pulled back the curtain so he could sit down next to her.
He handed her the note. "I found this in my bed."
She opened it and began to scan the words on the page. She looked up at him with wide eyes. "This is my note to you. The one you never got."
He nodded. "Yeah, I know..."
She handed him her note. He proceeded to copy her previous actions and looked up at her.
"My note..." He trailed off. She nodded.
"So it's true. We never stopped writing to each other. And someone took our notes." Lily confirmed even though it was already obvious to both what was going on. She just needed the reassurance of speaking the words out loud and listening to how they sounded.
"Who do you think could have done this?" Hayden asked and Lily shrugged.
From behind them, there were a couple heavy footsteps that caused the floor boards to creak. A male voice followed saying "I did."
Ch. 21
At the sight of the mystery writer, Hayden's mind was reeling with questions. "First of all, how? How could you have possibly pulled this all off when you were with me and the rest of the guys all the time?"
"Think, Hayden. Think back to the very last letter you wrote. What did you do with it?" He asked.
"Hey, Tate. You think you could mail this letter for me? I have to go in to the studio for some vocal recording." Hayden held out the letter addressed to Lily for Tate to take.
"Yeah, I can do that for you. I'll be over a little later to work on some bass parts for Surrender. That cool?" Tate took the letter into his hands and smiled at Hayden. Unfortunately, Hayden had no idea what Tate was going to do next.
"Yeah, that's cool. I'll see you then." Hayden turned to leave but then stopped. "Hey, thanks. You're a real great friend, you know?"
Tate felt a pang of guilt at his words but let it melt away as he smiled and said "Thanks. You're a great friend, too, Hayden."
"But why, Tate? What did she ever do to you to deserve this? What did I ever do to deserve this? I've only ever been nice to you since we moved here. I thought..." Hayden trailed off.
"Hayden, she was getting in the way of the band. You were starting to get so focused on writing the letters to her instead of working to get this album out. We had to push the release date back three times because the vocals still weren't done. Everyone else got their part done on time except for you." Tate explained. "Trust me, seeing you upset was hard but it was all for the best."
Hayden shook his head. "You're wrong, Tate. It wasn't 'all for the best'. You put us both through emotional trauma. You even dragged Juliet into all this. I'm never going to understand why you had to put all of us through all that. You could have just told me that you thought I was becoming distant from the band."
Tate shrugged. "I don't know what to say, Hayden. I just thought that taking the letters would make all of this go away. And when it didn't, I was too scared to come out and tell you the truth... So I just kept it up..."
Hayden shook his head again but didn't say anything else. He stormed off the bus and outside into the warm night air. He leaned up against the cool metal of the bus and slipped a cigarette out of his pack. He placed the stick between his perfectly shaped pink lips and struck the lighter, cupping the air around the cigarette to light it. He sucked in a large amount of smoke into his lungs and let the nicotine and tobacco calm his raging nerves.
"Hey," A voice startled him as someone reached into his pocket and grabbed the cigarette pack. Lily lit her own cigarette and took a deep drag before giving him back his pack. "So, what are you going to do about Tate, now?"
Hayden looked down at the pavement. "I have no idea. There's only a week left of tour. I guess I'm just going to have to live with it until we can go back to LA and deal with it then."
Lily nodded. "I'm not mad at him, you know."
Tate looked at her, shocked. "You're not?"
Lily shook her head. "Nope. I actually should be thanking him for doing all this. Because, I don't think you and I would be as close as we are right now if it weren't for everything he put us through. Just think: do you really think that you and I would be together right now like we are if we never had that break? I think that break was something we both needed to sort things out and really think about what we both wanted. We were only sixteen, then. Now we're twenty-two. I think we now know what love really is and I think now we can fulfill a meaningful relationship."
Hayden took it all in. "I guess you're right. But he still had no right to mess with my mind and your mind like that."
Lily shrugged. "Yeah, I guess you're right. But I'm not mad at him. You can be, but just don't stay mad at him for very long. He's your friend, after all."
Lily had a point. It seemed Lily always knew exactly what to say. It was going to take Hayden a while, but he knew he would somehow manage to forgive Tate. In the end, everything was going to be alright.
END
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