Born in Light

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Born in Light Page 23

by Kim ten Tusscher


  Pavel staggered to his feet and dragged Lilith up. “Lord Yvar should have killed you. You bring nothing but misery.” His fist hit her jaw.

  Lilith clenched her fists. Even before she could take a swing, she doubled up with pain. Pavel dropped her and kicked her. Lilith curled up into a ball and protected her head. She had learned to do that from all of the times that Kasimirh had beaten her up. Just like then, she couldn’t defend herself now. The wristband sent excruciating pain through her body.

  34

  Ferhdessar swept the pawns off the map and paced up and down the tent. Everyone was deathly quiet. The messenger who had brought the bad news stood beside the table with his head down.

  “How could this have happened?!” Ferhdessar bellowed. He crumpled Branko’s message into a ball and hurled it away.

  Eoghan’s legion had been defeated and Zuzeca had left Nadesh. Branko had foreseen Zander being surrounded and asked for permission to come to the aid of Zander’s legion. Wolter scribbled something on a piece of paper and sent the messenger off again.

  Ferhdessar returned to the map. “Why did Eoghan split up his troops to help Zander?” he mumbled. “Look what happened!”

  Wolter placed the pawns back on the map. According to the messages, Branko’s soldiers weren’t where Ferhdessar had sent them either. Ferhdessar sat down and hid his head in his hands. “What a mess.”

  Another messenger entered. Ferhdessar snatched the paper from his hands. Wolter gave him a questioning look.

  “Kiril reports of a small victory over Tokala’s left flank,” Ferhdessar said. “That’s at least one legion that’s in the right spot, but what’s the use now that the entire battlefield has changed?”

  “We’ll have to reconsider our plans,” Wolter said. He put down a pawn on the spot where Zuzeca had deployed his army and regarded the map for a long time. Now and again he squinted and pointed at a pawn, as if he was mentally moving it across the map.

  Ferhdessar felt empty. This was his territory, but still he was slowly losing control of the situation. Or had he already lost it? Hundreds of soldiers had been killed, with the number of wounded soldiers many times larger. If the healeresses hadn’t helped them, thousands of soldiers wouldn’t have been able to fight any more. He hadn’t even counted the ones missing in action. They could have been taken captive or they might have fled. Or maybe they were lying dead somewhere in a brook or a river, slaughtered by the servi.

  Ferhdessar jolted upright when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He suddenly felt less tired. Afifa looked at him. “It isn’t a lost cause just yet,” she said. Have Az-Zhara join Zander’s army. He has proven his willingness to fight. If Lilith notices that her boyfriend is in danger, she won’t hold back.”

  Ferhdessar shook his head. “Don’t count on Lilith. She will never fight for me.”

  He leaned over the map. The pawns morphed into the armies. At Zander’s location a red stain spread out across the parchment. Zuzeca and Tokala combined their armies and together they marched to the camp where Ferhdessar was hiding.

  Ferhdessar closed his eyes, but the image didn’t disappear. He sought support from the table when he saw the rocks that Nadesh was built on collapse. The dying screams of the Merzians sounded ever louder in his ears.

  “Ferhdessar?” Wolter said softly.

  Ferhdessar opened his eyes.

  “Kiril can attack Tokala’s flank and we take Zuzeca’s flank.” Wolter moved two pawns.

  Ferhdessar didn’t look at the map. “Give the orders,” he said.

  He turned around and left the tent. Wolter called after him, but Ferhdessar didn’t respond. Wigg had told Ferhdessar that he had the power in his hands. Now that Merzia was about to be defeated, it was time for him to use that power.

  “Kasimirh, I’m waiting for you,” he whispered. His bodyguards joined him, but he pushed them away with magic. Ferhdessar disappeared into the darkness.

  Ferhdessar was scattering ashes in the shape of a circle.

  “You’re making a mistake.”

  Afifa approached. Ferhdessar pushed her aside and placed a flint stone on the east side of the circle.

  “You’re only putting Merzia in more danger!” She grabbed him by the arm. “Listen to me!”

  Ferhdessar lashed out at her. “Why should I listen to you? Merzia is already lost. Eoghan shouldn’t have split up his army to help Zander. He betrayed us. Zander won’t hold his ground. Tokala and Zuzeca will march on our camp together, but I’m not going to wait in my tent for the inevitable outcome. I will defeat Kasimirh. That’s what I’ll be remembered for.”

  “The battle has been going on too long. It won’t stop once Kasimirh is dead. Tokala will take his place. You’re not saving Merzia this way.”

  Ferhdessar turned around and walked to the north, where he laid down a second stone, followed by the third and fourth on the west and south sides of the circle. Then he turned around to face Afifa. “What you and I fought for is in the past.”

  Afifa stared at him for a few seconds. She shook her head. “You’ve lost your mind. Maybe it’s for the best that we have to continue the fight without you.” Shaking her head, she left the circle.

  “I won’t die,” Ferhdessar called after her. “As of today, Kasimirh will be keeping his God company.”

  “Do you really think that?”

  Ferhdessar turned around. Kasimirh was standing in front of him. Ferhdessar conjured the magic he had been practising on for weeks. Fire spurted out of the ashes. Kasimirh recoiled, but quickly pulled himself together. They were surrounded by flames.

  “This fight is in vain, Ferhdessar. You can’t possibly win.” Kasimirh was casually leaning on his staff. The fire was reflected in its gold embellishments. The dragon on top of the sphere seemed alive.

  “I will defeat you,” Ferhdessar growled. The heat of the fire boosted his power. He waved his arm and launched a fireball at Kasimirh. Flames from the wall enlarged it. Kasimirh defended himself, but had to take a few steps back when the ball hit his shield. Ferhdessar immediately launched a second fireball. The wall grew higher, and the flames blazed brighter.

  “That woman was right just now. You have lost your mind.” Kasimirh shook his head in pity. “How do you think Jakob will react when his prophet is dead? You want to write history? When you kill me, there’ll be nobody left to record your actions.”

  Kasimirh whispered something. Clouds gathered over his head. It started to rain. Most of the raindrops vaporized before they reached the ground.

  Ferhdessar laughed. “Do you think that I can’t stand a bit of water?”

  A small gesture of Kasimirh’s hand increased the intensity of the rain. The drops racked Ferhdessar’s hands and face, as if they were razor-sharp pins.

  Ferhdessar launched two fireballs at once, followed by a new incantation. There was a flash of lightning between the clouds. The next flash found its way down and struck the ground. Kasimirh jumped aside. He was hidden from view by the resulting steam.

  “Why won’t you fight?” Ferhdessar yelled. He walked around in search of Kasimirh. He was holding magic ready in his hand. Ferhdessar vigorously wiped the rain out of his eyes. His soaking-wet clothes clung to his body, hampering his movements. “Answer me!”

  Then he saw his enemy. Rain ran down the shield that he had erected. The magic that Kasimirh had used wasn’t very powerful.

  Ferhdessar increased his magic. The howling of the fire drowned out the clatter of the pouring rain. Lightning struck loudly, and tongues of fire from the wall of flames lashed out at Kasimirh. The ground shook.

  Ferhdessar doubled over. The attack had cost him a lot of energy, but he had surely won, there was no doubt about that. The battle was over.

  The fire calmed down. Behind the flames he saw the shapes of the soldiers who had gathered. The steam blocked Ferhdessar’s view, but when it lifted he saw Kasimirh’s lifeless body. The prophet was lying with his back towards Ferhdessar in a puddle of water.

&nb
sp; “It’s a shame that it had to end this way, Kasimirh. You were so close, but you failed,” Ferhdessar said gasping for air.

  He walked slowly towards Kasimirh as he unsheathed his sword. Ferhdessar’s laughter grew louder. He looked down on the prophet and placed his foot on Kasimirh’s shoulder, making him turn onto his back.

  “Wigg, I have a sacrifice for You!”

  Ferhdessar was smashed to the ground. The sword landed out of his reach. Kasimirh crawled to his feet. He pushed Ferhdessar against the ground with magic, and with his other hand he made agonizingly slow movements to turn the rain into a whirlpool over Ferhdessar’s head. “So, where’s Wigg? Where are all those other Gods that you pray to on a daily basis?” Kasimirh looked around. “You’re on your own, Ferhdessar.”

  Kasimirh lowered his hand. The water came pouring down in a continuous stream onto Ferhdessar’s face. With every breath he inhaled water. He wanted to fight back, but he was too weak because of all the magic he had used.

  “Why don’t you understand that water is stronger than fire?” Kasimirh yelled. “It’s Jakob’s gift. It’s stronger than anything in this world.”

  The intensity of the rain increased. There was no air left to breathe, only water. Ferhdessar wanted to spit out the water, but he couldn’t. He wanted to swallow it, but he couldn’t drink fast enough.

  Kasimirh laughed. “Drink some more, because where you’re going, there won’t be any water.”

  35

  A bustle of noises drove away Lilith’s nightmares. She slowly managed to discern between the moaning and the screaming. Then a female voice drowned out all the other sounds. Lilith recognized the head nurse’s voice. But that wasn’t what had awoken her. Someone had called her name.

  Lilith opened her eyes. She was lying on a blanket on the floor in the corner of the tent. A soldier was standing before her. She could tell by the man’s boots.

  Lilith sat up. She stretched before she looked up at the soldier. She recognized him. He was a wolf shifter who normally hung around Kiril.

  “The general wants to talk to you,” he said.

  Yawning, Lilith got to her feet. She had only slept for a couple of hours. She followed the soldier making her way through the casualties. She had no choice but to step over the wounded soldiers. Every space in the tent was occupied.

  Outside, the camp was a lot quieter. There were only a few soldiers sitting around the campfires. They looked tired and were eating their food in silence. From the distance came the sound of the battle that had resumed at daybreak.

  Kiril received Lilith alone. He motioned her to sit down on a chair. When Lilith was seated he looked at her wrists.

  “You can take off the wristbands,” he said.

  Only now did Lilith notice that they were hanging loosely around her arms. She took them off and laid them on the table.

  “Ferhdessar is dead,” Kiril explained. “Last night he challenged Kasimirh and lost.”

  Lilith tried to hide her smile behind her hand. Ferhdessar’s death meant one less sorcerer to worry about.

  “Ferhdessar’s camp was overrun by the Jakobinians. General Wolter is dead and so is Eoghan. Zander is surrounded and won’t last much longer. That leaves only me and Branko, and a small army.”

  “Why are you telling me this?” Lilith asked.

  “We can’t hold out much longer. Unless there’s a miracle, I’ll surrender tomorrow. Branko will follow my lead. We’ll advise our soldiers to convert themselves to Jakob. Although I’m not sure that it will save their lives.” He bent towards Lilith. “I know why you came to Nadesh. If you still want to fight Kasimirh, then now is the time to do it. If you’re still here when we surrender, you’ll be captured as well.”

  “I can’t imagine that you care about me.”

  “I haven’t forgotten what you did in Havv’n. You helped my troops to victory. The past few days you’ve been healing my soldiers. I bear you no hatred. But you’re also right. I’m not doing this just for you. I know that the war won’t end when Kasimirh is dead, but his death will increase our chances of survival. I’ve heard stories about Tokala. All things considered, he treats his prisoners of war well. Better than Kasimirh. I’m doing this for my soldiers.”

  Lilith sighed. “So now that the situation is hopeless, I get to put my life on the line for you.”

  “I don’t mean to use you, Lilith. But I know what you want and I know that you can give my soldiers a chance. However, I won’t force you to attack Kasimirh. Moreover, I’m setting you free, so that you can run and hopefully stay out of Kasimirh’s hands.” He pushed her amulet towards her.

  Lilith looked up in surprise. She smiled. “I’ll do what I came for. I’ll defeat him.”

  “I’m very grateful for everything that you’ve done,” Kiril said. “Az-Zhara is in this camp. I take it that you’d like to speak to him before you leave.”

  Lilith immediately jumped up. Kiril shook her hand. “Our hope lies in you, Lilith. I wish you the best of luck.”

  Lilith curtsied. Kiril’s words did her a world of good. Finally, the Merzians were allowing her to follow her own path.

  Outside she saw Nigesanla. Surrounded by four soldiers, she was being led to some horses. The saddlebags were packed, and it looked like she was going on a long journey.

  Nigesanla spotted her as well. She deliberated with Rogan and beckoned Lilith. Lilith looked to see if Az-Zhara was around before she walked up to Nigesanla.

  “Did you speak with general Kiril?” Nigesanla asked.

  Lilith nodded.

  “Suddenly everything has changed,” Nigesanla said elated. “We no longer have to fear Ferhdessar. I have high hopes for Merzia.” She mounted a horse and shook Lilith’s hand. “Kill Kasimirh. For us all. I know what my brother is like. With him as the ruler of the Jakobinians, and Ferhdessar gone, everything is possible again.”

  Lilith watched her as she rode away. Everything that had happened since she had woken up that morning seemed so surreal.

  “Ah, here you are.”

  Az-Zhara lifted Lilith up before she could turn around to face him. He kissed her neck and put her back on the ground.

  Lilith pinched her own arm and turned around. Az-Zhara was really standing before her. It wasn’t a dream. Nevertheless, she pinched her arm again. Harder this time. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

  “I’ve missed you,” she whispered.

  “So have I.” He brushed her hair back. “You look tired.”

  “I didn’t get much sleep the past few days. And in any case I don’t sleep too well.”

  “Do you still have those nightmares about hell?” Az-Zhara asked.

  Lilith nodded. “Jakob visits me there. He talks to me.”

  “Is He trying to stop you?”

  Lilith shrugged. “When you’re awake, it’s always so hard to understand the logic of dreams. Jakob tells me that I won’t be able to stop the prophet, even if I were to defeat Kasimirh. That doesn’t make any sense, now does it?”

  Az-Zhara shook his head.

  “It doesn’t really matter,” Lilith said. She smiled. “They’re only dreams.”

  “Let’s go for a walk,” Az-Zhara suggested.

  Lilith nodded. She put her hand through his arm and let Az-Zhara lead the way. Several soldiers followed her with their eyes, but nobody came after them. She rubbed her wrist. “You’re free,” she whispered.

  Az-Zhara looked at her. He smiled.

  “Do you believe in a God?” she asked.

  Az-Zhara shrugged. “I believe that there’s something, but I don’t exactly know what.”

  “Weren’t you brought up religiously?”

  “I was, but my parents didn’t make a big issue out of it. The Inuuk introduced me to the other Gods and then Margal came. I just don’t know what to believe, but I’m certain that there must be something.”

  Lilith nodded.

  “What about you?” Az-Zhara asked out of curiosity. “Is th
is one more thing that Kasimirh lied about to you, or does Jakob really exist?”

  Lilith averted her eyes. She bit her lip as she shook her head. “He didn’t lie. Jakob exists.”

  “In that case, I might have to consider Him as well,” Az-Zhara said casually.

  Lilith envied the fact that religion was still a choice for him—a choice that didn’t even really affect him.

  They reached the edge of the forest and looked out over the field where the battle had taken place. Large boulders lay where they had been flung. Broken spears were sticking out of the ground. The grass was trampled, and the soil stank of the blood it had absorbed.

  “I’m so glad that you’re unharmed,” said Lilith. She pressed her face against Az-Zhara’s arm and sniffed his scent. “I saw you fight.” She caressed the stumps on his hand. “I don’t really understand why you’re helping the Merzians. Why are they better than the Jakobinians?”

  “The Jakobinians attacked Merzia. But most of all, I hoped that with my help the Merzians would be able to defeat Kasimirh, so that you didn’t have to fight him.”

  “You’d give your life for me? You’ve only known me for such a short time.”

  “It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known someone. It’s about what you’ve been through together. Most couples need more than a lifetime to live through what we’ve endured together.”

  Lilith felt her cheeks grow warm. She smiled at him and kissed his upper arm.

  They stopped at the tree line. In the distance, Lilith saw Nadesh.

  “Kiril has released me,” she said.

  Az-Zhara nodded. “I spoke to him as well. He asked me why you came back to Nadesh.”

  Lilith looked at the rock pillars in the distance. “It’s time to meet Kasimirh again.”

  “I’m coming with you, Lilith,” Az-Zhara was staring at Nadesh as well.

  Lilith pressed her face against his shoulder. “I wish Almor were here.”

  Az-Zhara stroked her hair.

  “That silly plan that the three of us came up with, might even have worked. But in the present circumstances, I don’t think it’s wise to go stand in the middle of the battlefield and wait for Kasimirh to show himself.”

 

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