by Harper West
Tanner was quiet for a long time. "Yeah," he finally agreed. He gave me a sad smile. "But it'll be all right. Stuff like this happens."
I nodded. Once again, Tanner was right. "Since when are you the mother hen?"
Tanner laughed. "Since you decided to go around punching out assholes," he threw back. I laughed with him, genuinely, this time. “I mean... it looked badass."
"Did it?"
"Hell yeah," he said, shaking his head. "People are going to talk about it for a while."
We stared out over the courtyard, watching as groups of people made their way across the quad. Some of them held paper bags close to them, trying and failing to hide their alcohol. I smiled.
"Kyler didn't always wind you up like that, you know,” Tanner teased, shoving my shoulder. "You sure it was really just about him being an asshole?”
I stared at him blankly. “What else could it be?" I pressed the plastic cup to my face to again.
"Like, maybe…" His eyes shifted. "This is so fucking high school, it's hilarious." Tanner shook his head, smiled, and stared up at the sky for a second. He watched me, waiting for me to fill in the blanks with an expectant look.
"What are you talking about?" I demanded.
He chuckled, as if he knew something I didn't and I narrowed my eyes at him, which only made him laugh harder.
"You and Elizabeth, you idiot," he chortled.
"What about Elizabeth and me?"
"You can't be serious." He laid back on the grass with a deep sigh. "I can't believe I know before you do."
Had Elizabeth said something about me? Or was she transferring schools to get away from me? I doubted that Elizabeth would make such a rash decision like that, but panic was cancelling out logic.
"Know what?" I asked again, smacking at his side.
"Oh, I don't know..." he said, rolling his head back and forth on the grass like he was debating some wild, innovative idea. His eyes were still focused on the sky, but flickered to me as his voice drifted off. "Maybe that you're totally in love with her...?"
I snapped at Tanner. "What?"
He looked back at me but, kept quiet.
"No, I'm not." The idea of being in love with Elizabeth was ridiculous.
We'd grown closer while hanging out, sure, but we were just getting to know each other again. Mostly because our friends were dating.
"Elizabeth is great, but we're just friends."
Tanner nodded, but his expression told me that he didn't believe me. "Sure."
"We are!" I insisted, scratching at the back of my head. I thought about Elizabeth, with her dark hair falling over her shoulders as she read from a thick book. Every so often, she'd run her pointer finger under her nose to scratch an invisible itch. Her nose twitched like a bunny, making her glasses slip, and she promptly righted them. In my mind, she looked up from her book, saw me and smiled. It was a nice little fantasy.
Wait…
"Oh," I said finally, getting it.
"Yeah," Tanner chuckled.
12
Elizabeth
"...And this allows the attending physician a fuller range of motion as they ease the skin flap back into place. This greater sense of control over the skin flap also sets the physician up for a smoother connection between the original tissue and the…”
The guest lecturer continued to give his presentation on the basics of plastic surgery, but as I looked around, I realized that most of the students in the auditorium had already stopped paying attention.
I struggled as well. It had been a couple days since the drunken brawl, and Nathan had given me plenty of space to think about everything. But now, I was growing impatient. I needed to see him again, to know that we were okay.
My classmates continued to feign interest in the lecture, mostly out of politeness, but their eyes were glazed over. Guiltily, I tried to catch some of the final points, but ended up only writing down a few words that barely made sense.
He liked to lecture with big hand gestures. He'd point to the screen, and when he spoke about the main idea of a concept, he would bring his hands to the front of his chest in a circle. He would enunciate certain words as he spoke, gently bouncing as he did, so I would know to write them down and underline them. He had a slight Southern drawl that would drag out each of the longer As in some words. It was kind of charming, but didn’t make the lecture go any faster.
"This is precisely why we would use a suspension suture here, excellent point." The next slide showed a detailed, step-by-step visualization of the suspension sutures being used to adhere the skin flap to the existing tissue of the burn victim. I watched with wide eyes as the program presented the surgical field in a new perspective, the new angle clearly showed the fine lines between the tissue planes.
Now this was interesting.
"And, prepare yourselves. These are some photographs from these types of procedures. Some of these pictures are a little graphic.”
There was a collective gasp among some of the students as the lecturer flipped through the photographs of patients who had undergone this type of facial reconstruction procedure.
"Each of these physicians used this method to attach the skin flap along the hairline."
The picture changed to a dark-haired woman with a swollen face. She had a dark-purple shade along her hairline and underneath her chin as well as a few dark spots along her temples. The next picture showed her three weeks post-operation and she looked as if she'd never gone under the knife. "And, as you can see, it provides very clean lines and a smoother finish for the patient.”
He was right. It was incredible.
"Now, make sure you read through the rest of this chapter for Monday. It's only a few pages, so you should be able to work it into your Sunday brunch plans." The old man smiled, wrinkles appearing in the corners of his eyes. His white hair shone underneath the fluorescent lighting of the auditorium. "And please don't forget to turn in your journal entries tomorrow night before midnight. Don't get a zero on an easy assignment!" His voice echoed, louder than the noise of the students as they collected their belongings.
As I gathered my own things and stood up from my seat, following the majority of my class up the central walkway, a strange feeling filled my body. I felt as if were as if I were in a weird trance. Like… something was telling me I didn't know where I wanted to be. I didn't have any more classes for the rest of the day, but I didn't want to go home in case McKenzie and Tanner were hooking up. I wouldn't be able to get any studying done in my room. Not that I really felt like studying anyway.
As I pondered what to do with my free time, I wandered through Dylan Hall, the Medical Studies Building, and smiled as I saw the vending machine. I inserted a few dollars and bought a bag of cookies. The same kind I loved as a kid. I popped them open, snacking on them as I walked toward the exit. I dodged the hoard of students rushing through the halls to get to their next class on time. I decided to find a place to read outside and was suddenly grateful I had the foresight to bring a book with me this morning.
I stepped outside and into the cool afternoon breeze. The sun was beginning to set, casting cool shadows along the brick walkways. I popped another one of the dark-chocolate-mint cookies into my mouth and munched, I inhaled the scent of the freshly mowed grass and crossed the walkway into the garden behind the Natural Sciences Building. I usually used it as a shortcut to get from my classes to my dorm, but there were some benches in there that would be a good place to read. I finished my cookies before I reached the fountain.
To my shock, Nathan was sitting there. He looked up and smiled at me before waving me over.
Curious, I walked over to him, book in my hand. "Um... hey, Nathan."
"Elizabeth," he smiled, standing up to greet me. The way he said my name made me think he had been waiting for me. The thought made me smile. ”How was class?"
"Class was... good. Wait… how'd you know I was in class?" I asked, readjusting the strap of my bag and crossing my arms over my bo
dy.
He laughed, shrugging his shoulders as he opened a take out container, revealing the burgers he'd gotten from Reggie's, an 80s-themed burger joint just off-campus. "Kenz told me your schedule. I hope you don't mind.” He offered me one.
"Not when you're bringing me Reggie’s,” I said, touched by his thoughtfulness. I smiled up at him and had to fight the urge to hug him, too.
A warm smile spread across his face as he led me toward the trees trees just off the brick walkway. From there, we could see the entire plaza and the fountain as the sun set over campus, filling it with a deep, golden light. We settled in and set up the food between us. Nathan handed me a burger, and I bit into it with a grin, surprised by the crunch of an onion ring in the middle and the drop of grease that ran down my chin. The shock must've been evident on my face because he laughed.
After I swallowed and wiped my face, I smiled. "That's really good. Do you always get burgers with the sides in them?"
Nathan smiled as he finished chewing. "Only when it's Reggie's," he answered coyly "It sounded really good."
I nodded, resting my hand against the side of my knee. I looked over at Nathan and watched as he chewed precariously, trying not to split the scab that had formed over the cut on his lip. Now that I was looking at him more clearly, I realized there were some dark spots on the sides of his face. I smiled as I thought about the pictures from my last lecture. The idea of Nathan getting any type of cosmetic facial reconstruction seemed outlandish, but my eyes remained focused on the purple splotches marring his skin. They were healing, starting to yellow in uneven patches.
"Does it hurt with your lip?" I asked, taking a fry from the paper bag.
Nathan was quiet for a moment. His smile faded and he quietly swallowed. "A little," he answered, truthfully. He met my eyes. "But it's okay. I deserved it. I got in a few good shots too." He fiddled with his burger wrapper, trying to hide his discomfort.
"Can I be honest?" I asked, smiling at him when he dared to look up at me. "I think it looks... kind of good on you.”
His eyebrow his the sky and he started laughing. "Oh, really? Bruises look good on me?”
“Yeah," I admitted. "You look tough, like you could beat up all my enemies or something.” I mean, I wasn’t in the habit of promoting violence or encouraging anyone to act like that’s the best way to solve problems, but there was something incredibly hot about the fact that Nathan had come to my rescue, protected me, and gotten a little beat up in the process. In fact, it was kind of sexy.
I was so distracted, I didn’t see a pickle slip out of my burger and onto the ground.
"Oh, shoot.” I reached for a napkin and picked it up.
“Here.” Nate plucked a pickle from the middle of his burger and held it up in the air triumphantly.
For a moment, I wasn't sure if he wanted me to hold out my hand, my burger, or to lean my head back and let him feed it to me. But something about the glimmer in his eyes told me to open my mouth. He placed the pickle onto my tongue. We both laughed, but the moment felt oddly intimate. I realized that we were much closer than I thought we were. Our eyes met, and my chewing slowed. I swallowed.
"Thank you," I breathed.
He nodded. He was quiet as he scanned my face. "Can I be honest with you?"
My heart skipped a beat. There were so many different things he could say at that moment. It was probably going to be something totally innocent. But the fluttering in my chest told me to keep hoping it might not be.
"Of course," I said, trying to keep my cool. The words felt strange on my tongue and I worried about what Nathan was going to say.
"We have been spending a lot of time together. And… I want to do it more often," he started, a nervous smile appearing on his lips.
I was trying to play it off like this conversation wasn't sending shockwaves of anxiety throughout my body. As I chewed on my lunch, I didn't actually taste it. I was failing at this nonchalance thing. Hard.
He inhaled slowly, his shoulders rising as he took in a deep breath. “I want to spend more time with you, Elizabeth.”
I thought my heart would stop beating right then and there. Nothing could have prepared me for that.
"I have feelings for you."
Whoa.
His words were soft, like he worried that his confession would rattle me. His eyes were on his hands, but Nathan finally met my gaze. He was being genuine with me. There was a clarity and vulnerability in his eyes that I'd never seen on him before, and it sent an electric current through my body.
"I'd really like to have dinner with you tonight so you and I could get to know each other better. I mean… not like Tanner and McKenzie’s friends but like two people. On a date." He straightened his shoulders and waited for my response.
I turned to look at Nathan, resting my head against the tree and scanning his face for any signs that this was a joke. I couldn’t find any. "Really?"
He nodded. I couldn’t fight my grin.
"You want to have dinner with me tonight?"
"Yes," he said. "I want to make dinner for you tonight." He had a sweet smile on his face as he placed the rest of his burger into the bag on top of mine. "Maybe show off a little." He shrugged.
I was so excited I thought my eyes might have turned into twinkling hearts like a cartoon.
“Wait... we just ate," I said, awkwardly. "I'm hardly ready for dinner."
Ugh, Elizabeth! Why are you sabotaging yourself.
I knew it was my fear talking. I wanted this to be real so badly. I wanted Nathan to ask me out on proper date, but I had to make sure that I wasn’t misunderstanding. That this wasn’t a cruel joke.
"I didn't mean right now, Elizabeth." He raised his eyebrow, amused, picked up his burger and took a bit.
The breeze blowed through his hair gently. He looked so handsome in the golden light of the sunset. "I meant I want to see you tonight. Like a date. A real date. Not a blind date that our friends dragged us on or a tag-along situation. An honest-to-God date.”
My nerves threatened to get the better of me, but I fought them back. I wanted this too much to get in my own way.
“I, um… I want to see you, too."
13
Elizabeth
"Hey, Elizabeth. Where are your measuring cups?" Nathan called from the kitchen.
"In the drawer on the left," I replied as I rounded the corner and joined him behind the island.
He was making something that smelled delicious, but wouldn't let me help. I had been busy setting up the table and tidying up some last-minute stuff around the house, so the goings-on in the kitchen were a complete surprise to me. "Can I see what the great Chef Nathan has in store for dinner tonight?"
"Well, I don't know about great chef' but I do make a mean spaghetti and meatballs," he said, slyly, as he measured out some tomato sauce and poured it into a pot on the stove.
My stomach instantly clenched. Spaghetti. Carbs. I was suddenly back in the halls of our high school in my too tight XXL sweater, trying to keep my head down as I walked past a bunch of the football players who always stared at the big girl.. I had sworn away carbs as soon as I had graduated, which helped with my weight loss. A weight loss I hoped I could maintain. I’d already had the bun on the burger today. Not to mention the onion ring and fries. That alone was going to cost me a couple extra miles on the treadmill tomorrow.
Nathan didn't seem to notice my discomfort and kept on adding different spices into the pot. "It's my mom's recipe from her days traveling abroad. She spent a semester in Italy when she was in college and picked up a few good recipes while she was there," he said with a wink. "I’m not sure I can replicate it perfectly, but it may be the closest thing to authentic Italian cooking around here." He was in his element in the kitchen. Nathan moved quickly and confidently as he minced garlic, chopped the onion, and added seasoning in without measuring.
"I'm sure it will be great," I said, only half listening. I was still panicked about the pasta. Maybe I could
just take a small portion and tell Nathan I’m not hungry. Or maybe, I could eat normally and just double up on the cardio tomorrow. "Is there anything I can do to help? Prep some veggies or a salad or something?”
"Tonight, I’m doing all of the heavy cooking.”
“I know, but… I want to help. Plus, this meal could use something green,” I said.
“Hmm… I guess I could let you prepare the salad." He gestured to the counter, where a package of fresh spinach waited.
"Perfect." I grabbed the spinach and a few toppings and started setting it all up. I wasn't sure how Nathan liked it, so I decided to make it like a salad bar with each of the toppings in its own bowl. I grabbed as many bowls as I could and filled them with cheeses, croutons, chopped tomatoes, and bacon bits.
“Looks good over there,” he offered. “Very fancy.”
I decided to change the topic before I blushed too hard.
"So, your mom traveled in college? Would you ever want to do something like that? Study abroad?" I asked, bringing the bowls over to the table.
"I'm not sure, honestly," Nathan said, his back still turned to me. "I've traveled some before, but never anything long-term like that. I think it would be nice to see the world, but I don't know that I'd want to live in another country for months. I think I'd miss cheeseburgers and fries after a while, you know?"
"Oh yeah, totally," I said, my discomfort showing again. I hated that I felt so self-conscious about food, especially around Nathan. I thought I had moved on from feeling ashamed of my body and constantly apologizing for it, but being around Nathan and the carbs just made it so much harder to forget how big I was.
"Okay, ready to eat?" Nathan asked and walked to the table with the pot of spaghetti.
