“No!” he spat and leaned in closer to my face. “You!” He repeatedly poked my chest with his finger. “You decided you wanted to forget everything in the past and just carry on like nothing happened. Haven’t you learned a fucking thing yet?” He ridiculed as he paced in front of the bedroom door. “You can’t ignore what happened in the past and think that it will all just fade, and everybody around who was stung in the process will also forget about it. It doesn’t go like that.”
“I didn’t say that.”
He rolled his eyes at me. “You’re just like her!”
“Who? Who am I like, Brooks? Your ex-wife? Cause she’s a piece of shit in my eyes if you want to know. But since we were together then, you already know how I feel about her. You know how I feel about her and right now, I despise her even more!” I was now shouting at him.
“You have no idea about a damn thing!” he roared as he thrust his fist against the door.
It stunned us both when his fist went right through the door. He pulled his wrist back through as blood dripped to the ground. He clutched his wrist and twirled around to glare at me. “What the hell, Erika! Why did you have to drive me to this!”
“I didn’t force you to do anything!” I wailed as I stood and strode towards the bathroom to get a towel, but he lunged forwards and thrust me back onto the bed and knelt over me.
“Now you want to leave?”
“Get off me!” I shrieked. “I was going to the bathroom to get you a towel! Brooks! What is going on? Why are you treating me like this?! Get off me!” I struggled to shove him off as he held me down. I could feel blood dripping down the side of my face. It felt warm, and it wasn’t tears, so I assumed it was the blood from his hand. “Let me go!”
“Where? Where are you going to go, Erika?” he imitated me. “Where are you going to go? Your car won’t get you far. You know what? Take my truck. Yes, take my truck. You might get a little further with that. But like you expressed the other night, you doubt it would make it to the county line before ending up in the ditch. Your words, not mine,” he pointed out as he got off me and headed into the bathroom.
I bolted from the bed. raced across the loft to my bedroom, slammed, and locked the door behind me. I collapsed onto my bed and cried, unclear if I was crying over Brooks, the way he was treating me right now, or the past and how I hurt him. It was everything blended together.
Chapter Eight
I remained locked in my room the rest of the night. Brooks never attempted to come in or knock on the door in the middle of the night like last time. Whatever I did seemed to upset him so much, it was the breaking point for any chance at a future together.
I reached under my bed, grasped the binoculars, and wandered to the window. There was no movement from Easton’s at the moment, but I noticed a narrow trail being shoveled towards my house. It amazed me that he listened to me that night, but I was also nervous because Brooks told me all about his intentions as a single neighbor. I didn’t know who to trust right now. Did Easton have ill intentions, or was Brooks just acting out in an envious rage?
My heart plummeted, knowing Brooks may not react to this well. He wasn’t acting normal and seemed to get more irritated about the slightest of things. Easton shoveling a pathway towards my house wasn’t a minor detail in his mind. This would launch him over the edge. And I felt like he would take it out on me.
Hours passed as I stayed secluded in my room. I heard no movement from Brooks. I was starving and headed downstairs to make something to eat, grab my laptop, and come back to my bedroom to get some work done. I turned towards the kitchen and paused when I saw Brooks sitting up to the island sipping on a drink. But what grabbed my attention were the flowers in the vase resting on the countertop.
He watched me without saying a word. I peered at him, silent for a few seconds.
“Where did you get those?”
“I’m sorry,” he stated. “Again. I don’t think I’ve apologized so much in my entire life. I also don’t think I’ve meant the apologies I’ve apologized for so much either. Or something like that.”
I didn’t acknowledge his comment. Instead, I reiterated the question.
“I found them in a box in your basement,” he stated as he took another sip of his drink.
“You went through my boxes?” I asked.
“I won’t lie to you, but yes, I went through your boxes in the basement.”
“Why? Why would you do that?”
“Boredom. And fun fact, I found these flowers. Not sure who gave them to you since they’re fake, but thought you needed some cheering up. And I brought up that pile there of things.” He pointed towards the pantry.
I peered around the island to see an oversized pile of items from my old house.
“Thought you might want to get some things hung on these bare walls, make it feel more like home and not so empty, you know.”
I held my breath for a moment. “Brooks, that was a nice gesture. But I wish you would’ve asked me first before you went through my things and decided to unpack and carry them up here.”
He stared at me.
I stood my ground and stared right back at him.
He shook his head. “I try to do one nice thing for you, and it goes unappreciated. I see how it is.”
“It’s not unappreciated. Thank you. I just wish you would’ve asked me first.”
He took a heavy breath and stood. “I tried.”
I glared at him as he trudged past me into the living room. He then came back into the kitchen and grasped his boots and jacket.
“Where are you going?”
He didn’t even look at me. “You’re almost out of wood in the living room. I’m going to bring a large stack in for you. Man duties,” he declared with a hasty glance my way.
I held my breath as he walked outside. Man duties, I echoed to myself. I could bring wood into my house too, but whatever. He could do all the man duties he wanted while he was here.
I shuffled towards the patio door. The weather died down, but it was still howling and blowing. It looked now like it was only snow. The sleet and ice had stopped—at least for now.
The flashing on my laptop drew my attention to the living room. I sat on the couch and opened it up, reached for the cord, and plugged it into the wall. A few minutes later, Brooks walked into the house with his first armload.
“You can do your work,” he suggested when I jumped up to help him. “I got this.”
“I can help.”
“You have your own work to do. I got this.” It was like he was warning me to do my work and leave him alone to do his.
Okay, I told to myself. I will just sit down and do my work.
I covered up with the blanket on my couch and worked on my book as Brooks stacked more wood than we needed next to the fireplace. The stack would last through this storm and most of the upcoming month. I wanted to know what was disturbing him. He had something else on his mind, and I could tell. The first night he showed up, he was just like I remembered him to be. Now, I didn’t know what to think. I was confused and scared the love I had for him was diminishing, piece by piece. And what we shared was something so amazing, I didn’t want to lose it. I didn’t want to let go of him, or of us.
I wished more than anything to fix what I broke and move forward. I couldn’t help but feel like I was taking steps in the wrong direction this time with Brooks. Why did I feel like we were shifting away from each other? And that it was something neither of us had control over.
Chapter Nine
I rolled over in bed to face the door and noticed the glow of a light from underneath it. We had turned off all the lights before going to bed. Glancing at the clock on my nightstand, I noted it was one-thirty in the morning.
Last night, we fell asleep in our own beds, neither one of us addressing the fact we had yet to deal with the hole in the door. It was a bleak reminder each time I walked upstairs. I slipped out of bed, opened my door, and walked downstairs to the kitchen. Brooks sat at the
island, writing something he covered up when he noticed me come around the corner.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked.
“No. You?”
“I don’t feel like I’ve slept in days,” he said.
“I wish you would tell me what’s bothering you. I know something is upsetting you.”
“It’s fine. Dealing with it.”
“So there is something?” I leaned against the wall and stared at him.
“Isn’t there always something we’re going through that we don’t want to overwhelm others with?”
“Well, I’d never consider whatever it is you’re going through a burden on me.”
He nodded, folded the paper, and slid it in his pocket. “Just doing a lot of thinking, that’s it.”
“Remember when we used to tell each other everything?” I asked him. “We’d lie in the bed of your truck, stare up at the sky, and just talk. For hours.”
He nodded.
“I miss that,” I expressed. “Those were some of the happiest moments I’ve had.”
“Well, I’d have to agree. Even if we had to hide what we were doing, at least for a moment, both of us could forget about everything going on in our lives.”
“Yeah,” I replied. “You helped me forget a lot back then. If it weren’t for you, I don’t know what would have happened to me. I don’t know who I would be now or what I might have turned into.”
He looked at me, stayed silent, and let me talk.
“I left a lot of things unsaid between us. You’re right to say all the things you said earlier about me. They’re true. That was me back then. I didn’t like that person, even though that’s the person you fell in love with. I didn’t know who I was. He broke me down to nobody. Stripped me of everything. I had no option but to start over and figure out who I was. It wasn’t easy. Hell, I still don’t know if I know who I am. But I know, I’m not her. I’m not who I was back then.”
He fumbled with the pen between his fingers.
“I left the way I did because I felt broken. You helped me pick up all my broken pieces. You’re right with that. And yes, you were there to pick up every broken piece of me. But I had to figure out how to put the pieces back together by myself. It’s hard to piece yourself together when you’re so broken. You don’t know which piece goes where.”
He stared at the counter, then back at me.
“I held onto every piece of you, but I didn’t know where you fit. Back then, I couldn’t figure out where you fit in my life. The rumors didn’t help, and when you’re broken, you make broken decisions. Or half-thought-out plans because you’re not all there. You’re not thinking straight, even though you think you are.”
I observed him holding his breath like he wanted to cry. I could tell from his face that whatever I was saying, something was hitting him hard.
“It felt like I was dangling from this thread, swinging back and forth. Then out of nowhere, I landed, hard. The thread was cut, and I didn’t know which pieces belonged in my life, so I left everything shattered on the ground.”
“And you never looked back,” he whispered.
I nodded. “I never looked back,” I whispered back to him. “And that’s not what hurt the most. Everything we had, everything we did, was like a dagger to my heart as the memories swirled around me daily. At night, I’d cry myself to sleep. For the longest time, I cried myself to sleep because I missed you so much. I’d pick up the phone to call you and dial every number but the last one. Then I’d lie there and cry even more. Every email I’d type to you, I’d delete after a day. I wanted to be everything you needed but no longer knew what that was. I didn’t think I had it in me to love you again, like you needed. Because I still didn’t know who I was supposed to be. And I was so close to you still. About an hour away. There were many times I wanted to jump back in my car and drive to you. Many times.”
He shook his head. “I needed you. Either way, I needed you,” he whispered kind of to himself.
“And you had Jaden. What example would I be setting for him if I didn’t know who I was? Yes, he was on my mind too. All the time. I couldn’t have him seeing me so broken. And I didn’t want to talk about her, but whatever lies she fed him about me and about you, I just hurt even more. If I were to stay in your life, she would make it worse. You and I both know that. But now, he’s what? Eleven? He’s old enough to make his own thoughts about the person I am. At least, I hope she didn’t groom him to hate me like but...”
“Enough,” Brooks said as he cupped his hands together. “I can’t...”
I stared at him and held my breath as I watched him. He was tensing up, and I wondered what I had said this time that caused it.
“You don’t know broken,” he said as he stood and walked towards the patio doors to stare out. “You don’t know broken.”
“Brooks, we can get him back full time if that’s what you want to do. If you want to go through the court process, I’ll be right there by your side. I promise you that this time. Let’s do this. Why can’t we be a...”
“Family? Is that where this is all going? You now want to be a family. Right now. But back then, we weren’t good enough for you,” he stammered.
“Brooks...”
“Erika.”
“Why can’t you listen to me?”
“Why can’t you listen to me? I said enough, and you’re still talking. Just drop it right now.”
“Okay. I’ll drop it. Just forget everything I said. I should have left everything unsaid, I guess.”
“What does that mean?” He spun around.
“It means I have so much I want to tell you!” I yelled as I burst into tears. “So much! I have years of built-up feelings just hovering on the brink of... I don’t even know what. But I’m afraid...”
“Of what?” he yelled back. “Me? Now you’re afraid of me,” he laughed. “I come here to see you one last time and... and... help you out with things around here. And you’re scared of me.”
“I’m scared of the way you keep reacting like...”
“Like what!” he shouted as he raced towards me and grabbed me by the wrist. “Like what, Erika? Tell me. You think I’m him. Your ex? Is this how he treated you? He hurt you so damn bad that you had to run.”
“Stop!”
He let go of my wrist, and I ran to the other side of the island. “Stop! Please just stop,” I begged him. “This isn’t you, Brooks, this isn’t you,” I cried. “Please...”
“Oh for God’s sake, Erika,” he laughed as he walked towards the patio door. “I’m not going to hurt you. Have I ever...” He paused mid-sentence.
I watched in horror and knew he had just noticed the path that Easton had been shoveling towards my cabin.
Chapter Ten
“What are you doing?” I asked him as he put on his boots and jacket. “Brooks, where are you going?”
“I’m going to give him a little help. He shoveled this far; maybe I’ll shovel and meet him where he’s at.”
“Really?” I answered.
“I still don’t think he has good intentions, but I won’t be vulnerable in case I’m right.” He snatched his gloves and hat and stepped out the door to his truck. I watched him fumble around inside his truck for a few minutes before I raced back upstairs. Something felt different about him, and I knew he already harbored ill feelings towards Easton.
Once in my bedroom, I grabbed the binoculars to see if Easton was outside. He wasn’t, so that was a good sign. I set the binoculars down on the windowsill and watched as Brooks trudged through the snow until he made his way onto the shoveled path. He dusted himself off and shoveled towards my cabin.
I watched him shovel for a genuine twenty minutes and noticed Easton in the woods. He just stood half behind one tree, watching Brooks shovel. That made me suspicious as I snatched the binoculars and watched. Easton leaned up against his shovel, but his demeanor as he continued watching didn’t sit well with me. Had he not yelled hello to Brooks? If he had, Brooks wou
ld have spun around to answer back. But there was nothing.
Maybe he was right, that Easton had ulterior motives and all this time, I was too irrational to notice. Scary to think what a mask of niceness could disguise. Through the binoculars, I watched as Easton walked the trail towards Brooks—a shovel in one hand and his other hand in his pocket. Why did everything Brooks had said burn up like red flags in my mind? I bolted downstairs and struggled to open the patio door, but it wouldn’t budge. The weather had iced it shut. I raced to the entry closet, forced on my boots, and flew out the front door, struggling to tread in the same tracks Brooks paved.
“Brooks!” I screamed. “Brooks!”
The wind swirled the snow so much, it was tough to see without being pelted with sleet. “Brooks! Brooks!”
“Erika, is everything okay?” he yelled back.
“Brooks...” I tumbled into the snow, and that’s when I realized how deep it was. I couldn’t see over the drift, and I struggled to get up. My hands felt frozen, and my ears burned.
“Erika! What are you doing?” Brooks asked as he got closer.
He leaned down and helped me up. Then without a thought, he picked me up and carried me back to the front porch. “What’s going on?” he said as he sat me down. “Everything okay?”
“I just...” I was so cold I couldn’t even talk.
“Let’s get inside.”
I walked inside, and an icy-hot feeling gushed over my skin.
“Go sit in front of the fire. I’ll grab more blankets. Don’t scare me like that,” he began as he covered me with the blanket from the couch. He took off his boots and jacket and ran upstairs. A few seconds later, he ran down the steps with the comforter from his bed. He wrapped it around me and sat on the couch next to me, holding me as I shivered.
“I tried to open the patio door,” I mumbled as I shivered.
“Well, it’s frozen shut,” he laughed. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I just saw Easton walking up behind you, and well, my mind shot off red flags after everything you had said, and so I ran outside to warn you.”
The Stranger In the Guest Room Page 5
