It quietens me and that distant heartache and pang of jealousy finds its way back home to my stomach. In all this mess I was starting to wonder if our bond has been dented and if I was starting to feel differently about him. I guess I’m not that lucky, as my heart still seems very attached, despite everything. I’m mad at him, disappointed in him, but yet, I still yearn and love him. My soul still wants and needs him.
We dress quickly, although his clothes are baggy on me, and ill-fitting, but it’s better than showing up in a rag and a smile. Following him close to his heel, leaving his room, we make our way down another two flights of sweeping staircase and two other levels before we end up back where I caused such a scene hours ago. That sweeping final stair to the main entrance which is now immaculately calm.
It’s a lot cleaner and tidier now the debris is gone, and the front door closed, with the addition of several new heavy-duty locking mechanisms in place. The boarded glass panels are screwed on with braces over them for now, hinting that the threat of another attack is on Juan’s mind.
Colton takes my hand in his unexpectedly, sliding strong fingers into mine and leads the way across the vast marble floor into a small corridor that runs away from the bathroom he put me in earlier. I don’t reject his touch, needing it now I’m on a comedown of what happened upstairs. Once again vulnerable and out of my depth and clinging to him to take charge while in his domain. Drawing from his strength and ability to swagger through the worst kind of chaos.
We walk down the dark almost claustrophobic space, with voices, noises, lots of movement cascading our way, and follow two Santos we catch up with inside the most crowded room I’ve ever seen. It’s hard to tell how big it would be empty, for it’s packed solid with adult Santo wolves, mostly male, from all over, even the ones who don’t reside in the pack house. Easily over a hundred or so, and they’re all squeezed in, fighting for breathing space as we join right at the back, unseen.
There are several elders and the Shaman, right down at the front, standing on a low podium facing back at us all. Men I have never seen before in my life, standing behind them, and I guess these are the older generation of retired elders, coming out in our time of need. Mostly men in here as is the way when dealing with important matters, or femmes who have no children and are better suited to battle, as all of those who are not are home minding their little ones. Juan Santo is right in the center and he seems to be waiting for everyone to quiet before he starts. The overwhelming seriousness of this cascades around the room, thickening the atmosphere with a heady tension.
Colton pulls me in front of him, placing me right at his chest so he’s up against my back, lacing his fingers into both of my hands from behind as they hang by my sides in the darkest of our shadows. He rests his chin against the back of my head, bringing his body to fit snugly into mine, so we are completely joined without it being obvious to those around us. It looks like two people standing close due to the crushing lack of space as our hands are concealed in darkness. He’s a good head taller than me, so it’s a natural position, and I glance around to see if anyone is staring, but they’re all too focused on their alpha king.
“Quiet now” A voice from the front rows hushes the uneasy mumbling and scraping in the room and everyone stops talking, the atmosphere somehow heavier with the forced hush. Juan steps forward, although I can barely see him over the people in front of me and have to stand on my tip toes to get a proper view between heads. There’s a moment of pause as he looks around us all, his eyes catching his son across the crowds and I can’t miss the fleeting surge of anger as he realizes I’m right in front of him.
I glance away, instantly scalded, landing back down on flat feet, wounded by the penetrating glare and scan the room instead to see if Carmen is anywhere close by. I can’t see her thankfully, which means she probably can’t see us, and try to sink down further to better conceal myself behind the Santo in front of me. Colton squeezes my hands and holds me closer, somehow letting me know that I should ignore it.
Be still. You’re safe with me. He comes through gently, caressing my mind with a tender tone and I exhale dejectedly.
For now, maybe. While they’re all distracted with Vampire attacks and end of world foreboding, but my gut says it’s temporary. I can feel the hatred lingering in the air from Juan’s vicious frown and it unsettles me in every kind of way.
“You all know why we are here…” Juan begins and it’s the final push needed to bring a total hush to the room as all completely still, not even the shuffle of moving bodies, and fall deathly silent. It tugs my attention back to him and I peek around the side of the male in front of me to catch sight of him again. “We were attacked by a long-forgotten enemy, and quite frankly, we didn’t see it coming and were not prepared. Despite the rumbling of recent months, we didn’t honestly expect them to rise and attack in this way and we failed our people. We lost fifty-three of our kind, on the dark side of the mountain, tonight. Forty-seven lost in the battle and six bonded who perished when their mates heart took its last beat.”
My heart aches as he says it, visualizing so many of the faces I know went down in that attack. Unlike anyone else in this room, I’m probably the only one who not only knew their names, but what every single one of them looked like, who they were as people, and their ages not only when they died, but when they were first dumped in that hellhole without their loved ones. Memories with all of them, even if they were not close to me. To these wolves, they’re just numbers to measure their failures against.
I close my eyes as the tears begin to fall silently down my cheeks, warm unwelcome rivulets of remembrance. The pain returning once more, and I can’t stop myself. My heart filling up and straining to contain it as my mind is swamped with images I don’t want to relive, and I shudder as I push them away, inhaling heavily as my shoulders start to tremble with the effort of not falling apart. The horrors of how I last saw them all, trying so hard to invade my brain and cut me down all over again.
I nestle back into Colton as his arm comes up around my body and across my neck as he cuddles me. His comfort, because he can feel my pain, my body trembling as I cry, squeezing my eyes shut to gain control. His touch is what I need more than anything and I stay here in the darkness of my own doing, listening and silently weeping while held tight in his comforting embrace.
“We think it was a test, for this device we found in the orphanage.” Juan carries on and my eyes rip open at his words, shoving my despair aside as I squirm, wriggling out of Colton’s hug to see what everyone is craning necks to look at. Catching a gap as ones on front move sideways to look where I am.
He holds up a small perfectly square black box, an antenna sticking up at the top but a complete lack of buttons and dials of any sort, that looks harmless. Small and compact, no more than a tissue box in size, with another wire sticking out from the rear about a foot long and doesn’t seem to attach to anything to power it. It doesn’t look real, more like something a child could make with card and glue and some black paint and I blink at it, stupefied, glaring furiously, and hating that something so insignificant, destroyed my life.
“They chose our weakest and our most secluded and walked right in, depositing this in the center of the first-floor kitchen. We think they wanted to test its effectiveness and still have a fighting chance should it fail. It didn’t…. we’ve only one survivor left from the home and only because of the fast actions of our pack. We managed to take down many of their kind, but a few escaped and will be reporting on their success for sure.”
There’s a murmur and uneasiness as people glance around at one another in scared question, and I catch the whisper of my name on the hushes wave of sound. The mix of both relief that my survival ensured their own Santo alpha, but also the bitter ones, calling me a reject and querying how I was the one who managed to live.
I catch the low, body vibrating, internal growl from Colton as his protective instinct kicks in at hearing my name and a couple of nearby Santos gl
ance this way, eyes widening in surprise and they instantly stare down at their feet, turning meekly submissive in a flash. Faces darkening with fear and shame at being caught by him of all people. Realizing he’s right here, among them, and not down there with his immediate family. I turn away to block them out and stare down at the front instead, mentally blanking them all, because this has always been my life and I’m not that bothered by their remarks.
I catch sight of his grandmother in the shadows when they settle down, a woman who barely shows face but is lingering nearby. Unsurprisingly, there’s no sign of Luna Santo, Colton’s mother. She’s been absent from view since the wars and rumor has it, she locks herself up in her room on the main floor upstairs and never leaves. No one has seen her in years, and if it weren’t for Colton’s memories of her in my head, I wouldn’t even remember what she looked like.
Some say she was scarred horribly by the battles, both mentally, and physically, and is too ashamed to come out and face her people. Meeting one of the few things in the world which can leave unhealable damage on a wolf, and her mental state has crumbled with the trauma. Only I now know from being inside his head there’s some truth to the stories, and there’s only a vague blurry visual of Colton being told she’s cared for, away from the mountain, because the war broke her.
Those around us turn silent as Juan breaks through the thick atmosphere once again, drawing me away from my train of thought and disrupting my searching of the past for answers to her lack of appearance.
“Testing weapons can only mean we’re heading for a war with an enemy we thought we long ago vanquished. They’re working on a strategy, and this is just the beginning. There have been stories, rumors, but nothing concrete for many months, although this is now our proof. Civilization as we know it is about to change drastically. We must protect the packs and join with those from other lands, prepare for what is coming. We must unite and finally be ruled by one leader, one voice, to work as one, under my guidance as alpha, if we are to survive a second war like the last.”
I shiver as his words begin to hit home, my brain scrambling to fathom something as huge an undertaking as that. We’re a dozen packs in one state, but worldwide there are thousands, hundreds of thousands, and most still do not live in peace with the others of their kind. Rivalries exist, and some are still at war with one another, even now with the history of the wars behind us. A common enemy may change that, but there’s a lot to do before that can happen.
Packs are destined to want to rule over one another, fight for dominance, forge the hierarchy, and our mountain is not normal when it comes to living in close proximity. It was a necessity, as we recovered from the war of before, our people shattered by loss, so we were more pliable in accepting another pack as our leader. Most of our own alphas never came back to dispute the claim to rule us.
Santo’s idea, that he will become the only leader and unite us all seems ridiculous, given the vast amount of us in this world he will need to unite. I’m sure there are other pack leaders out there who believe themselves far superior to him. Other dominants with way more ability, and gifts, and it’s not in an alphas nature to yield without a fight.
I shiver, my body trembling with all that is dawning on me, how terrifying our future now looks and Colton firms his hold on me, reassuring me as best he can. Trying to keep me calm and be that rock I never knew I needed before I found his touch. I exhale heavily, submerging myself in his body heat and try to bring myself peace.
“We need to put measures in place to protect our mountain from another attack; effective immediately. Allocations of groups, with leaders, will be assigned to those who haven’t already had so. We are the reigning pack in Radstone, and they’ll all be looking to us now, to lead, and protect them. Training will begin at first light for all old enough to fight, so all of you eat. Sleep. We’ve already sent small details to walk the perimeters and each of the villages has been ordered to do the same. We’ll have guards outside at every hour, keeping watch, and we’ll revise a system to improve on all of this, set up drills with how to react should an alarm be raised. This coming few weeks, we’ll be moving all surrounding packs into the south side of the mountain, here among our people, for their own safety. We have much to do, there will be upheaval, and chaos, but we must keep our heads. This was a first offensive, and we do not know when they intend to return.”
The silence becomes unbearable when his last words fall in the air around us, and the gravity of our situation sits heavy on us all. Some of these men and women are survivors from the first war against the vampires and already paid their dues, but most of us were just children, or young enough to stay behind. We lost so many, and although or numbers have recouped over the years, we’re not living in readiness for a fight. We’ve had relative peace for years, and I have no idea how the hell we’re going to get through this.
Bringing us all to one place to live in each other’s pockets, here in the Santo land is going to be madness. We’re spread far around the skirts of the mountains and high in number. There are not enough homes to accommodate bringing us all together at this one shaded side, under their command and watchful eye. Not to mention the children, their schools, and their animals on the outer farms. This is insanity.
I feel sick to my stomach, knowing that everything I knew before, my idea of empty living, was in fact the best years of my sad existence. Now we’re dawning on a new age, and I’m wishing with all my heart that I could back to being that unworthy reject, in a house full of unwanteds, in the shadowy side of our peaceful mountain.
If I could back I would. I would never complain again, never crave a different life, because what we have coming, couldn’t be any worse.
Changing Times
After Juan is done making his announcement, the Santos start to file out of the room slowly, in a wave of murmurs and noises as they discuss what was said, and where we go from here. You can feel the tension thickening, the uneasiness, and nervousness, as it sinks in that this is real and life as we know it is about to change dramatically. Colton pulls me aside, tucking us out of the way of the door to let people pass, and grabs a passing male who is very familiar to me.
“Matteo, take Alora to our room and wait for me there. Assemble the pack, I want to talk to you all. I won’t be long; my father wants me.” He nods out towards the front of the room, where Juan’s still concealed by moving people and I instantly feel sick with apprehensive.
Being left with someone and separated from Colton reminds me, that for all the things I am mad at him about, I still feel secure when with him. He’s my safety net, and the only person in the world who cares about me in any kind of way. His strength, his quiet confidence, and air of control, is the calm to my nervous floundering and it only hit’s home, that I need his presence more than I want to admit.
“Dude, I don’t think that’s good idea. Carmen and Alora in the same room…. she will….”
“Are you questioning me?” Colton’s tone instantly changes, ha growling snarl in the undertones, irritation fast to show his displeasure and that aggressive air kicking in as Matteo looks away sheepishly. Knowing he overstepped the mark. Questioning of a command never goes down well with alphas of any sort, especially not by one of his own sub pack and it shows me that Colton is way more patient with me than even his closest.
“No, mi alfa, pido disculpas.” Matteo responds in fluent Spanish, lowering his head and displaying his regret. Showing the demanded respect, obviously chastised as his leader is Colton, apologizing and addressing him as alpha.
We have one major rule in our world. Never query your alpha, for any reason, and never disobey. I forgot what that was like when living severed from any real pack and only having to follow basic rules in the home. Being here reminds me how it used to be when my family was alive, and we all followed Samuel Whyte, before his family was taken down and never returned.
It makes me rethink Colton’s refusal to defy his father and leaves me churning it over in my head
, a new angle on a frustrating situation. Reality sinking in, that just because I lived outside of the restraints and rules of our social norm for a decade, doesn’t mean he has.
Colton and Matteo, they’re a sub pack, a smaller group divided from the main and lorded over by a single dominant. Colton! This is how large packs like the Santos keep everything running smoothly. They’re called Beta packs, or Subs, and much like the hierarchy of leadership, even the sub packs rank in order of importance and command. Like smaller units in a bigger army, with ranking officers, and Colton’s right up there in the top five. His father’s pack of beta second commanders, are number one.
The order is dependent on skill, experience, and how battle worn they are, and Colton’s sub pack were of an age to defend us ten years ago. They all tasted real war on our lands. Even so young. It’s why they train together every day and are some of our most capable soldiers when needs be. I should never forget, that even though Colton is not yet the Santo Alpha, he is one in his own right, and in his own sub pack, and I underestimate the importance of his responsibilities. He isn’t just some nineteen-year-old high school jock with his eye on a future crown, he’s already a commander, already performing his duty and caring for his pack.
“Go with him, he’ll keep you safe. He’s as close as a brother to me.” Colton leans in, pulling me to him so he can talk softly, almost nose to nose, that gentler tone waving through me and breaking down my defenses. That sweet look I now know is only reserved for me, and he reluctantly pushes me towards Matteo until a hand lands on my shoulder. An unfamiliar touch and I flinch at the contact but try to hide it.
Awakening: Book 1 Page 16