by Katie Ashley
We stared at each other for a moment. Rev jerked a hand through his hair. “Yeah, uh, I guess I better let you get in now.”
When he started to go, I grabbed his arm. “Wait. I need help getting out of this dress.”
His eyes flared at my request. It wasn’t a come-on in disguise. I had needed the help of one of our maids earlier that night to get it zipped.
Instead of asking me to stand up, Rev bent over my back, bringing his hands to the zipper. Slowly, he tugged it down. As the front gaped open, I didn’t bother trying to cover myself.
Rev’s hands momentarily faltered, and when I looked up, I met his gaze, which was fixed on my bare breasts. I hadn’t needed to wear a bra because of the tight-fitting bodice. He cleared his throat several times, then tugged the zipper the rest of the way down.
There was not a doubt in my mind, heart, or body about how much I wanted him. I knew he expected me to want to take things slow in the sex department, but that’s not how I felt. Regardless of the ghosts of the past, I wanted him more than I had ever wanted any man. I wanted him to be the one who proved to me that sex was physically and emotionally safe. That it could be a loving act between two consenting people.
But with the roller coaster of feelings rocketing through me, it was more about an all-consuming lust and desire.
When Rev stepped back from me, I rose to my feet. The dress slid down my body and pooled at my feet, leaving me in only my panties. Both empowerment and vulnerability raced through me.
“Rev, I want you to look at me.” He shook his head and kept his gaze on the floor. “I said I want you to look at me,” I repeated.
“That’s not what this is about. It’s about you getting warm before you catch pneumonia,” he countered.
“I could care less about getting sick. Right now what I care about is seeing the man I love want me sexually. To look at me like he wants to devour me.”
His eyes, which burned with lust and unfilled desire, snapped to mine. “How can you ever doubt even for a second how I feel about you?”
I threw my hands up. “Because I’m standing practically naked before you and you won’t fucking look at me!”
“We’re both teetering at the edge of uncharted territory. After everything you’ve been through, I would rather die than hurt you.”
“You hurt me more when you won’t look at me or touch me,” I protested.
With an agonized sigh, Rev finally allowed his gaze to rake down my body. There was no feeling of embarrassment or inadequacy. Just the look on his face warmed me from head to toe. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured.
Tears stung my eyes from his adoration. “I am?” I questioned.
He smiled. “Every inch of you.”
Closing the gap between us, I took his hands in mine. One I brought to my cheek and the other I brought to my breast. Rev and I both sucked in a breath as his fingers closed over my nipple. I cupped his face in my hands. “Please don’t ever stop looking at me like you want me.”
He shook his head. “Not wanting you sexually has never been an issue, Annabel. Every morning you lay beside me, I was hard as a rock. But I didn’t want you to think I could only see you sexually—that I was some sort of animal like Mendoza. I wanted you to see I cared about what was inside.” His chin jerked at the shower. “You better get inside before all the warm water is gone.”
“Get in with me.”
Although his hand remained firmly on my breast, his brows shot up in surprise. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Warm me up, Rev. I need you.” My hands went to the jacket of his tux. When I moved to slide it off his shoulders, he didn’t protest. As my fingers worked at the buttons on his shirt, he began to unbutton and unzip his pants.
When he slid off his pants, he revealed that even with a tux, he was going commando. As I stood there, staring at him, my heartbeat roared so loudly in my ears I was sure Rev could hear it. God, he was so beautiful. A wall of muscle that was decorated with multicolored tattoos. My gaze slid down his washboard abs to take in the dark dusting of hair below his hips, but, more important, his already large manhood, which wasn’t fully aroused yet.
At Rev’s chuckle, I glanced up in surprise. “It’s surprising that a lady like yourself would be staring at my package.”
“I can’t help it. I’m impressed.”
His eyes gleamed with male pride. “I’m glad to hear that.”
After I shimmied out of my panties, I stepped into the shower. Rev followed close behind me. The scalding water didn’t feel nearly as good as having him so close or feeling his eyes on me.
We stood there, breathing hard and staring at each other, for a few seconds. “I swore if you took me back, I wouldn’t move fast with you,” Rev whispered to me.
“Once again, it’s me putting the moves on you, isn’t it?”
He flashed me a wolfish grin. “I would have to say I’m a very willing participant.”
“All I know is what is happening between us or what is going to happen feels right. That’s all we can go by, right?”
“Yes, it is.”
Rev stepped behind me and turned my body into the full force of the stream of water. He brought his strong hands up to rub up and down from my shoulders to my wrists. Between the warm water and his touch, my chilled skin became inflamed. He placed a tender kiss on my shoulder blade, which caused me to arch my back against his lips. Gentle kisses feathered across my back to my other shoulder. He then kissed his way up to the back of my neck while his hands left my shoulders to rub around my waist and abdomen.
Resting my head back against his chest, I sighed in what could only have been extreme contentment or ecstasy.
Slowly Rev turned me around so that I was facing him. “Are you getting warm?”
I smiled seductively at him. “I’m on fire.”
“Where?”
“Everywhere,” I replied.
His hands came up to cup my breasts. “Here?”
As he rubbed the hardening nipples between his thumb and forefinger, I closed my eyes. “Mmm.”
“You have beautiful breasts.”
Never one to be satisfied with compliments, I argued, “They’re not very big.”
“Look,” he commanded. When I opened my eyes, he gestured to his hands holding my breasts. In a lust-filled growl, he replied, “They’re a perfect fit for my hands.”
“Yes. They are,” I replied breathlessly.
“Maybe I should see how well they fit my mouth.”
My heartbeat skipped at his suggestion. “You probably should.”
Dipping his head, he closed his mouth over my right breast. As he sucked, his tongue twirled and flicked over the nipple, causing me to moan. My arms slid from his shoulders into his hair, my fingers tangling through the wet strands. When his teeth grazed my tight nipple, I gripped his hair even tighter, which caused him to groan. “Did I hurt you?” I panted.
He released my nipple with a pop. A sly grin appeared on his face. “No. It’s more like I get hard as fuck when you tug my hair.” To prove his point, he rolled his hips against me, letting me feel his erection.
I smiled at him. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Rev shifted to my other breast, teasing and tasting me until I had to squeeze my legs together because of the growing ache. As if he sensed the tension in me, Rev snaked a hand between us and dipped it between my thighs. I gasped at the wonderful feeling. His forehead wrinkled with concern. “Is this okay?”
“It’s more than okay. It’s amazing.” I then opened my legs wider to give him more room.
Over and over his calloused fingers teased my clit. When he plunged two fingers inside me, I cried out and gripped him tighter. As I worked my hips in rhythm with his fingers, I wanted more than anything to come. I wanted to come for Rev and his ability to turn me on, but more than anything, I wanted to come for myself, so that in a small way I could reclaim my sexuality.
I grew closer and closer to the e
dge, but I couldn’t go over. And then Rev sank to his knees. Pushing my back against the tile, he spread my legs even farther apart. It took only the flick of his tongue against my clit to send me over into orgasm. As tears stung my eyes, I came, crying out his name over and over.
But he didn’t stop. Instead, he waited for me to come down. Then his tongue and fingers went to work again. My legs began to shake, and they felt like they wouldn’t hold me up, so I gripped Rev’s shoulders to steady myself. It didn’t take long this time before I was throwing my head back and experiencing sheer mind-blowing pleasure once again. “So fucking sexy,” Rev muttered against my sex.
He rose from his knees. When his mouth met mine, I could taste myself on his lips and tongue. I don’t know how long we stayed lip-locked, our hands running over each other’s body. With my fingertips, I traced the bulging muscles of his biceps, his hard pecs, and his washboard abs. Although the large contours of his body could be frightening, I found myself feeling more and more protected. I was safe with Rev. He would never expect me to do something I wasn’t comfortable with or that made me uneasy.
When the water turned cold, Rev tore his lips from mine. As he stared into my eyes, I knew we were once again teetering on the edge of a line—a line that would inevitably have to be crossed. “Make love to me,” I whispered.
Conflict raged in Rev’s eyes. I knew that in his mind he thought we had gone far enough with what we had already done. We didn’t need to rush things—we had all the time in the world.
“Please,” I murmured.
With a slight jerk of his head, Rev reached forward to turn off the shower. After he got out, he turned back to grip me by the waist. He hoisted me into his arms and carried me out of the bathroom, then eased me gently down on the bed.
When he turned and started back toward the bathroom, I propped myself on my elbows and gazed at his retreating form. “What are you doing?” I called. I hoped he hadn’t changed his mind about giving in to me.
He returned with two large towels. Kneeling over me, he brought the soft cloth to my arm. After he dried me, he placed warming kisses on my skin. He repeated the process along my chest, taking extra time with my breasts, and then my other arm. By the time he finished with my lower body, I was drenched between my legs and aching for him. I’d barely given him time to dry himself off before I was grabbing his arm and dragging him closer to me. “What about a condom?”
I thought about all the testing I’d had in the hospital. Remarkably, my rapists and Mendoza hadn’t given me any STDs. “I’m clean,” I replied softly.
“So am I . . . as long as you trust me.”
I smiled up at him. “Of course I trust you.”
But when his body loomed over mine, a prickly panic crawled its way over my skin. Although I had managed to push my rapists out of my head, it seemed now that they had found a way to claw their way back in with the intent of ruining what I had with Rev. I am safe. I have a choice, and I choose this.
As if he sensed my growing panic, Rev rolled off me. When I started to protest that I wanted to continue, he gripped me by the hips and pulled me up to straddle him. “Take me, Annabel. You’re the one in control.”
Moisture tinged my eyes at his words and his offering. He wanted to do everything within his power to enable me to conquer this first time. I rose up to grip his erection in my trembling hand. When I brought it to my center, I momentarily faltered when I began to take him inside me.
Rev’s hands sought mine. After intertwining our fingers, he said, “Look at me, babe. It’s only me and you here. Only love.”
Gazing into his determined eyes, I found the courage I needed. I eased farther down on his cock, taking him deeper inside me. Once I was full of him, I sat for a moment, just staring at him. “I love you,” he murmured.
“I love you, too,” I whispered. As I looked into his beautiful blue eyes, I realized it was just the two of us in this room—him and me. Two people who loved each other with all their flaws and weaknesses. I wasn’t having sex with a stranger; I was being made love to. It wasn’t a harsh and vile act forced upon me without my consent. I welcomed the feel of his hands, his fingers, and his tongue on my skin. Most of all, I was taking his cock into my body, not having him take me. His expression wasn’t cruel or vicious. Instead, it was filled with lust, love, and a possession of a different type. Because of all those things, I could do this. I wanted this.
I rose up and came back down on him. The feeling of being with him was overwhelming. It was a connection of mind, body, and soul on a level I had never experienced before.
As I sped up the tempo of my movements, I released Rev’s hands so that I could place my palms on his chest. He groaned in pleasure as I rode him harder and faster. He was so beautiful laid out before me, his eyes closed, his teeth biting into his lip.
He raised his hips to meet mine, our slick skin meeting in a desperate rhythm. I had never come through sex before, and after what had happened to me, I doubted I ever would. But when Rev’s hand came to stroke and tease my clit, I felt a building pressure I had never experienced before with a man inside me.
The harder I rode Rev, the harder he stroked me. I dug my fingernails into his chest as I felt the tiny shudders of an orgasm. It wasn’t the same as the ones in the shower, but it was still momentous to me. Tears stung my eyes at the realization of how wonderful it had been. And as Rev’s orgasm had him calling out my name and coming inside me, I collapsed onto his chest, my head falling against his rapidly beating heart.
EIGHTEEN
REV
I had been with a lot of women. Most of them I knew, but then there were some whose names I didn’t even know. I had also had all kinds of sex, but until I was with Annabel, I had never made love to a woman before. I’d never known the connection that could be made between two people through the joining of their bodies. If I could have, I would have stayed inside Annabel the entire night. Nothing had ever felt better than having her tight walls around me.
As we lay in the dark, I could tell Annabel’s mind was spinning with thoughts. She had just conquered the mental equivalent of climbing Mount Everest. I knew she had gotten physical pleasure out of it, but the body can be convinced to react even if the mind is in turmoil. More than anything in the world, I wanted her to be okay with what had just happened to her and between us.
Turning to her, I asked, “What are you thinking about?”
“It’s silly, really.”
“Don’t undermine your feelings that way,” I argued.
She gave a little snort of a laugh. “You sound just like my therapist.”
With a smile, I said, “Then tell Dr. Rev what you’re feeling.” Nudging her thigh with my leg, I added, “No matter how silly or strange you think it is.” When she still remained silent, I couldn’t help asking her about what was on my own mind. “Do you regret what we just did?”
Her eyes widened. “No. Never.”
“I’ll understand if you’re having second thoughts.”
Annabel shook her head. “That was the most fulfilling sexual experience of my life.” She ducked her gaze from mine like something was embarrassing her. “The truth is that was the first orgasm I’ve ever had when a guy was inside of me.”
While my chest swelled with male pride, I fought to keep my face clear of any dickhead smirking. “Really?”
Annabel grinned. “Go ahead. Pat yourself on the back. You know you want to.”
I laughed. “My inner caveman is beating his chest.” I leaned down to kiss her tenderly. “Most of all, I’m proud of you for conquering your fears and being able to enjoy yourself.”
“Thank you, Rev. Thank you for everything, but most of all for loving me.”
“Now, what was it you were so lost in thought about?”
She propped one of her hands on her elbow and stared into my eyes. “I was just wondering if you ever had to conquer sex like I just did.”
“That’s not a silly question at all. All vict
ims of rape and molestation have to go through separating their past from their present, including me.”
“What happened with you?” she questioned softly.
Although I really didn’t want to dredge up painful memories of the past, I was willing to do it for Annabel. “I was always really shy and awkward around girls even before I was raped, so afterward, I kind of retreated into myself. Each time I wanted to ask a girl out, I would worry that I was a less of a man because of what had happened. When I was sixteen, I had yet to kiss a girl, so my father took it upon himself to have one of the club whores teach me about sex.”
Annabel gasped in shock. “Like a prostitute?”
“Well, she didn’t get paid for it, and she certainly wanted to deflower me.” I chuckled when I thought back to being that scared but horny-as-hell sixteen-year-old. “Apparently there were a lot of the girls who wanted to get their hands on me, but she won the luck of the draw.”
“Really?”
I nudged her playfully. “You act so surprised that I had women clamoring to get in my pants, yet you wanted to do me,” I countered with a grin.
She giggled. “I didn’t mean it to come out that way. I can certainly see why you had so many women wanting you.” She leaned forward to bestow a kiss on my lips. When she pulled away, she blushed.
“What is it?”
“I was just wondering how it was.”
“With the club whore?”
“Yes.”
“For a sixteen-year-old kid who practically had calluses from jacking off, it was pretty fucking amazing.”
“Ew!” Annabel squealed, wrinkling her nose.
“You asked,” I countered.
“I kinda wish now I hadn’t.”
“Looking back, I can call it amazing, but at the time, it was also really awkward. Really the only thing that improved it for me was practice.”
Cocking her head at me, Annabel asked, “Did you try practicing until you were perfect?”
“Hmm, you think I’m perfect, huh? I think my caveman is going to beat my chest in with pride.”
