We were all startled by Barrett throwing his head back and barking out a deep, full-bodied laugh. It went on for longer than was necessary, until things grew tense and awkward. For the first time, I saw wetness in his eyes, but it wasn’t for any reason other than he took joy in people’s despair. Not exactly an admirable quality. When he’d gotten control over himself, he spoke, his voice seeming to boom through the small level of the house.
“Could have made any call in the damn world, and you call to check on your damn dog. A dog,” he chuckled out. “That about takes the fucking cake.”
“Barrett, give it a rest.” I went to him and glared up at the much larger man. “Just, seriously. Give. It. A. Rest.”
My words had zero effect on him, or the stars of laughter floating around in his eyes.
Chapter Four.
Rose
I stared at the phone for a couple of seconds, feeling—and rightly so—that it was the only possible lifeline to my parents I might get for a very long time. If not ever. But I was also afraid. Afraid to call and find out if they were dead or alive. Afraid to hear their voices, their crying, their sadness and grief that I was so far away when I should have been at home with them instead of in this horror movie.
“Go on, Rose,” Sam said, and I glanced across at her. “Call home.”
I nodded and picked up the phone, the humming on the other end prompting me on. I started to dial and then realized I hadn’t put in the dialing code and I quickly fished my small purse from my pocket and pulled out the slip of card I had jotted it down on before I’d set off. I had always intended to phone home, of course. I had just intended it to be a much happier phone call than this.
With shaking hands, I punched in the long series of digits and I waited, listening to the constant ringing tone on the other end. I had turned my back to the room, but I knew by their silence that they were all waiting to see if my mum or dad picked up too.
After a long series of rings the phone cut off and I hung up. My chin quivered as I held a shaking hand over the phone, eager to try again. But I knew it was no good; they weren’t there. For whatever reason. Those reasons, those dark possibilities, tried to edge into my brain. I fought them back. If I went down that rabbit hole, if I thought about where my parents might be…
I turned back around and moved away from the phone, heading back to the kitchen counter for something more to eat.
“Rose,” Sam called my name.
“It’s okay. They’re okay,” I replied, and carried on towards the kitchen.
I stood by the granite counter, my palms placed on it as I hunched my shoulders and bit my bottom lip to stop myself crying.
“It’s okay. They’re okay,” I whispered to myself. “Pull yourself together, Rose.”
“Hey.” Leon’s voice came from behind me, and I took a breath and stood up before turning and smiling at him. “I’m sure they’re fine,” he said. Right then I hated him for that. I hated him for trying to make it seem like it was okay when it wasn’t. None of this was okay.
It was okay for me to try to lie to myself, but for someone else to do it just felt awful—like a cruel joke they were playing on me.
“Yeah, I’m sure they’re just great,” I replied, my voice tinged with bitterness.
“Jesus, it’s not my fault, Rose!” he snapped back, his eyes flaring at me.
I scowled back, having a hundred things to say to him right then, but bit my tongue. Because arguing wasn’t going to get us anywhere. We were all tired, worried, hungry, and so many other emotions. Leon was spoiling for a fight, and though I wasn’t normally one to shy away from one, I also wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. I wasn’t stupid either. I had seen the disappointment in him that I had pulled away from him once I realized he liked me. But it was ridiculous and childish. I had no intention of getting involved with anyone right now. This was not the time or the place. This was the end of the bloody world as we knew it, for Christ’s sake! I was thousands of miles away from home, with no family around me and surrounded by flesh-hungry zombies. The fact that anyone could think about anything other than surviving right then was ridiculous.
I turned away from him and picked up a crisp from the bowl. It was cheese flavor and I hated cheese flavor. It seemed like the entire world was against me at the moment.
“Urghhh, I hate cheese,” I grumbled.
“Seems you hate a lot of things,” he quipped.
I turned back around, crisp in hand. “Especially cheese-flavored crisps and silly wankers like you, who think I owe them something.”
Whoops, I guess my mouth didn’t get the memo on keeping my thoughts to myself.
Leon’s expression darkened. “You’re a tease. We had something and you just flipped a switch and gave me the brushoff because you moved on to someone new.”
I popped the crisp in my mouth and crunched down on it. It was cheesy and gross, but I held Leon’s dark glare while I ate it, hoping to give myself some time to think of exactly what I wanted to say to him in a more rational way.
“No,” I finally said, “I’m not a tease. I don’t want anything with anyone right now. There are dead people outside of the door, eating people alive! Or has that slipped your fucking mind?”
“That’s bes—”
“No, Leon! It’s not beside any point. It’s exactly the point. I felt close to you, but when I sensed you wanted more I pulled away, because that’s not what I’m interested in.”
He snorted out a laugh. “And what are you interested in? Or should I say who?”
I narrowed my eyes at him as Nolan and Sam came into the kitchen, no doubt drawn by the raised voices. “The only thing I’m interested in right now is surviving. Staying alive! I want to make it home to see my mum and dad again, because unlike you, I do have family. A family that loves me, and right now they’re either dead or worried sick that I’m dead. So I have to survive. I have to live, because if I don’t…” My voice shook and tears filled my eyes. “Because if I don’t, I won’t ever be able to say sorry to my mum and dad.”
Sam came to me, pulling me into her arms, and I let it all go. I cried harder than I had done in years. It wasn’t like the crying I had done with Sam downstairs in the small garage. This was full-on breakdown mode. Guilt was swallowing me whole. It had been since the flight had devolved into terror, but now that we were in that house, surrounded by normal, everyday things, the full reality hit me, and guilt was dealing its crushing blow.
I don’t know how long I cried for, but when I stopped I felt weak, drained from it. And Sam and I were alone in the small kitchen. I went to the kitchen sink and turned a tap. Water came out, and I began to silently splash my face. Then, after a small splutter, the water stopped running. Habit made me turn the tap off.
“Shit, the water’s gone.” I turned back around, looking at Sam.
She was pale, her pink eyes wide as she watched me.
She looked hungry.
Fuck.
She looked really hungry.
Her breathing was rapid and a light sweat was on her brow again. Her hands were fisting at her sides as she stared at me.
“Sam?” I said her name, hoping that she would hear me. I slowly reached for the gun at my waist, hating that this was happening at all, but to Sam especially. “Sam?”
She blinked and let out a breath through her nose. “It’s okay, I’m okay,” she said, one hand going to her stomach and squeezing. “I’m okay, Rose, honestly.”
“What’s going on with you?” I asked, still not wanting to get any closer to her for fear that she might try and eat me and I’d have to kill her. God, this whole thing was seriously messed up.
“Nothing, I just felt a little sick is all. I think it’s just exhaustion and hunger. This past couple of days finally getting to me.” She gave a small laugh.
I could relate to that, especially after my mini-breakdown only moments ago. And she did seem fine now. Maybe I had just imagined it all.
I nodded an okay. “H
ow pissed off was Leon?” I asked her, trying to ignore the fear tickling up my spine. “I said some seriously horrible things to him.” Yet more guilt to load on to the pile.
Sam shrugged. “He looked more angry than anything else. He’s not…stable right now, Rose. And I’m not sure if the problem really is his delusions of a relationship with you, or if he’s just not the kind of person that can cope with shit like this.” She crossed her arms, frowning. “I mean, none of us have been through something like this, but some people are just mentally stronger than others. He’s choosing anger and he’s projecting it onto you. The way he’s feeling is no one’s doing but his own, but you need to be careful.”
I nodded. “Anger I can deal with.” I headed back towards the kitchen door and Sam followed as we went back into the lounge. Everyone was sat on the large sofas spotted about the room, their moods somber. Barrett was in a large reclining armchair, his eyes closed and his arms crossed as he slept. Leon glanced over but quickly looked away.
Nolan looked up as I walked in, his expression full of concern. I sat on a chair opposite him, needing to be near him because he made me feel safe.
“You good?” he asked, his thick, gruff voice soothing me in a way I didn’t want to acknowledge.
“I am now. I think I just needed to get it all out. I’m going to try my parents again in a little bit.”
He nodded. He looked like he had more to say but wasn’t sure how to say it, and after a fumbling few seconds he gave up on whatever it was.
“All right, if we’re going to stay here for the night, we need to work out a schedule. Someone needs to be on watch at all times, but we all need to get some sleep.” He spoke in his no-nonsense way that made even Barrett crack an eye open.
“I’m sleeping, so don’t go giving me any chores to do.” And with that Barrett turned on his side and went back to sleep.
“Charming,” Karla replied. “I’d like to go on first watch. I’m too antsy to sleep yet anyway.”
Nolan nodded. “Anyone else want to go first? I don’t mind doing it—”
“I’ll do it,” Leon said bluntly.
“All right, well, let’s everyone else try and get cleaned up and then get some rest. It’s been a shitty day and tomorrow, more than likely, ain’t gonna be no better,” Nolan said, cracking his knuckles like he was already preparing for a fight.
“The water’s off,” I said, my voice still sounding raw from crying. “I just tried it in the kitchen and it’s gone.”
“Shit, we’ll need to check supplies for rationing ASAP then,” Nolan said.
“I’ll do that too,” Leon said, and stomped off towards the kitchen.
“Kandace and Benji wouldn’t mind us borrowing some of their clothes to change into, as long as we keep the place nice and tidy-like.” Karla stood up and started out of the room. “Kandace is a real clean freak, so make sure we tidy up after ourselves. Put your dirty clothes in the clothes hamper and she’ll get those stains right out.” Her voice drifted off as she made her way upstairs, and I looked at Sam and smirked.
Karla was dreaming if she thought I would ever want to wear these clothes again, stains or no stains. Sam, for her part, was looking down at the polyester-blend black running suit she wore with a half-smile, possibly glad at the prospect of stripping out of something so opposite of the pale, high-quality dress she’d been wearing when we’d first met.
Nolan, Sam, and I headed out of the room, trailing after Karla’s voice. As we walked upstairs, I felt Nolan’s hand on the bottom of my back and I swallowed nervously. It wasn’t true what I had said to Leon. Well, not entirely. I wasn’t interested in any sort of relationship right then. Thanks a lot, apocalypse. But I also couldn’t deny the way Nolan made me feel.
Safe.
Protected.
Respected.
And the fact that whenever I was near him my stomach clenched tightly.
At the top of the stairs, Karla popped her head out of one of the bedrooms. “Right in here!” she said cheerily, like we were all there for a friendly sleepover and not forced there by way of the undead crawling the country.
Karla was already pulling out clothes from the wardrobe and piling them up on the bed for us when I walked in. “Grab what you need. Kandace loves to exercise, so everything should fit you two girls.” She turned and looked at Nolan. “Hmmm, Benji is smaller than you, so whatever I give you or Barrett will be too small, but it’s better than staying in those grubby things, right?”
She turned back to the wardrobe as Sam and I rummaged through the clothes on the bed. I grabbed a pair of Lycra leggings and a white tank top.
“You should cover your arms,” Nolan said to me, though I suspected he was talking to both me and Sam, and we both nodded.
I grabbed a zip-up jacket too, and headed to the door so I could find somewhere to get changed; Sam followed close behind, her arms loaded with jeans, a silky-looking top, and a blazer—not exactly Armageddon fighting attire.
“Socks!” Karla called, and I turned and grabbed a pair that she threw to me. “Clean socks are important,” she mumbled, tossing a second pair towards Sam, and then she turned back around to find Nolan something to wear, all the while muttering to herself.
Sam trailed after me and I somehow found a large bathroom for us to change into. It didn’t bother me getting undressed in front of another woman, especially not Sam, yet as we both stripped off I couldn’t help but feel more and more vulnerable. She had a figure to die for—soft curves, a trim waist, and flawless skin…whereas I was short, and softer around the middle and thighs.
I looked away when she looked up, embarrassed to be staring at her.
“I was a dancer,” she said, her voice soft. “Before all this. Didn’t I tell you that? No…” Her voice trailed off. “A ballet dancer. Even the chance to be a Prima at one point. My whole life has revolved around rehearsals, and practice, and eating the right foods, and never gaining weight because that would kill your career as surely as a break would. And men…” She laughed, but it wasn’t a happy laugh. “So many wrong men. The culmination of which was Travis.”
I looked back at her. “Barrett doesn’t seem like a better choice.”
She snorted out a laugh and I found myself laughing with her. “I know, I don’t know what’s going on with that. My dad was the best. Through him, I had a great role model for what a man should be like. Yet”—she shrugged—“Barrett’s an asshole, right?”
“Total wanker,” I laughed, stripping my legs of the gory dungarees I was wearing, which was a shame since they had been my favorite pair. “I mean, he’s fit though. I’ll give you that.”
“Fit?” she laughed.
“Hot,” I replied. “Dark, mysterious, and sexy, in a ‘I’ll probably give you the best orgasm of your life and then rob you blind’ kind of way.”
We both laughed and shook our heads. I pulled on the leggings, wishing I could have showered first but knowing it was impossible.
“What about you?” Sam asked, and I looked up at her. “What did you do back in England?”
I shrugged. “Not much to tell, really. I’d just finished a degree in accounting, just like my mum and dad. In fact, I was supposed to be starting work at their firm this summer, but then I upped and ran.” I sighed. “I didn’t really have much of a life apart from studying though.”
“Are you close to your parents?” Sam asked, threading her arms through her sleeves.
“Yeah, I mean, as close as any twenty-one-year-old can be. I love them, of course, but they are very crowding.” I gave a sad smile. “We lost my brother when he was just a toddler, and it made my parents very clingy towards me. I just wanted to please them, make them happy, so I was the good little girl and the good little student, and then…I don’t know. This past month I just wanted more, I guess. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to be an accountant, or if I was just doing it for them, you know?”
I stared down at my feet, knowing that was a lie. I had always kno
wn I didn’t want to be an accountant. I had a wildness inside me that had been begging to be released for as far back as I could remember. Sitting in an office all day staring at numbers was not what I wanted to do.
Sam nodded. She sat down on the side of the bath in her clean clothes, looking perfectly at ease in the tight jeans. “I completely understand that. I’ve spent my whole life trying to please men. First my daddy, which I really didn’t mind. I’d have done anything for him, and we both loved dancing so much. But then my boyfriends…then my husband. I was hoping to try and please myself for a bit.” She sighed, crossing her arms and hugging herself loosely.
“You’re married?” I asked, then nodded. “Right, I remember you mentioning your honeymoon. God, it didn’t even dawn on me then.”
Sam shook her head. “Yeah. Coming back from my solo honeymoon. From one personal disaster to literally a world of disaster.” She sighed. “I think I’m finally starting to discover the woman I was supposed to be though. I was so sad at first, but now I think we were never meant to be, never right for each other. It took all of this happening to really make me accept that. I’m still not properly divorced from Travis, of course. There hasn’t been time, and now…What if he’s not even alive anymore? Is it bad that I don’t care? I really don’t care.”
I picked up the tank top and pulled it over my head before slipping the jacket over my shoulders. “It’s not bad, Sam. For me? I just wanted to find out who I really was. Without any expectations, or any guilt or…” I shook my head sadly. “And now I’m here.” I gestured around the pretty floral bathroom. “I’m such an idiot.”
Sam came and stood next to me. “I don’t think you’re an idiot. I think that you’re brave, and clever, and one of the kindest people I’ve ever met.”
My eyes filled, but I refused to cry again. “You’re like a sappy Hallmark card.” I snickered and she laughed with me.
Nolan knocked on the bathroom door. “You two girls ready for bed?”
“Yes, Daddy!” Sam snarked, and we both burst out laughing.
“What?” Nolan replied, which only made us laugh more.
Red Eye | Season 1 | Episode 4 Page 5
