by Alix Kelso
“I’d better get back to the pub and organise my troops. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at eleven, how does that sound?”
“That sounds fine.”
At the door, he turned and laid his hand on her arm. “I’m looking forward to this, Chrissie. We’ll have a great time together.”
“I hope so.”
The violet sparks were in her eyes again. Keith moved closer and kissed her. He liked how she tasted, her lips soft and sweet like those beautiful cakes that she baked.
“See you tomorrow,” he said.
When she waved him off at the door, the smile she gave him was luminous and Keith basked in it all the way back to The Crooked Thistle.
23
Chrissie checked the time on the clock on her bedside table. It was almost two in the morning and she’d been lying awake for ages, tossing and turning. On the other side of the bedroom, a small suitcase lay on the floor, filled with the things she’d packed for the overnight trip with Keith.
An overnight trip with a man she’d only just met. She must be out of her mind. No wonder she couldn’t sleep.
Rising from the bed, Chrissie pulled on her robe before creeping quietly downstairs. In the kitchen, she filled the kettle, and as it boiled she drummed her fingers against the counter.
Was she really going to do this? And why had she agreed to it in the first place? It wasn’t like her to be so spontaneous.
Maybe that’s exactly why you need to do this, whispered a voice inside her head. Not everything can be planned and organised and mapped out like your cake recipes.
Chrissie added milk to her tea and sat at the kitchen table. The accounts she’d been working on were stacked to one side next to her laptop and baking books. Those were the things she ought to be spending the next twenty-four hours on, instead of gallivanting around with a strange man.
Except Keith wasn’t strange, and she was wrong to try and convince herself that they hardly knew each other. Somehow, in a way she didn’t fully understand, she did know him. The pieces had begun clicking between them that first evening they’d sat together in the park beneath the cherry blossoms. She might not know a lot about him, but he felt familiar and comfortable in a way that didn’t make a lot of sense.
And he excited her. It had been a long time since she’d felt excitement because of a man. The few men she’d had in her life after Steven hadn’t exactly set her emotions on fire. Which was probably exactly why she’d chosen them. They were safe and essentially harmless. Bloodless, if she was being unkind. But that had been okay. They’d been interesting enough to spend time with, but never so interesting that she came close to feeling anything much about them. And when things ran their course, well, that had been fine, too, because she hadn’t been invested.
But Keith McGraw was different, and she’d known it from that first night in the park. He felt different, and she felt different when she was with him. Something had sparked inside her that had been dormant for too long. And when he’d cancelled their dinner plans at such short notice, it had hurt.
Which was why agreeing to go on this trip was dangerous. Keith McGraw, she realised, had the power to hurt her. And ever since Steven abandoned her on their wedding day, Chrissie simply hadn’t allowed herself to be in a situation where a man had any power to cause her any hurt whatsoever. She’d been through something terrible once before, and didn’t plan on going through it ever again. Finding herself a pregnant, jilted bride had forced her to become a steely, self-reliant woman. There had been no space in her life for risky romantic frivolities.
As she sipped her tea, Chrissie glanced at the dresser that displayed some of her favourite plates and dishes, alongside the bakery knick-knacks she’d collected over the years. Framed photographs sat tucked on the shelves, capturing some of the loveliest moments she cherished in her life – a five-year-old Alison playing at the beach with her bucket and spade; Chrissie, Alison and Irene gathered around the Christmas tree; Poppy in Alison’s arms just hours after she’d been born, Gregor gazing in awe at his new daughter. Chrissie treasured each photograph. Family was everything, even when they were driving her up the wall.
Chrissie moved to the dresser and opened the cupboard at the bottom. Reaching in, she shuffled through boxed board games and old appliance manuals and other bits and pieces of household detritus until she found what she was looking for – a small photograph packet almost entirely hidden at the back of the shelf. Even as she pulled it out and studied the age-speckled cover, she wondered why she was doing it.
Opening the packet, Chrissie looked at the first photograph inside. It showed a young bride in her wedding dress, her smile radiant as her mother helped fix her veil into place. A lump came to her throat. Had that really been her in that beautiful dress? She looked so impossibly happy, on the cusp of joining her groom and becoming a married woman, or so she’d thought. Chrissie remembered the nerves and excitement she’d felt that day as Irene had fussed over her wedding gown. She’d been a bride about to walk down the aisle and marry the man she loved. It had been utterly exhilarating.
Irene had been the one to get the photographs developed, a few weeks after Steven had run off and everything had ended in shocked humiliation. Chrissie had told Irene she was mad, that there was no way she’d ever want to look at those photographs of herself in that wedding dress, waiting for her rendezvous with heartbreak. But Irene had insisted that she’d one day want to see these pictures – not to remember the hurt, but to remember what she’d looked like that day, and to remember what it had felt like to have such soaring hope inside her heart.
It was only years later that Chrissie even remembered the photographs existed, when she’d been packing up and getting ready to move into her new house. Alison had been ten by then, and Chrissie’s life was so busy with work and single parenthood that it never occurred to her to think much about the radiant bride she’d once been. But she’d found the packet tucked into a forgotten box of old paperbacks, and as she’d looked at the photos, she’d realised her mother had been right to save them. The pain had been blunted over time and it was strangely reassuring to look at that young woman in her wedding dress and know that she had once been filled with hope and joy and…
…and trust. She’d trusted Steven, and that had been her mistake. Never again had she trusted anyone with her heart. She’d thrown herself into raising Alison and earning a living, and then setting up her own business. These things had consumed her. Putting Alison first and making sure she was happy and cared for had been her only focus in life, and that was as it should be. Then her cake shop had taken over her attentions once Alison no longer needed them quite so much. There had never been the time, nor the need, to question whether she ought to trust a man again. That naive young bride in the photograph had trusted too much and it had ended in disaster.
And yet Chrissie still remembered what it felt like to trust a man that way. It had felt like soaring high in the sky with no fear of falling.
But she had fallen. Could she fall again? Almost certainly, because Keith McGraw was already pulling her up into the air. Her feet had left the ground and the sheer joy of it was completely intoxicating. Here she was, just a few hours away from leaving with him for a night alone together. Was she simply looking for some fun with an attractive man who made her laugh? Or was there something more?
She already knew the answer to that question, insane though that answer might be.
But it was the wee hours of the morning when the mind played tricks on the sleepless. She was over-thinking all of this. Returning the old photographs to where they belonged, Chrissie reminded herself that all she was doing was going away with Keith for a night of good food and good company. She didn’t have to start thinking about what any of this might mean, or what she might be beginning to feel for this man, or whether he might be beginning to feel something for her, too. She hadn’t thought about any of those things in the past when she’d had a man in her life. There was no reason it should be an
y different now.
Except that it was. It just was.
Shaking her head, Chrissie returned to bed. She feared that sleep would continue to elude her, but the moment her head hit the pillow, she was already drifting off.
“You’ll phone if there’s any problem?” Chrissie asked, wheeling her suitcase to the front door.
“Yes, for the millionth time, Mum, I’ll call if there’s a problem,” Alison said as she helped Poppy with a spoonful of mashed banana. “But there won’t be a problem.”
“And I’m here if there is a problem,” Irene added from her spot at the sink where she was washing dishes. “Just go and have a good time, and don’t start any silly fretting.”
“I’m not fretting,” Chrissie said when she returned to the kitchen. “I’m being mindful of the potential for disaster when I’m not here to avert it. Gregor isn’t allowed to touch anything in this house while I’m gone.”
“He knows,” Alison said.
“He’s not allowed to do anything DIY-related.”
“He knows.”
Chrissie looked in her handbag, checked she had her purse, her phone, her keys. All were still there since she’d last checked five minutes ago.
“The last cake collection at the shop should be around ten tomorrow morning. Saturdays are always busiest first thing. After that, you can close up. Don’t forget to pin the notice on the door, the one I printed out so that any passing customers know that—”
“I know what to do, Mum,” Alison said, wiping Poppy’s mouth and removing the plate of banana. “Just go and have a good time.”
“I need to make sure you know that—”
“For God’s sake, Chrissie,” Irene said. “Forget about the cake shop. Forget about the house. Forget about us. Go and have fun.”
Outside on the street, a car horn beeped. Chrissie felt a flutter of excitement in her belly as she walked quickly to the front door and peered out the pane of glass.
“He’s here.”
“See you tomorrow,” Irene said. “There’s no need to hurry back.”
Chrissie opened the door, but turned back before she stepped outside. “Promise me you’ll look after this place, Alison. After everything that’s happened these last few days, I must be mad to leave the two of you here in my house.”
“They’ll be fine,” Irene said firmly. “I’ll see to it.”
Knowing that her mother would be popping in to provide some adult supervision reassured her. But a tiny niggle of worry squirmed in Chrissie’s belly just the same.
“Go!” Irene finally said, shooing Chrissie down the front step.
Chrissie walked to the street where Keith was opening the car boot for her luggage. Once the suitcase was stowed, he gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“All set?”
“All set,” she agreed.
Keith waved to her assembled family and opened the passenger door for her before getting behind the wheel.
“I was worried I’d get here and find you’d changed your mind.”
“I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t occurred to me.” She peered back at her house. “After all the mishaps in my house this past week, I’m terrified that there won’t be any house for me to come back to tomorrow.”
Keith nodded. “If you think you need to stay, I understand, Chrissie. This was a last minute thing, and—”
“No, let’s go,” Chrissie said firmly. “And let’s go now before I talk myself out of it.”
Laughing, Keith pulled away from the kerb and Chrissie waved at her family, watching as her mother and Alison and Poppy grew smaller and then disappeared altogether from view.
A terrible sense of foreboding suddenly gripped her.
“Are you okay?” Keith asked, a worried frown at his brow.
“I’m fine.”
And she was fine, she decided, pushing away the ridiculous thoughts. She had to let go. She had to take some time for herself. And she had to let Alison and her family take some time for themselves, too. It would be ridiculous to spend this trip worrying about what might be going on back there – because nothing would be going on back there. Irene would see to it.
Chrissie let out a breath and forced away the anxiety.
“We’re going to have a good time,” Keith said as he steered the car through the city. “We deserve a break.”
“Never a truer word spoken.” A thought occurred to her and she laughed. “I only just realised I haven’t the slightest idea where we’re going.”
Keith frowned. “I told you, didn’t I?”
“You said we were going to a distillery up north, and that’s the extent of my knowledge.” Chrissie didn’t add that she could scarcely believe she’d agreed to this without knowing absolutely everything there was to know about it in advance. It wasn’t like her, and the realisation that she was now en route to a destination entirely unknown came as a shock.
“We’re going to the Glenhannah Distillery, just inside the Cairngorms National Park,” Keith informed her as they climbed the motorway entrance ramp. “There’s a couple of hours driving ahead of us, if the traffic’s kind. The hotel’s in a nearby village, and there’s a view of the hills from the bar. You’ll love it.”
“I’m sure I will.”
Keith glanced her way. “That first night we sat in the park, and you were drinking that terrible wine, I said you should come into my pub sometime and I’d pour some whiskies that would make you think twice about what you chose to drink in future.”
“And I might have taken you up on the offer if we’d actually had any luck getting together so far.”
“It never occurred to me we’d end up doing this instead. I’m looking forward to this night away and to enjoying a few whiskies and a good meal. But most of all, I’m looking forward to spending some time with you.”
Chrissie watched him for a long minute. He looked relaxed as he drove, his big hands resting on the steering wheel, his shirt open at the neck. The aftershave he wore was deep and spicy and Chrissie found herself imagining pressing her lips against his skin to inhale the scent.
She cleared her throat. “How about some music?”
If Keith noticed her awkwardness, he didn’t let on as he turned on the radio. Soon, the city fell away and the land around them opened up into rolling fields. Chrissie relaxed into the drive, enjoying the music and the countryside.
“Are you excited about your wedding cake competition next week?” Keith asked.
“I am now that I’m close to mastering my cake design. In fact, if it hadn’t been for a major breakthrough yesterday, I wouldn’t have been on this trip at all. I don’t intend showing up at that competition with something that doesn’t look like I gave it my all.”
“This time last week you were cursing your mother for having put your name forward. And look at you now, ready for triumph.”
“It’s amazing how carried away a humble baker can get at the prospect of holding a winner’s trophy.”
Keith laughed and Chrissie smiled. He had such a good, rich laugh, and she wanted to hear more of it.
“How is Janice?” she asked, and immediately cursed herself. If she wanted to hear the man laugh, asking about his ex-wife wasn’t exactly guaranteed to make him do it.
But his good humour appeared to remain intact. “She’s fine. She’s still a mess, but possibly less of a mess than she was. In fact, she was as excited about me going on this trip as I was. She thinks we might make a good pair, you and me.”
He gave her a smile that sent a tingle down her spine. Ridiculous, she thought, turning away to look at the view. Ridiculous, but also delicious.
And yet it was selfish, too. The reality of what she was doing suddenly hit her. Alison needed her right now, and Poppy was becoming a handful, and Gregor was working all those long hours, and the three of them were crammed into one single bedroom, and it was no wonder they were feeling the pressure, and yet here she was going off on a trip and…
“Tell me what’s
on your mind,” Keith said, breaking her internal monologue.
“Nothing, I’m just enjoying this scenery,” Chrissie replied, gesturing to the open landscapes. When Keith gave her a look, she laughed and shook her head. “I’m that obvious?”
“Are you really worried something will happen to your house while you’re gone?”
“Not entirely. My mother’s keeping an eye on Gregor, and all the tools and DIY accessories have been removed from the premises.”
Keith laughed. “So, what’s troubling you?”
“If I tell you, it’ll sound like I’m moaning, and then you’ll wish you hadn’t asked me on this trip.”
“I honestly can’t think of anything you could do or say that would make me wish I hadn’t asked you to come with me.”
His mild tone caught her by surprise. How did he have the power to smooth out her sharp edges like that? And how could he have the power to charm her so easily when it seemed he wasn’t even trying?
Sighing, Chrissie watched the scenery fly by outside the car and waved a hand at nothing in particular.
“I’m feeling guilty for leaving my family, and so I’m convincing myself that they need me and that I’m being cruel and selfish by going away. It’s part and parcel of being a mother, no matter how old your child is. But there’s something else, too.”
She paused and glanced at Keith, and when he nodded for her to continue, she found herself putting into words the fear that had been taking shape in her mind.
“I’m scared that something’s gone wrong between Alison and Gregor and that their relationship might be in trouble. They’ve always been so happy together, but these past few weeks all I’ve heard is constant sniping and bickering between them. Alison’s usual good mood has evaporated, and when Gregor isn’t cheerfully destroying my house, he’s out working all the hours that God sends, and I’m terrified it’s because he wants to get away from her. And maybe from Poppy, too. Babies are lovely and sweet to begin with, but once you realise just how much work they’re going to be as toddlers…”
