by Jeff Adams
“I’d like to take the server completely offline,” Max said. “Until we can ensure its security, I’d rather not have anything publicly available that carries our critical materials.”
“Fine.” That answer was easy. “Do what you need to do to fully investigate how this happened and to make sure it can’t happen again. Let the delivery team know the best way to move code around in the short term if we need to.”
“Will do.” Max got up. “I’ll get that done now.”
He headed out, and I rubbed my forehead. A pounding headache formed behind my eyes. I couldn’t have seen this coming, and yet my brain ran at breakneck speed trying to figure out how I could’ve prevented it.
The company was already on shaky ground as we tried to win Atlas, and now they had no reason to trust us.
“I can tell what you’re thinking.” Tamara put her tablet down, stood, and went to the shelf where I kept a couple of bottles. She poured some bourbon for us. “No matter how much time you spent on work, you couldn’t have found this.”
She returned to the table and set a glass down. Wordlessly, I raised it to her and she did the same with her own. We downed the brown liquid. It burned and warmed as it went down.
“It doesn’t mean it’s not some kind of karma coming after me for letting my focus waver.”
“Really?” Her serious face broke to give me the smirk I’d seen a lot in college. “I’m sure the karma goddess has better things to do than come after you for maybe having a life outside of this place.”
She knew exactly the right thing to say, even if I didn’t fully believe it. My way of living worked for years, but when I tried to do things differently, something comes along that can wreck everything faster than not securing a client.
“Want to divide and conquer for the day?” I asked since I had no comeback for her take on karma.
“Let’s do it.” We picked up our tablets at the same time. She had her tapping finger ready to go. “I’ll huddle with P.R. next. We’re going to get a lot of questions from what was out there briefly, so I’ll make sure we’re buttoned up on responses. I’ll work with Donovan to create talking points too since we might both end up doing some interviews.”
I nodded. Tamara always ran with public relations because that was so much easier for her to manage. “I’ll get the details on the other clients affected and set up meetings. Let’s find out from Max what’s going to need to happen with the investigations too. No doubt one of us has to liaison with the agencies.”
“Let’s meet back here at twelve thirty and debrief.” She clicked off her tablet and got up. “We got this.”
She didn’t believe it even as she said it. We both needed to be more convincing to be able to sell that idea.
Tamara exited and left my door open, which was standard for when I was in here by myself.
I leaned back in my chair and let it tip back farther.
Pulling away even the slightest bit that I had had been a mistake. Even before this, the company hadn’t been as secure as it could’ve been.
How did I fool myself into thinking Kyle would be good for me? The focus needed to stay on work to ensure AMDD had a secure future—if any future at all.
I sat forward and grabbed my tablet. Bringing up Slack, I messaged Jack so he’d have instructions at the ready as soon as he arrived. Good morning. Please set meetings with each of the department heads for today. I want complete status reports. Also please get me a flight, leaving as late tonight as possible, to get me to New York so I can be in meetings first thing tomorrow.
I moved on to an email. I needed to schedule with Atlas to try to salvage the disaster. Emails needed to go out to the other clients on that server so I could talk to them as well.
The phone buzzed and brought me out of my message composition.
Kyle.
I shouldn’t, but I wanted to see him and have a moment to talk to somebody separated from this. And maybe get a hug. Kyle had a way of calming me by just being him.
Yet, the distraction possibility was too much.
Another buzz.
I flipped it face down on the table. A wave of sadness washed over me as I reconsidered it.
I wasn’t boyfriend material.
I was barely CEO material at the moment.
Writing the best email ever had my focus—something that let Atlas know we took the matter seriously. State and federal agencies were alerted and that the matter had my full attention.
Twenty-Three
Kyle
“Not a peep in two days?” Mom asked.
She sat across the kitchen island as we both drank coffee. One of our longest traditions was to get together once a week and have coffee or maybe hot chocolate.
We’d started the tradition during high school. There had been so much going as she worked and Bobby and I had sports and after-school stuff that she’d wanted to make sure there was time to catch up. She’d done the same with Bobby—and still did, but now it happened on FaceTime.
Mine would be on FaceTime soon probably. Our standing time was Sunday morning if I was in town. Austin dominated today’s conversation.
“He texted me late Thursday that he had to go to New York for an emergency meeting. He told me the company was having… How did he put it?” I thought back to the night we’d had together. “Difficulties. I’ve texted him and know he’s getting the messages because they change to read at some point.” The memories flooded in, and I wanted him back so bad in that moment. “That afternoon and night had been so perfect. I can’t imagine why he’d ghost me like this.”
I sounded more emotional than I’d intended, but I had a hard time holding back with Mom. It didn’t help that she fixed me with her best concerned look. Usually it was reserved for when I felt like I’d messed up a game. There were similarities, though, since I’d clearly done something wrong here.
“Maybe he’s not ignoring you. It could be he just got super busy and hasn’t been able to tell you yet. I will say that you two seemed to have a good connection. I know you haven’t seen each other very long, but… I’ve never seen you like that with anyone. Just the way you were when you were here. You two had a vibe.”
“Oh, Mom. A vibe? What does that even mean?” My face heated, and that meant at least a faint blush in my cheeks. Talking to Bobby about guys was weird enough sometimes, but with Mom…
“Now don’t go doing that. I know all of your moods, and honestly, I liked seeing this new version of happy on you.”
“New version of happy?” I grabbed another cinnamon roll from the box that I’d picked up on the way over. I took a bite so I didn’t have to talk.
She nodded. “There’s a particular way you are on the ice and when your content around me and Bobby. You had something else with Austin. You stole looks at him like I used to do with your father.”
Wow. Like her and Dad. That was a major compliment.
“Maybe it’s for the best. I told Bobby that I didn’t know what to do if… or I guess when… I move to Phoenix. Maybe Austin’s decided. I’d texted him the update on the trade. That could’ve been his tipping point.”
I took a sip to give myself a moment.
“I’m not going to defend his actions because going quiet is certainly rude.” She grabbed the coffee pot and topped us off. The lines deepened across her forehead as her concern increased, and that pushed a wave of sadness through me. I hadn’t meant to bring us down this morning.
“How did you know when you met Dad that he was, you know, the one?”
“The unhelpful answer is that I just knew.” Mom smiled, that one she saved for thinking about Dad. It used to have a sadness to it, but for the last five years or so, it was the smile of happy memories. “Have I ever told you how your dad and I met?”
I shook my head. I’d heard a lot of stories about the two of them as a couple but never how they met. How had I gone so long without that story?
“There was a band. Pretty popular one that played differ
ent places on campus. I’d gone out on a Thursday night. It was late because they had the closing slot. No one wanted to go with me, but I didn’t let that deter me. Admittedly not the best idea to go out to a bar, even on a safe campus, by myself super late. But I was young and stupid.”
She paused, drank some more coffee, and shifted her gaze out the glass doors that led to the patio, as if the memory was out there.
“The concert was great. I had fun. I danced. I sang along way too loudly. I didn’t drink because I had the good sense not to drink by myself and then have to drive back to the dorm. After the last song, I headed out. Somebody followed me. Something was creepy about the guy from the start. He wanted to treat me to a nightcap or something. I kept saying no and regretting some of my choices for the night.”
Tendrils of anger tickled the back of my brain. It didn’t matter that this had happened decades ago. Someone had messed with Mom, and I didn’t like that.
“The guy kept pushing and getting more frustrated. All of a sudden, your father showed up. He’d just gotten off work from the diner down the street. He got between me and the guy and told him that he needed to back off.” Laughter crept into her voice. “Your father in college was not the strong guy you boys knew. He was scrawny, a beanpole, and totally adorable.”
She put her hand over her mouth like she shouldn’t say that. I put my hand on her other one as she relived the moment. I knew she loved Dad; it radiated from her as she told the story.
“This guy was probably half a foot taller than Marcus and clearly worked out. But your dad had no hesitation. He stood his ground until the guy’s bluster wore out and he stalked off. He then introduced himself and asked if he could follow me home to make sure that guy didn’t. He didn’t leave until I was safely in the building.”
The tremor in her hand spoke to the emotion she felt.
“That’s amazing. I always knew he was good with people. He seemed to be able to handle any situation. I was aware of that even as a kid.”
She nodded. “That was your father. I didn’t even see him again for, like, three weeks. We ended up at the library at the same time. He was studying at one of the tables, and I went over with the intention of just thanking him again for his help and to see if I could buy him a coffee or something. As soon as he looked at me with those sky blue eyes… I felt it right here.” She put her free hand over her heart and patted her chest. “On our six-month anniversary, he said my smile at the library had undone him. It was love on second sight for us.”
God, I wished they were still together. Her wistful look made goose bumps form over my arms and threatened to push too many emotional buttons.
“How come you never told that before?”
She gave a slight shrug “Some memories seem more personal. But it answered your question, so it was time.” She shifted her hand from under mine to on top. “You’ll know when it happens. Trust me and trust yourself. You’ll know it at the very deepest fiber of your being. I know that’s cheesy, but it’s true.”
Damn. Austin had rooted himself pretty firmly in my heart. My practical side protested. It didn’t fit with me leaving or with the way he ran his life.
“If you have strong feelings for him, you need to let him know.” Like a mom, she knew exactly where my thoughts were. “You can both decide to break it off, but you can’t leave it hanging. You’ll both be miserable.”
I couldn’t argue with her logic or the battle going on in my head over what I wanted versus what I thought the right answer was.
“Remember, people spend time apart. Your father traveled a lot for work. Phoenix doesn’t have to be the end for you two. Let’s not forget, neither of you are exactly strapped for cash.” The amused, knowing look made me chuckle and shake my head. Mom was not subtle. “You could easily have a home here and there. There are a million ways it can work.”
“This is why I like coffee time—getting a ton of wisdom from Mom.”
“Anytime.” She put another cinnamon roll on each plate. I hadn’t even realized I’d managed to devour the one I’d had while she talked.
Mom talks solved so much. I needed to figure out what Austin and I meant to each other and how his silence factored into it.
Twenty-Four
Austin
Four days in New York and nothing to show for it. It didn’t matter how many meetings I had or how many documents I produced on our security and some of the initial findings from MC3, which agreed with our assessment of an attack from IPs in China that are often linked to industrial espionage. We learned a lot about upgrades to our systems to prevent and alert to such attacks, but it was too late.
Atlas refused to consider us further as a partner and continued to threaten legal action against AMDD since their proprietary information had been compromised.
I couldn’t blame them.
Infuriated didn’t begin to cover how our board of directors reacted. Tamara and I were under fire for not having better IT protocols and not doing a lot more to shore up our customer’s concerns.
The board was justified in their feelings. This could really sink the ship. Atlas wasn’t the only deal we’d hoped to close soon, but now we were distracted, cleaning up this mess instead of pushing forward. All of our prospects and clients now had reason to be suspect of how we protected relationships.
A message came up on my computer.
Damn.
I’d had my texts coming in on my screen to ensure I didn’t miss anything as I worked to stay in touch with clients and staff the past few days.
I miss you.
He’d sent that at least once a day, and sometimes he’d send other news too.
Given the time, he was probably still at the arena and in the locker room. I’d kept up with the game—another win for the team, including a goal for Kyle.
God, I missed him. Missed how I felt around him.
I’d needed the break to focus though. I couldn’t allow myself to get swept up again.
My heart took over and replied even while the work-obsessed side said not to.
I miss you too. I’m sorry I disappeared.
Three dots instantly appeared, and I waited for the words to come back.
OMG! It’s so good to hear from you. I thought you might never speak to me again. Where are you?
Talking over text made this an easier conversation.
About ninety minutes out from Detroit. Flying home from NYC.
I imagined Kyle in front of his locker, sitting on the bench, fresh out of the shower and wrapped in a towel as droplets of water cascaded down his chest.
Good trip? I hit the road tomorrow for a couple days, which you probably know. Want to come over after you land? Love to see you.
You played good tonight. Congrats on the goal. I added the hockey stick and net emojis while avoiding his invitation and question about the trip.
Thanks. Want to contribute here as long as I can.
Crap. He must be resigned to the idea at this point. He’d told me the latest from his agent before I’d left on this trip.
I’d been a shit boyfriend. I’d done nothing to reach out, see how he was, how his family was. Forget being a boyfriend, I didn’t act like a good friend. Period.
Keep it up. Your biggest fan appreciates it.
My lame response got me a simple smile emoji back.
Then he launched into something longer. The dots kept going. Sometimes they’d disappear for a moment and then start again. I waited him out.
Did I do something wrong? You’ve been quiet for days. I probably shouldn’t do this over text but the silence freaked me out. We had such a good night. Can we at least talk? I’d like to figure out what we are before the trade actually happens. If you still think there’s an us. You know I’ll be up for a few hours coming off the game and honestly I can sleep on the trip tomorrow. If you don’t want to come over, meet up for a late night breakfast?
Fuck.
I’d really done a number on him. I didn’t realize th
at behind all the simple hello texts he felt like this. More to beat myself up about alongside everything else.
Did I put myself out there for him tonight or did I defer until he got back? That would only buy me three or four days since it was only two East Coast games.
I owed both of us to make it tonight.
Late breakfast sounds good. I can come directly to your place if you want.
Cool! Look forward to seeing you. I’ll whip up pancakes using my mom’s recipe so they’ll be hella good. Spoiler alert: there’s bacon inside. See you in a couple hours or so.
Bacon infused pancakes. Well damn.
I’ll be there as fast as I can. I capped that off with an airplane, car, and smiley emoji.
At least if our relationship ended, it’d be over what I imagined would be an amazing meal.
I didn’t know how we could keep this going. I didn’t know how to be the man Kyle deserved. With the trade, at least he’d be in a new place to start again. Although that meant no family around him, which he’d hate.
I couldn’t think about this without making my head hurt with regret.
The more I considered it, the more I didn’t know how we’d escape with our hearts intact.
Twenty-Five
Kyle
He’d responded!
After so many days, a single sentence postgame somehow shook out a response.
And what the hell was I doing, pouring my heart out in a text?
We needed to talk. Was this the right way to go?
Neutral territory might’ve been a better idea than my kitchen.
Time ticked down. My defenses had to be up so I wouldn’t say a bunch of nice things and then convince him to make out—which I really wanted. A serious talk had to happen though.
