by Harms, C. A.
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Epilogue
Bonus
About the Author
Also by C. A. Harms
Prologue
“Yes, I understand that part.” I laugh at the antics of my best friend as I held the phone to my ear. “But what exactly did you do, or say, to get him to go off like that?”
She continued to ramble as I glanced to my left then my right to ensure the path was clear before I started to cross the road.
“You need to stop dating,” I tell her, and she gasps as if that was the worst thing I could ever say to her. “You are the worst girlfriend in the history of relationships, I swear. You are the female version of my brother and just so we’re clear, that is nowhere near a compliment.”
“I am not.” I can almost imagine her fighting laughter. She knows every word I’ve spoken is true.
“Okay fine,” I tell Naomi, shifting my bag on my shoulder. I know she will never admit I am right. “You aren’t the worst, but you need to stop playing these guys off one another. Sometimes you worry me, because you fall so easily into the male stereotype in all these relationships entirely too well. These men become freakishly insane over it.”
“Does it make me completely crazy that I enjoy every minute of it?” She laughs, I’m sure because she understands just how ridiculous her games are when it comes to dating.
“Okay fine, whatever.” I press my lips together in a tight line and decide its best I say nothing at all.
“When are you coming home?”
“I’m walking to my car now.” I could already see my car in the parking lot ahead. “Do you want me to pick up anything?”
“Milkshakes.”
“Chocolate?”
“Yes.” I start digging in my bag for my keys as I continue walking. “With extra whip cream. Last time they tried to cheat me out of cream, and you know how much I love cream.”
I chuckle because I was more than sure she had a gleam in her eyes as she spoke. Naomi was a pervert with a capitol P. Everything she said in one way or another had a hidden innuendo referring to something sexual. “Wow perve, I’ll make sure they give you an overflow of cream.”
The call ends, her saying yum in a purr and I tuck the phone into my bag just before rounding the front of my car.
“Hi Tinley.”
My body grows rigid when I hear the raspy voice I’m familiar with but had hoped to never hear again. I eyeball the distance to the driver’s door, wondering if I’ll make it without being caught. When I see the red rose pinned beneath the wiper of my car, I feel my hands begin to shake. A red rose was a gift Rob always gave. At one time I found it endearing; later it made me despise red roses.
“It’s been a while,” he adds, sounding even closer.
That fight-or-flight feeling kicks in and I look around for anything I can use as a weapon. Or anyone who may be able to offer me help. Only there is nothing, there is no one. Just us.
“What I find very interesting about our current situation is that you thought a piece of paper would keep me away from you.”
I am frozen, unable to choose the best option, knowing there was no option. I am trapped. Running will get me nowhere; Rob is faster, bigger and stronger. Screaming is hopeless because I had so foolishly parked in a lot that is now empty, only my car and one other. It is tucked behind an older building that looks like nothing more than a failed business. If I choose to reach for my phone, I know he will react faster.
“When did you get out?” I ask him, hating the shakiness in my voice, the uncertainty of my demise.
Rob was arrested two weeks ago for theft. He broke into a convenience store after hours and ransacked it, along with a friend of his. They caused more damage than was necessary just because they could, because they were heartless and vengeful.
“I thought you would have missed me.” I know by the sound of his voice he is only inches away from me. “But then I was served with a restraining order instead of a happy visit from my girl.” He grips my hip from behind and I jumped in reaction to his touch. “I decided that maybe you just needed a reminder of what we have together.”
My stomach began to coil and tense.
“Why don’t we go somewhere and talk?” I force myself to hold it together as I turn to face him and am momentarily floored by his appearance. Long gone is the guy I once loved, the one who made me feel safe and happy. No longer present was a man I thought could one day be my forever. In his place is a crazed form of that Rob, a strung-out and exhausted replacement. His hair is longer and greasier, and if I have to guess, weeks overdue for a good wash. He’d grown possessive and demanding towards the end of our two-and-a-half-year relationship. He didn’t understand that I wanted to let go, that there was nothing left to hold on to, which is what led me to get the order of protection.
I know at this point I have to attempt to calm him, though the last thing I wanted was to spend even a second longer in his presence.
“We could grab a coffee, or something else and just talk this out.”
Rob stares at me with blank eyes, empty and void of emotion. I know when he chuckles like what I just said was the funniest thing in the world, there is no way I would actually reach that man I once knew.
“Oh baby, I think the time for talking is over.” My stomach lurched, my heart sank and before I could scream his hand covers my mouth to the point of pain. “I have something entirely different in mind for us.”
Chapter One
Tinley - One Year Later
I step outside the front door of the old cobblestone building I’ve lived in for the last eight months. I’ve tried so hard to make it a home, to make it mine, but the truth is it’s never given me the sense of security I so desperately need.
On instinct, I look to my left then to my right as I hold the small dispenser of pepper spray tightly in my hand, like a lifeline.
Anxiety is crippling, and each day I fight against the urge to let it take over. I fight against the desire to hide in my tiny apartment with all four locks secured and in place. It is a battle every day to forget my past and move on with my life, to not allow the haunting memories of that dreaded night eat me alive.
I also verify at least twice a week that the man who stripped me of my peace is still behind secured bars. The night Rob forced me into the backseat of my car as he held my throat firmly is a night I know I will never forget. It was my weakest moment, a turning point, events that forced me to hit bottom. I fell apart and was left empty, broken, and quite honestly, a ghost.
He walked away, satisfied that he had conquered me, and in a big way he had. I don’t know how long I lay there, curled up in a ball in the backseat of my car. All I can remember are the sounds of sirens mixed with the concerned voices of those who found me: a random c
ouple cutting through that same parking lot as a shortcut to their destination.
I lay there with clenched fists holding my torn shirt over my chest. Somehow in the aftermath I had pulled my pants back up around my waist, mostly. My mind was too far gone at that point to feel even a small amount of embarrassment. My dignity had already been ripped and shredded, laying heavy at my feet.
It is a night that haunted me for weeks on end, and still haunts me a year later. But I decided I couldn’t let him win. I pushed myself through each day, proud to be strong and proud to gain even a small fragment of my independence and security back.
Against my father’s wishes, I transferred from Duke University to NYU. He was a member of the alumni, a “Duke all the way ’til the end” kinda guy. It’d been his dream for me and my older brother to attend the same school he had. But I had to get out; I had to break free. Everything about Durham and North Carolina reminded me of Rob. It reminded me of the dark solitude I was forced into by the events of that night. New York was a new start, a fresh beginning with endless possibilities.
I miss my family, my big brother, and the way we would gather every Sunday for the feast my mother prepared without fault. It was a huge deal to her and my father that we come together as a family. I miss it all, but I also understand that in order for me to heal, I had to leave.
I take in one deep breath before forcing my feet to move as I walk down the six steps to the sidewalk below. Mrs. Hammond was leaning out her front window, watering her flowers in her small handmade hanging pot along her window sill.
“Good morning, Tinley.” Her bright smile always gave me that little extra boost I was in desperate need of. The woman can’t be much more than four feet tall and maybe ninety pounds. She had the prettiest blue eyes I have ever seen, and though she was nearly eighty, she had more energy than most people my age.
“Good morning.” I offer a little wave with a matching smile. “Those petunias are looking bright and cheerful.”
That compliment is probably the best thing I could have given her. She was all about her flowers, treating them so delicately and ensuring they had the right amount of light, water, and even attention.
“Thank you, sweetie.” She glides her hand over the soft petals, seemingly entranced by the way they felt beneath her palm. “You have a good day, and don’t forget to stop in on your way back through. I’m making some banana bread and there is a loaf with your name on it.”
“You are far too good to me.” She is like the building granny, always giving the younger residents yummy treats.
“I don’t like that you are alone all the time,” a look of concern takes over her features, “and you are entirely too thin.” This observation is a little humorous, coming from a tiny little thing such as herself. “I’ll fatten you up yet.”
Mrs. Hammond is a widow, and on very rare occasions her sons come to see her. Other than that, she is alone, like me. So many nights since I moved into this building, I’ve shared dinner with her or even a late-night movie. She is that little piece of normalcy that I treasure, a little sense of security, though it does make me miss my own grandmother fiercely.
“I’ll spend my entire day now drooling over the idea of having yumminess when I get home.”
“Hurry on now.” She waves her hand, and still wears that amazing smile of hers. “Get to school and then I’ll see you after. Do you work tonight?”
“No, but I have a wedding I’m working tomorrow.”
“Great. So tonight, we will have dinner and then afterwards I’ll send you home with dessert.” There was no point in arguing; Mrs. Hammond had already made up her mind. She was a fiery little thing, and I learned quickly that attempting to decline her need to care for me is pointless.
“I can hardly wait.” With another wave, I turned toward my bright blue Toyota Prius, still holding the pepper spray firmly in my hand. Today would be a good day;, I’d made up my mind. I would get through it without fear, without panic, and I would do it all with a smile on my face.
Chapter Two
Knoxville
I look around the large elegant space, filled with tables and chairs surrounding the dance floor in the center. Ice sculptures, chocolate fountains, and enough crystal to feed an entire country are perfectly placed on the tabletops. Table tops are covered with white lace covers that flow almost to the floor. Ashton, my oldest brother and a man I’ve looked up to my entire life, has really outdone himself. He wanted everything to be perfect for Kinsley; she deserves it for sure after the hand she’d been dealt the first time around.
The Montgomery men, all three of us, are fiercely protective of Kinsley. She’d forever have a place in each of our hearts. She is virtually my sister, and we all protected our family with our lives.
She’d married the wrong guy when she was young and impressionable, a real prick of all pricks, then suffered years of abuse by the sorry son of a bitch who felt it was okay to hurt a woman. The terror continued even after she fled to save her own life. I idolized her. The woman was a damn warrior, because even after all that heartache and fear, she was here smiling, laughing, and loving life. She didn’t let the madman of her past keep her from loving again, but I think we all know without a doubt that she is in good hands this time. Ashton is in awe of her, it was clear as day.
Kinsley and Ashton were meant for one another, there was no doubt about that.
The look in my brother’s eyes as he holds her close and sways from side to side is one of complete and utter addiction. They have a love so deep and unconditional that anyone who bears witness to it feels as though they are weakened by the connection.
I can’t keep myself from smiling as I watch Kinsley look up to my brother like he is the greatest man on earth. She wasn’t too far off, really. The Montgomery men are without a doubt a rare and special breed. We love hard, protect harder, and when the need arises, we band together and wipe out anyone who gets in our way. We are proud, strong, and devoted.
I hear the chair screech against the marble floor to my left and look just in time to see Beckett, my youngest brother and by far the cockiest, sit in the seat next to me. His fiancée is quickly pulled down to his lap and I shake my head as I turn back to look at Ashton and Kinsley. Both of my brothers have found amazing women and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little envious of the beauties they’d fallen for.
Beckett chuckles and I chance a look at him just as Shanelle leans in and kisses him. A simple kiss, but one I’ll admit made my stomach ache just a small fraction. It has to be satisfying to have a woman look at you the way Shanelle looked at Beckett and Kinsley looked at Ashton. All three of us have always loved the freedom of doing what we want when we wanted it, but that has all changed. Both of my brothers are whipped, sunk, hanging on the edge of Pansy Land, and here I am, still sitting alone on the sidelines.
“What’s wrong, Knox?” I jerked in response to the sound of my name, bringing me back to the moment. “You getting all misty eyed at a wedding, big brother?”
Beckett arches an arrogant brow, holding a smirk on his face as he watches me closely.
“Is the big bad Knoxville feeling a little nostalgic and emotional?”
Taunting, hassling, giving one another as much shit as possible was a continuous thing between us boys. Always had been and I know it always will be. Beckett and I are only eleven months apart in age, and I’m just under twenty-eight years old. I don’t ever remember a time he and I weren’t smartasses with one another. We shared the same friends and the same interests, which for a great part of our lives often made us competitive. Of course, Ashton’s wedding would be no different.
“If I’m not mistaken, brother,” I sip my whiskey and sucked air in between my teeth to ease the slight burn it caused, “I’m thinking I saw you wipe at your eyes five minutes into the ceremony.”
“Bullshit,” Beckett chuckles, suddenly looking uneasy as he shifts Shanelle on his lap.
“You asked me for a tissue two seconds afte
r linking your arm with mine when we followed the rest of the wedding party out.” It’s my turn to smirk as Shanelle calls him out. I think in that very second I might have fallen a little more in love with my future sister-in-law. She didn’t let my brother hide behind his cockiness for even a second.
“A tissue?” I cross my arms over my chest and mimic Beckett’s earlier smirk.
Beckett narrows his eyes at his girl and she shrugs him off like it’s no big deal before attempting to stand up. I reach out, of course, and pull her over into my own lap, causing her to squeal. “I told you this one was a keeper from the beginning.” I hug Shanelle protectively, watching my brother’s face quickly begin to change to an ugly shade of red. There is nothing better than getting my brothers worked up over their women.
“No,” Beckett tugs on Shanelle’s arm with a pout on his lips, “you said ‘those are some amazing legs.’”
“Aw,” Shanelle coos with a playful look. Another reason why I adore this woman. She too loves to get a rise out of my brother. “You said I had great legs.”
I nod, and she offers me a knowing smile, while peeking out of the corner of her eyes toward my brother. Even when Beckett growls we hold our composure. It was hard, but completely worth it.
“Do you really want to end your day with an ambulance ride, Knox?”
Shanelle’s eyes widen and she turns toward Beckett, and I see the moment she breaks. “Okay, big guy.” She stands from my lap and wraps her arms around Beckett’s neck. “I only have eyes for you, so dial it down a notch or ten.” Before he can talk, she placed her lips to his and I watch as the tension in his shoulders quickly fades.
