Chet sat there in a stunned silence. Nick Gallagher, formerly Sam Mayhew, was gay. Chet felt sick. Angry. Confused. Hurt. After all the things Nick—Sam—had said to him in high school. He forced his mind back to the topic at hand.
"What does any of this have to do with my father leaving me the farm?"
"Well, to hear him tell it, he thought that working the farm would toughen you up—and I'm quoting here, please understand—and 'make a real man outta' you. The man was sly and cunning; a shrewd businessman... but he wasn't very smart."
Chet didn't know what to say. If anything, the idea that his father thought running the farm would change his sexuality was even more shocking than the revelation that Nick was gay. Chet felt like his brain was spinning inside his skull. Nothing made sense. He couldn't even answer Nicholas when he asked if Chet was all right. He wasn't sure that he was all right. He thought he might need to lie down.
"Here you go, two house salads with a side of bacon and a fruit cup," June announced, returning to the table without warning.
Chet hoped he didn't jump as much as it felt like he had. His heart hammered in his chest at her sudden appearance, but he tried to smile at her and mumbled what he hoped was a coherent "thank you" as she set their plates down.
"Thank you, June. If you could go ahead and bring the check when you refill our coffee, that would be great, hon," Nicholas said, then winced. "Sorry for calling you 'hon.' Force of habit."
June rolled her eyes, but she smiled. "Mr. Gallagher, I've known you long enough not to be worried about it. I'll be back in just a minute with that coffee."
"Son—sorry. Shit. Chet. If you need to leave, you don't have to eat. I'll drive you home right now and we'll get your car back to you later." Nicholas looked very concerned.
Chet somehow found his voice. "No." His voice was thick and he had to clear his throat and try again. "No, I'll be all right. I just got overwhelmed for a minute." He picked up his fork. "My father was a piece of work. But I'm not going to let him ruin any more of my life. Whatever his reasons for leaving me the farm, I'm staying. For now, at any rate. So let's eat and put Walker Barnaby's bullshit behind us."
Chet tucked into his salad without waiting for a response. When he glanced up, he found Nicholas giving him a look of what appeared to be amused admiration. Chet shrugged and Nicholas started eating, choosing to crumble his bacon over the top of his salad before taking a bite. They ate in silence for a few moments.
"I gotta say, Chet," Nicholas said, washing down his last bite with the rest of his coffee. "You're something else. And please understand, I mean that in the best way, with the highest respect. I can see why Nick has taken a liking to you."
Chet closed his eyes and counted to three before speaking. "Please tell me that is not your incredibly clumsy attempt at matchmaking."
"Well, not exactly, but my son could do worse. So could you, come to that."
"Not going to happen, Nicholas. With all due respect to you and your son... Nick and I have a history and it's not a very pleasant one. I won't go into the details, but let's just leave my answer to your matchmaking at 'no, thank you,' shall we?"
Nicholas held up both hands in surrender, saying nothing further on the subject. Instead he asked, "Well, is there anyone back in Nashville pining for your swift return? You won't scandalize the town by inviting them to stay with you."
"There's no one romantically. I have some friends who might like to visit, but they're too busy at the moment. I expect they'll descend on Rubyville before too long, though."
"What about your other business? Is it running okay without you?" Nicholas's smile was self-deprecating. "I know from experience none of us likes to believe our workplace can function without us, but realistically, will yours be all right for a year with only occasional help from you?"
Chet nodded, finishing his bite of fresh pineapple before speaking. "From what I can tell, yes. I've cut back my consultations significantly over the last year, so this isn't such a hard transition for them. Mostly they're unused to not having me in the office to run to, but they've shown themselves more than capable of blowing my phone up when they have questions. I'll have to go back here and there to meet with some of our regulars and bigger clientele, but right now, they don't need me on hand."
"Well, that's good. Wouldn't want you to mess that up." Nicholas chewed his lower lip thoughtfully. "Tell me. What made you decide to take the place? I thought sure you'd hightail it home. Was it the money?"
Chet set his fork down, breathing in deeply and exhaling before he tried to speak. "I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't the fuck up he always said I was. I paid attention back then and I learned more than he ever realized. And even if he'll never know about it, I needed to know that I could run things just as well as he did—if not better—without being a heartless bastard."
Nicholas smiled slowly, and his voice was full of respect. "I like you, Chet Barnaby. A damn sight better than I liked your father. And I've got no doubt you're gonna be twice as good at running that farm as he was."
Chet hoped sincerely that Nicholas was right.
16
Nick wasn't ready for this dinner with Tyler and Reagan, but he knew it was something he needed to do. He'd called a therapist in Columbia and made an appointment, but it wasn't for a week yet. He'd have to deal with this however he could until then. Tonight, though, he was hopefully going to get some answers. He parked his car with a bolstering exhalation and stepped out.
He was just a few yards from the door of the restaurant when he saw Reagan and Tyler reach it. Tyler turned his way as he opened the door and caught sight of Nick. He smiled and waved and Reagan called out a greeting. Nick returned the smile and wave and jogged forward to catch up.
"Hey, guys. Thanks for inviting me," he said when he reached the door.
"Yeah, man. It's good to see you," Tyler said.
"Especially now that we know we don't have to hide," Reagan confessed with a rueful smile.
"Ugh, can we at least get inside before we start waving our pride flags?" Tyler asked, rolling his eyes as he walked into the restaurant, leaving Nick and Reagan to follow.
"Don't mind him. He's still nervous being out to people around here," Reagan said as he gestured for Nick to step ahead of him.
"Hey, I get it. Coming out was really hard for me, living here."
"Three?" the perky hostess asked before Reagan could comment. She led them to a booth near the bar and handed them menus and silverware rolls. "Your server will be right out," she told them in a sing-song before swishing away back to her kiosk.
Reagan watched her walk away and then turned to Nick. "So you're probably wondering how this happened," he said quietly, gesturing between himself and Tyler.
"Well, kinda, yeah," Nick admitted.
"I know I would be in your shoes. Um, first, I identify as pan, not gay, just for clarity's sake—"
"And I'm hella gay," Tyler leaned forward and said in a quiet voice. Then he grinned. "Hella."
Nick laughed. "Yeah. Me too. Which I think would shock anyone we knew in high school. Well, it has shocked quite a few people from high school that I am, but you guys... I think y'all would be an even bigger shock. Does anybody back home know?"
"Our parents do," Tyler said bitterly, all trace of his smile gone. "Which is why I don't go home anymore. Rea's parents were a lot cooler about it and we go stay with them sometimes." He sighed. "But we aren't answering the question, are we?"
"I think I'll just give you the short version and after that we can fill in the blanks."
"Hold that thought," Nick said as movement caught his eye and he saw a waitress bustling toward them.
When she was gone again with their drink orders, Reagan said, "Okay, the cheat sheet version is this: We both got into SCU and managed to be roommates in a two person dorm room. One night we got high and wound up making out and falling asleep together. I had already realized I had feelings for him, which I'd been trying to fight for
a couple of years at that point."
"And I was just starting to accept that my feelings for him weren't going away," Tyler said.
"So once we'd made out, we were both ripe for a big gay panic, as you can probably imagine." Reagan smiled over at Tyler. "But one of our friends came over the next morning right after we woke up and realized what we'd done."
"He walks in and pulls up short looking back and forth between us. 'Y'all had sex!' he says, freaking us both the hell out. Then he gets this big grin on his face. 'Finally! I thought I was gonna choke on all the sexual tension!'" Tyler smirked. "Needless to say, not the reaction we'd expected people to have."
"So, in the face of immediate acceptance, somehow we avoided any gay panic, big or otherwise, and, well...." Reagan trailed off, looking at Tyler with a soft smile.
"We've been together ever since," Tyler finished, wrapping his arm around Reagan and shaking him slightly. He dropped his arm and appeared to put a hand on Reagan's thigh. "And it has been amazing—"
"But it's come with its share of guilt," Reagan said. "I'm sure you can relate, although you probably have as much right to be upset with us as anyone."
"I had a thing for Chet," Nick blurted. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I get the guilt. I changed my name partly because I wanted a fresh start in college. Who we were, how we treated people—gay people or people we thought were gay, in particular—I can't stand it. But especially because I really, really liked Chet, and instead of letting him know or at least being his friend—"
"We bullied you into bullying him," Tyler said, not trying to duck the truth. "I can't tell you how sorry I am, Nick. It... I can give you all my excuses—I was a scared kid, dependent on my homophobic asshole dad, hoping if I could scare the gay out of other people, I'd stop feeling it myself—but none of them justify how I acted. And how I got Reagan to act, out of fear I'd push him away if I found out he wasn't straight. I'm not proud of any of it. I can't fix it, but I can apologize, sincerely. If I could go back and change it, I would. In a second."
"I can't pretend I'm not upset, but I'd also be a hypocrite to hold it against you. We all did basically the same thing," Nick said.
"Yeah, but you were trying to do things the right way until we came along," Reagan said. "I think when Tyler and I saw you complimenting Chet... I can't speak for Tyler, but I know I felt jealousy. Like, how dare you flirt with some random boy when I can't tell the guy I love that I like his shirt, you know?" He shook his head. "So childish."
Nick thought about Reagan's words for a long moment. "But that's the thing, Reagan. We were childish because we were children. Did we make the right choices? Not at all. But we were young and stupid and scared. We can't let it haunt us forever. I don't think that helps anybody."
He realized suddenly that he believed his own words. He felt lighter than he had since Chet came back to town. He suddenly knew that he had to forgive himself before he could hope to get Chet to forgive him. And Nick, for the first time in a long time, finally felt like he could actually do that. After that, he'd have to make Chet see that he'd changed. That he wasn't the same person he'd been as a stupid kid.
By unspoken agreement, after the waitress finally brought their drinks, they let the subject drop and talked of other things. It turned out Reagan was an eye doctor now and Tyler worked in sports medicine. They lived in Asheville and only came down near Rubyville about once a year to visit friends and family. This visit was the longest in a while and they were staying through the weekend.
"Hey, there's going to be a bonfire down by the lake this weekend," Tyler said. "You should come with us."
"Yeah!" Reagan said. "That would be great. It's being held by the local LGBT alliance, so if you wanted to bring someone, it wouldn't be a big deal."
"Oh. Yeah, maybe I will." Nick's mind immediately flashed on Chet, wishing he could ask him to the bonfire. "I don't have anyone to bring, but thanks for the heads up. Sounds like a fun time. Will there be alcohol?"
"There will, but they keep a close watch on it so nobody gets out of hand," Tyler replied.
"I'm the designated driver for us. My anxiety is too high to drink in public these days," Reagan said, smiling ruefully.
"I get that. Sounds fun. Text me when and where to meet and we'll make it happen."
Before either of them could respond, a man walking toward them said, “Nick?”
Glancing up, he saw his college friend Liam and he broke into a smile. “Liam! Hey, what brings you out here? You still in Rockfort?”
“Oh, yeah, still there. Rhett and I are just taking a day trip. How you been, man?”
“Rhett’s here too?”
Nick couldn’t help the pulse of nerves at the sound of Rhett’s name. He and Rhett had never actually dated, but Rhett had been his first lover and Nick had liked him a lot. He didn’t know if Liam knew that, or even knew that Rhett wasn’t straight.
Then Liam’s face broke into a soft smile and Nick knew before Liam even spoke.
“Yeah. We’re actually together now.”
“Wow,” Nick said. “I knew Rhett had a—”
“Rhett had a what?” Rhett asked, stepping up behind Liam with a grin. “Hey, Nick! Good to see you!” Unlike Liam, Rhett came in for a hug.
Nick stood, rather than make the six foot six Rhett bend in half, and Rhett’s arms engulfed him in a bear hug. It was rare for Nick, a former football player who was just over six feet tall himself, to feel small, but Rhett managed to make it happen. A hard clap on the back and Rhett released him, grinning as he pulled away.
Nick made introductions between his two sets of friends and there was a round of handshaking.
“Don’t wanna take you away from your meal, but we should get together soon and catch up. You have Liam’s number?” Rhett asked.
Reagan piped up then, saying, “You two should come to the bonfire at the lake this weekend!”
Once the logistics of that were worked out, Liam came over to get a hug goodbye, and he and Rhett left. Nick smiled as he watched them go, knowing how hard Rhett had pined for Liam in college. It was good to see them so happy.
The rest of dinner with Reagan and Tyler went smoothly, and Nick was glad they'd reconnected. He still wasn't sure how to deal with all the conflicted feelings over their sexuality versus how homophobic they'd been in high school, but he knew he'd eventually land on being okay with it. He just had to process it. He wished that Chet could find a way to forgive him half as easily, but he understood completely why he couldn't. That wouldn't be such a problem if Nick weren't finding himself getting more and more attached to Chet every time he saw him.
17
Things at the farm were moving along nicely. Chet had had to turn down a few of the requests he'd already denied at the meeting, even with new data, but some of them he'd been able to greenlight. So far, they were well within budget and very likely to turn a profit, unless things started to go very south. It was always possible with a farm, but Chet felt some of the new ideas that were adding revenue would be a good buffer against any losses they might sustain. He certainly hoped so.
Even though he might only be running things for a year, he still wanted the farm to succeed in his eventual absence. He was growing to like the people he was in charge of and respected them already. They were mostly hardworking, reliable and loyal.
Even Pete had turned out to be more of an asset than a pain in the ass, which was not how Chet would have predicted that going. Nick had said Pete was a loudmouth elsewhere, but maybe there was something Nick had missed. It wasn't as if Pete had looked for reasons to keep being nasty, once Chet had proved himself to be reasonable.
Nick.
Pete might not be a problem, but Nick sure was turning out to be one. Chet had had very definite ideas about his refusal to be more than friends. The past had caused him great pain and he couldn't forget Nick's part in that. Still, the Nick he kept seeing wasn't the same person anymore. He was funny and kind, smart and generous. On top of
all that, he was unfairly attractive and the slightest touch sent sparks along Chet's skin. His brain wanted to keep Nick at arm's length. His body wanted to wrap his arms around him. The jury was still out on what his heart wanted, but Chet didn't want to hear it. Brain was going to win this one.
He hadn’t spoken with Nick since finding out he was gay, but Chet had gotten a text from him, once Nick heard from his father about his accidental outing.
Nick: I know Dad told you I’m gay. Can we have dinner and talk about it?
Chet had put him off temporarily, using the farm as an excuse, but he knew he needed to have that dinner. He wanted answers. As angry as he’d been when he first heard, he was starting to work toward understanding, but he needed to hear Nick’s side. He didn’t particularly want to feel sympathetic toward Nick, but it seemed to be happening, anyway.
Finally, when he was done with his emails for the day, he decided he’d grab dinner in town. He’d been cooking a lot lately, but tonight he wanted to relax and enjoy a meal he didn’t prepare. Having decided that he wanted to hear what Nick had to say, Chet texted him to find out if he wanted to join him for dinner, but got no response after fifteen minutes, so he got dressed and headed out.
Once he was in his car, he decided to swing by Nick’s place, on the off chance he hadn’t gotten the text and was free for dinner. He had only been there once, when Nick had asked him to come by to drop off some papers after hours, but he still knew Rubyville’s roads pretty well and found his way easily enough.
Nick’s car was out front, so he parked next to it. His nerves kicked in and he almost turned around and left, but he took a deep breath and made himself get out of the car. As he walked, however, he realized the front door was wide open and Nick’s briefcase was lying in the middle of the doorway, holding the screen door partly open. Chet’s heart started pounding for a different reason as he rushed for the house.
Home to Stay (Southern Boys Book 2) Page 7
