It chose me.
For the first time in what felt like ages, I raised my arms and whooped with joy.
I’m coming, Sam. I am so coming.
14
Axel
When Amber smiled, I smiled back and even cheered with the rest of the group. But I couldn’t help the burning jealousy simmering in the pit of my belly. Not only did she have the dragon as her spiritual animal, as her dodaem, but it had broken free, flown away, and then it had chosen to fly back to mark her with its flames.
She was definitely the chosen one, not me. I was going to fail my brother, fail my mother.
The Choosing Ceremony never lied.
The king, sensing my melancholy and sharing my pain, shook his head. I excused myself and headed for my room in the servants’ quarters.
For once, Ollie was too caught up in the excitement of the Choosing Ceremony to belittle me or rub in the fact that I didn’t get the dragon.
“Listen, son, don’t be so downtrodden.”
The king had followed me.
I turned around to face him in the dark corridor I was standing in.
“Just because the dragon chose her doesn’t mean you won’t return.” His eyes sparkled with hope. “The unicorn is the greatest symbol of luck.”
“The unicorn has never brought anyone home,” I spat bitterly. Ashamed at myself for whinging. I kicked at the wall until my toes throbbed.
The king watched me and sighed, but the glimmer of hope still glittered in his eyes.
“Ah, but you will be the first one to do it with a unicorn.”
I laughed, bitterly so. “I’m not sure I want to be the first to ‘do it with a unicorn.’” I laughed again. But the laughter soon turned to tears, tears that clung to my eyeballs and burned like fire. The king rested his hand on my right shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
“It’s okay, son. It’s okay to show fear. It takes strength to live honestly. To reveal our human side. Our faults and fallacies. I’m proud of you, always remember that.”
I was about to run to the refuge of my small bedroom when someone called my name.
I spun around to see Amber striding towards me, her steps growing more hesitant as she neared. She was impressive, dressed in head to toe black, with her golden cap of hair framing her pale face. A face glowing with a happiness I’d never seen on her since I’d known her—which wasn’t all that long.
Maybe she had enough belief for the both of us.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want the dragon, initially.”
But I could tell that she was now happy that she got it. I could see it in the golden glow on her pale cheeks and the light in her eyes.
I’d have been the same. I’d have been overjoyed.
“Don’t be sorry. I have to go see my mother. She wanted to hear all about the dragon choosing me in every gory detail.” I shrugged. “I guess a unicorn’s not that bad as a second choice.”
Amber touched my arm.
“Wait. I know I got the dragon, but I’m going to use that dragon’s luck to get all our loved ones back, even Bella’s. I’m not just going to rescue my brother, I want us all to have our loved ones back.”
I wanted to tell her that her efforts were futile but I just couldn’t. I just couldn’t take away that glow of hope that seemed to start in her insides and then beam right out of her eyes and her smile. I hated that she was so kind, hated that she had the luck of the dragon, and hated myself for being angry at her for simply having what I wanted and wanting what I wanted.
“Axel!”
It was Hattie, our cook, wringing her starched apron in her wrinkled hands. “You’re mother has taken ill. She’s in the sick bed.”
“What? Why didn’t anybody tell me?” Why hadn’t the king mentioned it?
I didn’t mean to grab Hattie’s shoulders and shake her. She shook me off and gave me a shove in my chest. “Settle down and let me speak.” Tears filled Hattie’s eyes. “She fell. Collapsed during the Choosing Ceremony.”
Amber stared at me, her eyes wide with sympathy. I turned back to Hattie.
“I’m sorry, Hattie.” I hated myself for roughing her up. What had gotten into me?
I pushed past her and ran for the servants’ quarters, where my mother was waiting for me, resting against a mountain of pillows in bed.
“Don’t bother,” she said as soon as she saw me. Her small, round face was drawn and greyish and seemed to disappear into the large pillow she was resting on. “Don’t bother bringing my baby back.”
She wasn’t making sense. The fall must have knocked her out, mixed up her mind.
“Is this because I didn’t get the dragon?”
She laughed, shook her head, and coughed, then motioned with her fingers for the cup of water beside her bed. I passed it to her and she drank it in greedy gulps and lay back with a deep sigh.
“No. I woke up this morning after a dream. I was with your baby brother and we were together in a beautiful garden full of flowers. There was a stream and little Rin and your father had been catching fish.” Her soft smile disappeared and was replaced with a frown. “When I woke up from that beautiful dream, I felt something in my chest, a twinge, a tightening. It stayed there and grew, until it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. This continued for several minutes before it passed.”
I squeezed her limp hand in mine and kissed her palm before pressing it against my face.
“But you’re okay now, Mother. It’s all right.”
“No, it happened again during the Choosing Ceremony,” she said, her eyes brimming with tears as she stroked my chin with her thumb. “I overheard the king speaking to you before, and I came out of bed when nobody was looking. I heard what he said and it had me thinking.” She sighed and stared out the window at a nearby rose bush in full, peach coloured bloom. “My time here is short, so what use is it to bring your brother back here when I might close my eyes tonight and find myself reunited with my baby and your dear father again tonight.”
“No. Don’t say that.” I took her hand, which had grown limp and slipped away, and brought it back against my cheek. It flopped against the mattress.
“No, Mother, please. I’m bringing Rin home. You’ll see. You’ll feel better when you see him again.”
I’d failed her. I’d failed my mother. It had been up to me to return my brother, to bring happiness back into her life. But I hadn’t done it soon enough.
She smiled and tears spilled over her cheeks.
“My brave boy. I love you. But we must speak truths. There is something more I need to tell you.”
Goosebumps prickled my flesh and my heart seemed to fold in on itself.
“What is it, Mother?”
“It was that dream, my love. That same dream,” she said, her eyes turning misty.
My body turned cold and the hairs on the back of my neck prickled. I sensed what was coming.
She smiled and stroked my face, brushing my hair out of my eyes.
“You were there, my love. You were with us in the garden of flowers. You were with me in heaven.”
15
Amber
When Axel returned he seemed closed off. Distant. But I had a feeling this had nothing to do with the dragon or the Choosing Ceremony and more to do with his ill mother. I hoped she was okay.
When the king asked Axel to join us all for the send-off feast, and dismissed him of his usual serving duties, he didn’t seem as happy as I’d imagined he would be. After all he’d said when we’d been stuck on the plane with Jacob, I thought he was dying to go to the Land of Resting Souls. Now he seemed spooked. As though he feared it. As though he knew something we didn’t. I shook my head. No. He was just worried about his mother. That had to be it. But when the king had asked Axel how his mother was, Axel had smiled and replied, “Fine. Just a little too much excitement for one day.” So perhaps it was something else that was bothering him.
After we filed into the dining room at lunchtime, I made a run for t
he vacant seat next to Axel. He knew things about the journey we didn’t and I needed to know what. I mean, I knew there was danger facing us, but he seemed to be withholding information. Something to do with the dragon, perhaps? Or did it go back to the first meal we all shared in the ballroom the other night? When the king had silenced Axel after he’d started to speak out...what was it.... something about the king not telling us everything. The truth?
Jacob seemed to have the same idea, because when I sat down, I found myself balanced on his firm, muscled thighs.
“What the?”
I leaped off him as quickly as I could, banging my knee against the solid stone table.
Jacob got up immediately. “You have it,” he said, moving along to the next seat, the seat beside me. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I said, rubbing my knee. I was more embarrassed than anything.
Jacob smiled and breathed a sigh of relief before staring across at Axel seated beside me. Jacob must have been sharing my thoughts. I wanted to tell him I’d share whatever it was that I learnt, so I nodded and gestured with my head towards Axel and he seemed to get what I meant and nodded back.
The old maid, Anya, came to Axel first. She seemed to mother him, moving about and filling his water, pouring wine and making sure his plate was loaded with steamed fish, roasted potatoes, and brightly coloured salad.
“I’m fine, Anya. There’s no more room on my plate. Please, serve the others,” he said when she tried to cram another spoonful of potatoes onto his plate. After Anya loaded my plate, then Jacob’s, and moved along, I reached across in front of Axel for the bread rolls and offered him one, hoping it would break the invisible wall that surrounded him.
“What? Oh. Thanks.” He took two and bit into one of them, staring off into space.
“Is this the first time you’ve sat at this table? Anya seems a little excited.” I smiled and he half smiled back. I’d made a dent in the wall. But his blue eyes were fringed by his messy blond hair so I couldn’t quite read him.
“First and last,” he said, his voice full of doom and gloom.
I speared a chunk of white fish with my fork and swallowed it before taking a gulp of wine that made me wince.
“It’s strong,” Axel said. “Don’t have any more than the one sip. You’ll need your wits about you when we leave the castle grounds and enter the Veiled World, trust me.”
I watched him drain his glass and he noticed.
“It’s different for me. I was raised on this stuff,” he said. I thought he muttered. “And I got the unicorn so I’m second to die.” But then he sighed heavily and covered his cup with his fingers when Anya came to fill it. “But I’ll drink water for the remainder of the meal.”
“Good plan,” I said, taking a sip of my own water. I nudged Jacob with my elbow, thinking to warn him, but I should have known his wine glass would remain unfilled, seeing as he’d had his fair share of horror experiences with his alcoholic mother.
“You ready for this?” I asked instead.
He swallowed down a forkful of potato and nodded. “It feels like a dream.”
“Same.”
“At least we’ve got Axel. He’s studied up on the land,” I said, and leaned back to include Axel in on the conversation, but he sighed wearily in response.
“A lot of good that will do you, me, for the lot of us,” he said, slumping back against his chair and staring at the ceiling where a beautiful mural of the planet Earth, shrouded behind a veil of wispy clouds, had been painted.
“What do you mean? What happened to the ‘we can do this’ attitude you had when we were stuck on the plane?” I asked.
Jacob leaned in to better hear Axel’s answer, so close I could feel his breath on my skin.
“It means that maybe I don’t feel as optimistic as I’d felt on the aeroplane.”
“So why the change?” Jacob asked, his hands were now fists clutching his knife and fork. “Do you have new information?”
Axel sighed and looked at each of us. “Maybe I do. But maybe that information has something to do with me and not the two of you. So don’t worry. You’ll both likely be fine.”
“You as well,” I added. “If we return, then you will too. Like you said, we’ll all stick together.”
Claire sat across from me, her arms folded while Reece whispered something in her ear, his eyes narrowed on Axel and then me. She glared at the three of us. Was she jealous that I’d made new friends? Especially now that Bella wasn’t here? I would have thought Bella’s absence was going to make it easier for us to mend our broken bond. I’d thought wrong.
Noah was deep in an argument with Kyle and Rueben on who had the best dodaem, when Axel stood up and threw his knife at the table. It’s blade speared into the wood. Almost everybody gasped, myself included.
“Look, she has the best dodaem. The dragon.” He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his eyes. They were so bright and blue and so full of anger. “The only two people to ever return from the Veiled World had the dragon for their dodaem.”
The king, who was seated down the other end of the table, slammed his hand on the table. “Axel! Here. This minute.”
Axel seized his knife, flicked it shut, then kicked his chair out of the way before he stormed towards the king.
Surely my getting the dragon was not the only reason for Axel’s doom and gloom. He had been so sure, so certain, so excited the other day. But I couldn’t let his mood ruin mine. All I could do was focus on Sam, on bringing him home. I didn’t care what we were about to face. My brother was coming home with me. And that was motivation enough for me. I had the luck of the dragon behind me too. Funnily enough I was a fire dragon anyway—a Leo combined with the dragon in Chinese astrology.
Mum used to tell me and Sam all sorts of things based on our Chinese and astrological sign. She loved to tell us our characteristics and what we were most likely to become when we grew up. I used to love those rare, rainy winter nights when she spoke about things like that. But after Sam had died, I refused to believe in anything. Because if we were both fire dragons, with the luck and strength of a fire dragon, then why had he died? And why in a fire of all things?
But now, today, after seeing a dragon with my own eyes, and the fact that it broke away and could have flown away to freedom but instead chose to return and burn a ring of possession around me—that had to mean something.
The king fumed at Axel, shaking him by the shoulders. Axel glared back at him just as fiercely, and instead of returning to his seat after the king had said his piece, disappeared out the doorway.
After I watched him go I caught the king’s eyes. He’d seen my interest in Axel, but quickly raised his glass, smiled, and toasted me in the air. I raised my water glass, took a sip, and returned to my food, despite having lost my appetite. I was too anxious to enjoy the food.
Perhaps Axel was merely sad because he’d been to say goodbye to his sick mother. Maybe he’d changed his mind and didn’t want to leave her. Perhaps now that he had this opportunity, he didn’t want it any more. That had to be it.
Across the table, Noah’s food remained untouched, as did Kyle’s and Rueben’s. But they didn’t seem fearful or anxious. In fact their faces were lit with excitement as they dreamed up the different heavens they would encounter.
“Women. Just a heaven filled with big breasted women,” said Rueben.
Noah nodded and said, “Problem is I’d stay there.”
Kyle shook his head. “No way, man. Just give me endless waves to surf and I’ll be a happy man. There’s got to be millions of souls wishing their heaven into the perfect surf.” His blue eyes took on a dreamy look as he stared across the table and into space, until the king tapped his glass with a fork and garnered everyone’s attention.
“What’s this now,” the king said, glaring at me. “This is to be a happy occasion. You should be smiling like the others, especially you, dragon girl.” He raised his glass. “Now I want everyone to take up a gl
ass, hold it in your hand, and while you do, picture the faces of your loved ones. Your dearly departed loved ones. Picture them smiling, picture them sitting beside you at this table, at a feast like no other. I’ll be sitting at the head of the table with my beautiful queen, but you won’t be marvelling at her beauty because you will be so enraptured by the happy, smiling faces of your loved ones, who will be returned to you as they were the day they left us. We will then celebrate like never before.” He closed his eyes.
“Then picture flying home on that great metal bird of yours.” He paused and opened his eyes to nod at Bruce, who nodded back and raised his glass of ruby red wine. “You’ll be waving at our kingdom through the window and leaving us for your world, returning to family and friends with your loved ones beside you. Victorious.”
It hit me then that Bruce had forbidden our parents not just because they would never allow this, but because it allowed for extra seats to bring home our loved ones. He was that optimistic. It filled me with a rush of hope,
I glanced at Bruce, who held his glass of crimson wine high, his cheeks flushed from too much of it, a smile on his face and a tear running down his cheek.
I closed my eyes and returned to the vision of walking Sam through the gate of our property, the hot easterly wind blowing the smell of sheep and wheat along with the dust. I pictured the two of us running down the track towards our house then stepping on the little red brick pathway through Mum’s pretty herb garden and walking right into the house. We’d smell something fresh Mum had baked and she’d catch sight of us in the kitchen doorway and drop the cake tin she was holding, and Dad would drop his mug, sending black coffee and smashed china all over the linoleum. But they’d smile and laugh, and cry happy tears. They wouldn’t care about the mess because Sam would be home and we’d be together again as a family, and Sam’s death, and the fact that I’d survived and he hadn’t, would be like some distant nightmare, a bad dream that faded with time. And life would be good again.
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