Syren’s Pride
Book 5 in the Syren Series
Jennah Thornhill
Copyright
Syren’s Pride
The Syren’s Series Book Five
Published by Jennah Thornhill
Copyright 2019 by Jennah Thornhill
All rights reserved. ©
This book is a work of fiction. Names, places, songs, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead is coincidental.
Written by- Jennah Thornhill
Edited by- Karina Boote/Obsessed by Books Designs
Book Cover- Envy Design
Formatter- Obsessed by Books Designs
All rights reserved in accordance with the Copyright and Related Rights act 2000.
No part of this publication may be reproduced or copied in anyway.
Dedication
For the one woman who’s been there when I thought life was getting too tough.
When I thought I couldn’t carry on with my writing. The one woman who I love more than anything in the world, yet scares the shit out of me at the same time.
She may be only 4 ft 8, but she will always be my ninja Nan who would kick my arse if she needed too.
My heart, my soul, and my forever friend.
I bloody love you Mary Jones more than you will ever know.
Acknowledgements
Where do I start with all the people that have made it possible for me to do this?
The most important people will always be my family. Nathan, Mollie, Noah, Tracy my mum and Sam my baby brother, you are my rocks and my biggest supporters. None of this would even be possible without your love and encouragement. I will never be able to thank you all enough for putting up with me whilst I’ve had my head stuck in my laptop. I love you all so much.
All the ladies in my Facebook group Jen’s Lovelies- You crazy bunch rock. You make me laugh, smile and generally happy every day. Without you all I actually think I would’ve given up, but you all had my back and kept me from pressing the delete button more than once. A simple thank you wouldn’t be enough for how much I appreciate you all being there for me, but I’m afraid that’s all I’ve got. I hope I haven’t disappointed you with this book, especially after all the teasing I’ve put you all through.
I love you all.
Tracy, my amazing PA without this woman my work life would be a complete and utter mess. She keeps me organized and sane every single day. She’s not just my PA, she’s also become one of my best friends and I couldn’t do this job without her.
My book wife, my other half Sienna Grant. This woman will never know how much she means to me, if it wasn’t for her, I’m almost certain this book wouldn’t have got finished. She kicks my arse on a daily basis and believes in me when I don’t believe in myself. I love ya wife.
Maria Lazarou, this woman has put up with so much crap from me. I’m still wondering how she’s put up with me whilst we’ve edited this book. I love you lady, you’ve been amazing and have become someone I can’t be without. You are amazing at what you do, your editing and formatting is second to none, there’s nothing you aren’t willing to do for me.
Karina, Donna and all my other friends who I’ve bitched to about this book you’re all fab for listening to me and encouraging me to carry on. I love you all massively.
Blurb
Max
Hiding who I really am isn’t easy, but I do it,
I have to - not just for me, but for the guys.
Letting them down isn’t an option for me.
Having the father I had growing up, forces me to keep my mouth shut. The world doesn’t accept people like me easily, if at all.
But what do you do when you fall in love with not one, but two people?
I continue to keep the real me a secret.
Sacrificing my own happiness for the people who have given me everything, is nothing in my eyes.
It’s only when the lines start to blur and I can no longer hide behind rose tinted glasses... I can’t keep pretending that I’m the male whore of my band Syren.
My heart beats for them both.
I’ve hid who I am for far too long and my secret is about to be splashed over every magazine and newspaper for the world to read, I’m about to let down the only family I’ve ever really known.
I just hope they understand because this could be the end of Syren.
Billie-Jo
I’ve always been the life and soul of the party, the happy go lucky person my friends turn to when they need cheering up.
Meeting him changed something in me, he brings the real me to the surface. I know he’s hiding something from me and I’m about to get the shock of my life.
Only it doesn’t make me run, it makes me jump in with both feet, firmly on the ground.
I know who and what I want.
But will they both want me?
Vin
Being in the background is what I love the most about my line of work, you get in and get out.
No complications.
That was until I laid my eyes on the one man who fulfilled all my fantasies.
Working for these guys was supposed to be a fill in job, only I can’t give it up. I can’t give him up.
His heart is divided between the two of us, but so is mine.
I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with either of them
He was supposed to be just a job and I never saw her coming until it was too late.
They say life works in mysterious ways.
There’s a storm coming our way but who will survive?
Prologue
Max
Crack.
The sting from the back hander I’ve just received is pulsing all over my face. I can already feel my bottom lip swelling from the impact.
“You’re disgusting boy, if I have to beat it out of you I will. No boy of mine shall be kissing other boys. You’re not right in the head lad. It’s not the way things should be.”
“But Dad….”
Crack. Another backhander.
“No.” My dad screams in my face, “This shit stops, it stops right now, do you hear me?
I nod my head, unable to speak due to the fact that my lips are now that swollen from where he’s lashed out at me. Now it hurts to even move them.
I was twelve years old when it all started, I didn’t know that what I was doing was wrong. As far as I was concerned, we were just experimenting, like all kids do at that age. Even if I did get a funny feeling after it happened. Well, that was until my dad grabbed me from the park we were playing on and dragged me home. The whole time he was talking to himself, or more like praying to someone.
The beatings didn’t stop there, in fact they got worse. I was criticized for every little thing I said or did. I’m fifteen now, and even if I kinda understand the reasons behind why he beats me, and degrades me all of the time. I still don’t get why what I’m feeling is so god damn wrong. I have no-one to talk to about it, and now I’m too afraid of asking for help, because I don’t want to disappoint my dad any more.
My mother was of no real use to me, she was just as terrified of my dad as I was. She knew there was no point in talking to him, or getting involved when he beat me. He would start on her as soon as he was finished with me. I can remember the first and only time she got in the middle of us. I was on the floor, on my hands and knees, waiting for the sting to come. but it never came. Mum jumped in between us and was on the receiving end of what I can only describe as one of his deadly slaps to your face. I can see it clear as day now, she hit the floor with an almighty thud and was knocked out cold. Dad sent me to my room so he could
deal with mum. I don’t know what he did or what he said to her that night, but it changed her.
Whenever he was there, she would never speak to me, touch me, she never even looked in my direction. It was like I no longer existed to her. Then when he wasn’t there, she was the loving mother I wanted and needed. She would talk to me and I’d talk to her, and we’d both just listen to each other. Nothing was ever off limits when it was just us to. Regardless of how she was on and off with me, I treasured the time we had together because it was rare. She was my mum, and she loved me in her own way. The only way she was allowed to anyway. I understand that now, I’d come to terms with it.
As for my dad I’ll never understand his way of dealing with issues. His way was always painful. The pain he made me suffer.
I don’t think my back or the back of my legs could take another beating from this belt. He never used his own hands unless it was a good stern slap or backhander across the face. When I think back to all the times, he beat me, each blow would get worse. First it was just a clip around the ear, then a slap across the back of head, but the older I got, the harder they came. The worse ones I can remember and probably will never forget were the fag burns on my arms and legs. They would sting for days after, and I could never get the smell of burning flesh out of my head. Then came the lashes of his belt, I couldn’t stand the bite of pain it produced as it hit my back or the soft skin on the back of legs. It was never just one whip, it was multiple strikes.
I just took everything he threw at me, knowing no different. Maybe it was wrong, the feelings I was having most of the time. I was an embarrassment to him, still am. He didn’t want to be any different than the other people on the street, but the older I got, the more I understood who I was. No amount of beatings or crude words would change that.
My dad had a gay son and there was nothing he could do about it.
With the past I had can you blame me if I wanted to keep it a secret for as long as I possibly could?
Have you ever had to hide the real you?
The person that lives deep in your soul. The one that’s just bursting to break free. Yet, you can’t reveal that person to the big bad world.
Why?
When you make up one quarter of the most famous band in England, you have to pretend you’re normal. That you're who the world wants you to be, portrays you out to be. Instead all you want to do is scream at the top of your lungs for them all to understand, but you know they won’t.
The world doesn’t work like that.
Instead, I’m standing in a room full of people, my dick is rock solid and it’s for two particular people.
His eyes follow me around the room. I can feel his stare burning holes into me. With every move I make he’s not far behind me. I want to look at him. I want to take in his beauty, but if I do then I’d be admitting to myself what I've known for a long time.
This man gets me hot like no other. If anyone found out, that would be it. It would be the end of me. Only it wouldn't be just me that it would affect or have to suffer from the consequences. No, there would be three others and their families that would suffer with me. The press would hound them. Shit, maybe even ridicule them.
No. I can't do it to them, this is one secret that will have to stay just that.
A secret.
Losing myself in countless woman is my only way to pretend. To try and forget what is it I really want, to hide my real desires.
Then there’s her. The one woman who does know the real me. All I do is push her away and act like I couldn’t give a fuck about her. When in actual fact, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Chapter One
Max
That’s it.
Out of the four of us, I’m the last bachelor standing. The only one who is free to continue to sow his wild oats.
Over the years I’ve spread myself out a bit. Lost myself in that many women I couldn’t give you an exact number even if you asked me to. These three wankers used to be the same until some woman came along and took their man card away from them.
The difference between them and me though, is that they have a one-track mind. It’s pussy love all the way for them. It’s not that simple for me.
Yes, I love the vagina just as much as the next man. Only it's not just a hot, wet fanny I love. I also love a rock-hard cock. One that’s pointing in my direction and is going to give me unimaginable pleasure.
I knew at a young age that I wasn’t right in the head, as my father so kindly put it when he found me at the bottom of our garden with the neighbours son. That day will forever be etched into my mind. The disgusted look on his face. The disappointment I saw in his eyes. I had let him down. I was not the son he wanted. At fifteen, I knew I wasn’t like all the other lads I hung out with. Don’t get me wrong I loved and appreciated the female form like they did, but deep down inside of me I knew there was something else missing. Something that deep inside my soul was screaming to be let out.
The day Jesse Philips caught me staring at him and told me he fancied me too, even if it was on the sly, is the day that cemented it for me. I was Bi-Sexual, nothing and no-one could change that. I tried my hardest for so long to deny it. To pretend that I wasn’t built that way, but no matter what, the urge to have another male touch me and vice versa just wouldn’t fuck off. I was born this way. It’s who I am. I was all set to say a big fuck you to my dad. Not so much my mum, she knew bits, but not much. I didn’t want to put her in the crossfire. If my dad ever found out she knew anything more than him, he’d make her life a living hell. So, he either accepted me the way I was or I was gone.
Then came along three guys who became more than just my friends and bandmates, they became my family. Music has and will always be an outlet for my emotions. I don’t show them any other way. For some reason I close myself off and just get through life with my charm and wit alone. It’s worked so far for me. Even though we’re as close as can be when it comes to having each other’s backs, I’ve never told them about my sexuality. As far as they are concerned, I only have love for pussy, they’ve only ever seen me with women.
It’s all I’ve allowed them to see. Not because I don’t think they’ll accept me, they will. It’s just I don’t wanna have to tell them all about my past and for me to have to relive it. I don’t want to feel that I’m twelve years old again. I know they’ll look at me differently because of how I was treated as a child, not because I’m bi-sexual.
Even they don’t know how I lust after men, more specifically one man in particular. This man has recently held my attention longer than any other. Only he’s not just some random male I found at the club I attend to get my regular fix.
No.
This man is to die for. His body is just wow and I’ve ran my tongue over it more than once. Whereas I’m fit in a skinny kind of way, he has the extra muscles and grooves in places that should be illegal.
Still feeling his stare on me, I go to indicate for him to follow me to somewhere a little bit more private in the hotel we’re currently in for Liam's and Mel's wedding.
Only I’m stopped short when the woman who also has me doubting my life choices comes sidling up to me. All swaying hips and curves, and don’t even get me started on her tits. I could lose my head in those bad boys for hours. Life would be so simple if I could keep them both, yet life doesn’t work like that. Not for me anyway. I’ve come to the conclusion that I will have to live my life the way I have been doing for the past thirteen years. Being seen with woman after woman, let them get their five minutes of fame by being associated with me. Then when no-one is looking indulge in my other desires on the down-low.
“I’ve been looking for you, I wanted to know if you fancied joining me on the dance floor?”
Her sultry voice tickles my earlobe, as I drag her onto the dance floor quick and sharpish. Not bothering to give her a verbal answer.
Billie-Jo and I have been fooling around for a while now. She came
onto the scene when Allie got attacked and couldn’t continue with the tour that Connor had hired her for. Billie took her place and since then has also kept my bed warm. She knows the rules, we aren’t exclusive. When I’m home she does what I ask. When I’m on tour she knows I’m not going to keep it in my pants either, it’s just not in my nature. The only thing she doesn’t know, is that I’ve grown to have actual feelings for her beyond a sexual relationship, only I can’t let her in. I can’t tell her my secret. She would run for the hills if I did. Even if she’s given me no reason to doubt her feelings towards me; whatever they may be. I know I’m more than just a fuck buddy to her without her actually saying as much, but in my head, I just know she’ll run, who wouldn’t. It’s all I’ve seen with gay people, they lose loved ones because of it. It’s all I’ve had drummed into me all my life, that no-one would want to associate themselves with someone like me. In the eyes of my father and the church, we are sinners and shouldn't be seen. She wouldn’t be able to handle that side of me anyway and no matter what I feel for her, I have to be selfish. I'm not ready to let her go just yet, but I can’t deny myself the deep need in me to fuck men too.
Pulling her into me I whisper in her ear, “You look gorgeous. I could fuck you right here, right now, and I wouldn’t give a shit who watches.”
I roam my hands over her arse, making her gasp when I pull her even closer to me so she can feel my hardening dick in my trousers.
“You’re a naughty boy Maxy.”
Oh, she has no idea.
“You wouldn’t have me any other way though, would you? You love it when I’m naughty, especially with you.” I state, knowing she can’t argue that fact with me.
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