The Soul of Time

by Jennifer Macaire

  The air started to thicken around us. A buzzing started in my ears, and I felt as if I were going deaf. As before, all went still. The night froze, while the stars whirled then coalesced above us into a fiery nimbus of blinding light. All sounds ceased. The men around Voltarrix became immobile. Voltarrix forced his arms to move, and with agonizing slowness, cut the prisoner’s throat.

  Chapter Sixteen

  This time, I couldn’t act. I didn’t have a back-up plan or people waiting in the wings to protect me. I didn’t have needles and thread, a white-hot iron, a sword, or enough energy to fight against the time warp Voltarrix used to make his sacrifices. I could only cry, scalding tears of rage and sorrow, as the man died … and died … and died … while time stood still for hours.

  Then Voltarrix clapped his hands over his head, and the thunder released time. The Roman toppled forwards into his own blood and didn’t move, and the Eaters of the Dead fell upon his body and devoured him.

  I lay in the ferns and stared. I was frozen. Tremors of shock ran through my body. I couldn’t feel my limbs. I kept thinking that perhaps I was dreaming, but my eyes wouldn’t close. I had no control over my body. My nose was bleeding, and the thin trickle of blood down my chin was the only warmth I felt. The scene faded and lightened, the air turned grey, and I realized dawn was approaching.

  The Eaters of the Dead realized this as well. They ended their macabre feast and faded into the undergrowth, disappearing in the direction of the shadows, fleeing the growing light of dawn. A shaft of pale sunlight made its way through the trees, filtering down past pine needles and branches, and landed on one man’s arm.

  He gave a frightened, snarling yelp and scrambled into the dark. I nearly sat up. A tiny pinpoint of light had touched him, and it had looked almost as if it had hurt him. A supernatural fear made my skin crawl. Who were these men? Were they some sort of primeval monsters? My mind failed to comprehend what my eyes had seen. I kept trying to understand and my mind kept telling me I had dreamt everything.

  Voltarrix was the last to leave. He stood in the clearing and looked around him. His face was in shadow, the wolf’s upper jaw jutted from his forehead and the fangs were level with his eyes. The lower jaw had been sectioned and it gaped, lying on his chest as an ornament, holding the wolf’s skin closed. Evidently the druid didn’t sense my presence; he seemed satisfied that no one was watching. He dropped to his hands and knees, then lifted his leg and urinated on the spot of the sacrifice, exactly like a male dog or wolf would do to mark his territory. He uttered a half snarl, half growl and left the clearing, trotting quickly. For the life of me I couldn’t tell if it were still a human dressed in a wolf’s skin, or a real wolf. I lay in the ferns and shuddered until Alexander and Plexis found me.

  They came into the clearing and I saw them but couldn’t stand or speak. I lay in the ferns and trembled, my teeth chattering and my legs jerking in little tremors.

  Plexis came right to the log where I’d been sitting and looked around, but the ferns hid me completely. The sound of my teeth chattering gave me away. He stopped, listened, then suddenly plunged into the thicket where I was hiding.

  ‘Iskander, come quickly. I’ve found her!’ Plexis heaved me up into his arms and lifted me over the log. Alexander grabbed me. His face was drawn and grey with worry.

  ‘Ashley! What happened?’ he asked, nearly shaking me.

  I couldn’t speak. My mouth opened, but no sound came out. I couldn’t stop shaking.

  ‘Quick, build a fire,’ he ordered.

  Plexis took his fire kit from his pouch and, using dried fern and pine needles, soon had a warm blaze. Both men covered me with their cloaks and held me tightly. My eyes were drawn to the centre of the clearing, though, where nothing, absolutely nothing, was left to show of what I’d seen or what I’d thought I’d seen. Had it been some sort of hallucination, I wondered? A hallucination brought on by fear, hunger, and loss of blood? Could the shock of losing my hand finally be sinking in? I quivered, my teeth chattered, and I tried to recall everything I’d witnessed and make sense of it.

  But nothing was rational any more. Suddenly the pine trees with their spiny, spiky needles seemed too tall and too disturbing. The shadows were sinister and the shrill cries of the birds hurt my ears. I whimpered in fear. Finally, the fire caught my eyes. It leapt and danced, its golden tongues reaching for me. Its warmth finally started to penetrate my icy bones. Alexander stroked my hair. My muscles loosened, and I passed out.

  I woke up when the sun touched the horizon and its orange rays made shafts of light between the black pines. When I opened my eyes, I saw Alexander. He was sitting next to me, looking towards the sun, its light setting his hair on fire.

  ‘Alex,’ I said softly.

  ‘Hail,’ he said. ‘How are you feeling?’

  I moved my shoulders and legs. They were stiff but the shaking had disappeared. ‘Better. I have to tell you something, I saw Voltarrix. He’s with the Eaters of the Dead. Alex, he’s their leader, and I don’t think he’s given up the idea of killing you. I saw him, he was dressed in a black wolf skin – and then he was a wolf. I know it sounds strange. I don’t know. I don’t understand what happened.’ My voice wavered and broke.

  Alexander listened carefully, without interrupting, like all people of that time. He listened both to my words and to my voice. When I finished, he nodded. ‘I suspected Voltarrix survived. Yovanix was no match for him.’ His voice was pensive and soft.

  ‘I saw the missing Roman soldier.’ I stopped and stared at Alexander. ‘But I can’t tell you what they did to him.’ My voice climbed very high and broke. Tears spilled onto my cheeks, and the horror of what I’d seen chilled me once more.

  ‘Shhh. I don’t need to know.’

  ‘But you do,’ I said. ‘They’re not normal. There’s something horribly wrong with them. They fear the sun’s rays, and they wear wolf skins like the druids.’

  He shivered quickly, making an involuntary sign against evil. ‘I hear you. The sun frightens them then, good.’

  ‘During the day, I don’t think they will bother us,’ I said.

  ‘What about a rainy, overcast day?’ Alexander glanced upwards.

  ‘I don’t know.’ I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to shut out the memory of a heaving mass of men acting like wild animals, ripping apart the Roman’s body with their sharpened fangs. ‘Where’s Plexis?’

  ‘He went to tell the others we found you.’

  ‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to faint.’

  ‘Let me see your arm.’

  ‘It doesn’t hurt any more.’

  ‘Does it trouble you?’ He looked at me, a question in his eyes.

  ‘I don’t really know yet. So far, I haven’t thought about it. My mind has been full of worry about Paul and Plexis, and you, and now the Eaters of the Dead and Voltarrix.’ I smiled wryly. ‘I haven’t had time to think about myself. Perhaps it’s a good thing. Does it trouble you?’

  Alexander’s face was uncharacteristically still. ‘I remember what you said to me once when I was wounded, that you hated to see me hurt because my body was too fine. I thought it was a strange thing to say. But now I understand you better.’

  The sun slid below the horizon, the shadows disappeared. A night bird hooted and I shivered again. ‘I’m afraid of the night,’ I said.

  ‘We’ll build up the fire.’

  ‘We mustn’t leave the circle of light,’ I said. My heart was beating faster. I felt an icy trickle of fear down my back. ‘Alex, how much time until sunrise tonight?’

  ‘Half an hour, maybe more.’ He looked at me and his face was solemn. ‘It’s been ten days since the solstice.’

  ‘Only ten days? It seems like it was a year ago. How far are we from Orce?’

  ‘Another ten days’ walk. We’re going slowly because of the women and children.’

  ‘And the wounded. I feel so dreadful. Alex, I’m sorry. I seem to be saying that too often,’ I said with a mirthless la
ugh.

  ‘I thought I was dying,’ he said then, taking my chin in his hands and tilting my face up towards his. ‘I felt the knife slice through my skin, and it seemed to take forever. I heard the sound the sharp blade made as it cut my throat and I could feel its hideous coldness. I felt every fibre of my being scream in pain and terror. However, I could not move. Everyone was caught in the solid air. It turned golden, like amber. I remember watching a fly caught in that amber air, just hanging motionless in front of me.

  ‘When you and Paul moved, you both seemed to shimmer. Your skin was silvered as if you were underwater. When you touched me, your hands were as quick flames licking my body. I was helpless, powerless, and unable to move or to speak. But I could see and feel and think. And during that eternity, I thought of all the time we’d been given, all the time we’d spent together, and each minute appeared to me encased in a diamond. I thought I was dying. I didn’t realize I’d been frozen in time. All I kept thinking, over and over again was, “I’m dying, my shade is leaving my body, and I will never see her again. I will never see Paul again, or Plexis, or Chiron and Cleopatra.” All those thoughts ran through my head. I tried to imagine everyone. I tried to picture their faces, to hear their voices. It lasted so long, those moments of agony. Then everything went black. There was a clap of thunder, and it was like waking up in a panic from a nightmare. But it wasn’t a dream, was it?’ His hand reached up and touched his throat lightly.

  ‘Show me.’ I had to whisper. I didn’t trust my voice. Alexander just looked at me, tears running down his cheeks.

  ‘Demos took the sewing out.’

  ‘He did a good job.’ I reached up and brushed away his tears. ‘Don’t cry.’

  ‘I’m not crying.’ He shook his head, then let it fall forward to his chest. ‘I don’t know. Maybe I am crying. I’m so tired. When you disappeared yesterday, I thought you’d been taken by the Eaters of the Dead. Plexis and I tracked them. We followed their trail, but they just led us in a huge circle. Each step I took was a torture. Each minute that went by without you was another agony. I died again yesterday, Ashley. I didn’t realize how much I needed you with me. You are my oracle, my talisman, my lover, and my wife. I’m sorry.’

  ‘Why are you sorry?’

  ‘Because I haven’t told you I love you in so long. I haven’t held you in so long, and I never told you I needed you.’

  ‘I need you too. We all need each other,’ I said gently. ‘It’s called being human, I think.’

  He raised his head and his mouth twitched. ‘I’m waiting.’

  ‘For what?’

  ‘Aren’t you going to tease me some more about my ancestors?’

  ‘I shook my head. ‘No, no, Alex, I’m not. You were born in the middle of a raging storm, and during your birth two eagles came and took refuge in the temple where your mother lay. When you were born your mother said she saw a vision, a blazing trail of stars over the land, marking your destiny. She told you that you were directly descended from Achilles and Hercules, and that Zeus was your father. How could you ever admit to needing anyone? How could any human fill the emptiness inside you?’

  ‘It’s filled,’ he said slowly. ‘It’s filled with you. And all the others I’ve come to need.’

  ‘I have always loved you, and I’ve always needed you.’

  ‘I know that,’ he said, a tiny quiver in his voice.

  ‘Now you must accept the fact that we can die too,’ I said. ‘Accept the fact that we can lose hands, and fingers, and our lives. It’s part of life. To answer your question, yes, losing my hand troubles me, but I will learn to live without it.’

  ‘Perhaps.’ He gave me a blinding smile. ‘But you have never accepted the fact that I could die,’

  ‘Twice,’ I murmured. ‘Twice you’ve died for me.’

  ‘I think that’s enough. I want to grow old with you and the children.’ He cupped his hands on my belly. ‘There is something about a baby that makes you feel immortal.’

  ‘Can you just hold me?’ I asked. ‘Just hold me until the sun comes up?’

  ‘I think I can manage that,’ he said gravely.

  ‘Then hold me, and tell me that everything will be all right; because I’ll believe you if you tell me that.’

  ‘Why? Because I’m such a great warrior?’

  ‘No, because you’re directly descended from Achilles and Hercules, and Zeus, your father, will protect us.’

  ‘I love it when you’re sarcastic,’ he said, burying his face in my neck. ‘It means you’re feeling better.’

  Chapter Seventeen

  The night was only thirty minutes of darkness, but it seemed to last an eternity. Perhaps Voltarrix was up to his tricks again, stopping time, or just slowing it down so that he and his wolf pack of men could hunt. I dreamed I fell asleep in Alexander’s arms. In my dream the wolves were in a hungry circle around us, jaws open, slavering and growling at us. But we were in an enchanted circle of light, and they could not touch us. Then a rainstorm put out the fire, and the wolf-men closed in. Voltarrix raised his arms and stopped time, and I saw what I must do and started to scream.

  I was still asleep. It was only a nightmare. Alexander shook me gently and murmured in my ear, ‘Hush, hush, it’s just a dream. I’m here. Open your eyes, look, it’s morning. Will you be all right now? I have to get some more firewood and breakfast. Plexis will be back with Demos and Axiom, and then we’ll carry you up the mountain.’

  ‘I’ll be fine.’ I suddenly discovered I was weak with hunger. When he mentioned breakfast, my stomach growled so loudly I winced.

  ‘I’ll try to hurry,’ he said with a grin and vanished from the grove.

  I took advantage of his absence to wash in a small, icy stream. I shivered, and wondered why all streams had to be icy. Why couldn’t I find a nice, lukewarm stream? Or discover a hot spring? Why was I always splashing with water that made me gasp when it touched my body?

  I shrieked as I ducked under the water, slapped a mosquito off my cheek, shivered, and rushed back to the fire to warm and dry myself. Then I gingerly unwrapped my bandage to examine my wrist. The sword had been razor sharp, and unfortunately had caught me squarely on the joint where the delicate bones and cartilage had been no match for the heavy blade. The hand hadn’t been completely severed, but Demos had taken it off. There was no use trying to save it. He’d cleaned the wound and cauterized it as he’d learned in the medical school on Kos: first the arteries, then the veins, then the skin. He’d done a good job. My wrist ended in a painful looking knob, but it would heal. The redness would fade, and I would just have to wear long sleeves for the rest of my life.

  A strange pang shot through me. The thought of never having another left hand was sinking in. I tucked the bandage in my belt and plucked wild cabbage leaves. Using one hand and my left elbow, I managed to fashion an acceptable bowl, filled it with water, and put it on the fire to boil my bandages. Then I sat and poked at the fire cradling my hurt arm in my lap. I kept trying to get used to the stump, but every time I saw it, I felt sick. When the linen bandage was sterilized, I hung it on a branch to dry and waited for Alexander.

  He came back with a leather pouch full of roots, a large fish, and a handful of wild berries. He had washed; his hair was dripping, his tunic clung to him, and his sandals were wet. I frowned. He didn’t usually bathe wearing sandals.

  ‘I fell in the creek,’ he said cheerfully.

  ‘I wondered what kept you so long,’ I said.

  ‘It’s strange, but there are no animals left in the region. I must have walked a parasang in every direction. I saw no sign of deer or rabbit. No game birds. They’ve all disappeared.’

  ‘Animals tend to hide when they feel hunted, don’t they?’

  ‘Yes, but they leave a trace. I saw nothing. Well, at least I caught a trout. Here, move over, I’ll make us some breakfast.’

  We grilled the trout and boiled and mashed the arrowleaf roots. It sounds frugal, but I was travelling with someo
ne who was used to gourmet food in any situation. We nibbled on the berries while waiting for our food to cook, getting our lips and fingers purple. Alexander had salt in his pouch, a clove of garlic, and he had picked some fresh herbs, so he seasoned the mashed roots sumptuously. I ate until I was stuffed. Then I leaned back against my husband’s shoulder and sighed deeply.

  ‘That was wonderful.’

  ‘Mmm. Maybe not as good as the dinner we had at Musicanus’s palace.’

  ‘How can you speak so blithely about a man you slaughtered?’ I sat up and frowned at him. ‘I can’t believe you sometimes.’

  ‘I had to slaughter him, he attacked us. It was either kill or be killed. What would you have preferred?’

  ‘It was the Brahmin’s fault. They wanted to fight, Musicanus didn’t. He was tricked.’

  ‘Yes. Unfortunately, I didn’t know that at the time. I am sorry for killing him. He was a good host.’

  ‘He was, wasn’t he?’ I agreed.

  ‘We had a good dinner there, didn’t we? How many courses? Ten? Twelve? And there were musicians and magicians and snake charmers and fakirs – and those dancing girls! Do you remember?’

  ‘Of course.’ I snuggled back under his shoulder. ‘You nearly peed laughing when that poor snake charmer was bitten and died right in front of us.’

  ‘I never peed laughing,’ he said huffily. He brightened. ‘But it was funny, wasn’t it? Do you recall that man who climbed up the rope? I’ll never understand how he did that. The rope wasn’t attached to anything. Amazing. I think I liked the peacock tongues the best,’ he said, darting away to another subject. ‘Or the curried lamb. Oh, and I loved the dish with the creamy coconut sauce. You know what? I’m still hungry.’ He eyed the bare fish bones and the empty bowl. ‘I wish we were in India. I could eat a whole curried lamb right about now.’

  I smiled and snuggled deeper into his arms. He chuckled and the sound was like a purr. His magnificent jaguar eyes softened when he smiled. ‘I hear the others coming.’