I followed Nik to his tent, glad to be away from Blue and finally out of the rain. Still hot after the incident outside, I gnawed on the inside of my lip until I tasted the flavor of my own blood.
Falling into one of Nik’s guest chairs, I didn’t think about taking off my cloak first. Instead I wondered why Blue followed me here. Why couldn’t he leave me alone? I came here to get away from him. And where was Calish? He sent me here! Once he found out Blue was here, I bet he’d kill him himself.
If I don’t get the opportunity to do it myself—
Nik half-sat on the table in front of me. “Am I wasting my time?”
“Huh?”
“Exactly what I thought.” He stood and pulled back the canvas door to let me out. “Ask the kitchen for an assignment. I’ll see you at Council.”
“No,” I begged. “I’m sorry. Blue just won’t let me be, and I…” I stopped, knowing he didn’t want to hear about my problems. “Please, don’t make me go. I don’t want to lose anything else because of him.” I sat down and covered my eyes.
“What have you lost?” He released the panel.
I fought back tears. “Everything that matters.”
“I’ve seen your past, Una, and I will admit, it’s unfortunate.”
I wiped my eye as a single tear escaped.
He walked into what I assumed were his private quarters behind the curtain and changed out of his rain-soaked clothing. When he came back into the common room, he grabbed his raincoat. “Come with me,” he invited. “I want to show you something.”
In an effort of respect, I followed him without asking for an explanation or his intended destination. If everyone in this camp trusted him, I should as well, at least for now. Everything I did seemed wrong. I was not the only one responsible for my life, and if other people would stop meddling in my affairs, maybe I’d have a chance to make my own decisions.
The rain was coming down hard, and I pulled my hood tight as we walked briskly through it. We passed by Blue’s cage, not that I wanted to see him. In my periphery, I saw him stand, but this time he was smart enough to be quiet. Who knows what I would have done if he decided to proclaim his affection for me again.
Nik stayed two steps ahead of me, surely sensing my anxiousness. He paused long enough for me to catch up to him before he proceeded. He nodded to me, and I replied in kind. A burly man joined us and escorted us to the gate without saying a word. Could this be another self-appointed guard?
When we arrived there, the doorkeeper bowed.
“We’re going out,” Nik declared.
“Yes, sir.”
“Please, call me Nik.”
“Yes, sir. I mean, Nik.”
“…And we are going alone.”
“It’s not wise for you to be out there by yourself,” the big man replied.
“I’m not, I’m with her.” Nik pointed to me.
“Do you have a blade, miss?”
“No,” I answered.
“Darts?”
“Nope.”
“What do you have to protect him, your wit?” The guard folded his arms across his chest.
I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing.
Nik took control of the situation easily. “Do you believe that I’m a Seer?”
“Of course,” the guard replied, and the other one nodded.
“Then you will believe me when I tell you that this is not the day I die.” The two men waited, obviously stumped by Nik’s logic. “Now, open the gate, please.”
The doorkeeper didn’t argue, nor did the volunteer. I expected them to follow us, but when the gate closed, it was clear the men respected their leader enough to let him pass.
Nik wound around the hillside. Leading me through a seldom used accessory trail, he stopped at a place overlooking the entire camp. A large evergreen tree shaded the little patch of ground and provided the area natural shelter from the rain.
Taking off his raincoat, he hung it over a broken branch, out of the way. “Welcome to my favorite spot.”
I laid my cloak in his outstretched hand, and he found another branch for mine.
“This reminds me of the place I met Paw.”
Nik sat and invited me to join him. “I come up here at least once a cycle to remind myself of the importance of what we’re doing here.”
“What are you doing?”
“Trying to start anew,” he confessed. “It’s ironic how people expect Seers to have all the answers to everything as if other people have no choice in the matter. Some of them feel so uncomfortable with making a decision that they panic when faced with whether to have chicken or pork for dinner. It’s as if their whole life depended on one meal. The truth is either of them is perfectly fine. There are many wonderful things to experience in life: joy, pain, fear, surprise, love, and loss. If you know everything, you fail to appreciate the gift of free will. It would be easy to order people around, force them into choices they believe they wouldn’t choose for themselves. In the end, they’ll resent us for it. They’ll blame us for it when things don’t turn out perfectly.” He paused. “You see, Una, life is not about being easy or perfect. It’s about the struggle and how one overcomes it.”
Was he counseling me or teaching me? Was this my first lesson or did he know I intended to ask him about Calish’s whereabouts?
“It’s against my better judgment to tell you this, but I knew you were coming,” he admitted. “I recognized you the moment I saw you.”
“I assumed that after you said you and Marsh were friends. Scabs don’t have friends.”
“They do now.”
“You never told me my assignment. I don’t know what to tell people when they ask.”
“You don’t have to be gifted to figure that one out. You’re a Seer. What do you see?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I only see things in flashes or dreams. Usually it’s a warning of some kind. Half the time, I don’t know what the danger is until it’s already happened.”
“Because your gift is primal, unrefined. We’ll work on controlling your abilities.” He looked back out to the camp. “Seers belong in pairs. It’s nice to have a partner even if I have to train you.”
“You need me?”
He nodded. “It’s wise to question those who you’ve placed in positions of power. This place is all new to all of us, and so far, people are content to follow the rules set in place. We expect them to cast aside a lifetime of beliefs about people with abilities and embrace them all. Right now, they trust me because of what I’ve built, but to assume that opinion will prevail is foolish. As the only Seer, they have a valid reason to question my motives. My ability doesn’t diminish my true nature.”
“What is that?”
He chuckled. “I’m a man.”
“Right.” I clenched my teeth, cursing myself for asking something so stupid.
“Men are an imperfect creation. You will help to keep my integrity intact and be a resource for the people. Your training is just as important for me as it is for them.” He gazed into the camp. “No matter what has happened, you must appreciate that it’s all led you here, to this moment. You can either hold on to the anger inside you and be trapped in your past, or own your history, learn to forgive, and use it for your future. It’s your choice.”
His words landed heavily on my heart. I never blamed the Citizens for my plight in life. The Authority earned that privilege. The only person I hated was Blue. Actually, I hated his grandmother more. My wounds, although well healed, were still very fresh in my memory.
By anyone’s standards, I suffered a lifetime already. I didn’t want to suffer anymore. Likewise, I didn’t want to be the unwilling participant in someone else’s decrees. People shouldn’t have the right to own other people simply because they have a use for them. Scavengers shouldn’t be hunted. None of these things were fair. They were evil practices concocted by evil men.
Getting what you wanted must be easy when you knew the future. Making decis
ions wasn’t as scary when you knew how each decision played out. How did Nik know I was coming when I’d already refused the invitation?
Yet, here I sit. So much for free will.
I shook my head. “I choose to move forward, but it’s not because I’m eager to forgive. There’s only one thing I want for myself.”
“What is that?”
I touched my abdomen, connecting with the life that bloomed inside of me. “Freedom, true freedom.”
“There is no more noble pursuit,” he agreed. “Shall we begin your training?”
“Absolutely.”
Chapter 18
Over the next several days, I worked with Nik during the day and spent the evenings with the other residents for dinner. Not having an assignment for kitchen duty like everyone else, I helped clean up after the sun set. Recruiting nighttime volunteers must be nearly impossible after they’ve put in a full day elsewhere in camp.
I didn’t mind the work. Not only could I be helpful, it also kept me from being overly social. What would I share about my day? Should I tell them that I practiced poking around in people’s memories or debated the topics of free will and predestination with their leader? I doubt anyone would care to discuss that. Besides, training left me exhausted. I needed time to mull over the things Nik taught me. There was something about his life of solitude that I envied. He has a private tent, I have a sink full of dishes. We each had our strategies to keep chatter to a minimum, but mostly I just wanted to avoid questions I wasn’t yet ready to answer.
When Trisk and the others started popping into the kitchens to talk, I avoided them by continuing my lessons with Nik past suppertime. He didn’t seem to mind. A few days later, his absence was noticed at dinner service. Since then, his guards brought our meals to his tent. In the beginning, spending so much time with him made me nervous, but that feeling subsided as I learned to do new things. Whenever I met my limitations (which happened a lot), I got frustrated, making it harder to complete a task.
“Hey, you are cramming what took me a lifetime to learn into two moon cycles,” he reminded me. “It’ll come.”
For every question he answered, I had ten more. The long days we spent together passed too quickly. My mind raced at night and woke me up before morning call. Nik learned to expect me sitting outside his residence and smiled when I started bringing breakfast with me. I’d stay with him until my yawning interrupted our conversation or his eyes stayed closed longer than a blink should last. Each night I returned to my quarters, I tiptoed past my snoring bunkmates, only to sneak back out before sunrise.
The days carried one into the other, and soon, I lost track. When the sky cleared and I saw the position of the moons, it surprised me. I had spent nearly every moment with Nik learning not only how to access my gift, but also how to block out erroneous information, including the day of the week, apparently. Over the course of our time together, my exhaustion proved distraction enough, and he noticed.
“Tomorrow, I want you to sleep in. Don’t come here until lunch.”
“Tired of me already?”
He chuckled. “No. But I do have a meeting. I’ve blown off enough, and I’m afraid if I don’t go, they may lock me outside the gates indefinitely.”
I stood and stretched, feeling a bone in my neck pop. “I could use some rest.”
He led me to the door, his hand placed casually on the small of my back, then draped my cloak around my shoulders. “Go—” he kissed my forehead “—get some sleep.”
I pulled my hood over my head and ducked out as he held the canvas high for me to pass.
* * *
Sleeping through the alpenhorn’s wake-up call didn’t end up being as difficult as I thought. For the first time, my bunkmates snuck out without waking me. After eating what had been left for me in the basket at the foot of my bed, I dressed and readied myself for the day. Nik didn’t tell me when to arrive, but since he was a Seer, I figured he knew when I would get there and if it needed to be any different he would have said something.
Taking the long route to Nik’s, I gathered weeds along my walk, stopping only to feed the rabbits and chickens all I’d collected on the way. My attempt to lure them failed, and I ended up tossing the vegetation near the center of their area. A few of the goats beckoned me to pet them, and of course, they ran as soon as I approached. The clouds held their rain, and all the creatures had come out of the stables to enjoy the reprieve, once I stepped away from the fence.
I meandered to my destination, watching the activity of the camp’s residents and greeting anyone who took note of my presence. So this is what I’ve been missing during my lessons. I tripped over a stick left in my path but caught myself with more grace than I expected. And this is why I shouldn’t be allowed outside.
Nik’s guard saw my folly and suppressed his smirk with less finesse than Marsh would have if he’d been witness to my clumsiness. I chuckled as he lifted the canvas door for me to enter my destination.
Nik looked up from the work on his desk when I entered. “You’re late.”
My smile melted from my face as I tried to voice a decent reason for my tardiness while fiddling with the button on my cloak.
“I’m joking.” He set his pencil down and stood to welcome me in. “Keep that on. We’re not staying here.”
“Oh?”
“We’re going to play a game.” He winked. “There’s only one rule: don’t tell anyone about your gift.”
“You want me to talk? To strangers?”
He nodded. “And read them. Without permission.”
The thought alone made me sweat. “Is this because I’m late?”
“You’re not. I told you to sleep in, remember?” He grabbed his coat. “Don’t worry. You are approachable and have a pleasant disposition.”
Whatever that is.
“I bet people will give you what you want too easily.”
I reminded him Scavengers are not well liked, but he didn’t let me finish my plea. “You are the only person here that cares about your status.”
“My lack of status.”
He raised his eyebrows. “You have to try someday.”
My first challenge had been searching for personal events that imprinted on their memories. I’d search for the day they lost their first tooth or if they’d ever released a lantern at the Atchem Festival. Later, he had me assess secondary information such as number of siblings or their parents’ birthright.
Nik’s “game” required an unimaginable amount of concentration. Most of the time, I couldn’t find a reason to touch the subjects long enough to find the answer to his questions. When I started offering free neck massages, he complimented me on my creativity. When people stopped accepting them, my mentor laughed at my expense. My hands were stronger than I thought. I didn’t focus on my subject’s comfort. My fingertips dug into their muscles, making them less relaxed than when they sat down. More than one resident complained about being in pain as they left. If I didn’t find another way to play the game, I feared more people would doubt Nik’s ability to make assignments.
Despite my training exercise, I did have fun. Nik and I were headed back to his tent when we saw Marsh sitting at a table eating lunch with his team.
“You did well today, Una. Why don’t we call it a day? Go spend time with your brother.”
I accepted his offer and rushed to Marsh’s table. He greeted me warmly and offered to share his meal. Thankfully, no one asked about my training. They were all busy gushing over his earlier accomplishments. Apparently, he handled the bow better than expected.
“He’s done so well I stopped betting against him during trials.” Hainen laughed.
After morning drills, Lark told Marsh he felt ready to put him in the trees with the Numbers. Marsh hated everything about the style of weapon they assigned him and attempted several arguments to reclaim his dart gun.
Later that afternoon, he confided in me his aim was more accurate with an arrow and it had a greater range
than the darts ever would. “I guess that Seer isn’t so bad.”
Being the ever supportive sibling, he let me practice my new skills on him. After he declined the shoulder rub, I held his hands to search his past and present. I kept clear of his memories of the Atchem Festival; whatever he did there, he could keep to himself. His infatuation with Trisk, on the other hand, piqued my interest. Most of his recent thoughts were about her, but they weren’t the cheap ones I’d stumbled across involving the festival women of years past. She captivated him with subtle details, like the freckle on her temple, just below her hairline, and how she tucked the strands of hair that somehow escaped her head wrap behind her ear. He noticed she always ate the fruit on her plate first if the kitchen served any, and she held it between her thumb and middle finger while she nibbled. He didn’t attempt to hide any of these things from me, and I wondered if he knew he’d committed these things so steadfast in his memory. I didn’t want to embarrass him and therefore pretended I hadn’t seen them.
I didn’t need to touch Trisk to know she was equally interested in him. Her attempts were so obvious, even Ino rolled his eyes at her ways of flirting with my brother. She didn’t realize Marsh’s only experience had been with overly inebriated women at the festival. He wouldn’t recognize her efforts if she’d given him written warning about it beforehand.
* * *
The next morning, I woke up with a nagging feeling in my stomach. Hawk hadn’t returned with any information about Calish. To make matters worse, Nik postponed my lessons because Council business needed his attention. One day, every moon cycle, the Council presided over general camp issues in an effort to work toward resolutions and create new policies. From what I’d gathered, various section leaders gave report for things such as security measures, food supplies, and animal wellness as well as concerns regarding sanitation, housing, and healthcare. After the major issues were addressed, the Council reconciled personal disputes between residents, like the one between me and Blue. There wasn’t enough time last week, so our appointment was delayed. Strangely enough, most of the other noted conflicts resolved themselves, and our case moved up the priority list.
Season of Hytalia Page 20
