He hated that house. There were good memories with Nat, but not enough of them.
Because he’d had to work so many hours to take care of her.
Home wasn’t the place he’d lived since he’d been a child.
Home was the memories he wanted to keep, the good ones, and the people he loved.
There were no guarantees in life and love could be lost in the time it took to depress a syringe. Less time, even.
Maybe it was time he quit plugging along, head down, nose to the grindstone.
“Life is for the living.” Enzo hadn’t been living. He’d been existing until Tony had come into his life.
Nat had been right to lecture him. Enzo hadn’t looked past each step as he’d taken it.
Now he had a future in sight and he needed to decide what he wanted to do with it.
It was a great idea. He was eager to get to it, but a knock on the door had him grumbling about interruptions.
He opened the door without checking the peephole first and when he saw who was standing outside, he reeled like he’d been punched.
“What do you want, Anderson?” he snapped. The man looked like Hell had rejected him and Death had taken a hard pass, too.
Anderson had once been attractive, but drugs had aged him prematurely. Deep lines cut into his face, his skin was blotchy and raw in spots, and his hair was greasy and unwashed.
“What do you want? Where’s mom?” Enzo shouted.
Anderson turned his rheumy gaze on Enzo. “Dead. Long time, dead. She OD’d a couple years after we…after we left. And now, I’ve come home to die.”
Enzo gripped the door so hard his fingers ached. He wanted to slam the door in Anderson’s face. What right does he have to come back here?
“What’s wrong with you?” Enzo forced himself to ask. He could smell the sickness and filth rolling off Anderson, like he was rotting even as he stood there.
“Cancer. Got it everywhere. Doc said I don’t have long to live. Please.” Anderson’s eyes welled up. “Please don’t make me die in some shit hospital and be buried in a John Doe grave. I’m sorry. I’m—”
Enzo, for all that he was still angry, had only one choice. He stepped back. “Come inside. I want to know what doctor you’ve seen.”
Anderson sobbed and pulled a few wrinkled, dirty papers from inside his shirt. “Here. S’what the doc gave me. Enzo—”
“Lorenzo,” Enzo snapped. He didn’t want to hear his nickname come out of Anderson’s mouth again.
“Lorenzo. I’m so sorry. I know it don’t mean much—”
“Nat almost died,” he said through gritted teeth. “You and mom ran off like some generic version of Bonnie and Clyde, and Nat almost died!” His shout echoed in the house.
Enzo slammed the door and leaned against it. “Leukemia. She was so sick and you were nowhere to help. Too busy shooting up. She won’t want you here.”
For one moment, he wondered if her dream had been a portent of this visit.
“I saw her, yesterday. She’s so beautiful, and grown up, and…and I know I…” Anderson started coughing and crying, a combination that was making Enzo feel as though he might lose the contents of his stomach.
“Did she see you?” Enzo asked. It would explain the dream, if her subconscious had recognized Anderson while her conscious mind hadn’t.
“Don’t—” Anderson gasped. “Know.”
There was blood on his hand when he swiped at his mouth.
Enzo glanced down at the papers Anderson had given him. He didn’t need them to confirm what his senses told him.
And he wasn’t going to be the kind of person to turn out a dying man. He couldn’t.
“Come on. You need to go to the bathroom and clean up. Can you shower? Shave?” Enzo took a hold of Anderson’s left elbow. The scent of blood and sickness made his stomach gurgle.
“I could use a shower. Don’t have any clothes to change into. Could—”
“I’ll bring you some, and I’m going to grab a chair from out back. You can sit on it in the shower, so you don’t fall.” Enzo guided Anderson into the bathroom. “I’ll be right back.”
He got Anderson settled in the shower and left him to get cleaned up after setting out clothes for him.
Then Enzo called his sister’s school and told them she needed to be checked out for a family emergency. It was the truth. He couldn’t let her come home to this surprise and know he’d kept it from her all day.
And he called Tony. Asking him for help was getting easier. Enzo hadn’t had anyone to lean on, but he was learning.
“I’ll be there to pick you up in twenty minutes. Are you sure it’s okay to leave him at your house?” Tony asked.
“He’s dying. He doesn’t smell of drugs anymore, but he’s dying and is weak. He said my mom died a couple of years after they left us. I want him to tell me where, and what happened to her body. Will you stay with me while I ask him?” Enzo held his breath as he waited for the answer.
“I’ll stay with you as long as you want me to.”
Which was everything he’d hoped for.
Chapter Thirteen
Nat looked shell-shocked. She sat in the back seat of Tony’s car, anger pinching her features, twisting her hands and huffing every couple of minutes.
Enzo twisted around in his seat. “Nat, you don’t have to do anything. You don’t even have to talk to him, but I couldn’t turn him away.”
“I know.” She didn’t say anything else.
Enzo pivoted back to face the windshield. “Do you remember seeing him yesterday?”
“There were a lot of homeless people by that bridge a block from school.” Nat sighed. “I try to look at them, so they know someone sees them, but I didn’t— It was just a glance. Didn’t focus on anyone long enough that I could have told you what they looked like. So even when I tried to see them, I failed. He was there?”
“I don’t know. He said he saw you. I’m just trying to figure out where that would have happened,” Enzo explained.
“It doesn’t matter in the end, does it?” Nat asked.
“I guess not.” Enzo leaned his head against the passenger window. “I don’t know how to feel about this. Angry. Sad. Surprised. None of those words seem to be enough.”
“Same here, Enz. I meant what I’d said about being angry and feeling it. That doesn’t mean I want to go off on a dying man. Even if he weren’t my father, I wouldn’t, and that puts me in a weird position because I’m even angrier that I can’t punch him.”
Tony remained quiet. He didn’t have anything to add to the conversation and it was something Enzo and Nat needed to discuss.
He listened as he drove. When Enzo had called him and asked for help, Tony had fallen the rest of the way for the man. Not that he’d had far to go. Enzo had taken little pieces of his heart with every word they’d shared, every kiss, every touch.
Or Tony had given it to him. Either way, it was Enzo’s.
Tony wanted to tell him, but it was best to let him deal with the sudden reappearance of Anderson, and the death of his mother.
What must that have felt like for Enzo? He seems so much calmer than I’d be in his shoes.
By the time they’d reached Enzo and Nat’s home, the tension in the car was palpable. Enzo and his sister weren’t arguing. When they got out, they walked arm in arm into the house.
Tony hung back. He didn’t want to get in the way, but he did want to be there in case Enzo or Nat needed him.
The temperature in the house seemed to drop twenty degrees when Nat looked at her father.
“Natalie.” Anderson’s voice cracked. “I’m—”
“Save it,” she said. “You only came back because you didn’t want to die alone. Not because you love me.”
Anderson shook his head. “No, I do love you. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I do. I’ll…I’ll leave.” He got up and wobbled. Tony though the old man was going to fall, but he didn’t. “Didn’t mean to make things worse
.”
“Right, that’s a good plan. Run away.” Nat jutted her jaw. “Again.”
Enzo tugged on Nat’s hand. “Sis.”
She glared at him. “No. I get to deal with this my way. I’m not going to forgive him in a matter of minutes for something he’s done for years. If I forgive him at all.”
Anderson hung his head as tears ran down his cheeks.
Tony felt bad for the man, felt bad for Nat and Enzo. If there was a proper, easy solution, he didn’t see it.
“I should go,” Anderson reiterated. “It’s better. I’m sorry, Nat. I am. I can’t undo what I did.”
“I wouldn’t want you to,” Nat said. “You know why? Because I had the best person in the world taking care of me. Enzo worked three jobs to put me in private school. He missed out on having his own life to make sure I had mine.”
“I didn’t miss out on anything, Nat.” Enzo tipped his head up. “I didn’t. I didn’t make sacrifices. I just loved you and still love you. You’re my sister and it’s been my honor to be here for you.”
“This!” Nat sniffled then sobbed and flung herself at Enzo. “This is what a parent looks like. This is what someone who loves you does. You’re what I aspire to be, Enz.”
Anderson lowered himself to the couch.
Tony knew the man was a jerk. Even so, the misery and pain in his expression compelled Tony to go to him.
“She’s right. Me leaving would be the easy way out. Again.” Anderson scrubbed at his cheeks. “Was easy to run off and pretend like I did it for Nat. It’d be a lie to believe it.”
“At least you see that. Enzo, he loves Nat and has put her first since you left.” Tony sat beside Anderson. “Where’s his mother’s body?”
“Buried in a mass homeless grave in a small town in Missouri. I’ll tell him where.”
“Good,” Enzo said from behind them. “I want to know where she is. And if…if I can bring her back here.”
Anderson nodded. “I’ve got the name of the place written in here.” He took a ratty, small notebook from the pocket of his sweats. “It’s in here.”
“You wrote it down?” Enzo asked, taking the notebook. “Why?”
“Drugs,” Anderson replied after a coughing fit. “Knew I wasn’t gonna stop using them and I didn’t want to forget her, or how much I loved her.”
Enzo opened the notebook. “You have a picture of Nat in here.”
“And one of you,” Nat said.
“Carried those around. Loved you both, but I didn’t love you enough.” Anderson started coughing again.
Tony got up. “Tissues?”
“Hall closet,” Enzo instructed.
“You’re damn right you didn’t love us enough.” Nat turned away. “I’m going to my room. We’ll see how long you hang around this time.”
Tony stopped her in the hall. “Nat, I’m not telling you what to do, but I don’t think Anderson has much time left.”
Nat flicked a few strands of hair away from her eyes. “I am aware and I’m not being a jerk. It’s just very obvious he’s not well. I need to go to my room and think about this. It’s a lot.” Her eyes welled up. “He only came back because he’s dying. But…at least he did come back.”
She rushed past him and went to her room.
Tony found the box of tissues and brought them over to Anderson. “Here you go.”
Anderson took them. “Thank you.” He used a tissue to swipe at his mouth. “You Enzo’s boyfriend?”
“I am,” Tony replied, looking at Enzo.
“He’s mine,” Enzo agreed. “And I’m his.”
“Hang on to each other, and don’t be stupid.” Anderson closed his eyes. “I’d have done anything for your mom, Enz—Lorenzo. Did do anything for her, including heroin and other shit.”
“She didn’t put a gun to your head,” Enzo muttered. “Don’t pin that on her.”
“I’m not. She didn’t. I willingly did what I thought would keep her with me and I lost her and you kids. I don’t deserve forgiveness, but maybe I can give you both closure,” Anderson said. “Can I sleep now?”
Enzo came around to the front of the couch. “Yes. Let me help you up. Then you can have my bed.”
“Oh, no, I can’t do that. Couch is fine.” Anderson fell over onto his side. “It’s fine.”
Tony pulled Enzo into the kitchen. “We can get him a bed, one of those adjustable kinds, and put it in the living room. He probably needs hospice care. Do you know if he has any kind of healthcare?”
“Might say on the papers he gave me.” Enzo pointed to a few sheets of wrinkled, dirty paper. “I didn’t read those yet.”
“I’ll look at them.” Tony kissed Enzo then got the papers and read them. “Looks like the hospital has an indigent care program he was signed up on.” A date jumped out at him. “He was diagnosed last week and given four to six weeks to live. No treatment suggested except palliative care.”
Enzo bowed his head. “I’ll take care of him.”
“Enzo.” Tony cupped his chin, encouraging him to look up. When Enzo did, Tony continued. “Let me and Nat help and my family, too. You don’t have to do this alone.”
Enzo caught his bottom lip between his teeth as he stared at Tony and after a long moment, he nodded. “Okay. I’d…please, I’d appreciate it.”
“Think you can make an early dinner at my folks’ place today? You and Nat both. My parents will love you.” Tony’s heart fluttered. “I love you.”
Enzo’s eyes glistened. “You do?”
“I do,” Tony assured him. “How could I not?”
Enzo glanced away. “Mom didn’t. I made excuses, but she didn’t love me enough not to use drugs. Not to leave.”
Tony moved closer, sliding one arm around Enzo’s waist, caressing his cheek with his other hand. “I don’t think it was a lack of love on her part. Anyone who knows you loves you. Nat thinks the sun rises and sets by you. And so do I. Ina wants you to be her Pop. You’re the most lovable man I know.”
A soft cry escaped from Enzo before he wrapped his arms around Tony. “I love you, too. It doesn’t fix everything, but knowing you love me gives me a strength I never had before.”
“God, Enzo. I hope I can be as good a man as you,” Tony confessed.
Enzo pressed his lips to Tony’s and kissed him. “You already are.”
Epilogue
“Thank God.” Tony slumped, leaning against Enzo.
Hector patted his arm. “Told you she’s going to be just fine.”
“Yes, everyone said so, but there’s always worry, even though she’s been healthy and happy.” Tony shook himself. “I don’t think this will ever get easier.”
“It’s hard, but every time you get the report back that she’s healthy, you’re just so grateful, nothing else matters.” Enzo glanced toward the door the doctor had just exited. “No, it doesn’t get easier, but Ina will get past this and so will you. Now, let’s go get her. She’s going to grumble about having to leave the game she’s playing behind.”
Hector held up a finger. “What one is it? I’ll buy her one.”
Tony glared at him. “Oh, no you don’t. She’s spoiled as it is. She doesn’t need a—a new game.”
Hector shrugged one shoulder. “I can just get her one of each.”
Tony rounded on him. “You’d better not.”
“I was teasing,” Hector said. “Now, I want to see my princess.”
“I’ll text Nat and let her know all’s good. She knew it would be, though.” Enzo sent his sister the text. In the few days since her dad had shown up at the door, Nat had been surly and he didn’t blame her. But she loved Ina, having finally gotten to meet her at Tony’s parents’ house.
Enzo and Nat were adjusting to Anderson being there. Truthfully, Anderson seemed to be a decent person now. He’d been patient and good with Enzo when he’d been a boy. It was kind of nice to have that version of Anderson back, as opposed to the dumpster-fire that Anderson had been while on heroin.
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He was still dying. Nothing would change that. Enzo hoped, for her own sake, that Nat was able to make peace with her dad.
Enzo was trying. Letting go of the anger had been difficult but necessary. He didn’t want his achievements to be driven by a negative emotion.
“I’ve got my girl,” Hector crooned. “You come home with me for a few hours and we’ll do some shopping.”
Ina bounced in his arms. “Daddy, can I? Please?”
“Go for it, super-girl. Give me a kiss first.” Tony got his kiss and Enzo received one, too.
“I’ll call when we’re on the way back. Just in case.” Hector waggled his eyebrows.
“You do that.” Tony kissed Ina’s cheek.
Enzo kissed her other one. “Be good, sweet girl.”
“I will.” Ina waved at them until she was out of sight.
“So,” Tony began.
Enzo ghosted a hand over his jeans-clad ass. “Your place?”
“You bet.” Tony walked as briskly as he could and got them to his car in record time. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”
Enzo cupped his own bulge. “You got me. Are you going to fuck me?”
“Make love to you, then fuck you,” Tony promised.
“I’d ask what the difference was, but that thing you did to me after I met your parents, where you went slow and made me lose my mind, that was definitely making love,” Enzo muttered.
“God, we need to hurry up and get back to my place,” Tony groused. “Come on.”
Enzo was right there with him. They got into Tony’s car and exited the parking garage.
“I’m glad you only live a few minutes away,” Enzo said. “I’m not going to last long.”
“Me, neither.” Tony was lucky—he caught all green lights on the drive home. “Record time.”
He unbuckled then was kissing Enzo, dueling tongue for tongue until they had to come up for air.
“Inside.”
Enzo exited the car after that. He joined Tony outside and they walked across the lawn to Tony’s house.
And as soon as they were inside, Tony was kissing him, raking his blunt nails over Enzo’s skin, stimulating him endlessly. He was drawn to Tony so intensely, his entire body craving him.
Mr. September Page 10
