by Robyn M Ryan
This Piece of Our Being
Clearing the Ice Series, three
Robyn M. Ryan
This Piece of Our Being is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Any products named are trademarks of their respective companies and are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Except as permitted by US Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database, or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author. All rights reserved.
Cover Photo: © Depositphotos/gstockstudio
Cover Design: Bruiser Designs, a Division of L. Woods, LLC
Edited by: C. Lockwood, Rachelle Reese, Mary Callaghan
Excerpt from Healthy Scratch @2017-2020
© 2017-20 Robyn M. Ryan. All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-9973788-1-8 print
ISBN-13: 978-0-9973788-3-2 epub
ISBN: 978-0-9973788-2-5 mobi
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Epilogue
Healthy Scratch Sample Chapter
Also by Robyn M. Ryan
This Piece of My Soul
About the Author
This Piece of Our Being is dedicated to
My soulmate, my best friend, my hubby
Thank you for making it possible to
Chase my dream!
1
Removing the two positive pregnancy tests from her purse, Caryn Chadwick sank to the bed and focused on the bright bands that crossed each strip. Pink. My favorite color…at least when I was seven. Shades of pink defined her world…bedroom walls painted like cotton candy…bright pink flowers adorned curtains and bedding. Her dad called her a pink snowball when she wore her favorite hot pink puffy ski jacket, scarves, gloves, and boots. Caryn tolerated only pink hair ribbons. “My signature color,” she told anyone who listened. What seven-year-old even knows that term? Signature color? Much later, she realized her parents had begun molding her for the future they planned for her life.
“Signature color”—her mother’s influence, of course—from her dreams of pursuing fashion design and taking her portfolio to Paris. But, as she always said, love had other ideas. Dad’s career needed her more than she needed Paris. So they sometimes looked at her designs and discussed possible color combinations and fabrics. Some of Caryn’s color choices caused her mother’s eyebrows to rise, but she never laughed. Lime green and lavender. Hot pink and turquoise. Sometimes the softer “Easter egg" colors.
Her mother never encouraged her to pursue anything beyond the impromptu design sessions. Caryn had a vague idea she’d go to work with her father one day. Her mother said she’d be in charge of the company and that goal would always determine how much energy she could devote to “other” activities. But, at seven, she envisioned her future working in her father’s huge office, redecorated in shades of pink.
The doorbell rang, and she heard Andrew greet his brother, Tom. We need to leave soon. She placed the tests back into her bag, next to the ultrasound photo that confirmed the baby’s due date—news she had yet to share with Drew. And would not until they had reconciled. There are too many things to resolve. He can’t walk back into my life and pick up where we left things in April.
The last time she saw him at the Rehab Center still haunted her. Love wasn’t enough to keep us together. He didn’t…doesn’t trust me.
His words continued to hurt months later. “I don’t have the energy to figure out what’s going on…need to concentrate everything on regaining my life, helping my brain heal…can’t wonder who doesn’t believe I’ll ever recover…can't doubt myself.”
But he trusts Kristen—his physical therapist—over me. How do we even discuss that topic? He needed space from Caryn so he could focus his energy on his recovery. Andrew came to Toronto to visit his parents, not to look for her. He only knew I was here when he saw my things in the townhouse.
Caryn looked around the bedroom one final time. Ready to head back to Tampa. The unexpected encounter with Andrew that morning still unnerved her, but at least she could return with a glimmer of hope flickering in her heart. After months of no communication in Tampa, we meet by chance in Toronto—the city where we fell in love?
Fate placed their lives on an unlikely collision course that summer day on campus almost five years ago.
Just as it did this morning.
Was it fate that Andrew received the offer to sign with the Tampa Suns the previous year? If he hadn’t signed the contract, if they hadn’t moved to Tampa, would he be rehabbing from a head injury right now? Would that slapshot have struck his head if they’d stayed in St. Louis?
One thing’s for sure—fate had absolutely nothing to do with Drew telling me last April that love is not enough.
Caryn sighed, wanting to cling to the confidence Andrew had projected that afternoon when he promised they could work through the turbulence of the past months, move past the accusations and betrayal, and allow their love to lead them forward…together. Maybe fate will look kindly on our future.
She took a deep breath and walked down the stairs.
Tom stood to greet her with a warm hug. “You doing okay, little sister?”
Caryn nodded with a smile. “I thought I’d see you tonight in Tampa.”
“Thought you were with Lauren in St. Louis,” he retorted.
“Sorry, I had an unexpected meeting…I needed time alone.” She peeked at Andrew with a small smile. “But, I’m ready to go home to Tampa.”
“Your flight’s at seven?” Andrew confirmed.
“Yeah, I guess we should leave for the airport. Never know about traffic.” Caryn swatted Andrew’s arm as he made a show of looking at his watch. Naturally, he’d tease her about her obsession with getting to the airport early. She reached for her suitcase.
“No, let me get it,” Andrew said, grasping the bag’s handle.
Caryn started toward the rear car door, but Andrew opened the front door. “I’ve got the back seat.”
She protested, but he held the door open until she slid into the seat. Stubborn as always. So glad Tom’s driving—need a buffer right now. She never expected to see Andrew in Toronto, and her mind raced in a million directions. She sensed his presence behind her, detected the light scent of his body wash. Part of her longed to sit beside him, craving his touch—even just his leg pressing against hers. But, at the same time, she couldn’t forget what he’d said, that he’d trusted Kristen, not her.
She panicked, realizing ho
w quickly she could forfeit the independence she’d discovered the past four months. Words flow easily…but actually following through? She took a deep calming breath and shut her eyes.
“You okay?” She heard Tom’s soft question.
“Usual pre-flight jitters.”
“I told you I’d fly down with you, then head back to Toronto,” Andrew put his hand on Caryn’s shoulder as he leaned forward from the back seat.
Caryn’s heart raced at the unexpected touch, and she shivered involuntarily. She pulled away and then turned her head to speak. “Save the money, Drew. I’m fine.” So glad I’m flying out today. I can’t handle this closeness, not when he knows just how to weaken my defenses. I need to protect my heart.
“You can let me out here,” Caryn directed as the car neared the Toronto airport’s curbside check-in stations. The beautiful clear skies promised a smooth takeoff, and her careful online check of the weather en route to Tampa had revealed no summer thunderstorms to disrupt the August afternoon flight.
“You’re flying international,” Tom reminded her. “I know how much your suitcase weighs.”
“Bet you need to pay the over-weight penalties,” Andrew predicted. “Sure you don’t want to fly in a private jet?”
“By myself? Hardly.”
Tom pulled into the short-term parking lot and grabbed her suitcase from the trunk. Caryn picked up her carry on bags, but Andrew took the heavier one and slipped the strap over his shoulder.
“Seriously, Drew? You’re taking my turquoise bag?”
He shrugged. “You don’t like the look?”
Tom stopped in front of them, held up his phone and snapped a photo. “I’ll send that to you to post on his Instagram.”
Caryn giggled, imagining the comments Andrew would receive from both his teammates and fans. “Thanks. I’ll forward it to Lauren.” She peeked at Andrew from the corner of her eye. His blue eyes caught hers and held her gaze for a beat.
“Thanks a lot.” His smile softened the sarcasm. “A year ago, we were heading to Tampa on a private jet.”
“I remember,” she answered with a sigh. “But, that’s because the Suns wanted to sign you.”
“And you don’t think they’d send the jet again if I asked?”
“I know they would. No need to take advantage.” She pulled her passport and boarding pass from her purse and handed them to the agent. She watched as the suitcase disappeared on the carousel and then looked up as Andrew spoke.
“Even with Kelly and Terri meeting you, please get help with the suitcase.”
She flashed a smile as they moved away from the counter. “Yes, dear, I promise.” She couldn’t resist the smirk, even as his concern caused her defenses to thaw a bit further.
“So, do you belong to one of those fancy sky clubs?” Tom looked at Caryn as they walked through the main concourse.
“No, I haven’t traveled enough to justify it. Though, if we get the contracts we’re pitching in California, or a European project Lauren’s pushing, we may.”
“Who’d have guessed four years ago that managing pro athletes’ social media accounts would mushroom into an international venture?” Tom tipped an invisible hat toward her. “Now, with you and Lauren offering seminars for front office staff, do you worry about losing clients on those teams?”
Caryn laughed as they stopped in a food court near security. “Not at all. Just managing the team accounts take time. Few wish to add supervising individual player accounts—unless there’s a huge problem. As far as the international venture, that’s all Lauren.” She glanced at her watch. “Guess I am here way early.” She frowned as Andrew aimed a knowing smile at her.
“And we’re supposed to act surprised?” he asked and then pretended to wince as Caryn jabbed his arm. “We can get something to drink.”
“You guys sit—I’ll get it. Cokes? Water?” Tom asked.
Andrew watched his brother walk across the food court and then reached for Caryn’s hand. When she pulled hers back, he pretended not to notice and led her to a table. “We should go somewhere exotic.”
Caryn looked at him with a small smile and sat on the chair he held for her. If only...
Andrew sat beside her and then brushed his fingers against her face. “One day soon.” His heart sank as she flinched and pulled away from his touch…again. He restrained the urge to gather her in his arms and kiss the hesitation and wariness from her mind.
Caryn’s eyes filled with sudden tears, and she shook her head as she swiped her hand across her face. “Andrew, where do we begin?” Her voice was a hoarse whisper.
“If we work together, we can do anything.”
She looked at him, her amber eyes demanding the truth. “And we forget all the accusations, everything we…”
He answered before she could finish the question. “All I know right now is I love you, Caryn. I love you, and if you give me the chance, we will work through everything.”
Caryn nodded, but didn’t respond for several moments. Andrew knew in his heart they could resolve everything if they spoke honestly to each other. All he asked was the chance to make things right. Kristen flashed through his mind. Does Caryn know more than she lets on? He’d have to tell her everything, from that stupid kiss in the gym to the fiasco during the massage. That’s the only way we can undo all the damage to our marriage—with the truth.
“Will I be welcome at the Rehab Center?” Caryn asked. “Or do you still need space?” Andrew heard the bitterness in her voice. But, before he could respond, she pushed her chair back, shaking her head before he could speak.
“Carsick.” She looked around, spotted the restroom and rushed toward it.
Andrew followed and waited nearby, concern clouding his thoughts. Sick? Fighting a migraine? Or carsick, like she said? If it hadn’t happened earlier…
He looked at his brother when he stepped beside him. “Making sure she doesn’t ditch you?” Tom teased.
“Said she was carsick. She had a similar episode back at the townhouse.”
“Maybe the shock of seeing you today?”
Andrew scowled, then shrugged. “Perhaps. She may feel better once she’s on the other side of security.”
“I’ll check her as much as I can, at least make sure there’s no fever or migraine looming.” He held Andrew’s gaze. “The past months have taken a toll on her.”
Andrew nodded, his eyes drifting toward the exit to the rest room. “Understated as usual.”
Tom clapped a hand on Andrew’s shoulder. “I’ll grab a table over there. Water or soda may make her feel better.”
Caryn walked to the sink to splash water on her face. She rinsed her mouth with water, dabbed her cheeks dry, and left the restroom.
Andrew stepped to her side, and she saw the concern in his expression. “All right?”
She nodded, but didn’t speak as she followed him to the table.
Tom pulled a chair back for her and sat in the chair beside her. “How about some water or a soda?” he asked, offering both bottles.
“Water, please. Just carsick, Tom. I’m fine.” Caryn sipped the drink as she saw him examining her face. She held out her arm. “Check my pulse, Dr. Tom. I’m okay.”
Tom smiled, but first rested his hand against her forehead. “Migraine?”
“Tom, I feel much better now.”
“You wouldn’t try to fake it, would you? I can understand you wanting to get away from my brother, but…”
Caryn cut him off with a laugh, even as she noticed the slight irritation flicker across Drew’s expression. “Believe me, Tom, I’d never board an airplane if I had any glimmer of an oncoming migraine.” She nodded toward Andrew. “I’d stay here with my personal physician and let someone take care of every little need.”
“Including chicken soup?” Tom challenged.
“No, your mom’s, of course.”
Andrew leaned to kiss her forehead. “Offer’s open, migraine or not.” She didn’t flinch this time.
“You well enough to travel?” Andrew persisted.
“Promise.”
Tom smiled and leaned to kiss her cheek. “Hang in there, Caryn. My brother can be fairly dense, but he catches on eventually,” he whispered. Caryn giggled as Tom straightened and looked at his brother. “I'll pull the car around.” He turned back to Caryn. “And, I’ll see you soon in Tampa.”
Andrew watched Tom walk toward the door and shifted his glance to Caryn. Good, the color’s returned to her face. She suppressed a grin as she looked at him.
“I don’t suppose I want to know what Tom said to you.”
“Probably not.”
He took the bottle from her hand, set it on the table beside them, and then brushed the hair away from her forehead. He sighed in relief when she didn’t pull away.
“I wish you’d stay,” Andrew said quietly.
Caryn shook her head. “I need to help Lauren with all these opportunities she’s lined up. If all goes well, we’ll receive invitations to meet with some of the West Coast businesses.”
“Please schedule time with me on your calendar.” He grasped her hand as they walked toward the security line. “Text me when you’re boarding?”
“I will.” Caryn pulled the boarding pass and passport from her pocket.
“And catch up on your sleep when you get home.”
