by Robyn M Ryan
“If this is a dream, please don’t wake me,” she said against his mouth.
“No dream. Just you and me.” Andrew pulled back, searching her eyes. He read nothing but desire and need, and he gently caressed her cheek as he spoke. “You know where this is heading?”
Caryn giggled, her amber eyes suddenly sparkling. “I think I might.”
“Are you sure you want this?” Andrew asked quietly.
“More than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
He kissed her gently. “It’s not exactly taking things slowly.”
She pulled him back toward her, craving his kiss and the feel of his body pressed against hers. Andrew’s reservations dissolved as Caryn slipped her hands beneath his shirt. Her hands explored his chest and his abs before tugging at the shirt until he pulled it off and tossed it aside. Her shirt followed, and they both relished the skin-to-skin contact.
He wanted to go slowly, demonstrate his love through each caress and kiss—the love that had never wavered. Caryn responded feverishly, demanding more, pulling him along with her on the waves of desire. She clung to him as if he were her life preserver and only this validation of his love could save her.
16
Cary snuggled against Andrew. This is “us”…what we’ve needed all this time. Love can overcome any problem. She pulled back until she could see his face. “Have I told you how much I love you, Drew?” She tenderly brushed her hand against the scruff on his face.
He pulled her toward him so he could kiss her. “A few hundred, maybe thousand times,” he replied, then showered tiny kisses against her face. “I could spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I love you.”
She rested her hand against his shoulder. “Remember what I told you about keeping your shirt on?”
“Yes…”
“I double down on that. You’re definitely more…ripped, shall we call it?”
Andrew laughed softly. Caryn pressed her finger against his lips. “Only one exception…Shirt stays on unless I say otherwise. You. Are. All. Mine.”
“No argument here.” Andrew kissed her tenderly and then pulled back reluctantly. “If I thought I could get away with skipping my afternoon sessions, I’d stay right here.”
Caryn giggled. “You’ll have a medical response team breaking down the door.”
Andrew glanced at his watch. “Shower with me?”
“You have to ask?”
Andrew sat up, pulling her with him. He held her chin so she looked directly into his eyes. “You said no more decisions today. As much as I wish we could pretend this erases all our issues, I do realize we have a lot of work ahead to repair our relationship.” He brushed his fingers across her cheek. “Maybe we can start with dinner? Tonight?”
“What would you like? I’ll even bring a red-checked tablecloth.”
“Not necessary. I want to take you out for dinner. I got a recommendation for a little restaurant I think you’ll like.”
Caryn smiled. “Adventurous? You’ve never been there?”
“First time for both of us. If we don’t like it, there are plenty of other places we can go.”
“Sure, like the food court.” Caryn teased with a light laugh. “So…what time should I pick you up?”
Andrew shook his head. “I’ll pick you up…about seven?”
“Have you been cleared to drive?” An excited smile lit up her face.
“Not yet. But I’ll take care of transportation.”
“Dress code?”
“Anything. You. Want.” Andrew leaned to kiss her. “After we shower, we’ll have just enough time to grab something at the food court.”
“Yes, there’s a vanilla milkshake calling my name.”
When Caryn returned home, she headed straight to her closet to select several options to wear for dinner. Sundress? Maybe with a light jacket? She pulled several from the closet and placed them on the bed. Or maybe that little black dress Drew loves? She added it to the bed. The yellow eyelet sheath. I don’t think I’ve worn that since Antigua. Maybe… She smiled as she shut her eyes, trying to recapture the sensations and love expressed just a short time ago.
Kinda jumped him there…hormones? She’d craved his touch, his arms around her, listening to his heartbeat, their bodies joined as one. Her friends told her to listen to her body. Cravings a hint of something her body needed? No kidding.
Caryn reluctantly walked into her office to retrieve a bottle of water, her conscience nudging her to print out the contract she’d agreed to sign. She read each sheet as it printed, most of it nearly memorized, irritated each time she came across one of the changes Wesley insisted they make. The upfront retainer still irked her. Their counteroffer just half of what the contract initially proposed. For such a huge corporation, the amount they quoted should have been a non-issue. Not that they couldn’t afford to front the costs, just the principle. Why didn’t she stand firm?
She grabbed a highlighter and marked sections of the contract she needed to compare with her notes. She couldn’t shake the sense of foreboding as she set the final sheet aside. Was she overthinking this? Nerves because it pushes near my due date—or is there a gotcha in the contract I’m missing?
Tomorrow, she’d read through it with a fresh outlook. She didn’t want a headache to spoil her date with Drew. Glancing at her watch, Caryn decided she could indulge in a quick nap before she dressed. She took her water with her as she returned to the bedroom. She set multiple alarms to ensure she didn’t sleep too long and then curled up on the side of the bed not covered by clothes. Sleep came quickly as her mind replayed their stolen moments just a short time ago.
Andrew reached to open the front door and then pulled his hand back. He pressed the doorbell and stepped back a step as he processed the awkward realization that this house hadn’t been his home for most of the past year. At this moment, this is Caryn’s home and I need to respect it.
He saw the door opening and the surprised expression that crossed Caryn’s face.
“Andrew, why didn’t you just come in?”
He handed the bouquet of gerbera daisies to her as he leaned to kiss her cheek. “I’m picking up a beautiful woman for a date. I would never assume you were ready to go.” He swept his eyes over the yellow sheath dress and smiled. “You look absolutely stunning, Cary.”
Caryn waved him in with a smile that reached her eyes. “Do you remember the last time you saw this dress?”
Andrew pretended to think as he followed her to the kitchen and watched her place the flowers in a vase. As if I’d forget that night. Antigua. Catered dinner on our private terrace with its own swimming pool. No, that dress didn’t stay on her long, but I remember every detail.
Caryn looked at him expectantly. “Do you need a hint?”
“I remember you screeching not to toss you into a pool wearing that dress.” He couldn’t resist a smirk when she looked at him, her eyes stormy and her arms crossed in from of her.
“Screeching, Andrew? Seriously? You must be thinking about someone else.”
He chuckled as he pulled her into his arms for a quick kiss. “Let me amend that. You politely asked me to remove said dress before I tossed you into the pool.” He kissed her forehead and watched her cheeks grow pink when he continued. “And I remember exactly what you were wearing—or should I say not wearing—when I unzipped your dress.”
Caryn laughed as she pressed her hands against his chest. “After a romantic dinner, I didn’t expect to take a swim.” Her amber eyes betrayed her emotions as she remembered that night.
“I promise. No midnight skinny dipping tonight.” He offered his arm. “Ready to go, sunshine?”
Caryn felt like a princess…the limousine with its luxurious interior, her attentive prince painfully handsome—make that painfully hot!—in a custom tailored suit, and a destination which immediately transported them into the most elegant restaurant in Paris.
Caryn grasped Andrew’s hand as she looked around the restaurant i
n wonder. Every detail spoke Paris and the music swept her into the country. Even the maître d’ greeted them in flawless French. Andrew’s hand rested on the small of her back as they walked to their table, and memories of their honeymoon in Paris flashed through her mind.
“Drew, this is amazing…I should say magnifique. You just whisked us across the ocean.”
His eyes captured hers. “It does remind me of Paris…and an unforgettable three weeks with my new bride.”
The maître d’ held the chair for Caryn, and Andrew waited until she was seated before he slid into the chair opposite her. He accepted the wine list and greeted the waiter when he introduced himself, nodding when the waiter continued to speak in French. Caryn smiled at her husband’s facility with the language, thinking about the many hours he’d spent working with her on the correct pronunciation of “le français parisien”—in deference to her grandmother in Montreal who chose to speak only French, not Québécois, and definitely not English.
Andrew met her eyes across the table and she saw the amusement in his expression. “Thanks to you and your beautiful grandmother.”
“Parfait,” Caryn replied with a smile. “I do feel like we just stepped into France. That’s not one of those time-travel limousines, is it?”
Andrew laughed quietly as he scanned the wine list. “Not to my knowledge. What would you like to start? Pinot Grigio, chardonnay…”
“Sparkling water. Perrier of course.”
“No wine?” he questioned, a look of surprise crossing his face.
“Not tonight. But, please, go ahead and order whatever you’d like.” Caryn felt a flutter of anticipation as she looked at Andrew. “You know, all the women were turning to look at you when we walked through the restaurant.” She saw the hint of amusement in those blue eyes.
“Didn’t notice. I did see too many men checking you out.” He glanced at her left hand. “I was ready to hold your hand up and point to the wedding ring.”
Caryn felt her face growing warm. She glanced at the appetizer menu when the waiter took their drink order. Something safe…no morning sickness tonight. “Andrew, how about the fresh baguette with the selection of dipping oils?”
“No escargot?” She met his eyes and pretended not to understand he was teasing.
“You should order some…for yourself.”
“Pâté de foie gras?”
She shook her head. “I’ll stick to the baguette. But don’t let me stop you. Order something exotic.”
“Not likely. The baguette sounds good to me.”
The evening was magical from the moment Andrew rang the doorbell. Caryn treasured the respite from the painful discussions they faced. For that day, that one evening, they pretended the months since April never existed. Caryn lay in bed, the memory of Andrew’s parting kiss lingering. She’d wanted him to stay so badly, wanted to feel him beside her in the bed, wake up in his arms…But, she also knew they couldn’t solve their problems by simply ignoring them. A magical day and evening. But, they still had work ahead of them
The sooner they discussed everything, the sooner they’d know where their relationship stood. But where do they start? How to begin? Maybe Tom’s suggestion—work with a counselor? Wonder if he’s mentioned that to Drew? And his reaction to the suggestion?
She rested her hand against her abdomen. She needed to find a doctor in Tampa soon. Just about a month since she’d seen the doctor in Toronto. First thing tomorrow, she resolved to ask Kelly and Terri if they had any recommendations. Just wish everything between Andrew and me weren’t so complicated.
Her phone buzzed and Caryn saw the text from Andrew:
Andrew: Thinking about you.
Caryn responded immediately:
Caryn:Thanks for a perfect day and evening.
Andrew: Join me tomorrow?
Caryn’s frown matched the emoji she selected:
Caryn: I may be late. I need to sign that contract. I want to read it one more time.
Andrew: Don’t overthink babe. Do what you feel is the best decision.
Caryn:I’ll try to figure it out. See you as soon as I can.
Caryn heard Andrew’s voice as she read the words:
Andrew: Trust your instincts. Get some sleep, angel. Call me if you need anything.
Caryn smiled as she typed emoji hearts. It reminded her of texts they exchanged when Andrew was on the road. She didn’t remember who began inserting emojis, but those texts always brightened her day. Sometimes we just exchanged texts completely composed in emojis. Those were fun little puzzles. Almost feels normal again. She plugged her phone back into the charger, turned on her side and hugged his pillow against her chest.
17
By mid-morning, Caryn had scheduled an appointment with the physician both Terri and Kelly recommended, read through the McRainey contract one final time, and triple-checked with Lauren to confirm she still believed they could fulfill the contract’s requirements.
“Absolutely positive, Caryn,” Lauren assured her. “I’m finalizing a project budget now for you to look over, and with your permission, I’ll begin lining up seminar leaders as needed. I know I need to conduct the first few seminars, but they could assist and learn the program.”
“Of course that’s okay with me. I’ll sign the contract and get it over to Mr. Wesley. Congratulations, superstar!”
“Only because you’re giving me this opportunity. I promise McRainey—and Mr. Wesley—will be totally happy with the results.”
Caryn laughed softly. “Give me a call later and update me on our new West Coast clients. I’m running late, and I hope to join Andrew for his therapy sessions.”
Caryn gathered the lunch she’d prepared and placed it in a cooler, stuck a water bottle in her bag, and then headed out the door just as Tom drove into the garage.
“Hey, stranger,” she said in greeting.
“Hey, yourself. You going over to rehab?”
Caryn noted his obvious fatigue. “You’re exhausted, Tom. Can I get you something to eat or drink before I leave?”
“Just point me toward the bedroom. I’m too tired to eat.”
She hugged him when he reached her side. “There’s chicken salad in the fridge. Your mom’s recipe.”
“In that case, I’ll eat first,” Tom said with a smile.
“Come in and sit down. I’ll make you a sandwich.”
Tom glanced at the cooler she held. “You taking lunch to Andrew? I’ll fix my own. Andrew’s time is limited mid-day. Go, enjoy lunch.”
“Are you home for the rest of the day?”
“I’m here until tomorrow morning.”
Caryn smiled. “I’ll see you when I get back.”
“Have you seen your brother lately?” Caryn asked as she and Andrew enjoyed lunch in the Rehab Center’s courtyard.
Andrew nodded as he took a long drink of water. “Just for a few minutes. He looks like shit.”
“I’d say sleep-walking. He arrived just as I was leaving. How do they manage those long shifts?”
“No idea, Caryn.” He reached for a second sandwich. “He’ll revive if you saved some of this chicken salad. I guess doctors get used to long shifts. It’s worse for new residents, from what Tom says. Second and third-year residents get first chance at the on-call beds. Seniority rules, even if you’re napping.”
Caryn made a face. “Poor Tom.”
“He signed on for this. He’s tough…had experience with long shifts when he was an intern. Now, he’s expected to make decisions for patients he sees. I think that adrenaline spike will keep him focused when needed.”
Caryn set her sandwich on the paper plate. “Did Tom mention counseling as a way for us to start working things out?”
“Yeah, he did. What do you think about it?”
Caryn met his eyes, she couldn’t read his thoughts. “It might help us in the beginning. I’m not sure where to start.”
“I can make a list of all the shitty things I’ve done to push you awa
y. But, that would take longer than I hope to be separated from you.” Now his eyes betrayed his thoughts, and Caryn felt herself grow wary.
“I have my own list of things I’d change if we had a do-over.” She averted her eyes and tore off a small piece of her sandwich to eat.
“We could try a counselor.” His voice lacked conviction. “If you think it’ll help.”
Caryn’s temper flared. “Unless you have a better idea? Exchange our lists and take turns choosing topics?”
“I have no idea. I want what we had yesterday…”
“Just pretend nothing happened? Forget the last four months? I wish we could, Drew. I truly do.”
His eyes met hers and she saw the resignation in his expression before he sighed. “I know we can’t. Maybe Tom’s right. A neutral counselor could start the conversation. I can get a recommendation and set up an appointment.”
Caryn nodded, a lump suddenly forming in her throat. Talking about all this will bring up the feelings I’ve tried to bury. It will hurt as much as it did at that time. Andrew reached across the table and brushed a tear aside.
“It’s hard for me to think about discussing everything with a stranger,” he admitted.
“But easy to tell Kristen everything?” Caryn blurted the accusation before she could think, sarcasm lacing her words. Andrew didn’t respond, his eyes holding hers steadily. “She made sure I knew you ‘shared everything’ with her—even personal stuff between you and me. She got it right, so you don’t need to deny it.”
“I’m not,” Andrew said quietly. “We talked during therapy, especially when I was in a shitty mood. She was a good listener.”
“I’m sure.” Caryn crossed her arms over her chest and nodded for him to continue.
